Baby shower etiquette and ?'s

[C.Ann]

holy cow! 2,500 for a baby shower?? wow, i can't even imagine!

I guess you didn't catch the premiere of "Platinum Babies" on Friday night then - huh? LOL.. One mom-to-be stated - "We have a $45,000 budget for the nursery.."

OP - I don't think you need to contribute any money..

 

[Disney Doll]

My parenst didn't have a $45000 budget for their first house!

 

[C.Ann]

My parenst didn't have a $45000 budget for their first house!

DD and her DH paid in that area for their first house in 1998.. Granted, it was a bank foreclosure - and the people who were evicted trashed it before they left - but my son-in-law gutted the entire house and re-did everything from top to bottom - including re-doing the inground swimming pool.. Because he was able to do all of the work himself, he only put another $40,000 or so into it and they sold it for a very nice profit in 2006.. He likes to go with the top grade materials and such, but even HE would NOT spend $45,000 on a NURSERY!!!!!

 

[Took]

This has to be one of the rudest posts I have read in a long time.

Disagree completely. Emily Post couldn't have put it better.

 

[laughinplace199]

Zombie thread. This "baby" would by about 9 years old now.

 

[CarolAnn856]

.

 

[Skellingtonj]

This kids practically in college now, think we can close this thread.

 

[Disney Doll]

I’ve been to baby showers at homes. I’ve been to them at restaurants. I can’t recall being to a coed one but I have been to coed (“Jack and Jill”) bridal showers. I’ve been to baby showers where there has been alcohol served, although it’s usually been mimosas or some kind of fruity punch that someone makes 2 bowls of and one bowl has liquor in it and one bowl doesn’t.

It’s tacky to throw yourself a shower. Even though we all know it’s a gift grab, it’s more socially acceptable for someone else to be grabbing gifts for the mother- and baby-to-be.

As far as helping to pay, I’d say no. You offered to do a couple of things and your offer was refused. I’d give the gift I was planning to give and be done with it. If you’re giving a bond, my only other thought would be to not put the parents name on it as the secondary person who can cash it, because it would probably get cashed sooner as opposed to later. You want the child to actually benefit from the bond.

 

[kimblebee]

The hypocrisy on this thread is insane!

I ask over and over and never get a proper answer. It seems fitting on this thread too.

How is throwing yourself a baby shower tacky and seen as a gift grab but having a graduation party for 50-100 people seen as perfectly ok.

Please don’t use the argument that graduation party gifts aren’t expected..I’ve seen too many ‘how much should I give for neighbours sons third cousin once removed graduation card?’

Give me a break..

 

[Skellingtonj]

The hypocrisy on this thread is insane!

I ask over and over and never get a proper answer. It seems fitting on this thread too.

How is throwing yourself a baby shower tacky and seen as a gift grab but having a graduation party for 50-100 people seen as perfectly ok.

Please don’t use the argument that graduation party gifts aren’t expected..I’ve seen too many ‘how much should I give for neighbours sons third cousin once removed graduation card?’

Give me a break..

800000% true. And we don’t know why she had to throw herself a shower. Maybe she had no one to do it for her.

 

[nkereina]

How is throwing yourself a baby shower tacky and seen as a gift grab but having a graduation party for 50-100 people seen as perfectly ok.

I realize this is a zombie thread so I didn't bother to read the evolution of the thread. But in the case of a high school or even college graduation party, wouldn't the kid's parents be the one throwing/hosting the party? That's a little different than throwing yourself a baby shower where you're essentially telling people to come shower you with gifts.

That said, I do feel for women who have no one throw a baby shower for them. I don't see anything wrong with having a little party to celebrate your baby, but I would not register or openly ask for gifts.

 

[kimblebee]

I realize this is a zombie thread so I didn't bother to read the evolution of the thread. But in the case of a high school or even college graduation party, wouldn't the kid's parents be the one throwing/hosting the party? That's a little different than throwing yourself a baby shower where you're essentially telling people to come shower you with gifts.

That said, I do feel for women who have no one throw a baby shower for them. I don't see anything wrong with having a little party to celebrate your baby, but I would not register or openly ask for gifts.

Yes, the parents are the ones throwing it but the gift expectation is still there.

I get it’s a huge US thing, but it still reeks of gift grab.

 

[nkereina]

Yes, the parents are the ones throwing it but the gift expectation is still there.

I get it’s a huge US thing, but it still reeks of gift grab.

With that logic, I guess the same could be said of any party - birthday party, christening/first communion party, wedding reception. Guests are expected to bring a gift and the hosts (whether its the guest of honor themselves or someone throwing it for them) will provide a meal typically. And at the end of the day, all of it is to genuinely celebrate a life milestone or achievement.

 

[powellrj]

Yes, the parents are the ones throwing it but the gift expectation is still there.

I get it’s a huge US thing, but it still reeks of gift grab.

Graduation open houses aren’t gift grabs. When we had one for DD, most of the people who came didn’t bring gifts. Kids don’t bring gifts for other kids and we had mostly kids at ours. Maybe it’s because we live in a poor area, but the adult gifts she did get were more tokens like books.

 

[mjkacmom]

Graduation open houses aren’t gift grabs. When we had one for DD, most of the people who came didn’t bring gifts. Kids don’t bring gifts for other kids and we had mostly kids at ours. Maybe it’s because we live in a poor area, but the adult gifts she did get were more tokens like books.

It’s not poor here, and kids don’t give each other graduation gifts, that would be insane!

 

[BLAZEY]

Tacky to throw yourself a shower. Here they are usually held in homes or church hall depending on who's hosting. Tea service and finger sandwiches.

 

[leebee]

I know this is a zombie, but as I was reading the thread I kept thinking, if she has $2500 to spend on a baby shower, maybe she should just keep the money and use it to buy the baby related things she needs instead of depending on her friends to bring them as gifts! (and do you wanna bet that she never sent thank-you cards- but that's another thread for another day!)