Autism x 6 on Discovery Health

[JESW]

Did anyone watch? A family with 6 children who are all on the autism spectrum. Wow.....I sat with my mouth open through a lot of the show and wondered how they managed to get through their day without giving up. I have ONE kid on the spectrum (ds14 with Asperger's) and there are days when I want to tear my hair out!

here's the link...

http://health.discovery.com/tv/autismx6/tune-in.html

Jill

 

[tazdev3225]

I fell asleep watching it last night. I really wish I had seen the entire show. I have nothing but admiration for that couple. One is hard enough, but 6, and 2 are on the severe end of the spectrum. They are an amazing couple.

 

[Ember]

I was in awe until I read their blog... http://autismbites.com/index.html

From their "About Us" page:

In February 2007 we watched an episode of “Extreme Makeover Home Edition”, we enjoy it as a family to see if the family's story is as tough as our own. The show said that the family, they helped build a new home for, had the most documented Autistic children, five, for one family in the United States. My wife and I looked at each other, we have SIX documented Autistic children. It looks like WE have the most in the country, who knows maybe the world, isn't THAT special?!

The 3 youngest are still in diapers and the 4 and 6 year old are completely non-verbal, they are also our biters (chomp!). We have to put them in backward one piece outfits to keep them from stripping and smearing their poop everywhere. Our 4 year old climbs on, breaks and rips EVERYTHING. His nickname we've given him is “Ammon the Destroyer” (like Conan the Destroyer).

Each day is a challenge, something happens EVERY day. It was recommended that my wife be evaluated. She found out she is borderline clinical depression and has generalized anxiety disorder (we weren't too surprised about that one). We also believe she has fibromyalgia as she has those symptoms too. She is taking Prozac to help her through each day.

We're trying hard to be the best parents our children need. Unfortunately our lack of space (1100 sq. ft. 3 bed, 1 bath, no basement) at home and our finances make it a bit difficult. Our 3 and 4 year olds go to a preschool for Autistic children. The 6, 9 and 10 year olds have an IEP in place for them at their elementary school. The 14 year olds situation is similar at his Jr. High school.

We feel we should be doing more but we're just not sure of what and where to get more help and how to do it all. Last Fall John was no longer able to maintain a job outside the home. "They were just tired on all the time I had to be away from work". John came up with the ideas for this website that is a place where we hope to help other parents of Autistic children and hopefully earn a small income. The progress is slow. But by the grace of God we are hanging in there and hope that our example can help other Autistic parents.

—John and Robin Kirton​

I'm sorry, but they very clearly want, or feel they deserve, to have things handed to them because of their situation. I admire them for holding it together as a family, I really do, but this blatant begging for a free house irritates me regardless of the situation. Having children with issues or having multiples or a whole lot of children is NOT a ticket to freebies. I think it's a little sad that this has become the case.

 

[Silent1CB]

I would have stopped having children. 6 is more than I can handle. Autistic or not.

Obviously they thought it was something they could handle since they kept having them. Healthy or not.

Good luck to them. They seem to be in a bit of a situation now, don't they.

 

[freckles and boo]

I won't judge them. My daughter went through the poop smearing stage when she was three (which was thankfully short-lived!). She still tends to leave a debris trail behind her wherever she goes. She just sheds stuff - toys, socks, crayons, coins, ... Everything must be touched and touched again. I can't let my guard down at all when she is awake because she could end up in the refrigerator to "check the temperature" or on the roof "to look at the clouds" or in a tree "to find nests". We work with her constantly to teach her social norms and acceptable behavior. She requires a lot of supervision even though she is very high functioning and smart. I can't imagine the emotional and mental toll it takes to keep up with several kids, many of whom can't communicate. Yep, it is annoying that they put on their own website that they think they are deserving, but their "normal" has to be skewed. I certainly hope they are signed up for respite care. It might save their sanity.

 

[allison443]

I looked at the website and clicked on the link to the dad's blog. It seems he now has taken a job as a long distance truck driver, driving a tractor trailer, and is away from home for periods of time. That seems like it would be very hard on his wife, especially since on their website they mention the wife has fibromyalgia and depression.
It must be a difficult situation.

 

[KirstenB]

OMG--I don't think I could watch this show. I'm with Freckles and Boo, I can't and won't judge them. Our younger daughter has autism, and we also had to zip her backwards in onesies for jammies until she was nearly 3. Because she also has muscle weakness, we haven't had to worry about her opening the doors and escaping, or the fridge, until very recently.

This family just needs help in many different ways. Respite care, definitely. But also, probably some type of therapy for the parents to help them cope with an unimaginable 24/7 job of watching these kids. The severely autistic kids could benefit from extra help outside the classroom, for speech/communication and OT issues. I don't know how these parents sleep---maybe in shifts? The constant vigilance would be exhausting.

 

[allison443]

This family just needs help in many different ways. Respite care, definitely. But also, probably some type of therapy for the parents to help them cope with an unimaginable 24/7 job of watching these kids. The severely autistic kids could benefit from extra help outside the classroom, for speech/communication and OT issues. I don't know how these parents sleep---maybe in shifts? The constant vigilance would be exhausting.

Well, the dad is not there 24/7. Did you see where it said the father is now traveling away from home as a long-distance trucker? I hope the mom has some help because I cannot imagine her keeping up this constant vigilance by herself.

 

[KirstenB]

Allison, no I didn't see where the dad is driving a truck. Oh man, now I seriously hope there's some type of social services help in caring for these kids. One of my biggest challenges as a parent of an autistic kid, is she has no sense of danger. Forget all the other challenges the mom has to deal with, they have to worry about the physical safety of these kids. That's what jumped out at me most, when I read 6 kids with autism. Hence my comment about constant vigilance.

 

[Aisling]

I was in awe until I read their blog...

I'm sorry, but they very clearly want, or feel they deserve, to have things handed to them because of their situation. I admire them for holding it together as a family, I really do, but this blatant begging for a free house irritates me regardless of the situation. Having children with issues or having multiples or a whole lot of children is NOT a ticket to freebies. I think it's a little sad that this has become the case.

Ember, I thought the same thing as you did when I read the blog. But then, I realized that they're probably feeling overwhelmed and envious because that other family with 5 autistic children was getting help. I don't believe help is owed to them, and I think they might not feel it's "owed" to them either (unlike the Gosselins), but it's just frustration for them. Of course I don't know what's really going through their minds, but the blog screams desperation to me.

 

[princesspiglet]

While I feel for this family I can't help but wonder WTH they were thinking in having 6 kids. After the first two came along and both had autism, I would think as a reasonable person you would STOP having kids. But no, they have a 3rd child less than a year later who also has autism, then they have 3 more in a succession of 3 years! That is ludicrous. Who in their right mind would continue to have kids if you could see that each one prior was autistic???

Just because you have the parts to make the children does not mean you NEED to have them. For Pete's sake, use your brain and not your pp!

 

[EMom]

When I read (paraphrasing), "We didn't know something was going on with our kids until the youngest was one year old," I have to shake my head and wonder. I have a friend whose first child is somewhere on the autism spectrum (truly, most people would never even be able to realize it) and she and her DH figured it out soon enough. Another child has more serious autism issues and they saw that as soon as it manifested. I can see where you might not know EXACTLY what was wrong, but at some point, you'd have to say, "Gee, something is different about our kids," or at a minimum, "Every one of them seems to have some sort of issue. Maybe we should stop short of six since we're in a tiny house and have limited resources."

Affording six perfectly healthy children is beyond the means of most Americans these days. Lose your job and you're a few months away from being a family of 8 on welfare. That's why most people stop before they have six kids. Sure, some have more. But if every single one has some sort of issue, you have limited income, you keep having more and more and your house is teeny, then disaster is not just around the corner......It's peeking in your window. Their actions defy all common sense. They may not have chosen for the kids to have autism, but they did choose to keep having more knowing their financial condition.

If you took the "autistic" aspect out of the equation and just saw a married couple with 6 kids on TV poor-mouthing it about how they only have an 1100 SF house and they can't do any better by themselves, most people would say, "Why did you have six kids if all you could afford was an 1100 SF house?" Some might say, "MY house is 1100 SF and we stopped at 2 kids so we wouldn't be on top of each other." Throwing in the autism angle is adding an emotional element that takes away from the central question: Why do people have more children than they can afford and then expect other people (who have lived within their means) to support them?

I've seen this family in interviews and I do get a vibe of "We have the most autistic kids, so we trump and where are our handouts?" I'll give them credit. They are more subtle about it. But it's there. I had the uneasy feeling that if they needed to have a 7th to "keep the record" they would do it.

 

[Nik's Mom]

Is this the same family who had the Dad asking for a new truck on their blog? Or maybe it was a fancy sports car. I can't remember now, but it was something silly like that. There was a lot of controversy because it seemed they were always asking for freebies a la Jon & Kate plus 8.

I have 2 on the spectrum and I can't imagine having 6. But I won't question their judgement.

Shortly after I had ds#2, ds #1 was diagnosed as being on the spectrum. My Dad basically called me stupid for having a 2nd child when we "knew something was wrong with the first one." It's been several years since then, and my Dad has been dead for nearly 5 years, but that comment still hurts to this day.

But,we will not have any more children. It was such an ordeal to get them diagnosed in the first place. It took 2 years and 3 pediatricians to finally get a proper diagnosis for ds #1.

 

[Minnie_me]

Why would any couple decide to have 6 children in an 1100-square foot house? That's just irresponsible.

They need to stop their whining.

 

[SharpMomOfTwo]

While I feel for this family I can't help but wonder WTH they were thinking in having 6 kids. After the first two came along and both had autism, I would think as a reasonable person you would STOP having kids. But no, they have a 3rd child less than a year later who also has autism, then they have 3 more in a succession of 3 years! That is ludicrous. Who in their right mind would continue to have kids if you could see that each one prior was autistic???

Just because you have the parts to make the children does not mean you NEED to have them. For Pete's sake, use your brain and not your pp!

ITA. I know people who have children with autism. Most of them try their best NOT to have another child because they know what the outcome will probably be. One couple did get pregnant again with their second, and the little boy is deeper in the spectrum than the first who was pretty far off (in?) to begin with.
Truthfully, I think its sad people would do this to themselves / their children. If they really want to have special needs children, they sould look into foster care / adopting ones that need a home. Maybe thats a harsh way to look at it - I mean, I know if I found out that the child I were pregnant with were mentally retarted or something along those lines, I would never terminate the pregnancy - I'd love him/her as much as my first kids, but I would not hope for it to happen again, KWIM?

 

[Silent1CB]

While I feel for this family I can't help but wonder WTH they were thinking in having 6 kids. After the first two came along and both had autism, I would think as a reasonable person you would STOP having kids. But no, they have a 3rd child less than a year later who also has autism, then they have 3 more in a succession of 3 years! That is ludicrous. Who in their right mind would continue to have kids if you could see that each one prior was autistic???

Just because you have the parts to make the children does not mean you NEED to have them. For Pete's sake, use your brain and not your pp!

That's exactly what I was trying to say. I may have just said it nicer & didn't get my point across as well. Direct is better at times.

 

[Nik's Mom]

ITA. I know people who have children with autism. Most of them try their best NOT to have another child because they know what the outcome will probably be. One couple did get pregnant again with their second, and the little boy is deeper in the spectrum than the first who was pretty far off (in?) to begin with.
Truthfully, I think its sad people would do this to themselves / their children. If they really want to have special needs children, they sould look into foster care / adopting ones that need a home. Maybe thats a harsh way to look at it - I mean, I know if I found out that the child I were pregnant with were mentally retarted or something along those lines, I would never terminate the pregnancy - I'd love him/her as much as my first kids, but I would not hope for it to happen again, KWIM?

I'm not trying to pick a fight, but I want to see if I understand what you are saying. As I said a few posts ago, I'm a parent of 2 autistic children. Are you saying that you think it's sad that any parent of a disabled child would choose to get pregnant again? Or are you saying that in regard to the family with 6 children? In my case, I was pregnant when we became concerned with ds#1, who was 2 years old at the time. In our case, we work very hard with our sons to ensure that they will be productive members of society. They are active in sports and school. We travel with them frequently and are often complimented at how polite and well-behaved our boys are.

Just because parents have one disabled child, it does not mean that they should have any more. If the parent in question is financially and emotionally able to care for the 2nd child, I don't see where the problem is. It does become a problem when a family clearly can't provide for their family, as is the case with the family we are discussing.

In my case, I am not sorry that I chose to have a 2nd child. Even if we had known before the pregnancy that our oldest ds was autistic, I'm not sure we would'nt have tried to have baby #2. But we certainly will not have any more children. This world was made for a family of four, in my opinion.

 

[tiggger1]

I'm not trying to pick a fight, but I want to see if I understand what you are saying. As I said a few posts ago, I'm a parent of 2 autistic children. Are you saying that you think it's sad that any parent of a disabled child would choose to get pregnant again? Or are you saying that in regard to the family with 6 children? In my case, I was pregnant when we became concerned with ds#1, who was 2 years old at the time. In our case, we work very hard with our sons to ensure that they will be productive members of society. They are active in sports and school. We travel with them frequently and are often complimented at how polite and well-behaved our boys are.

Just because parents have one disabled child, it does not mean that they should have any more. If the parent in question is financially and emotionally able to care for the 2nd child, I don't see where the problem is. It does become a problem when a family clearly can't provide for their family, as is the case with the family we are discussing.

In my case, I am not sorry that I chose to have a 2nd child. Even if we had known before the pregnancy that our oldest ds was autistic, I'm not sure we would have tried to have baby #2.

I think it is irresponsible for any family to have more children when they cannot provide for the ones they already have. Disabled or not. I am sure that it was well before the 6 child was born that they knew they needed a bigger house or needed for money. Yet they still had more children.

 

[SharpMomOfTwo]

I'm not trying to pick a fight, but I want to see if I understand what you are saying. As I said a few posts ago, I'm a parent of 2 autistic children. Are you saying that you think it's sad that any parent of a disabled child would choose to get pregnant again? Or are you saying that in regard to the family with 6 children? In my case, I was pregnant when we became concerned with ds#1, who was 2 years old at the time. In our case, we work very hard with our sons to ensure that they will be productive members of society. They are active in sports and school. We travel with them frequently and are often complimented at how polite and well-behaved our boys are.

Just because parents have one disabled child, it does not mean that they should have any more. If the parent in question is financially and emotionally able to care for the 2nd child, I don't see where the problem is. It does become a problem when a family clearly can't provide for their family, as is the case with the family we are discussing.

In my case, I am not sorry that I chose to have a 2nd child. Even if we had known before the pregnancy that our oldest ds was autistic, I'm not sure we would have tried to have baby #2.

First of all, I will not fight with anyone who has a pic of Moon the Loon as their avitar!!!
Anyway, as you said yourself, after having your first autistic child, you don't know if you would have tried for another knowing the chances of the second (and third, forth, fifth, sixth, etc.) having the same outcome. I know another couple that had their first child, knew SOMETHING (they didn't know what yet) was wrong with her, and got pregnant again. They found out about her issues (I don't remember what they were, but shes pretty severly retarted, and has deformaties), before her brother was born, and thankfully #2 was perfectly normal, but again, you just never know. I supose your right about if the family has the financial and mental ability to have more autistic children, then whats the problem, but to me (and just me) I feel like why not adopt an high needs child if thats what you want? I mean, I guess you could then say, Why should anyone have a child at all - just adopt! And in a way, thats true too.... I don't know, there are no right or wrong answers here. I'm in no way putting you down, or anyone else in your situation, but for this couple, and this couple alone, truthfully, I just don't understand why they kept going??? Not only is it not fair to themselves, its not fair to the kids. People with austic children say that it takes a lot if not all of their attention to care for them - and now they are spreading themselves between 6 autistic children - are they really getting all the attention they need - KWIM?? Again, I didn't see the program, so I don't really know anything about them, just what I read on here, but I almost equate them to the Duggars.

Anyway, were going to see Roger Daultry in concert in November. No Moon, or Entwistle, or even Townshend, but hopefully he will rock!!

 

[luckymom4]

Niks Mom, kudos to you. I know people who have children on the spectrum, so I know how hard it can be to instill manners. Congrats on your well behaved boys!