b-day party invite - no gift

[ICF]

They said no gifts. I don't see why you would question

 

[HALEYSMOMMOM]

oh my dd was invited to a party once, the mom, my friend, told me personally and clearly no gifts. I said OK, I believed her. EVERYONE else brought a gift I felt sooo bad and cheap. Check with the others if you can to see what they are going to do. Otherwise, something thoughtful that doesn't cost much would be nice and meaningful....

ETA- I felt so bad that we actually went out and bought something and gave it to her the following week

 

[shoney]

oh my dd was invited to a party once, the mom, my friend, told me personally and clearly no gifts. I said OK, I believed her. EVERYONE else brought a gift I felt sooo bad and cheap. Check with the others if you can to see what they are going to do. Otherwise, something thoughtful that doesn't cost much would be nice and meaningful....

ETA- I felt so bad that we actually went out and bought something and gave it to her the following week

UPDATE!!!

I caved! I dropped by son off at his friends house (his mom is driving them) and I asked her if she got anything and she did...a gift card. I drove over to Friendly's and got a gift card there.

I do appreciate all the advice.

Not sure I did the right thing, but I did it anyway!

 

[Maddies Mama]

UPDATE!!!

I caved! I dropped by son off at his friends house (his mom is driving them) and I asked her if she got anything and she did...a gift card. I drove over to Friendly's and got a gift card there.

I do appreciate all the advice.

Not sure I did the right thing, but I did it anyway!

If she said no gifts, I'm not sure why you went and got one anyway. It's not really about how you feel bad for not getting anything. It was her request.

 

[rszdtrvl]

Maybe because your son is not really friends with this child the mother didn't want it to seem like they only invited kids to get gifts.

I would have gotten a gift card for the child too.

 

[shoney]

If she said no gifts, I'm not sure why you went and got one anyway. It's not really about how you feel bad for not getting anything. It was her request.

I know! The clock was ticking...the other boy had a gift...and I had to make a quick decision.

Either way, I feel bad, so I decided I'd rather feel bad giving a gift than feel bad not giving a gift. (I don't feel bad for the parents...it is the kid...what kid doesn't like gifts?!LOL)


Ugh! This is the part of parenting that they don't give you the manual for!

 

[LJSquishy]

I know it is too late now, but I would have honored the mothers wish and not given a gift, but instead would have brought a balloon bouquet for the birthday boy.

 

[shoney]

Maybe because your son is not really friends with this child the mother didn't want it to seem like they only invited kids to get gifts.

I would have gotten a gift card for the child too.

Exactly. that is what I was afraid of too.

 

[Lovin' Disney]

So did your son and his friends have fun at the party? What did they do?

 

[shoney]

So did your son and his friends have fun at the party? What did they do?

They are there now. Will update later!

 

[v.t.]

I think the real gift is your son going and getting the others to go. (I would have taken something as well.)

 

[englishteacha]

Glad your son and friends went. I hope your sending a gift didn't make things tough.

My nephew has autism, and is blessed to have some very good friends. Freshman year he was being picked on by an older boy, and a female friend (they'd known each other since they were 3) told the other kid to knock it off. When the other kid gave her guff, she hit him. I don't normally approve of hitting, but I secretly was proud! This party will mean a lot to the birthday boy, I'm sure. Even if they aren't "Friends" now, they may turn out to be later on.

 

[shoney]

Back home and it all went well. They played outside, played kinect and had pizza.

The mom said 12 showed up when they were only expecting 6! I guess some of those kids who originally said "no"...showed up without telling! Now, that's a whole other issue! LOL

 

[sl_underwood]

As a mom of an autistic kid, I must say I think your son is awfully great. I know what it is like to throw a party and beg kids to show up, spend tons of money and plan something so cool that even kids who would never in a million years talk to my son will come so he feels good. I can only imagine that the mom felt like your childs presence was present enough. Most will never understand how much it means to a parent and the special needs child when people actually make the effort to interact and spend time with them.

 

[cornflake]

I get why you felt like you should show up with something - the Friendly's card seems like a good choice. It's not a gift gift to unwrap, and the parents can just use it to take him out and get use out of it. Even if only the two of you brought something, easy enough to hide cards so he doesn't feel like other people didn't.

 

[ldadar]

I always put no gifts on my invites and almost everyone ignores it.

I put it because we invite the whole class and I don't want anyone to feel like they have to bring a gift to come.

My parents and DH's parents are divorced and we have a very large family so my kids get way too much stuff.

 

[GaSleepingBeautyFan]

I know he's already been to the party but in my sons group of friends, they often invite each other to their birthday get togethers with the no gift rule.

It started when they were 13. I actually really appreciate it because he forgets to tell me until the day of.

 

[BrerMom]

I think she meant no gifts in the context of "your son's presence at the party is the best possible gift you could give my son."

Socially, 7th grade is difficult for most kids, and especially for kids like this. I'm glad your son went with a good attitude. The fact that he had fun is a bonus.

 

[Soarin_04]

Sounds like the birthday boy is on the autism spectrum (Aspergers, maybe?), and let me just state as a mom of an Aspergian kid -- you've no idea how much more your son's presence and that of the others at his table meant to the mom and her son than any gift possibly could.

Way to go, Mom. You raised a great kid who's obviously a leader.

 

[JerseyTink]

Love the Friendly's gift card idea!! It is something the family can enjoy together. What a great and thoughtful idea. I can see where your son gets it from. (I would have brought a gift card, too. I am terrible that way!!)