At home work ideas for DH

[cari12]

Dh is off work on disability. He has a hernia and because his work is physical, he is off. He does not even get in to talk to the surgeon until mid March and then there is the wait for surgery. He could be off at least 6 months, probably more. He is has his work disability insurance so he is not without income. My concern is that he will just sit around and play Wii. He does not do a lot of housework and does not really cook so I know it will drive me crazy if he justs sits around the whole time while I am working full-time and then have to come home to all the house stuff. Any ideas? If he was doing something, anything productive then things would go a lot smoother.

 

[dfchelbay]

Dh is off work on disability. He has a hernia and because his work is physical, he is off. He does not even get in to talk to the surgeon until mid March and then there is the wait for surgery. He could be off at least 6 months, probably more. He is has his work disability insurance so he is not without income. My concern is that he will just sit around and play Wii. He does not do a lot of housework and does not really cook so I know it will drive me crazy if he justs sits around the whole time while I am working full-time and then have to come home to all the house stuff. Any ideas? If he was doing something, anything productive then things would go a lot smoother.

If he feels good enough to play Wii, he's healthy enough to clean up and cook. If he's sitting at home, he should be making dinner everyday and keeping the house clean. Sorry, but I wouldn't jeopardize my disability benefits and going back to my job by getting another job in the interim. Sorry if it sounds harsh, but tough sh*$ that he doesn't want to do housework...too bad. He's home, he should do it. Same with nightly dinner...his job while he's just sitting around the house.

 

[mrudman]

If he feels good enough to play Wii, he's healthy enough to clean up and cook. If he's sitting at home, he should be making dinner everyday and keeping the house clean. Sorry, but I wouldn't jeopardize my disability benefits and going back to my job by getting another job in the interim. Sorry if it sounds harsh, but tough sh*$ that he doesn't want to do housework...too bad. He's home, he should do it. Same with nightly dinner...his job while he's just sitting around the house.

I agree with this 100%.

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

If he feels good enough to play Wii, he's healthy enough to clean up and cook. If he's sitting at home, he should be making dinner everyday and keeping the house clean. Sorry, but I wouldn't jeopardize my disability benefits and going back to my job by getting another job in the interim. Sorry if it sounds harsh, but tough sh*$ that he doesn't want to do housework...too bad. He's home, he should do it. Same with nightly dinner...his job while he's just sitting around the house.

I also agree with this 100%. There are plenty of things he can do that won't aggrivate his hernia.

He can load the washer and dryer very easily, even if he can't carry a laundry basket around. We have a small bar stool in the kitchen that I sit on to wash dishes, get him one to sit on while he cooks, if he can't stand up for long periods. I have arthritis in one knee nad the opposite ankle and have to sit between sweeping each room, he can do that. There are plenty of little things that can make a huge difference.

Suzanne

 

[lizabu]

I agree that he should keep the house up and cook so you can work. I used to sell things on eBay and it's something anyone can do. I used to go to Goodwill and auctions and buy old toys and other collectables in perfect shape and sell them to collectors. My best sale was a box of crayola crayons from 1980 that I bought for $1 at a junk shop and sold on eBay for $63, You don't have to be an expert. Just buy things you remember from your child hood (Little people, weebles, fisher price) that are in mint condition (original packaging is even better). It can be fun to go to thrift shops and auctions and dig through bins of junk to find a hidden treasure.

 

[Minnie M6]

Is there not a surgeon who could see him sooner? At the very least, I would ask to be put on a cancellation list with the current surgeon, so that he will get a call if they have a cancellation before his appt.

 

[MyDizneyBoyz]

Give him a "honey do" list of all those little things that have been piling up...

- change the batteries in the smoke detectors
- change any burnt out lightbulbs
- any paint or trim touchups needed around the place?
- hang pictures you've been putting off
- any plumbing or wiring projects

While I agree that it would be nice to have your DH help with the mundane, "maintain the status quo" stuff, perhaps there are other things that are in your "to be done" queue that he can actually feel motivated about as opposed to feeling imposed upon. I'm sure he feels pretty lousy about being stuck at home so give him a list of things that might involve a trip to Home Depot... that always keeps my DH happy and gets stuff done.

Whatever keeps peace in the family!

 

[cari12]

Give him a "honey do" list of all those little things that have been piling up...

- change the batteries in the smoke detectors
- change any burnt out lightbulbs
- any paint or trim touchups needed around the place?
- hang pictures you've been putting off
- any plumbing or wiring projects

While I agree that it would be nice to have your DH help with the mundane, "maintain the status quo" stuff, perhaps there are other things that are in your "to be done" queue that he can actually feel motivated about as opposed to feeling imposed upon. I'm sure he feels pretty lousy about being stuck at home so give him a list of things that might involve a trip to Home Depot... that always keeps my DH happy and gets stuff done.

Whatever keeps peace in the family!

I do like this idea! I'm sure I can come up with a bunch of things.
Cooking dinner is not a huge issue as I am home at 4:00pm and DH does not know how to cook very well. I really do not want to eat Mac'n'Cheese every night!

 

[kelcoppens]

Cari, I couldve written your post!! My DH is laid off too but just for the winter, he is going back in March. I have the same exact concerns as you! So luckily we live in PA and we are getting slammed with snow and he did get a job doing snow removal. But on the days it isnt snowing, I give him a honey-do list every day. It involves laundry, running the dishwasher, grocery shopping, vacumming, dusting. Each day, I put about 4 to 5 different things on the list because he is also watching our 6 month old. He has been doing some things and it seriously does help when I come home from work and the house is cleaner, laundry folded, dishes clean, etc.

If you have kids in daycare, I would definitely save money and have your DH watch them. He should be able to do that at least!

 

[Cindy B]

I don't understand if he can play wii, he can't cook or clean? The honey do list would drive my DH nuts, he would rather cook and clean than do a complete honey do list.

 

[jedijohn]

Let him enjoy his vacation. Opportunities to just enjoy life don't come around too often. You might consider upgrading his Wii to a PS3 so he can play some real games.

 

[momx2]

Let him enjoy his vacation. Opportunities to just enjoy life don't come around too often. You might consider upgrading his Wii to a PS3 so he can play some real games.

Yeah, right! Does she get to quit her job and sit at home and enjoy life also! OP, your DH needs to learn how to do the laundry and cook while he is unemployed.

 

[azdisneylover]

I agree with other posters your hubby should do more around the house, maybe he can find some recipes to try online. As for working online, how about checking out the threads on wahm.com, have his play games to earn points on swagbucks or winster to turn into gift cards. If he is going to play something, he should get something for it to use later.
Good luck to your hubby with the upcoming surgery.

 

[luvdisney00]

When I was growing up my Dad always had a 2nd job to make extra money and never did much around the house, my Mom was a SAHM. Well when my Dad was in his 50's he retired early due to a medical condition, and by this point Mom had a job and was working. Even though he had never done any of it before (didn't even know how) he learned to cook and keep to a routine around the house doing laundry, grocery shopping, cleaning errands etc.. I was married and out of he house by this time and my brother was in college. My Mom used to work close to home and would come home for lunch and he would have it all ready and they would eat together and then she would go back to work and he would do the dishes and start dinner.

Growing up I never would have believed this could happen, my parents had such stereo-typed roles. Believe me if my Dad could learn to do it, anyone can!

You need to lay this all out with your DH in a calm way and let him know that you both have to contribute and that you can't work FT and do everything around the house. Good Luck! Hope it all goes smoothly!

 

[NWOhioAngela]

Dh is off work on disability. He has a hernia and because his work is physical, he is off. He does not even get in to talk to the surgeon until mid March and then there is the wait for surgery. He could be off at least 6 months, probably more. .

six MONTHS?!?! That cannot be right. My hubby had an open surgical repair for a difficult bilateral hernia repair and it was 6 weeks. I can't imagine how it could be 6 months, or that any disability plan would pay that long.

 

[GoofyBaby]

Let him enjoy his vacation. Opportunities to just enjoy life don't come around too often. You might consider upgrading his Wii to a PS3 so he can play some real games.

Ummm, no. I don't disagree with you that it's good to find time to enjoy life, but he still needs to pull his weight, which he can do without aggravating his hernia. He can find time to cook and clean and THEN enjoy the Wii after the chores are done.

 

[Dismom55]

Talk to him, let him know how you feel and that you do expect him to do chores that need doing while you are at work. It is the least he should do. I also agree about calling the surgeons office, get on a waiting list for an earlier appt and if need be call them every day and bug them or if possible find another doctor. How many of us really can afford to be off work that long without taking a real hit in the wallet.

Most important, talk to him about your concerns.

 

[momof3girls6712]

I found out about ChaCha a few years ago here on Disboards. It has been great for my family. We use the income to supplement what we both make. You can use me a reference if ms_cold_ember@yahoo.com (make sure you type the underscores). You get paid per question, but it does add up. You can sign up at http://becomeaguide.chacha.com/

 

[crisi]

Working and bringing in cash could impact his disability payments. When my brother in law was on disability, his checks were reduced by the income he brought in when he was able to work at whatever he could work at. A friend of mine used to be a private detective whose business was disability fraud - you got it - finding people who were on disability and holding a job (or going fishing, or playing softball).

Know the terms of his payments before you have him go make any money. Insurance companies are often sticklers for that sort of thing. What you see as "making a little extra money doing something he could do, and he only makes 2/3s of his income on disability" they may see as criminal fraud.

 

[cari12]

six MONTHS?!?! That cannot be right. My hubby had an open surgical repair for a difficult bilateral hernia repair and it was 6 weeks. I can't imagine how it could be 6 months, or that any disability plan would pay that long.

The wait times for non life threatening surgery can be long here in Canada and the insurance companies know that. A few years ago DH's father waited 9 months for hernia surgery although he is retired and was not missing work. If the waits are excessive perhaps the insurance company can pay a private clinic to do it sooner if that would be cheaper than paying disability benefits longer. Not sure if they do that. The insurance company told my husband he would probably wait at least 3 months after the surgeon appt.