Wednesday September 5th (Continued)
When we were fighting the traffic on our way to the Kualoa Ranch this morning, DW commented that with all this congestion, we had not seen any highway patrol or local cops. I knew when she said it that it was probably the kiss of death and I was correct. On our way back to Aulani, we were traveling on Interstate H-3 at the posted speed limit of 60 mph. We were nearing the point where we turned off of H-3 onto H-1. I glanced down at the GPS to see if I could tell how much further and when I looked up, there were 2 motorcycle cops sitting under the overpass. I looked at my speedometer and I was going 60 mph. I was behind two other cars going the same speed. The next thing I know, there were flashing lights behind me! I really thought he was after someone else but nope, hes waving for me to pull over
License and registration please. Do you know how fast you were going? said the mo-po.
Heres my drivers license officer. I dont have any registration papers. This is a rental car. As for how fast I was going, I think I was going 60 like the speed limit says but I wont swear to anything. Ive been confused and lost on these roads since the day we got here. I was looking for the turn to H-1.
Well Mr. Browning, you were going 60 in a 45 mph zone. The speed limit is reduced back there to slow people down when they approach the H-1 intersection.
Okay officer, I guess I was looking at the GPS trying to see where to turn and I didnt see the change in speed limit. We are here on our 30th anniversary. Is there any way you can give me a warning and not a ticket?
No sir. I cant do that.
Do you know how much the ticket is going to be officer? Things have been more expensive than we anticipated on this trip? said in the most pitiful voice I could muster.
It states on the back of the ticket that it will be $147. There is an address there also.
Alright officer. Is there anything I else I need to do? again, in a whipped puppy dog voice.
I guess he felt sorry for me because he then said, You can write the judge and ask for leniency but I cannot promise anything. Because you are a tourist, he might charge just court cost, he might waive the ticket all together or he might say you owe the entire amount. All you can do is try.
Thanks officer. Ill write and see what happens. said with a small glimmer of hope.
Have a good day Mr. Browning. Mahalo.
Sighhhhh
my luck continues. I blame it on Garmin. If the GPS would have been in American miles instead of that crappy European kilometer mess, I might have seen the speed limit sign instead of trying to convert the distance while driving! Thats my story anyway and Im sticking to it!
It was kind of quiet in the car for a little while. DW wasnt saying ANYTHING, trying not to burst out laughing. I was already formulating in my mind the sob-story letter that I would send to the judge. After a few miles, I realized nothing was being said.
To break the ice (or perhaps to make it colder) I told DW, You know its your fault. You just had to jinx us this morning by saying we havent seen any police.
DW responded, I was hoping you wouldnt remember that but I knew this would end up somehow being my fault.
Well, its either you or Garmin and I cant get anything back from Garmin. I snarkily replied.
Yeah, well, you keep that attitude and Garmin isnt the only thing you won't get anything from! was her head-bobbing retort. 
We interrupt this TR to inform you that the sequence of events after being stopped for a ticket did
NOT happen this way. It
WOULD have happened that way if I had taken that path but you learn a few things after 30 years of marriage about what you can say and get away with and what you had better keep to yourself! Not that I always heed my own advice and quite often I put my mouth in gear before engaging my brain.
However, this time it was brain before mouth. The conversation, after a bit of silence, went something like this
Well, isnt that special! in my best SNL Dana Carvey Church Lady voice.
And then to lighten the mood more, I sing-songd a favorite of mine from the old TV series Hee-Haw
Gloom despair and agony on me.
Deep dark depression, excessive misery.
If it werent for bad luck Id have no luck at all.
Gloom despair and agony on me.
That did the trick. DW couldnt hold it in any longer. She burst out laughing. And then I added another favorite saying of mine, Why is it you get such great pleasure and laughter out of when bad things happen to me?
Its true. She will laugh her head off if I stub my toe, get a cramp in my leg, trip over the dog or just do something stupid. She claims its because of the weird faces I make or the way I react. I think its because I do something wrong so seldom, that it delights her to be reminded that Im not Mr. Perfect. Yup, that too is my story and Im sticking to it too!
Well, after no more surprises during our drive back to Aulani, we arrive safe and sound. We have dinner reservations for 7:15pm at Roys. I read about Roys here on the DISboards. There are six Roys restaurants located throughout the islands. This one is very close to Aulani and within walking distance. Id say about as far as walking from the entrance at EPCOT to the American pavilion. This Roys is actually located at the Ko Olina Golf Club. If you want a special night out and can fit it into the budget, you must eat here. It was very nice. I would compare it in quality and ambiance to Bistro de Paris or Jikos. If I had to choose between Ama Ama and Roys, Id pick Roys every time. Here is a copy of the dinner menu.
Sorry, no food porn pics, but DW had the Chablis pear salad, Hoisin grilled lamb chops and a pineapple cake. I had the Prixe Fixe menu and chose the fusion sampler (includes blackened Ahi, chicken spring roll and Mongolian baby back ribs), the Hibachi grilled salmon and the macadamia nut tart. Im here to tell you
that was the best salmon I have ever had
anywhere... and that includes what was the previous best I ever had at Wilderness Lodges Artist Point. It was that good! The entire meal was superb. I liked it even more by the fact that even though the restaurant is located at a golf resort country club, it was very laid back and not snooty at all. I understand the need for proper decorum in certain settings but some nicer restaurants can have an attitude that is not appealing. This was not the case at Roys. I highly recommend it to anyone.
We were chatting with the couple at the table next to us and our waiter must have overheard us telling them we were celebrating our 30th anniversary because he brought us a special dessert not on the menu the chefs passion fruit mousse! SCORE! It was funny because when the waiter brought out the dessert and wished us happy anniversary, the woman at the table next to us made the comment that they were celebrating their anniversary and didnt get anything special. I guess he either didnt know or it was the fact that they had a bit of an attitude but he wasnt planning on bringing them anything special. Now he had to and shortly thereafter, they too received the same dessert. They kind of reminded me of the TV series Friends episode where Monica and Chandler were on their honeymoon and another couple kept getting compd and upgraded because they were on their honeymoon. Monica and Chandler kept saying to everyone that they were on their honeymoon to get special treatment and it never happened. Oh well
Cest la vie!
We finished off our dining experience with a pot of Earl Grey tea and left feeling very content and very satisfied.
I didnt notice any kiosk to sell you a change of clothes or provide paper towels/toilet paper to assist you once you came to a complete stop. Hawaiis DOT is missing a money making opportunity because in that hilly terrain, if your vehicles brakes fail and you have to use the escape ramp, you WILL need something to clean up with and a change of clothes! 
Dont get me wrong, I use chopsticks when we eat sushi, sashimi or teriyaki and I am fairly adept at using them but come on people, eating baby back ribs with chopsticks?!? 
To make their dining experience more adventurous was the fact that everyplace we had ribs during this trip, they were not the falling off the bone kind I am accustomed to having. These required a well-known technique called gnawing (no explanation necessary as to avoid any ewwwwws from the reading audience). Nevertheless, I thought I would share that tidbit of epicurean cognition.
More on that in the next post.
