Baby Blues...

[bunny213]

My daughter (35) just had her first child (boy) two weeks ago, he weighed 8 lbs 1 oz. She has been in tears for 3 days now...I try to help, but nothing seems to do the job.
He is a little sweetie, but fusses and cries for great lengths of time. He takes about 2 oz of formula every few hours...sleeps for a few minutes and then starts to fuss. He burps well and she keeps him dry....does anyone have any suggestions? He will stop fussing if she holds him....she is feeling so inadequate - she doesn't want him to be spoiled.... any help out there??
Thanks...Barb

 

[mtemm]

(((HUGS))) to her. Make sure she understands you cannot spoil a newborn. I wish I had some words of advice for her. Has she considered getting a sling or baby bjorn? Might be helpful.

I'm concerned that he doesn't seem to be sleeping. Could he be reacting to the formula? maybe have a tummy ache? has she tried mylecon or similar to see if it is gas pains?

 

[mickeyboat]

First of all, it is impossible to spoil a newborn.

Fussiness could be caused by an intolerance to the formula she is using. Has she tried some other kinds, talked to the pediatrician?

The fussiness could be caused by colic, especially if it is happening a lot in the evening. 3 weeks is prime time for colic to start.

The fussiness could be caused by reflux - again, have her talk to her pediatrician.

Has she tried swaddling the baby? Keeping the cradle, crib warm, a bouncy (vibrating) seat or swing?

If she is feeling badly, she should talk to her doctor about treatment for post-partum depression. PPD is a serious and real disease, and there is help available.

Taking care of a newborn is overwhelming and exhausting! Is there someone who could help her for a little while, a couple of hours a day so she can get some free time, maybe some fresh air.

Hope DD and baby are feeling better soon.

Denae

 

[Christine]

My daughter (35) just had her first child (boy) two weeks ago, he weighed 8 lbs 1 oz. She has been in tears for 3 days now...I try to help, but nothing seems to do the job.
He is a little sweetie, but fusses and cries for great lengths of time. He takes about 2 oz of formula every few hours...sleeps for a few minutes and then starts to fuss. He burps well and she keeps him dry....does anyone have any suggestions? He will stop fussing if she holds him....she is feeling so inadequate - she doesn't want him to be spoiled.... any help out there??
Thanks...Barb

Barb,
I think this behavior is very common in some babies. Right around the 1-2 week mark, my DD took to screaming from about 5:00 p.m. until bedtime. And it wasn't colic. I'm not sure what it was but it lasted for several weeks and I was about ready to come undone every evening. Holding her a lot, rocking, anything we could do we did. A lot of these soothing maneuvers helped.

It could be some form of colic, it could be that he's not tolerating his formula well, it could be that he's fussing from overstimulation (this was the thought on my DD). Overstimulation is a common problem in young babies. They are just not used to be up all day with the common house noises and the interaction. Crying/fussing is their way to let it out and unwind. Not saying this is the case here, but it could be as simple as that!!

I feel for you but before you start making a lot of changes, I would just try to soothe the baby.

She will NOT spoil a 2 week old baby. They want to be held, loved, soothed. Now, if you said he was 3 years old, that might be a different story.

 

[Beth76]

Is she swaddling him? That might help him sleep longer. Both of my boys did very well being swaddled (tightly!) when they were little.

 

[Gordon Ramsay]

Poor lad and mum. Has your daughter tried swaddling the little chap? He might just be so unused to space and light, or even might miss the familiar sound of mum's heartbeat.

 

[meandtheguys2]

Does she have a sling, by chance? When mine got fussy (and were tiny) DH would put them in the sling and go for a walk. It always settled them down. I would get a breather, shower, cry, read or whatever for 1/2 hour, and even if they cried when they got back, I had a bit more ability to deal with it.

eta: Women were fascinated with DH when he had the kids in the sling. They were a bunch of silly groupies...which didn't hurt his motivation for helping! Lots of positive reinforcement!

 

[magicfan]

Just so she doesn't get overwhelmed, I think she could benifit by other people helping her. And, if it's at all possible, let her get out on her own, just for a little while. No matter how much we love our babies, we need some alone time every now and then.

Also, my DD, as we soon discoverd, had issues with regular formula. We switched her to Soy and that really helped. You might also try Mylacon drops for gas. Good luck.

 

[Christine]

I just wanted to add that when my DD was doing all her crying, I ran out and bought one of those Baby Bjorn slings/baby holders. Oh, how I had visions of vacuuming or doing housework with her safely attached. Well, she screamed her head off.

I know a lot of people have recommended this and I'm sure it works for most people, but if you go out and get one and it doesn't work, I don't want your DD to feel worse.

My DD did the like baby swings. We put them on full force and she would quiet down a bit in that.

 

[floridafam]

You can't spoil a newborn.

DD has a sleep positioner. It allows her to lay on her side without rolling over. It also is higher at one end than at the other which allows her to sleep with her head a little higher than the rest of her body-which she LOVES.

Here is a picture of it
www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detai.../104-2029789-4407952?v=glance&s=baby&n=507846

Does she swaddle him? That might also help

Maybe the type of formula he is on is bothering him. We had to switch our DD to lactose free formula.

I held my DD almost constantly when we first brought her home. DH and my other children were a great help. Maybe someone could give her a pedicure or something well she holds the baby. There are a ton of things that may seem small but will make a huge difference to a new mom-making bottles, washing laundry, etc.

Good luck. Try the sleep positioner, swaddling and laying him on his side. Our DD has been sleeping through the night since she was 2 weeks old and it could be because we did these things.

Good luck and congratulations Grandma!

 

[Sleepy]

Is she swaddling him? That might help him sleep longer. Both of my boys did very well being swaddled (tightly!) when they were little.

My son looked like a burrito, but that was not even enough. he had to be in a more enclosed area. I had to place him in his stroller. (of course, not the part that looks like a baby carrier). He just was not happy in a crib.

Is the formula causing constipation? My nephew could not drink soy formula for that reason.

 

[Christine]

My son looked like a burrito, but that was not even enough. he had to be in a more enclosed area. I had to place him in his stroller. (of course, not the part that looks like a baby carrier). He just was not happy in a crib.

Mine DD was the same. I had her so swaddled it was scary. I tried it all different ways. She just fussed and fussed. I just think it's the nature of some babies. She is 14 now and she's still a bit of a complainer!

 

[floridafam]

I just wanted to add that all of my kids hated cribs, too.

Our middle DD was put on Soy formula and became even more constipated.

Good luck and let us know how things are working out.

 

[Jenn Lynn]

I have a 6 week (almost 7 week) old. He hates his crib.
I agree that you cannot spoil a newborn. Hold him if he wants to be held. DS sleeps with me and will sleep 3-4 hours before waking up to BF.
The baby just came out of the womb. He is used to being in a small secure spot. A big crib is probably overwheleming. Does she have a bassinet?

Also, It is ok for your DD to cry. My Midwife believes firmly in the 4th trimester-the 12 weeks after a baby is born. Her hormones are adjusting, she is tired, overwhelmed and worried about being a good Mom. It is a new dynamic she has to deal with and adjsut to. Are you nearby? Any other family near by? Can you call people to have them help her out? Just being able to shower made me feel half way normal. Can they come over and throw in laundry? Vaccuum? Start a meal? All of these things may seem small, but they mean a lot to a new Mom.

Tell her to trust her instincts! Forget the baby books and unsolicited advice from everyone. If she feels he needs to be held then hold him. It's not worth it to feel like crap because someone else thinks they know better than the maternal instinct! JMHO! (And please support her even if it is not what you would do. )

 

[devotedchristian]

It sounds like she may be experiencing the beginning of Post Partum Depression. Please monitor her for the next few weeks and give her lots and lots of support. I know, I've been there.

 

[va32h]

I highly recommend the book "The Happiest Baby on the Block" - I forget the author, but his book says what I had guessed myself after my 1st baby - babies just need an extra month to get used to life on the outside.

Swaddling, rhythmic rocking and white noise could all help with the fussiness. My youngest dd liked to be rocked very firmly, and was soothed by white noise, hairdryer, vacuum, me going "SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" in her ear. My mom thought I was nuts, but she couldn't argue when dd calmed down within seconds of the swaddling, swinging, sushing treatment.

Assure your daughter that it is okay to hold him, newborns cannot possibly be spoiled. Are you able to take him for a few hours, so she can sleep and pull herself together?

It is also okay to let the baby fuss for a little bit - I don't mean crying it out - but if the crying is making the mom so upset that she is at her wit's end - well, as I said to my sister once "The baby is safer crying the crib than in my arms right now. I am not in control of myself".

Good luck, keep us updated.It will get better.

 

[barbarabini]

The baby may have gas because of the formula -- I went through 3 formulas. Prosobee finally worked.

We also drove the baby in the car -- a lot -- at all hours--- everywhere. At least the baby was quiet. LAst, my mom would take the baby after some terrible nights and I would take a sleep aid and sleep for 6 hours straight. The lack of sleep is really what does you in.

 

[grlpwrd]

I agree with what has already been suggested, especially swaddling and using a sling. Swaddling and babywearing really does help.

Besides the things she can do for her baby I would also suggest addressing the potential she could be having postpartum depression.

Here's a link: http://www.kellymom.com/ppd/index.html I would try to help her with baby as much as you can, encourage her to tell her healthcare provider and seek help or even medication if she does have it, consider taking herbal remedies like St. John's wort or evening primrose oil if she wants to take a more homeopathic course (with prior clearance from her dr.), and things like that. The Kellymom site is a great resource and so is www.askdrsears.com . The Happiest Baby on the Block is a great book too...here is the website: www.thehappiestbaby.com

GL and best wishes to all of you!

 

[bunny213]

Thank you everyone for your kind words and advice...My daughter went to her doctor yesterday and we took the baby this morning. He was diagnosed as having acid reflex - and they have prescribed Bethanecol and Zantac. Her doctor was very kind and understanding and is working with her. We are helping as much as we can....it's so wonderful to have people like you to turn to. She doesn't want her sisters or anyone to know that it's being so hard...so it is good to be able to talk to you all!!!
Thank you again and God Bless...........Barb in Texas

 

[chrissyk]

I wanted to add that the book "The Baby Whisperer" is supposed to be very good. I've read part of it myself, and it does seem to make good sense.

Getting the reflux under control should help a huge amount too. I don't know if the Dr. recommended this or not, but my friend's sister was told by her Dr. to breastfeed her sons for 12 months because they had reflux. Believe me, she was counting down the days until their first birthdays, but apparently it helped the reflux. I don't know if it would be too late to start nursing now, though...not sure how that works.