Bachelor/bachelorette parties

[cinmell]

For those of you who had a bachelor/bachelorette party, did you go out for a night or did you hop on a plane and go away for the weekend? Just curious b/c my brother is getting married in Oct. and both my husband and I are in the wedding. Brother wants to go to Vegas or Chicago for a weekend (we live in Boston) and the bridesmaids are kicking around a weekend in NYC.

I got married 5 years ago and we just went out for a night. I was wondering what most people do. Personally, I really don't see the need of going away but that's just me. I'm espcially not looking forward to this b/c if they go away the same weekend, we'd need a babysitter for the weekend and $$$$$.

 

[cosette24601]

a whole weekend? right before the wedding? who has time to do it?

I never heard of a bachelor weekend before.

 

[TEENEE]

I agree, going away is too much. You're already spending a lot on clothes, gifts, in some cases babysitters and hotel rooms. Going out of town is just a waste of money. I'm sure everyone can have just as much fun doing something close to home.

 

[mtemm]

I skipped the bachelorette party thing, and my dh's bachelor party was an in-town thing. I'm totally blanking on what they did, it was an all-day late-night thing and I know they rented a bus. I think I'm confusing his party with some of his friends parties. Most of those were in/around Boston...maybe down to foxwoods, the cape, or the like. The last bachelor party was this fall (6 years after our wedding) and the guys just chilled in Boston for the night.

There were a couple of guys who had them in Atlantic City, Vegas, and Montreal, but mostly they were local. Same with bachelorette parties.

 

[FOJMO]

I've been married twice and neither time were there bachelor/bachelorette "parties". Never saw a need for them and, IMHO, always thought they were kind of juvenile...

 

[dvcfamily41801]

For my DH they went out to dinner and then stayed home at our house and played cards and just hung out. My DH is totally not into the nudie bar/stripper scene and his groomsmen were totally respectful of that so it is just what he wanted.

As for us girls, we went to Outback for dinner and then went on the Spirit of Philadelphia cruise. Its just a cruise up and down the Delaware River, about 2-3 hours or so. It was fun. Again, I am not into the stripper thing at all, so this was perfect.

More and more I have heard about people taking off for the weekend, but if I was in the bridal party there would be no way I could or would want to do something like that. I think it would be way to much money and again, a babysitter for the entire weekend, etc., it just seems like a lot to ask.

 

[monkeyboy]

Originally posted by FOJMO
Never saw a need for them and, IMHO, always thought they were kind of juvenile...

Well they are a rite of passage for most men.

In most cases the attendees lok forward to them more than the groom.

The last few I have been to have involved a great meal and a few rounds of golf.

 

[cinmell]

Originally posted by dvcfamily41801
My DH is totally not into the nudie bar/stripper scene.

As for us girls, we went to Outback for dinner and then went on the Spirit of Philadelphia cruise. Its just a cruise up and down the Delaware River, about 2-3 hours or so. It was fun. Again, I am not into the stripper thing at all, so this was perfect.

More and more I have heard about people taking off for the weekend, but if I was in the bridal party there would be no way I could or would want to do something like that. I think it would be way to much money and again, a babysitter for the entire weekend, etc., it just seems like a lot to ask.

Yeah, we're not into the stripper thing either. And I'm already concerned about the money b/c the wedding is in Newport, RI (the bride is from there) so we have to get a hotel for the weekend which is still considered peak season, tux, bridesmaid dress, gift, etc. I didn't know if I was the only one who thinks a weekend away, especially a month before the wedding is too much.

 

[MerryPoppins]

We had a large wedding party. DH and I had gone to school together, so my bridesmaids were his friends and his groomsmen were my friends. We opted for a coed party the night before the wedding so we could all be together and visit. We went to a local restaurant and sat out on the patio by the lake. It was lots of fun.

Personally, I think if they plan a weekend thing and you don't want to go, then don't. Just tell them you can't get away or something.

 

[CamColt]

Ive been hearing more and more about these weekends lately. It seems like things keep getting bigger and bigger.

Us girls got a limo, went to Joey & Marias Comedy Wedding(had dinner there), then we went into Boston to Dicks Last Resort. I had heard great things about this place but it was really lame. Then some of my bridesmaids started getting in an ice throwing fight with some guys and I got out of there before I had a black eye for my wedding, LOL! We then went to a more local bar in Malden before calling it a night.

The guys rented a van and started out at that place in Quincy. The name is escaping me now, it like a beach party place. Then they were going into Boston to hit some bars when the van broke down. DH's friends ended up taking cabs to strip clubs, and DH, his brother and my BIL all waited for the tow truck. DH's brother went with the truck and DH & BIL took a cab home. Needless to say I had more fun than he did that night.

MerryPoppins, I like the idea of the coed party. I had suggested it but it didnt fly with DH.

 

[cinmell]

We did the coed night out too. We met at a local bar, had some drinks and apps then took a cab into Faneuil Hall. It was fun, I wish my brother and his fiance would do something like that.

 

[caitycaity]

most of our group of friends go away for a weekend (though not right before the wedding) b/c not everyone lives in one city. it just makes sense.

for ours, however, since we were already having a destination wedding, i had two bachelorette parties: one with people here in D.C. and we just went out here (dinner and bar/club hopping), and one in Orlando with the people who were not local (dinner and pleasure island).

if you don't want to go, don't go, but i don't see the need to critique or pass judgement on their choices.

 

[IloveDMB]

I think that weekends away are the new trend for bachelor/bachelorette parties. I have a good friend whose husband has been to Vegas 3 times already for bachelor parties.

I also know a lot of girls who go to Vegas for a couple days, but AC is also close to us so we have gone there for the weekend too.

I also agree with caitycaity, go if you want and so on.

 

[snoopy]

I wanted to do high tea for my bachelorette party, which my bridesmaids all thought the most boring thing. I insisted on it, though, I am NOT into strippers and would have walked out if they had surprised me with one. I worked as a bartender at the time and saw my share of strippers (and the bar scene, for that matter), and really didn't want that for my bachelorette party. So we did the girly girl high tea, and it turned out to be a lot of fun.

We also did a dinner with both my husband and I, a sort of combined bachelor/ette thing on the same night, with all of our friends. We have always had the same friends since we have known one another for so long, so this worked out well. No one came who was from out of town, so there was no weekend getaway.

 

[bekkiz]

For mine last october, 7 of us went to San Diego. Most of us teach and coach so it was a welcome getaway in a busy time. I'm not into clubbing, or anything like that. We went to sea world Although it would have been a bit cheaper to stay up here in San Francisco, we had a fantastic time and it was a mini-vacation for all of us.

My hubby just had a ton of people over (guy friends, and some of their girlfriends). They played poker and xbox and BBQ. I had my Maid of Honor over, and my mom, we put together the favors that night. No crazy stories, just fun They do the poker/xbox night about once a month now

 

[joats]

I've been a bridesmaid/MOH for 8 weddings. The bachelorette parties that took place in my 20's were full of scavenger hunts, bar crawls, stippers and embarrasment. In my 30's no more strippers but rather a nice dinner and drinks - very casual.

However, there have been a few brides that have "expected" their bridesmaids to wisk them away for some magical weekend. Some last hurrah sort of speak. As if we all have trees in our backyard growing money. Yes, I am going to be judgemental, but asking your wedding party to fly or give up a whole weekend is selfish. Again judgemental, but in my experience these are the same people who are more excited about the wedding itself than the marriage and the vows taken.

I would never have wanted my bridesmaids to spend more money than they already had to. I had a great evening out with the girls. No embarrasment, no strippers. Good friends, good food and a lot of laughs!!

I mean no disrespect to anyone who had a bachelorette/bachelor weekend. This has only been my experience. But as other's have posted before, perhaps you can find a way out of not going if you don't want to. But believe me, I understand the pressure.

 

[helenabear]

I opted not to have one since I had some BMs who were rather poor (just graduated college) and lived way out of state. I didn't want to have one when only 2 could show up and I wasn't about to have it the night before (but we did have a great gathering at my dad's house with all the family and friends).

Out of town seems to be increasingly popular... I haven't done one yet and it doesn't seem I will, but I think if that is what works, then that's fine! Most of my friends who are getting married can't seem to afford that themselves though

 

[phanomouse]

I have planned/attended 3 in the last 9 months two of which were out of town and the third was a weekend at my Cabin. For one we went to Prague for a week, the other we went rock climbing in New Zeland.

**this is my disclaimer, I know not everyone can afford a bachelor party like this so please don't attack me on the topic

I personally don't feel like I would want a trip out of town... I would rather have a large party with both the brides friends and my friends but no family or just a day of hanging out with the guys... But hey thats just me.