Awkward situation - need advice

[Kallison]

When you reach a certain age you get tired of doing stuff because you have to. When I was in my 20's I would have felt the same way as you do - that I should go or it would seem rude. Now that I'm 41, I feel a whole lot different. Just tell your neighbor thanks for the invite but no thanks, you used to belong to that church and have no inclination to join again. You really don't owe her any explanation. I'm a big believer of being on good terms with my neighbors, but I don't have to be best friends with all of them.

 

[AMClvsMKY]

Actually it sounds like she's trying to reach out and get you to join her church. I think if she was just trying to reach out and get to know the neighbors she would invite you to her house, or out to lunch.

This is what I thought of at first. It seems like if they wanted to get to know the neighbors she would have they over to their house instead.

I don't think it would be rude to refuse. If you don't want to there's no reason, IMO, that you have to go or that you should feel like you have to do something out of obligation.

Good luck with your decision

 

[AMClvsMKY]

Actually it sounds like she's trying to reach out and get you to join her church. I think if she was just trying to reach out and get to know the neighbors she would invite you to her house, or out to lunch.

This is what I thought of at first. It seems like if they wanted to get to know the neighbors she would have they over to their house instead.

I don't think it would be rude to refuse. If you don't want to there's no reason, IMO, that you have to go or that you should feel like you have to do something out of obligation.

Good luck with your decision

 

[disykat]

I agree that she isn't trying to befriend you, she's trying to get you to go to her church. I think you need to be pretty clear to her that although you appreciate the invitation and would love to get together with her sometime, you aren't interested in attending her church. You'll find out pretty quickly what her invitation was all about.

I had neighbors who invited us to their church when we first moved in. I thanked her for the invitation but explained that we'd lived in the area for quite some time and were very actively involved in our own church and couldn't miss services there due to our commitments to choir and Sunday School. I thought it was an attempt to be friendly and thought we'd have something in common, I guess not because other than being polite to us they've made it clear they aren't interested in friendship. Sad!

 

[raidermatt]

Just another opinion here that if you don't want to go, don't go. If you would like to get to know them better, just suggest an alternative actvity, such as dinner or lunch at your house, or at a restaurant. Or a BBQ at the local park, whatever.

If she really does just want to get to know you as neighbors, this will be no problem for her. If not, well, at least you know the truth.

 

[Disney Doll]

I would be honest with her and say "I was a member of that church several years ago and had some unpleasnt experiences there, so I'd prefer not to go to a social event there. I'd LOVE to meet you for _________ (fill in breakfast.lunch,dinner,coffee, whatever)next Tuesday, so we can get to know each other. Does that work for you?" Then see how she reacts. If she fluffs you off, then you know it was an attempt at evangelization.

 

[shortbun]

I'm inclined to agree with the rest. I'd feel no
obligation to go to anything at someone's church.
My neighbor is always trying to coerce me into
going to her church too. Anytime she invites me
into her home, I go. When the invitation is extended
to her church, I decline. My neighbor has been
downright manipulative; she's "bought" me tickets
to events and left them on my porch...I act like
I never saw them and someone must have stolen
them. I finally told her not to do it anymore. I made
cookies and tea and invited her over to tell her not
to push the church thing anymore. She was ok about
it. Good luck.
mimi

 

[Jenn]

You guys are great - I feel so much better now!

She actually did mention that she already bought the tickets (8 of them actually - but I don't know who else is invited).

I think I am going to politely decline and invite them and their kids over for dinner.

In all honesty, I planned to do some major Christmas shopping that weekend (although I'll just tell her I have plans - no need to say what specifically).

Thanks guys!

 

[Snow White]

I think thats a good decision! I wouldn't want to go either. My boss at my last job kept inviting me to "socials" at her church and I decided that if she wanted to "hang out" that we could do it elsewhere!