At my wits end with DD.... and grades

[aLLpInK]

I have to vent and I dont know where else to go at this point.
My DD 7 (2nd grade) is an A Honor student, but this last 9 weeks every week she had brought home an F! Not all in the same subj. Her teacher tells me she thinks shes just tuning her out and that she is ready for summer, and to please tell her its not summer break yet! I have been on her every week about listening, paying attention. She uses excuses like ppl are talking or the teacher didnt explain it- but i know thats not true!! She has told me before that she daydreams about Disney World (yes we are taking our first trip at the end of school) Im thinking..is she so excited about Disney that she cant concentrate in school?! Shes known about the trip since January and she got all A's that semester. I know its getting closer but im just wondering if its that or shes just using that for an excuse. Im in tears about this right now. I think she has C averages in two of her classes now.

I just got an email from her teacher that she just made another bad grade on commas and that she had examples on the board and that everyone else did good on it. (cry)

 

[dizneechic]

I too have a G&T 2nd grader who at this point in the year really starts to tune out. What we've started to do in reward the good grades/notes with money to be used while at Disney.

We have up a chart and he can earn .25 every day for a good note from school (teacher is in on this with us), as well as .25 daily for other tasks on the chart. If we have a perfect week he would earn 1.75 but I toss in a bonus .25 so its 2.00 per week per task. All of my kids are really money motivated so this is working out well, and their "spending money" is for what ever they choose which I think is also very exciting fro them. I told them if they want slushies 5x a day and they buy it, they can do it!

Sorry to hear your dd is struggling now, but if it's a daydreaming issue maybe something similar will work since she would be working towards what she's dreaming about. My DS had no issue correcting his behavior once he had an incentive to do so.

 

[mjkacmom]

I'm having a similar issue with ds12. Up until 4th grade, he never had less than an A. He's always had focusing issues, but when I discussed medication with his teachers every year, they said that because his grades were good, and there were no behavior issues, there was no need. They would put him off on his own sometimes, especially during testing.

He got a few B's in 4th and 5th, no biggy. However, this year he's been getting B's in classes he shouldn't. I met with his teacher, and she said it's 100% focusing and making stupid mistakes. He understands the material, but forgets to have me sign his workpacket, or threw out the written part of his one minute speech (supposed to turn it in), or forgot to show his work (actually erased it), or forgot there was a test (if he studies 10 minutes, he gets 100's).

He has a high IQ, tested into the GT program, and gets advanced proficient on state testing. The lowest grade on his report card so far is a B, because even though he might get a D for dumb reasons, he still gets a lot of A+'s. His teacher agrees that it is now time to medicate, before JH, because these issues just get worse with harder work.

I'm not saying your dd had ADHD, but maybe your teacher could work with her with paying attention. Limit distractions, keep an eye on her to see if she stays on task. Remind her to check her work. Let you know, right away, if there is a bad grade. Use positive reinforcement (ds's teachers would put a happy face or a sad face each day in his agenda pad). Good luck!

 

[InkspressYourself]

Whenever my dd's grades start to slip, I take away all tv, computer, electronics Monday thru Thursday.

Do you think that could motivate your dd?

I know it's frustrating, good luck.

 

[cogero]

Whenever my dd's grades start to slip, I take away all tv, computer, electronics Monday thru Thursday.

Do you think that could motivate your dd?

I know it's frustrating, good luck.

This is what I do too

 

[Stacieb]

This happened to my DD back in 2nd grade also.. Do you think something or someone is bothering her? I didn't find out until she broke down one day while I was helping her do her homework.. I thought you can do this work, then she said to me that a girl in her class was bulling her.. Once I got that under control her grades came back up..

 

[aLLpInK]

Thanks for the suggestions. Im going to try some of them and We will be removing the tv from the bedroom.

Her teacher just emailed me again telling me she made a 100 on her reading test today. She said shes one of her best students and it seems like a case of "spring fever". I know she is burnt out, i remember the feeling. Its just different when its OUR kids.

 

[Duckyiam71]

I feel your pain. My DS 10 is "tuning" out now because he is getting bored. We live in TX and they have already taken their TAKS testing so my son knows nothing else matters now. Kind of sad. But I agree, bad grades means lose of privelages. Some of his bad grades are for sloppiness so I make him rewrite the work as well. But on the flip side we celebrate the good grades too. Since we are going to DW, he has an incentive...$10 for A's, $5 for B's but he has to have good behavior marks too. Good luck!

 

[aLLpInK]

I feel your pain. My DS 10 is "tuning" out now because he is getting bored. We live in TX and they have already taken their TAKS testing so my son knows nothing else matters now. Kind of sad. But I agree, bad grades means lose of privelages. Some of his bad grades are for sloppiness so I make him rewrite the work as well. But on the flip side we celebrate the good grades too. Since we are going to DW, he has an incentive...$10 for A's, $5 for B's but he has to have good behavior marks too. Good luck!

Do you reward per graded paper or per grade report??

 

[robinb]

Are you making sure she has a good breakfast before school?

 

[aLLpInK]

She is a good b'fast eater and eats b'fast at school every morning. I have family in the school that keep an eye on her and tells me everyting she eats. LOL I know that is key to a good day

 

[MaumeeMom]

Welcome to the club. Our DS12yo is also in the G&T program and has decided to go on Summer break early. It happens every year. He gets bored and tunes out. As a rule, he does not have electronics on school days. If he gets into trouble we take away electronics on the weekends (which is where we are now). We also use boy scouts as a reward - bad grades? no BS camping trip. We have to keep on top of him and keep him challenged. He does extra credit work that is for the upper grades (he is in 6th doing 8th grade math).

You just have to find the sticks and carrots that work for your DD. Maybe link it to Disney - for every "A" she gets on her report card she can have $2 towards a snack or souvenir.

Good luck!

PS: "Electronics" includes everything from TV and Wii to Game Boy and MP3 player. He does not have a phone, but if he did it would be gone too.

 

[badblackpug]

Ahhh..."summeritis!" Maybe try some consequences for not doing her work or paying attention? Or make her ablity tp play/computer/TV contingent upon a "good" report from the teacher?

 

[MSSANDRA]

Remember (but do not tell her), that 2nd grade grades mean nothing in the long run!!

When she applies to Havard, they will have no clue she had a c or even an F in 2nd grade.

However, you do not want her to get into the I do not care attitude! I bet she is just board ( a lot of the last month is review), ready for vacation, and ready for WDW.

I would hold her to paying attention, and turning in all work and just lay back a little bit as the teacher does not seem overly concerned.

Maybe a daily chart with the teacher with a reward, consiquence buit into paying attention and getting the work done???

 

[badblackpug]

...or (and I'm not a fan of bribery, but, whatever works!) you could say you will give her a dollar a day for WDW spending money for every day she has a good report from the teacher.

 

[Taja]

Uh, oh! I think I recognize myself!

I was bored in school from second grade on. First grade was a bit of a novelty, but it wore off quickly! *LOL* I was several years ahead of my classmates when I started school, so there was very little to learn except social skills.

Not an answer for you, but I was involved in ballet and, because we travelled throughout the year, we frequently had a tutor (much like children in television or film, but a much smaller scale)--and I loved it! We constantly were challenged. Each age group had set requirements, but most of us exceeded the maximum requirements by two or more years.

Can you work out something with your DD to keep her focused? It could be called bribery, coersion, parenting... Tie results to consequences. Good results (you define them) = special privileges. Several good results = 1 special privilege (staying up a little later on a weekend night, helping make a special meal--you know what she enjoys). Poor results = loss of privileges or extra chores. My parents were good about finding extra things for me to do around the house--they both worked and their philosophy was that anyone who lived in the house had to help maintain it! *LOL* My thoughts on additional privileges is to avoid tying them to anything monetary, if at all possible. But you could give her a bonus of a little extra money or option to select first attraction in a park on your WDW visit if she does extremely well. Just don't mention it to her--it would be a surprise bonus!

BTW, I was eligible to graduate from high school at 14. Thankfully, my parents had a lot of common sense and required that I reamain in school (part-time) until I was 16. Transportation was an issue until I was old enough to have a driver's license, but so were social skills. Not to mention that colleges and universities really did not want young students in those days!

 

[momof1princess]

to the OP. i know your pain. my DD12 made A's and B's the first two 9 weeks of the school year and got inducted into the beta club-well, 3rd 9 weeks, she makes a C in science, so she's put on probation (she's got an A in there now) and surprise! 4th 9 weeks comes along, and she's got a D in math right now! this is a subject she's made A's in all year! she's going to have to spend birthday money to buy items for charity for bonus points (i hate that teachers do this, but on the flip side, and yes, i know it's hypocritical, i don't want her kicked out of the beta club). and work her behind off the rest of the year. she made a 75 on yesterday's test, even though she studied for 2 days....i'm so frustrated, i don't know what to do!

 

[SunnieRN]

This may sound far fetched, but has she had an eye exam? Also, where in the class does she sit? If she were front and center, it would be very easy for the teacher to touch her on the shoulder, or get her attention when she is drifting.

HGood luck and I hope things get easier!