Baby Coming Home Outfit

[Crystal824]

I was at my in-laws' home this past weekend. My mother in law says she has something to show me. She pulls out this outfit that looks like a pink christening gown and tells me it is to bring home my daughter from the hospital. She bought it a a boutique, etc, etc. There were other people around extended family so I didn't say anything. I didn't want to embarrass her.

Here is the the thing, this is my first child. I'm 26 weeks pregnant. I had really been looking forward to picking out the outfit we would bring her home in. In fact, I have been looking for several weeks but haven't bought anything yet. This is NOTHING like what I had pictured. Way too fancy and uncomfortable. I was going to go with a dress but not one that is three times the size of the baby and covered in lace. Further, I feel my mil is overstepping some boundaries by not even asking just buying. I probably would feel a little differently if she had said, we really want to buy the coming home outfit, let's go shopping and pick something out. She didn't. She just bought a dress that I really don't even like.

Anyway, I just kind of looked at her. I said the dress was pretty. It is. It isn't ugly, just not me. She took that as agreement to the dress, but I later on the way home told my husband, he needed to talk to his mom. He said just put whatever you want to on the baby because his mom will probably not be there when we go home. She will probably see pictures and may be there. She lives locally and is retired.

I don't want to offend her but this is my baby and something I was looking forward to doing. I feel that she is trying to take that away from me. This isn't the first time she has done somthing like this. With our wedding, she was constantly trying to make decisions and buying things without consulting me or my husband.

I have decided that my child will not wear that dress home. I'm not saying she will never wear the dress, it just won't be the coming home outfit. I'm not sure how to handle the situation. Should we tell mil, or not tell her take the dress and then use another outfit and deal with any questions later?

 

[NotUrsula]

Easy. The coming-home outfit cannot be a long dress because you have to buckle her into a carseat, and you cannot safely bunch up a lot of excess fabric under the crotch buckle.

This is total truth, btw. Be sure to pick either a soft shorty dress or a sleeper with legs, depending on the outdoor temperature that day, so that the carseat harness will buckle properly.

 

[cel_disney]

Oh boy - can I relate! I am 24 weeks with baby #2 and my MIL still hasnt figured out this boundary! I was just gifted a 'The Princess Sleeps Here' sign for DDs room...soooo not MY style or color choice for MY DD but MIL says she HAD to buy it!

BUT - this is what I would say....pick out something you want the baby to wear home! Tell your MIL when it gets closer that you wont be able to use the dress because it will interfer with the carseat straps/test they do at the hospital (you definitely do not want all of this extra fabric under the straps whether the nurse allows it or not!) but you promise to put the dress on her for a special family visit day so it shows up in lots of pictures at home!

Good Luck! Dont feel badly about this! We're here for you to help with the excuses that you will inevitably need!!

 

[HunnyJar]

I can also relate to this.. My mother-in-law decided to tell me how she hated our choice for our nursery because "Red, white and blue are boys colors.. NOT colors for girls!" So, she decided that everything she was buying for our daughter was going to be "girl" colors. We registered for blankets that would match our set, but she told her family members to just ignore that and buy pink instead.

Seriously though.. The PP is right.. You aren't going to be able to get your new little one in the carseat properly in that dress. That will be the first time she is in the carseat and that you have to put her in, that dress isn't going to be comfortable for either of you. I say, buy the outfit you want and then if your mother-in-law decides to stop by your house later on, just put the dress on then.

Good luck to you!

 

[Disney_Ohana]

MIL's sure make life hard some times huh?

When it comes to my MIL, I make dh deal with her. It's HIS mom .

She's had her kids, brought them home in whatever SHE wanted, now it's YOUR turn.

 

[PigletsMommy]

Easy. The coming-home outfit cannot be a long dress because you have to buckle her into a carseat, and you cannot safely bunch up a lot of excess fabric under the crotch buckle.

This is total truth, btw. Be sure to pick either a soft shorty dress or a sleeper with legs, depending on the outdoor temperature that day, so that the carseat harness will buckle properly.

I agree with this! Those dresses can look cute but they are a total pain in the you-know-what when it comes to the seatbelts! This is besides the point but its something I wish someone had told me... take a few different kinds of outfits. My daughter was due the middle of November and I had it in my head that she would be late so I bought something for cooler weather. Well she came 2 weeks early, in the middle of a fall heat wave! My mom had to go out the next day and buy her clothes to come home in. The things she got were nice, but kind of plain tshirt and pants. It was not what I would have picked out.

Personally I would not say anything, just take a few outfits and if she asks you about it then tell her you thought the baby would be too hot/cold in it.

 

[HunnyJar]

I agree with this! Those dresses can look cute but they are a total pain in the you-know-what when it comes to the seatbelts! This is besides the point but its something I wish someone had told me... take a few different kinds of outfits. My daughter was due the middle of November and I had it in my head that she would be late so I bought something for cooler weather. Well she came 2 weeks early, in the middle of a fall heat wave! My mom had to go out the next day and buy her clothes to come home in. The things she got were nice, but kind of plain tshirt and pants. It was not what I would have picked out.

Personally I would not say anything, just take a few outfits and if she asks you about it then tell her you thought the baby would be too hot/cold in it.

I totally agree with this! Luckily, I am sort of neurotic and decided to bring several outfits to the hospital, good thing I did! Our daughter is VERY long, but very slim so the original outfit I wanted her to wear was way too big for her. She looked like a baby flying squirrel. Good thing I had a back up!

 

[Bugsmom73]

I would get something else. My Mom found something for DS and he wore it to have his picture taken in the hospital with, it was from a yard sale and cute but we had a green snoopy sleep n play to take him home in.

 

[designermv]

I would be put off by this too, OP. I'm guessing that the gown she bought won't even fit the baby, even if it's 0-3 month size. I thought I was good to go with my first, and had a cute little 0-3 outfit with a matching hat. She weighed 8 lbs. 1 oz. and the outfit was HUGE on her. She looked like MC Hammer in her ridiculously baggy pants! For my second, we brought a newborn sized sleeper and it was still big, and she weighed 7 lbs. 8 oz and was three weeks early. So unless the gown is newborn or preemie-sized, it may not even fit your little girl.

Like a PP mentioned, you don't want a bunch of loose, bunched up fabric getting in the way of having your babe properly placed in her carseat.

If it were me, I'd just pick out my own outfit, bring it to the hospital, and if MIL questions you, just sweetly tell her that you realized it wasn't going to work with the carseat and/or it was a bit too big. When your baby is a few weeks old you can do a quick photoshoot of her in the gown and hopefully that will satisfy MIL.

Good luck!

 

[hsmamato2]

oh....I'm a minority here....but I had 2 kids ( been quite a while) with the 1st,I was a MANIAC over what to put on that child.
With my 2nd, I used lots of hand me down adorable stuff. What I remember,and carry with me,is the LOVE I fekt bringing those little ones home. I actually have no idea what they wore home now(my oldest is 16) without looking at the photo album.
I know my Mom bought clothes to the hospital,and I put them on the baby,it made her so happy! Whether or not I ever put those clothes on the baby again later,well that depended on if I liked it or not.
What I'm trying to say is to try and focus on what's important here. A child who has so many people that love it,and want to gift you with all that 'love!'
In a few years time,what you'll all remember is the feelings among all of you- if you all turn it into a battle,it will never end.
Put the outfit on the baby,take some hospital pics,then change her back into something more 'you' for the ride home. The baby won't care,trust me. And,as any seasoned parent knows,it'll be just a few very short years before you're in the same category as your MIL,your kiddo won't want to wear ANYTHING that you've chosen for them! (usually around 2-3 years old,this starts)

 

[roliepolieoliefan]

Hey at least you have a MIL who gives a crap. I have a MIL who lives 1/2 hour away and sees my kids 3 times a year.

I know that doesn't make the situation better but as someone said take some pictures of your DD in the hospital with the outfit your MIL bought then put on the outfit you pick out and bring her home in that.

I was never obsessed with a going home outfit. Its an outfit. With my 1st I didn't know if it was a boy or girl. After my son was born , I had DH go and buy our son a going home outfit. He did good, bought a very cute matching outfit at Gymboree. Hat, outfit, shoes, socks and blanket. The nurses chuckled when they seen my son dressed to go home. They all remarked, this is your 1st baby, isn't he?

 

[mjkacmom]

You really don't want a dress. I always had a 1 piece with feet, button or zip up in the front, with a side snap undershirt. Babies seem so fragile (especially to first time parents!), and it takes a little bit to get used to putting things over the head. Remember, you will be buckling the baby up in a carseat - dresses are a PITA (if you want to keep the legs covered).

 

[GingerJay]

LOL. I played "fashion show" with my helpless newborn too.

Put them in one thing, took some pics, then put them in another. Truth be told, it didn't matter to the babies much at all.

Just do what you think is best..you are the mommy after all

 

[crisi]

Did my kids come home wearing clothes?

Believe it or not, you'll probably have a hard time remembering ten years from now what you put on her to bring her home (or maybe even what their birthday is ). It isn't worth the drama. Although a dress IS impractical because of the carseat - though honestly, you just hike up the dress and buckle the kid in.

 

[cydswipe]

Oh goodness... I can relate to this topic!

Dress your child, as you wish.... One way around this is to have the new daddy pick out the outfit... (start a tradition)

I have a feeling your MIL can be a handful. I feel your pain! I give an inch to my MIL and she takes 12.

My DH jokes I need to learn to "play the game"... He's an only child and knows how DMIL can manipulate. For example, we didn't tell DH we were going to disney until WAY late. We didn't want them to jump in on our first vacation. Sure enough, when MIL found out, she said "next time I'll go with while grandpa is fishing. I can babysit at night!"

Pick your battles. Your MIL is excited for a grandchild. Be thankful your child will have an active grandparent who loves her unconditionally. There are worse things than an outfit... I know you already know that! )

BTW... CONGRATS and best of luck!

 

[surfergirl602]

Easy. The coming-home outfit cannot be a long dress because you have to buckle her into a carseat, and you cannot safely bunch up a lot of excess fabric under the crotch buckle.

This is total truth, btw. Be sure to pick either a soft shorty dress or a sleeper with legs, depending on the outdoor temperature that day, so that the carseat harness will buckle properly.

Yep.

I was going to post the same thing. You need to be able to buckle the carseat and the hospital won't let you leave until they check the carseat and the straps.

You could get pictures taken in it, but it is not suitable for a coming home outfit. It's your baby, your 1st one, so pick out whatever you'd like. Just make sure you keep the carseat and buckle in consideration. A two piece or a sleeper would be fine.

 

[surfergirl602]

I can also relate to this.. My mother-in-law decided to tell me how she hated our choice for our nursery because "Red, white and blue are boys colors.. NOT colors for girls!" So, she decided that everything she was buying for our daughter was going to be "girl" colors. We registered for blankets that would match our set, but she told her family members to just ignore that and buy pink instead.

Seriously though.. The PP is right.. You aren't going to be able to get your new little one in the carseat properly in that dress. That will be the first time she is in the carseat and that you have to put her in, that dress isn't going to be comfortable for either of you. I say, buy the outfit you want and then if your mother-in-law decides to stop by your house later on, just put the dress on then.

Good luck to you!

Oh my gosh, this would infuriate me!!!! I would have my DH on the phone with his mother telling her how it is, and to tell all those people to go with our wishes, not hers! Ugh!!!

 

[surfergirl602]

I agree with this! Those dresses can look cute but they are a total pain in the you-know-what when it comes to the seatbelts! This is besides the point but its something I wish someone had told me... take a few different kinds of outfits. My daughter was due the middle of November and I had it in my head that she would be late so I bought something for cooler weather. Well she came 2 weeks early, in the middle of a fall heat wave! My mom had to go out the next day and buy her clothes to come home in. The things she got were nice, but kind of plain tshirt and pants. It was not what I would have picked out.

Personally I would not say anything, just take a few outfits and if she asks you about it then tell her you thought the baby would be too hot/cold in it.

Also, you have no idea what size your baby is going to be, so that cute little newborn outfit you bought might not even fit! Our first was 10 pounds, and she needed a 3 month outfit to bring her home in because she was so long.

 

[chicagoshannon]

Just put her in whatever you want. Although I'd tend to use the thing MIL gave because you can just put her in it for the 30 minutes or however long it will take you to drive home. Then change her into something you like once you get home. Then you can put it away for "safe keeping" to give to her when she's an adult. That way when your MIL asks you can tell her it's put away to give to dd later cause you didn't want it ruined.

My MIL pulls stuff like this all the time. I smile and say thank you and then donate it to goodwill. I'm lucky in that she doesn't remember what she gives me.

 

[LuLuO]

Better to get DH to talk to her now about boundaries. We had to do this with my MIL. She means well, but her taste is usually not my taste. We still have issues though (not just clothing) and I have learned to be very straightforward with her.

The last conversation we had about clothing was over an Easter dress for my daughter. The conversation ended like something like this, "Well, if you think you can do a better job at picking out MY daughter's Easter dress then go ahead." I think she finally got the hint after I hit her over the head with it.

I've also learned to have things picked out or purchased already so that it isn't an issue any more. Actually I leared to do that after she made DD's 2nd birthday dress and it was the most hideous thing I've ever seen.