Baby Name Question

["Cinder" Ella's Mom]

My brother named his daughter my exact maiden name: First, middle and last. My first name is Katherine and I go by Katy. She is Kathryn and goes by Katie. I thought it was odd at first (it is not a family name except mine!) as did my other siblings. But you know what? I love it now. It is something that bonds me with this lovely little girl! I could do without the "big" Katy/"little" Katie talk, but it is kind of cool!

 

[tina.tina]

I'll ask again, OP, have you asked your daughter what she thinks?

I totally agree with the OP. Her DD5 is too young to have a valid opinion.

I absolutely wouldn't ask any child about this issue. It's out of their control, and it's out of the parent's control as well. The best thing is to have a no big deal attitude if it happens.

I definitely wouldn't mention it to your DD unless it happened. There is no use in needlessly bringing up drama with a child. A name is a very important identifier for a child and it might upset her to think about it. It would bother my DD14 if it happened in our close family. She is non-confrontational but she would want me to tell them that she didn't like it and, like the OP said, that should/would have no bearing on the SIL's decision. My DS9 likes to debate and would directly ask the SIL why she wanted to use his name and continue to have such conversations with her until she changed her mind just to make him stop talking.

 

[smitch425]

Of course it's cute and fun to talk about baby names in general.
This situation is specific and sensitive, at least at this point to the OP. It's not the same as a casual discussion.

But it could easily be a casual discussion as long as there was no clear bias involved, and 5 year olds are perfectly capable of having valid opinions. This is where I leave the conversation. It's getting too ridiculous for me. Lol

At any rate, OP, I hope your new niece or nephew is born healthy and things go smoothly for everyone involved no matter what the name turns out to be.

 

[gwynne]

But it could easily be a casual discussion as long as there was no clear bias involved, and 5 year olds are perfectly capable of having valid opinions. This is where I leave the conversation. It's getting too ridiculous for me. Lol

At any rate, OP, I hope your new niece or nephew is born healthy and things go smoothly for everyone involved no matter what the name turns out to be.

You may know 5 year olds who wouldn't give it a second thought that a cousin might share a name. One of mine would have been that way. The other? She would have likely discussed plenty and have had firm opinions. I see zero benefit in opening this discussion with a child. Life's too short, stay with the positive.

(And I know it's nickname vs given name...but kids will see it the same I think.)

 

[3Gsandme]

New babies are always wonderful and we're looking forward to meeting him or her no matter what their name or gender.

 

[Skywalker]

I can ask her but I don't know that her answer should have any bearing.

...which is probably exactly what your sister in law said about you! LOL

 

[alievans719]

My cousin named her daughter my name, but in the family I always went by a nickname. It still was super confusing when I would be over and trying not to answer to one name. It was still a little weird to me.

 

[3Gsandme]

...which is probably exactly what your sister in law said about you! LOL

If she didn't want to know what I thought she shouldn't have asked me. But, she did. I'm not sticking my nose in and giving unsolicited advice.

 

[cleverclovers]

I have a five year old with a rather unique first name. She either goes by her full first name or a diminutive of that name which is, literally, half of her name. Like, Jenny for Jennifer or Danny for Daniel.

SiL is pregnant and wants to use dd's diminutive if she has a daughter. Again, like naming her daughter Gwen when my daughter was named Gwendolyn and goes by Gwen.

SiL asked me if I thought that was weird and I told her that I thought it was. That dd goes by that name. That everyone calls her that name.

Apparently, SiL is still pushing the issue and reached out to my sister today to tell her they were thinking of using this name. My sister told her it was weird and not a good idea and SiL seems to think it's no big thing and "nicknames are fair game".

Complicating this is both brother AND SiL call dd by this name, so it's not like they use her given name to speak with her. Again, it's like calling her Jenny and then wanting to USE the name Jenny for their future child.

I'm irritated and frustrated. Am I out of line?

Call her by her middle name instead of her first name. Perhaps the rest of your family will follow your lead.

 

[meliss8599]

I honestly wouldn't care and would most likely be honored/flattered she thought so highly of my name choice. The kids/parents are going to come up with nicknames for the little one which will most likely be different from your daughter's anyway. Regardless, you are entitled to your opinion and feelings and, since she asked, you are entitled to share them with her. As others have said, what truly matters is that this baby is healthy--not what her name is. As hard as it may be at this time, try to keep that in mind above all else.

 

[mamacatnv]

Logically I don't have much of an argument against this
However, as the Mother of two children with very unique names, I would be ticked off.
May not be logical but nonetheless it would tick me off - steal my kids name, sheesh, be original, get your own.

 

[NewRVLady]

What is going to happen is HER DD will be called Little Kate or even just her initial or given a nickname

 

[Skywalker]

If she didn't want to know what I thought she shouldn't have asked me. But, she did. I'm not sticking my nose in and giving unsolicited advice.

Yes, I get that. Your opinion was asked, and given. But your opinion isn't law. It is just one aspect of probably LOTS of pros and cons they are thinking of. That is why I think you are out of line for being frustrated and angry with them. You said your piece and now you should let it go. Its simply not your decision to make. When I was naming my kids, none of my sisters-in-law had veto power, nor should they!

 

[gemini2727]

My mom and my aunt were pregnant at the same time, and both wanted to use Elizabeth for a girl. My mom said her sister could use the name, she'd choose another. She had me, no Elizabeth, and then my aunt had a boy, no Elizabeth again, lol!

 

[SLP958]

It's weird.
She can do what she wants but she will look like the strange one.

It would irritate me too.

 

[Lynne G]

It is weird, but not uncommon. I have a cousin who had her sister give her daughter the exact cousin's name. Whole family calls the younger one little C, and aunt is big C. Tradition in my DH's family is for the oldest boy to name his boy the same name as the grandfather. Well, my Dsis had a boy first, and named her boy the same name as grandfather. I decided that should have been our first boy's name, but since she already did use that name, I chose to not follow tradition and only gave my boy the same middle name of the grandfather. My DH didn't care.

I hope whatever name is chosen, won't matter once the child is born. Lucky kid to have such a great Aunt.

 

[DeluxePrincess]

I'd be slightly annoyed, but wouldn't harp on the subject.

 

[mom2rtk]

Weird, but fine in my book. My sister's name is Emily, and our brother married an Emily. My kids call them Aunt Emily #1 and Aunt Emily #2. They even have the same middle initial, and until my sister got married, they had the same last name. Does it get confusing at times? Yes. Does it require extra words when referring to them? Yes. Is it a big deal? Not in the least bit. There are thousands, maybe millions, of people with your child's name. Just because you know one of them who is close to you is really not going to be that big of a deal. Congrats on your new niece.

I wouldn't expect a sibling to pass on marrying someone with the "wrong" first name. But I do find it odd that a sibling would purposely use the same name as my child.

OP, I would hold my ground if she later comes up with a plan to have you use the full version of your DD's given name "just to make things less complicated....... If she uses the name she will be the one responsible for the complication, so let her find her own way to solve it.

 

[NewRVLady]

I am glad my husband married ME- even tho I had the same name as his MOM-LOL

 

[NewRVLady]

OP - will they have same last name?