eh. it wasn't about me, I can tell you that. My mother had health problems. I was shuttled around between my parents, grandparents, babysitter, and sometimes my older brothers. My grandmother had a pretty big influence on me. Her major role was teaching me how to clean, style my hair and makeup and keep my weight down. Yes, I have issues. To this day, I feel like I don't have agency to choose how I spend my free time, and I also feel inadequate in so many ways. All that said, my grandmother loved me and this is the way she showed it.
I started going to therapy about 6 months ago....I'm in my 50's. So, probably should have done this sooner.