baby shower question

[surfergirl602]

So a friend of mine is having a baby shower on the 30th. I just got a facebook invite a few days ago. Her baby is a month old already. We were pregnant at the same time, due a week apart, but I had my baby 3 weeks early. She never made a baby registry. I knew she was doing a sports theme, so in May we bought her a baby gift. We spent around $75.00.

She now has a registry at walmart, of all places, and it has 8 things on it. There's a note saying that those were a general idea of things they still needed. So... do I get her another gift? I feel bad not going - she's been having a rough time recovering from her c-sec and I know she could probably use the clean up help, etc.

So what should I do here? We really don't have the money to buy another lavish gift right now. I just paid all the bills!

 

[Kirby]

I don't think that you need to buy her another gift. Just go to the shower and if anyone asks, tell them that you've already given her something.

 

[surfergirl602]

I don't think that you need to buy her another gift. Just go to the shower and if anyone asks, tell them that you've already given her something.

Oh, I should have mentioned that pretty much everyone invited has already given her a gift. Small group of officer's wives. LOL So that's why I'm conflicted - she's now potentially getting two gifts from everyone.

 

[HeatherH]

Oh, I should have mentioned that pretty much everyone invited has already given her a gift. Small group of officer's wives. LOL So that's why I'm conflicted - she's now potentially getting two gifts from everyone.

Seriously? She's having a shower for a group of ladies that already GAVE her baby gifts? Who is throwing this thing...please tell me she is not throwing it for herself!

If she is a close enough friend I would tactfully tell her that it is just rude to expect people to give her TWO gifts. If she wants to have a party to introduce the baby to everyone...great. But to call it a "shower" and to expect everyone to shell out for a second baby gift is just really, really tacky.

 

[twinglesmome]

Seriously? She's having a shower for a group of ladies that already GAVE her baby gifts? Who is throwing this thing...please tell me she is not throwing it for herself!

If she is a close enough friend I would tactfully tell her that it is just rude to expect people to give her TWO gifts. If she wants to have a party to introduce the baby to everyone...great. But to call it a "shower" and to expect everyone to shell out for a second baby gift is just really, really tacky.

I too was wondering if she is throwing the shower for herself
If you want to go but don't have money for another gift, perhaps you could give her coupons for chores you can do for her or prepare a little extra when you make a meal and send it over.

 

[surfergirl602]

Seriously? She's having a shower for a group of ladies that already GAVE her baby gifts? Who is throwing this thing...please tell me she is not throwing it for herself!

If she is a close enough friend I would tactfully tell her that it is just rude to expect people to give her TWO gifts. If she wants to have a party to introduce the baby to everyone...great. But to call it a "shower" and to expect everyone to shell out for a second baby gift is just really, really tacky.

Her mom and sister are visiting, and they are throwing it. She didn't have a shower in before her son was born, so we all got her loads of stuff. And now we're expected to go to this shower. Ugh... I don't think I'm going to get anything. Maybe I'll bring a snack instead, like some chocolates.

 

[surfergirl602]

I too was wondering if she is throwing the shower for herself
If you want to go but don't have money for another gift, perhaps you could give her coupons for chores you can do for her or prepare a little extra when you make a meal and send it over.

I've already been over and helped out with the housework. She had a rough birth and an emergency c/s, so I made her meals, too. And took the dog for walks. The baby is a month old already. lol

 

[klacey1]

I would talk to your friends who are invited and ask them what they plan to do. At the very most, I would bring food or something. Not another nice gift.

 

[pixiewings71]

I wouldn't go all out with another gift but I would probably bring something. Books for the baby or an outfit, maybe some cute shoes....something like that but nothing major.

 

[tommya60]

I'd take something....maybe a picture frame with a picture of the new family if you have one, a childern's book, an outfit. Nothing too pricey at all. And I'd likely ask around to see what other's are doing.
Depending on how close a friend, you could suggest an alternate party for her mom and sister if they want to have a party. They could hold an Open House or a tea for everyone to meet her mom/sister, visit with the baby....

 

[We_Love_Disney]

No additional gift is necessary or warranted from you or the others that have already contributed.

I hope the Mom and sister are throwing this just to have an excuse to get into the spirit of the new addition. Your friend should really have told her mom and sister that she has already received gifts.

You may want to bring a little something to contribute to the food. But, again, not necessary.

And Congratulations on the birth of your child!!

 

[daisyduck123]

Honestly, I would just skip the shower. You've done plenty for her already and you have your own newborn to take care of.

I would definitely not get her another gift.

 

[pigletgirl]

Absolutely not. You've already given a gift.

 

[Bethenny]

Her mom and sister are visiting, and they are throwing it. She didn't have a shower in before her son was born, so we all got her loads of stuff. And now we're expected to go to this shower. Ugh... I don't think I'm going to get anything. Maybe I'll bring a snack instead, like some chocolates.

How strange. You'd think the mom and aunt would want to just hang with the new baby rather than "share" him with a bunch of women. I'm sorry to say, but it sounds like a gift grab. Your friend should have insisted on not having a shower since the baby's already here and she's already received gifts.

 

[Aimeedyan]

Is this a sip and see, or an actual baby shower?

I'd bring something small - like a hardback children's book (~$5) just to have something in hand. That is what I would bring to a sip and see.

 

[cm8]

No more gifts, and please don't feel bad, you have already contributed way more than some people would. If she did not get some big-ticketed items that she wanted, then she should have no problem asking her mother and sister for them.