Atkins: friends against the plan?

[Beastlover]

I hate to bring this up, but this is really aggrevating me. I am probably whining to the wrong people, but maybe you all could put this in perspective. A little history:
I have a friend--a best friend for 28 years (1st grade!!!) when she was in college she was anorexic. I understand her weight issues are different than mine. For most of my life, I was within my weight standards, and for quite a few years, I was what I call "ideal". Past 6 years I have slid up the scales.
Well, when I decided to go Atkins, I chose not to tell anybody, but my DH, for fear it would be another diet that would not work for me. I was so excited about the rapid loss, and the increase in my energy, that after I lost 11 lbs in induction, I told her about it. She was skeptical, and told me to be careful. I took it with a grain of salt, and moved on. Well, everytime we talked about my loss, she would always ask me "well, how do you feel?" and I would be like, great! She would insist on questioning me about if I was sure, or I sound tired, or whatever. I finally shut her up by telling her "awful, I'm gaining it all back!" I mean reallly, how often do you have to hear "how do you feel?" before you snap? We have been at parties and when people tell me how great I look, and ask how I have done it, she chimes in with something to make fun of the plan! Well, today was the straw that broke the camel's back...my hair is coming out, after my showers. Could be stress, I started a new job last week, my 19 DD moved home from FL, and we are all adjusting to that, alzheimer mom, etc....she brings up that my hair was falling out because "you know michelle, you have made a drastic health change and that will cause your body to respond...I am really worried about you, people have gotten sick on that plan"....I told her that I have never eaten better in my life, how much more protein and vegetables can a person eat?
Do you notice how ignorant people are about the plan? They all think it is about meat, cheese, and butter.....eat as much as you want!
Also, do you notice how people try to hold you back, when you are feeling success, and feeling great, just so they can be the "thin" one????
I am feeling like a lifelong friendship is being ruined....how do you handle people like this?

 

[Rhonda]

I guess I would just tell her: "All I've done is cut processed flours and sugars and starches out of my diet. How is that not healthy?" Then, just leave it alone. She'll eventually just see how good you're feeling and how you're losing weight and she'll figure it out.

It's not worth losing a friendship over - so don't push anything about the diet on her. Just let her see for herself.

 

[JustMe28]

I'm sorry that your friend is giving you such a tough time. Do you think that maybe she is just jealous? Sometimes (alot of times) people just can't stand to see someone change. I guess they get use to you being a certain way and when you change then they try and sabatoge you, and perhaps in your case, she is doing this by downing your program. But, in my opinion she just sounds jealous. Set your friend down and discuss this with her. If you think she'd respond, tell her how she is hurting you by making fun of your plan, etc. I hope this helps you. Good Luck!! {{{hugs}}}

 

[Mickey527]

I can understand how you feel, my DR thinks the plan is great and he is very encouraging. The nurses that I work with do nothing but comment on how terrible Atkins is and how eveyone they know that did this diet has gotten sick.
But in their defense they are all quick to tell me how great I look.
Itry to explain it is not a diet but a new way of eating. They see me enjoying salads, and all the other great foods I bring in for lunch, and some of them even eat the same things I eat. The big difference is that at the staff meeting they are drinking coffee loaded with sugar and eating bagels and coffee cake. I have my decaffinated Chai tea with Splenda and no desire for the junk. They try and tempt me and can't understand when I tell them have no cravings for sugar anymore. I would much rather chew on a few slices of pepperoni and some sharp cheese than eat that cake.
I feel better, I got through all of the summer without my asthma acting up and sending me to the DR. I made it through all of September without my yearly sinus infection due to the seasonal allergies. I have the energy to work 48 to 56 hours a week while all of them are exhausted during their 24 to 32 hour weeks and can't wait to get home. Need I say more? Tell your friend that you are happy with your choices and if she can't support you then just hold her tongue. Peggie

 

[Lynn CC]

I would agree with Rhonda. Just tell her your not eating processed foods instead of saying Atkins Diet.
I have a friend who has been struggling with Anorexia all her life too, it's not really a good subject to talk about with them. Try to change the subject to save your friendship! Good, Long term friends are hard to come by these days

 

[Beastlover]

Thanks for the kind words!! I know it is not worth losing a great friend over, I was just feeling down. We all have those days!!

She has a great body, and I did once, too. (and will soon!!) I do think she loved getting the attention that we once shared, when we were out. I understand, because while I started to gain, she would always rub in what size she was, and I was jealous of her.

You're right, I feel the best bet is to not share with her my success, let her notice it, and when we are together, and she bashes my plan, to just kindly ask her to stop. She is a kind and caring person, she just gets carried away sometimes.

Thanks for listening to me rant and rave. I feel better now!!

You are the best!!!!

 

[webray]

I would say your friend is jealous. A true friend should support you no matter what.

I would call her on it...ask her why she is so negative...and then move on, with or without her support.

 

[nativetxn]

I, too, believe your friend may be jealous. You must remember that the medical establishment treated Atkins as the devil for over 30 years. It's going to take a while to overcome the bad rep based on nothing but "opinions".

Here is my confession: I believed that Atkins would kill you. My sister wanted me to start Atkins with her and my reply was exactly that, "Atkins will kill you." She replied that it won't kill you in three months and to try it for three months.

I started researching the plan on my own, using the internet. In Atkins book he has lots of footnotes for all of the studies he has used to justify his belief that Atkins is healthy. I went to the web and read the studies myself and guess what I learned? Atkins <i>won't</i> kill you.

So, a good reply for your friend would be to ask her if she has researched the Atkins plan because you <i>have</i> and you think it is a healthy way of eating. If you <i>haven't</i> done research on Atkins, you really should. Everyone should be informed about their eating plan.

So, ask her if she has researched it and if she has not, suggest that she do a little research before condemning it based on someone elses "opinion". Then remind her that you would never willingly do anything to harm yourself. She has known you for a long time, she should know that is true.

This isn't worth losing a long held friendship, if she continues to denigrate your eating plan just try to either ignore her, change the subject or just flat out ask her to stop doing it. Tell her you need her support not more self doubt. Remind her that <i>she</i> overcame an eating disorder and that you are trying to do the same thing, and have chosen the plan that works best for <i>you</i> to accomplish that.

BTW, does she always look rested? Her hair never comes out? I hope you can work this out with her.

 

[froglady]

I am on WW, but DO limit (not eliminate) my starches, such as bread, rice, potatoes, etc. I DO eat whole wheat products, brown rice, and lots of fruits and veggies. My hair also started to come out in clumps! My doctor told me that it was a normal response to losing a certain % of your body weight. Your metabolism goes into starvation mode, and cuts out some of the non-vital functions, such as hair and nails. She said that it would stop once I "stabilized" at my desired weight, and she was absolutely right. Your skin shouldn't suffer, unless you aren't keeping hydrated. My skin actually looks nicer than it has in years, and people have complimented me on how nice it is. (which never happened before) My adult acne has completely disappeared.

As others have mentioned, most people think that the Atkins diet is the induction diet, and that's the way you have to eat FOREVER. Anyone who has actually researched it knows that there's more to it than that.

 

[Beastlover]

Thanks for all your support!! Wow!!

I think she is jealous...I will be ready to confront her on it when she tries to down it next time. I don't want to lose her friendship over an eating plan. I feel great and that is all that matters.

Nativetxn--no, she doesn't look rested, she looks older than me (sorry, but true) and her hair does come out, but because of her thyroid problem. Really...but mine is because of my "diet"....aarrgghh! I just have such a racket with her right now, but I still love her to death!!

Anyway, thanks for listening and offering the wonderful words!!

 

[JustMe28]

Beastlover,

I came back to see if there was an update yet. I'm hoping everything works out good for you -- true friends are so valuable, even if they are jealous. *giggles* Take care and I'll be thinking about you. {{hugs}}

 

[RUDisney]

You can tell your best friend that my best friend is a doctor and she says that Atkins is a wonderful lifestyle.

I had to laugh at some things that have happened since DH and I started. When I am around nay-sayers, I am fully loaded with ammo. I have read the book. I know the big words, like lipolysis and ketosis to drop on them. I can explain what happens physiologically that causes your fat to burn instead of the carbs. When they hear how knowledgable I am, they back right off.

My DH, OTOH, knows what he wants to know, and knows that it's working for both of us. He has no defense when his friends and customers counter him with the "Atkins will kill you" line. Do you know how many of them that have friends of friends who were perfectly healthy until they started Atkins? So many that it's funny. See how urban legends prosper? He has even had his customers call the house and leave messages that he shouldn't eat what I make him for dinner... he should go out for some pasta, so he'll stay healthy.

So, you're not alone in having to listen to this. It is the people who have never researched Atkins and only know about it through hearsay that disagree with it. Every doctor I know has said that they think it's a wonderful and healthy diet plan for life.