Baby Coming Home Outfit

[Hannathy]

Will she or others be at your house to welcome the baby ? or will they come over later or maybe the next Sunday? Depending on the case you can put on the baby what you want to leave the hospital and then after arriving home change it into MIL's dress to welcome everyone (didn't want anything to happen to the dress on the way home, for heavens sake!) . This way everyone wins. Or if they are coming a few days later "save" the dress for that day so everyone can see the lovely dress she picked out and wanted to save it for that special occasion.

Say all of the above with a smile while gushing how thoughtful it was of her to buy it. You really can do what you want in the end but you have to learn how to put things so everyone is happy.

(don't worry I have had over 20 yrs practice, I can spin anything)

 

[kacaju]

I picked out a neutral outfir for baby #1 since we didn't know if she was a boy or girl. We didn't find out with the other two so I just had them all wear the same outfit!!

Why don't you save MIL's outfit for the first visit to Grandma's house!!

 

[hmacmahony]

just don't worry, bring it, tell your MIL it was too big and the baby didn't fit in it.

Now, heres my advice for coming home, bring a newborn size outfit, even my over 8 pound infants fit in them, at least a few days. The 0-3 stuff was so big for a squishy newborn it fell off my oldest. So, get a newborn outfit, and a 0-3 just in case the newborn is too big.
My second advice, get a nice PJS set to bring baby home it. The carseat is a pain, and at that point you just want to get the baby home. The pictures they take at the hospital (at least ours), you really can't see the outfit anyway, and you are going to go home, and want to relax,so is the baby. Rather than making yourself a bunch of laundry, get a cute little newborn pjs set, and call it a day!
Have fun!

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Smile and nod and then do what YOU want. You will never make everyone happy and there is no point in starting a fight about this. If she asks why you didn't put the outfit on the baby just say that you found something that worked better with the carseat. Then drop it. Don't engage her about it, don't make 1 million excuses, don't apologize etc. If you don't make it into a big deal then it won't be. She may be hurt or annoyed and her intentions were probably good but I am guessing you feel the same way. You'll both get over it and will have a ton of other stuff to power struggle over.
FTR- I remember what all of my children wore home from the hospital.

 

[LJRJR]

Dont make a big deal of it, but definately put your baby in what you want. I also have the outfits that my children came home from the hospital in, and they were simple, comfortable, outfits. My MIL was so nervy that she somehow made her way into the maternity ward an hour before visiting hours. I was never so shocked tp see her standing in my room, shortly thereafter, security escorted her out. Good luck and enjoy your baby.

 

[Deesknee]

oh....I'm a minority here....but I had 2 kids ( been quite a while) with the 1st,I was a MANIAC over what to put on that child.
With my 2nd, I used lots of hand me down adorable stuff. What I remember,and carry with me,is the LOVE I fekt bringing those little ones home. I actually have no idea what they wore home now(my oldest is 16) without looking at the photo album.
I know my Mom bought clothes to the hospital,and I put them on the baby,it made her so happy! Whether or not I ever put those clothes on the baby again later,well that depended on if I liked it or not.
What I'm trying to say is to try and focus on what's important here. A child who has so many people that love it,and want to gift you with all that 'love!'
In a few years time,what you'll all remember is the feelings among all of you- if you all turn it into a battle,it will never end.
Put the outfit on the baby,take some hospital pics,then change her back into something more 'you' for the ride home. The baby won't care,trust me. And,as any seasoned parent knows,it'll be just a few very short years before you're in the same category as your MIL,your kiddo won't want to wear ANYTHING that you've chosen for them! (usually around 2-3 years old,this starts)

I couldn't have said it better myself. When mil & your own parents for that matter, are gone, whether you agreed with their taste or not is not going to be important. The relationship you and your children had with them, That will be important. Also, if you do say something, remember, "say what you mean, mean what you say, but don't be mean when you say it".

BTW, congratulations on your miracle. and good luck.

 

[MariDisney]

No real advice. But, I have a similar story. When I was PG with my now 10 y.o. DD my (no ex) DH and I picked out the perfect outfit for her to come home in. We were absolutely in love with it. At some point we were hanging out with MIL and she announces that she bought an outfit for the baby to come home. She went to get it to show us. I shot DH the dirtiest look ever and he knew there was going to be an issue at some point. (no one will be surprised that this wasn't the first issue with MIL) Anyway, she came back and showed us the outifit, and it was the EXACT same thing we had bought. I then thanked her profusely and took the outfit. We returned the one we bought, kept the money, and she was never the wiser.

 

[TBGOES2DISNEY]

My MIL did something almost exactly like this with my first. When she wants something, boy can she be pushy!

She wanted my first to wear the outfit that she brought all of her kids home in. I told her, "No, thanks. I already picked out an outfit." I am not exaggerating that she asked me at least five more times!!! I was getting incredibly irritated, and my husband always wants me to be the one to let things go or to ignore the situation. I can't remember if she brought the outfit to my house or what, but when they invited themselves to be there at the hospital when we were going home with the baby (something I wanted us to do alone - as a new family), she obviously had to notice that the baby wasn't wearing her outfit.

I noticed after they visited the baby at our house that the outfit had disappeared and assumed she had taken it back!

It still annoys me all these years later, and believe me, she's pulled stuff like that time and time again with clothes and various other issues.

 

[Crystal824]

Everyone thanks for the advice. My mil is very pushy and often difficult to deal with. This may be a regional thing as I was raised in N.C. I now live in Pittsburgh. I try to get along with her and be respectful and let DH deal with the issues. She often pushes boundaries with me that my own mother would never do. This outfit thing for instance, my own mom would never do this. She has also been known to come into my home and start rearranging things in our famiy room because she doesn't like the way they are placed, not furniture but pictures and knicknacks. I'm sure she means well but if we start this now, will she think she has the right to pick out every special outfit for our child.

I know alot of you think I'm nuts because this is about clothes. Clothes aren't usually that important to me. I have taken lots of hand me downs for the baby from friends and family, but this is a one time special outfit that I do plan to keep. My mom still has my dress when I came home from the hospital. As I said before, this was something I had already started to put thought into and shop around for.

I told my DH it is up to him if he wants to say something about the dress, but she won't be wearing it home from the hospital regardless of if his family is there. At this point, I'm not sure what our plans will be when we come home. I would like for it to be just the three of us. My in-laws live about an hour away so I'm not sure if they will be there or not. My famiy may also be there that day because they live in N.C. and will probably come in from out of town for a couple of days when she is born.

Again, thanks everyone.

 

[Crystal824]

I can also relate to this.. My mother-in-law decided to tell me how she hated our choice for our nursery because "Red, white and blue are boys colors.. NOT colors for girls!" So, she decided that everything she was buying for our daughter was going to be "girl" colors. We registered for blankets that would match our set, but she told her family members to just ignore that and buy pink instead.

Seriously though.. The PP is right.. You aren't going to be able to get your new little one in the carseat properly in that dress. That will be the first time she is in the carseat and that you have to put her in, that dress isn't going to be comfortable for either of you. I say, buy the outfit you want and then if your mother-in-law decides to stop by your house later on, just put the dress on then.

Good luck to you!

This would also make me crazy. At least I'm in good company.

 

[Crystal824]

I agree with this! Those dresses can look cute but they are a total pain in the you-know-what when it comes to the seatbelts! This is besides the point but its something I wish someone had told me... take a few different kinds of outfits. My daughter was due the middle of November and I had it in my head that she would be late so I bought something for cooler weather. Well she came 2 weeks early, in the middle of a fall heat wave! My mom had to go out the next day and buy her clothes to come home in. The things she got were nice, but kind of plain tshirt and pants. It was not what I would have picked out.

Personally I would not say anything, just take a few outfits and if she asks you about it then tell her you thought the baby would be too hot/cold in it.

This is a great idea. I will buy a couple of different things in different sizes and see what fits best. Thanks for the suggestion because I was sort of stuck on finding the perfect outfit. Now I will just have to buy a couple.

 

[Kit'smommy]

I had planned for a white and blue embroidered suit for my son to come home from the hospital. It was a newborn size. Unfortunately, DS was a growth restricted baby and was born a couple weeks early. He left the hospital weighing 5 pounds even and wearing a premie sleeper that a friend had accidently purchased in the wrong size (she meant to buy something bigger).

DS wore the pretty suit on his first trip to church 6 weeks later and it was still too big.

You may want to buy a few things that you would be happy having her wear home as you may not be able to go with your first choice anyway.

 

[PaulaSue]

Maybe just take a picture of baby in it and then change to what you want. You could also do the first prof pictures in the dress at least a shot or 2 to keep MIL happy.


BTW, Honestly I can't tell you what my girls came home in. Point is years later it is not really a big deal as it seems right now and if you like MIL ou might want to "give" this to her. Just DONT let her step all over your parenting....

 

[poohfriend77]

I know alot of you think I'm nuts because this is about clothes. Clothes aren't usually that important to me. I have taken lots of hand me downs for the baby from friends and family, but this is a one time special outfit that I do plan to keep. My mom still has my dress when I came home from the hospital. As I said before, this was something I had already started to put thought into and shop around for.

I get that it's not about the clothes.

My MIL bought me a crib bedding set shortly after we told her I was pregnant. At first I was furious because she was trying to take away my chance to decorate my first baby's nursery. We didn't even know boy or girl yet, so I wanted to wait a while. She got it from the store where she worked, on clearance with her discount, so it was "too good to pass up." In her defense, it was classic Pooh, and I LOVE Pooh, so it was actually a thoughtful purchase. But it still wasn't what I wanted. When I decided on a different "Disney" Pooh set in brighter colors, she bought that one as well, and never said another word about the first one. I appreciated the fact that she didn't push or lay a guilt trip on me, so when she bought a frilly dress for DD's first Easter, I dressed her in it. It's easier to find a happy balance when you don't feel bullied.

 

[Crystal824]

I get that it's not about the clothes.

My MIL bought me a crib bedding set shortly after we told her I was pregnant. At first I was furious because she was trying to take away my chance to decorate my first baby's nursery. We didn't even know boy or girl yet, so I wanted to wait a while. She got it from the store where she worked, on clearance with her discount, so it was "too good to pass up." In her defense, it was classic Pooh, and I LOVE Pooh, so it was actually a thoughtful purchase. But it still wasn't what I wanted. When I decided on a different "Disney" Pooh set in brighter colors, she bought that one as well, and never said another word about the first one. I appreciated the fact that she didn't push or lay a guilt trip on me, so when she bought a frilly dress for DD's first Easter, I dressed her in it. It's easier to find a happy balance when you don't feel bullied.

No, you are right it isn't all about the clothes. I know mil probably means well, but she does this type of stuff alot. Just buys things or does things and assumes that I will agree with whatever she wants. If I don't agree, she throws a fit. Alot of times, I just let it go and do what she wants because it is easier. With the baby, there are some things I want to do myself or with my DH. I feel like she was trying to take that opportuity away just like with your bedding set. I think my DH going to talk to her and let her know that the dress just isn't practical and give her the option of taking it back or we will have her picture made in it.

 

[avahoneybee]

My kids are older but both of them had Little Me sleeper type outfits when we brought them home. A dress seems very uncomfortable (and impractical) for a newborn.

I'd tell your MIL that you'll put her in the dress on her first visit. Plus, is she even going to be there when you bring the baby home?

 

[RooRach0906]

My MIL is like yours always pushy and also a problem solver. When I was looking with DH at outfits to bring our lil girl in she was there and kept saying someone will probably get you an outfit at the shower you will want to use. I could tell she wanted to buy an outfit so I took DH aside and told him to let his mom that we both wanted to pick out the outfit for her to wear home. We did not tell her at the store but one day at the her house he let her know. Ever since then tho surprising she has been better. Been leaving a lot alone except telling me when I need to do things (pack my hospital bag etc) so I just let her say whatever and just nod and then come home and do what I want. As far as anything that comes to the actually soon to be baby she has been letting it go and letting us decide. So my advice would be have your DH have a nice conversation with her letting her know in a nice private way what you both want.
P.S. I wanted a dress for the take home outfit then DH found a cute capri type outfit and I gave in but to me its different to give in to a husband because its their child too.

 

[everylastbreath]

Ok, I am a MIL & a Mother, my daughter has a beautiful 4 year old who I have TOTALLY enjoyed dressing for years.. Big diff. when it's your daughter (or in most of your cases, YOUR mom) you can tell her exactly what you like or don't like, communication is easier with your own family which is why I have stepped back w/my son & his wife, I know this- BTW, they have no children yet, but when my beautiful DIL does get pregnant, I know it will not be the same as with my daughter. When I give my DIL christmas presents, I automatically include receipts, because I know she is such a sweetheart and would never want to hurt feelings to ask for one, so I give to her without asking, I will never know if she returns things.

I can tell you as a Grandmother, we will just continue to buy things, she will probably not even remember the "take the baby home dress" in a few weeks/months, because something else will probably replace it. I'm sure she is just excited about the baby and wants to spoil it. Please don't take that away from her, if possible try talking to her about your style and see if maybe she just doesn't know what you like. Ask her to go shopping and pick some stuff out, guaranteed she will return to buy them....

If she is a real pushy woman, then yes your husband needs to get involved and put her in her place, but if she's just excited, try to include her.

Nobody is ever going to be a close to you and your baby as you & your parents, I have a Girl, I am a daughter, I know the deal!

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Honestly-I wouldn't sweat it.

You pick what you want. You were polite, but that didn't make you obligated to use the outfit for her purposes. Maybe slide it on the little one for a picture in the hospital and then ditch it.

I have step-mom issues that could put some MIL issues to shame. For years she insisted she was making my wedding dress without any care or concern for what I wanted or my plans with my own mother. I didn't bring it up until I was engaged and she got on her high horse with me ready to force her wishes upon me. It was very ugly after I politely declined after being told since the age of 11 or 12....but she had no right to take that position or bully me.

I was looking for coming home outfits for this little one and I Cannot fine anything. I want cute and COZY...not frilly and prissy. I have one more store to look at and if I don't find anything, I have something from Once Upon a Child that I will use.

I can't imagine any family member giving me somethign that I didn't ask for and then expecting me to use it as they intended and then me actually going along with it. That's rude of them even if they did it with the best of intentions.

Just understand that your MIL is doing this to be controlling and not b/c she is doing what she thinks is best. Her irrational reactions is your proof.

 

[scrapquitler]

Simple solution:
You take the pink frilly dress to the hospital AND the outfit you want to take baby home in. On the day you are taking baby home, put baby in the pink frilly dress and take pictures, then change her into the outift you want to use and take more pictures. Take her home in the outfit you want to use.
Later, show your MIL both sets of pictures. Tell her "Look how cute she was in her going home outfit. Too bad she puked all over it right before we were ready to head home, so I had to change her into a backup outfit at the last minute".
Yeah, its kind of a passive agressive solution, but it will keep everyone happy.

Honestly, to me, the going home outfit wasn't a big deal when I had my kids. I just put them in a sleeper and took them home. I didn't see the big thing, but that's just me. If it is a big deal to you, put the outfit you want on the child.