Are you judgmental

[NFLDERS]

Or is your SO?

I'm still working on a bit of *judgment towards tatooed individuals, sorry.

Parents whom free range their children to a degree where I think is too free. Yet, I was one of the out the door in the am, and come in for Dinner raised child.

Edited: *To clarify it isn't tatoos in general, it's when my server or the restaurant cook has them.

 

[mousefanmichelle]

I guess as I get older it seems I am. I think it is mostly to new parents to be honest. Their new fangled ideas about co-sleeping, being there for every single thing at school and not letting the child breathe, for the word kiddos and preggers to just name a few lol!

 

[Hikergirl]

Yes, everyone is to a certain extent.

 

[soccerdad72]

Sure, yeah, it's just natural to judge. Not all judgements are bad, mind you.

 

[MamaBelle4]

I am more than I like to admit. I don't want to be but I don't think you can avoid having that snap judgment or thought of someone.

With tattooed individuals, I am judgmental when I see face and neck tattoos. I mainly think, "Didn't they think about their future"

I am also judgmental when I see other parents whose parenting style is so different from mine. For example, my sister and I took my 8 year old skating the other day. There was a 4 year old skating by herself (and doing a pretty good job too!). It became obvious that she had had an accident. I kept looking around for the mom, but no one seemed to be paying attention to this little girl. So I asked the staff if they knew who her mom was and they did. Eventually, I saw her go to her mom. The young woman was sitting at a table facing away from the skating rink, playing with her skates and completely ignoring her child. If I hadn't said something, that child would've been stuck in soiled shorts for goodness only knows how long.

Perhaps I'm a helicopter parent, but I can't imagine dropping my 4 year old off somewhere and just ignoring her the whole time.

 

[brockash]

Yep, although really I think everyone is and it's just natural. I try to be conscious of it however, but I do think it's important to not pretend things aren't as they are.

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

Yes.
But silently

 

[robndani]

I used to be way more than I am now. I think a big part of it has to do with who you hang out with. If you surround yourself with judgey people it's easy to fall into the trap. Now I'm sort of just too busy with my kids to even have much time to worry about what others are doing.

 

[Chocolate Cake]

Yes I am.


These are just a few of the current things I have "judged on" lately

If you come to my door and try to "sell" me your religion, I will automatically think you are mentally ill and brainwashed. Not to mention rude to bother me when I did not invite you to come to my door for a lecture.

If you have face tattoos or those huge ear gauges or a nose ring like you are a bull, I will automatically think you are missing something in your life and are in dire need of attention.

If you allow your 16 year old child to drink or have their significant other sleep in their bed, I will automatically think you are a crappy parent.

If you are on public assistance of any kind, but continue to carry high end bags, go on vacation, eat out, brag about your $300+ purchase at Sephora, etc., I will automatically think you are a loser scamming the system. This goes for people that are in the midst of a bankruptcy...but still are managing that trip to the Grand Floridian.

If you have a GoFundMe page set up so your child can go on a mission trip, a school trip, or any type of vacation-like trip, I will automatically think of your Facebook pictures of your last 5 vacations. Why didn't YOU cut back on your fun to help your child? You have no shame asking people to fund your child's vacations. Please don't tell me your child has to fly to Punta Cana to help the needy. Nope. Go downtown in our very own city to help the poor. You don't need to go anywhere that a bathing suit is going to be used daily.

I have tons more. Maybe I will come back

 

[Magpie]

I guess as I get older it seems I am. I think it is mostly to new parents to be honest. Their new fangled ideas about co-sleeping, being there for every single thing at school and not letting the child breathe, for the word kiddos and preggers to just name a few lol!

I had to laugh at "new fangled ideas about co-sleeping", considering that was a huge thing back in 1996, when my daughter was born. And, it was also big in the 1970's when I was a child. My babysitter had a family bed, and was a long haired hippie type who never shaved her legs. And she let us "express ourselves" by running around naked and throwing spaghetti at the ceiling. I thought she was SO cool! (Still do, actually, though I never actually fulfilled my childhood ambition of growing up to be just like her.)

And my grandpa used to call me "kiddo". I looked up the etymology and it dates back to 1893! Preggers is comparatively newer... it was coined in the early 1940's.

Sooo... exactly how old ARE you?

In any case, yes, I do judge. I don't like people who are mean or cruel or who deliberately set out to hurt other people, and I harshly judge people I see acting that way.

But I also try to always follow two rules...

1. Assume good intentions. Does this person mean to be hurtful? Is there another way to interpret their words or actions? Get the full story before deciding they're awful.

2. Ask myself, "Is anyone in immediate danger?" If the answer is no, then I need to mind my own business. This particularly applies to parenting decisions, religious beliefs, fashion choices, personal appearance and how people choose to organize their personal lives.

That said, I can definitely be sarcastic. And I love to argue... I mean, "debate". Doesn't mean I'm negatively judging the people I spar with, though. I generally think most people I interact with are just fine, as individuals, even when we don't agree.

 

[Magpie]

Or is your SO?

I'm still working on a bit of judgment towards tatooed individuals, sorry.

Parents whom free range their children to a degree where I think is too free. Yet, I was one of the out the door in the am, and come in for Dinner raised child.

Not because of that recent Disney tattoo thread, I hope? I don't have any tattoos myself, but I really enjoyed seeing all the different ways people were permanently inking on their love for the Mouse.

Last week, I saw a woman at Universal Studios with a Gravity Falls tattoo. Having just watched the entire series with my adult daughter, I had to run after her to tell her how much I loved her tattoo. It was nice to see how thrilled she was by the compliment.

 

[mousefanmichelle]

I had to laugh at "new fangled ideas about co-sleeping", considering that was a huge thing back in 1996, when my daughter was born. And, it was also big in the 1970's when I was a child. My babysitter had a family bed, and was a long haired hippie type who never shaved her legs. And she let us "express ourselves" by running around naked and throwing spaghetti at the ceiling. I thought she was SO cool! (Still do, actually, though I never actually fulfilled my childhood ambition of growing up to be just like her.)

And my grandpa used to call me "kiddo". I looked up the etymology and it dates back to 1893! Preggers is comparatively newer... it was coined in the early 1940's.

Sooo... exactly how old ARE you?

In any case, yes, I do judge. I don't like people who are mean or cruel or who deliberately set out to hurt other people, and I harshly judge people I see acting that way.

But I also try to always follow two rules...

1. Assume good intentions. Does this person mean to be hurtful? Is there another way to interpret their words or actions? Get the full story before deciding they're awful.

2. Ask myself, "Is anyone in immediate danger?" If the answer is no, then I need to mind my own business. This particularly applies to parenting decisions, religious beliefs, fashion choices, personal appearance and how people choose to organize their personal lives.

That said, I can definitely be sarcastic. And I love to argue... I mean, "debate". Doesn't mean I'm negatively judging the people I spar with, though. I generally think most people I interact with are just fine, as individuals, even when we don't agree.

LOL - I am mid 40's so not the crypt keeper by any means ha ha!!!

They are just things I am judgy about ;-) They are kids and you are pregnant and put your child in their own crib, in their own room. You don't need to have a camera on them and you don't have to have an app on your phone that tells you when your child pooped, ate or slept.

 

[Magpie]

LOL - I am mid 40's so not the crypt keeper by any means ha ha!!!

They are just things I am judgy about ;-) They are kids and you are pregnant and put your child in their own crib, in their own room. You don't need to have a camera on them and you don't have to have an app on your phone that tells you when your child pooped, ate or slept.

Eh, I slept with mine. It made nursing SO much easier for me, and meant the whole family slept better. No crying in the middle of the night!

Plus, we never had to waste our (rather limited) money on a crib. It was straight into a single bed when the kids were old enough to sleep on their own. (I had them sleeping together for a couple years, then we converted the single into a bunk bed. Around Grade 3/4, we lifted the house, built a basement and they got their own rooms.)

They seem to have turned out okay. My 19 year old moved out last year, and is sharing a place with a roommate, while attending university. My 21 year old is still at home, but she's also doing terrifically - just finished her third year of university, third year of interning in a biolab, and she just got back from a Chemistry conference in Toronto, where she was presenting a poster. Depending on where she chooses to do her Masters and Doctorate, she may be living with us for a few more years. I'm fine with that (and, more importantly, she seems happy, too)!

 

[aprilgail]

Yes I am.

If you have face tattoos or those huge ear gauges or a nose ring like you are a bull, I will automatically think you are missing something in your life and are in dire need of attention.



If you are on public assistance of any kind, but continue to carry high end bags, go on vacation, eat out, brag about your $300+ purchase at Sephora, etc., I will automatically think you are a loser scamming the system. This goes for people that are in the midst of a bankruptcy...but still are managing that trip to the Grand Floridian.

If you have a GoFundMe page set up so your child can go on a mission trip, a school trip, or any type of vacation-like trip, I will automatically think of your Facebook pictures of your last 5 vacations. Why didn't YOU cut back on your fun to help your child? You have no shame asking people to fund your child's vacations. Please don't tell me your child has to fly to Punta Cana to help the needy. Nope. Go downtown in our very own city to help the poor. You don't need to go anywhere that a bathing suit is going to be used daily.

I agree with all of the above! If you are on public assistance you have no business going on vacations etc- if you can afford that then you can afford to support yourself! Of course you will hear "oh so and so paid for us"- well then why doesn't so and so help you get off public assistance instead of enabling you??

I HATE facial tattoos and piercings and gauges make me sick to look at.

I am not paying for anyones vacation dubbed "mission trip"- if you want to go someplace and help them then do so by funding it with your own money- that would make it something special!

 

[MamaBelle4]

Eh, I slept with mine. It made nursing SO much easier for me, and meant the whole family slept better. No crying in the middle of the night!

Me too. It isn't like you ever sleep soundly when you're up every 2 hours nursing anyway, but it helped me maximize rest. As long as you don't do certain things (drink, smoke, take medications that make you drowsy, huge toss & turner, etc) and you and your partner decide that's what is best for your family and you take certain precautions (like no blankets), I don't see an issue with it. People have co slept since the beginning of time.

 

[SaintsManiac]

I will never understand why people have a problem with what others do to their own bodies.

 

[tzolkin]

I will never understand why people have a problem with what others do to their own bodies.

You are correct. It certainly is absolutely none of my business how people choose to decorate their bodies, but I will admit that my natural instinct is to question some people's decision making skills, impulse control, etc. (I think that about a lot of things, but just using tattoos as the example here.) I know so many people who have at least one tattoo that they regret; most are not well thought out. Many people have lots of unrelated, poorly executed tattoos peppered all over their bodies and, despite my best effort, I internally wonder "what the heck were they thinking?" and then just assume that they weren't thinking. I find some tattoos (very large, artfully done) absolutely lovely, so I am not against tattooing in general. But, I am simply not a fan of many (most?). I personally find it unappealing and visually distracting when people have what looks like dirty clip-art just randomly placed.

 

[Stacy's a freak]

Yeah, somewhat judgy, we both are. I have a problem with face/neck tattoos because I (myself) wonder why a person would want them out at all times. For instance, let's say you are getting married and you are wearing a strapless wedding gown or a tux ... I, myself, would want to look polished in that instance and I consider neck/face tattoos not to be polished. I also have a problem when people wear clothes that are either too tight or just plain unflattering. I have no issues with other people's body shapes but I think a person should wear clothes that are flattering. Clingy fabrics that outline muffin tops, pants that are lower than the butt-cheek line or short shorts that delve into personal areas are not flattering to my eyes.

However often I think these things, I am also internally telling myself that it's none of my business and I should just look the other way. My mantra is "you never know what a person's personal battles are" so I do not say anything and I really hope that I do not project my thoughts for another person to see or understand.

Meanwhile, I never leave the house without looking in the mirror, 'cause my mama told me so.

 

[SaintsManiac]

You are correct. It certainly is absolutely none of my business how people choose to decorate their bodies, but I will admit that my natural instinct is to question some people's decision making skills, impulse control, etc. (I think that about a lot of things, but just using tattoos as the example here.) I know so many people who have at least one tattoo that they regret; most are not well thought out. Many people have lots of unrelated, poorly executed tattoos peppered all over their bodies and, despite my best effort, I internally wonder "what the heck were they thinking?" and then just assume that they weren't thinking. I find some tattoos (very large, artfully done) absolutely lovely, so I am not against tattooing in general. But, I am simply not a fan of many (most?). I personally find it unappealing and visually distracting when people have what looks like dirty clip-art just randomly placed.

But it doesn't matter to you. It doesn't affect your life in any way at all. Not sure why it upsets you.

 

[MamaBelle4]

Meanwhile, I never leave the house without looking in the mirror, 'cause my mama told me so.

I leave without looking in the mirror all the time. I don't need that kind of negativity in my life.