Are you friends with your boss?

[LOVEDISNEYLAND]

I was just wondering because half of me wants to be friends because she's reaching out to me and she's a good person, but the other half is telling me that it's not such a good idea because she has been showing me some traits that she might take advantage of our friendship in the work place. What is your take on this? I would like some advice please. Thanks!

 

[Serena]

You didn't really give much detail, and that is ok. But you'll only get general advice. So here's mine. Be friendly. But don't do or say anything that could get you into trouble if she turns into someone that could turn against you.

I figure we all could use a friend sometimes.

 

[terri01p]

I don't know why but it seems like the minute you become friends, I mean really good friends, with a boss they put more work on you than any other person around and expect more, at least that is from my experience.

 

[LOVEDISNEYLAND]

You didn't really give much detail, and that is ok. But you'll only get general advice. So here's mine. Be friendly. But don't do or say anything that could get you into trouble if she turns into someone that could turn against you.

I figure we all could use a friend sometimes.

She's been asking me to work late a lot because she admits that she doesn't want to ask anyone else. So basically, open to close at least 3 days a week and I'm going to school 2 nights a week and so I come home completely drained and don't have time to spend with my husband. Is this what you ment by details? Thanks!

 

[GoodFairies]

IMO, it is never a good idea to have a personal relationship with a boss. I think it should remain polite and professional always.

 

[Serena]

She's been asking me to work late a lot because she admits that she doesn't want to ask anyone else. So basically, open to close at least 3 days a week and I'm going to school 2 nights a week and so I come home completely drained and don't have time to spend with my husband. Is this what you ment by details? Thanks!

Not really but good enough. This is taking advantage of you. Just because she doesn't want to ruffle any feathers, you get all work. Now, unless you don't mind all those hours, I'd tell her she needs to find someone else to do some too.

 

[Hercules10]

No. Have a businees casual relationship. But leave your personal side personal. One day the boss may have to discipline you or one day you maybe asked to assume your boss's jpb.

 

[Boo'sMom]

friendly...yes
friends...no

 

[WDWBarb]

IMHO, the boss should never try and develop an overly-personal relationship with any of their employees. I've seen three really good examples of why this is a very, very bad idea. It can cause a great deal of harm to people and to the company.

Now, that's not to say that a manager shouldn't be friendly with the employees. Of course they should - but the line should be drawn.

 

[Tikitoi]

Friends, but with that professional distance. Especially as I am realizing more and more that she has another side to her.

 

[npmommie]

I am probably the odd duck out here but I work per diem for a physician, she and I are very good friends, we were friends before I started working for her.

 

[kellyg403]

I am also in the camp that work relationships very rarely should veer into a personal one. Honestly, I have seen some bad things happen to people just simply because a personal relationship ended up not working out well with their boss. Petty and childish IMHO, but it happens.

I have plenty of people I know that I can have a great working relationship with but not a personal one and plenty I can have a great personal one with but hate to work with. So, I just keep it separate and so far no hard feelings!

BTW, it does sound like she is taking advantage of you. I realize that she is trying to be friendly but to work you to death because she doesn't want to work another employee means to me she needs to hire somebody else she trusts as much as you and get rid of the dead weight.

Kelly

 

[Keli]

I am friendly with my boss, he's a nice guy and I like him, but we are not 'friends'. Definitely have that professional distance in place.
I've never been 'friends' with any boss I've had, I don't think I would feel very comfortable with that.

 

[Disneyaunt4]

Yes, we were friends before he was my boss.

 

[m&m's mom]

My old boss was my former co-worker. I had just started and she had been there 5 years. 10 years later, she was my boss. I liked her as a comptemorary and I LOVED her as a boss!
Unfortunately they re-organized and left me w/ a dufus in another town as a manager (I work from home now). I am friendly but new bos and I have virtualy nothing in common.
Thankfully my old boss is begging to get me back and I would be thrilled to have her again. I figure anyone who was my boss for 10 years and still wanted to be my boss was a keeper.

 

[Diva of Dragons]

I'm my own boss. We have a love/hate relationship!

But, when I worked for other people, no. I usually had a good working relationships that were "friendly", meaning we didn't only talk about work, but interaction never spilled into our personal lives. That's thin ice territory.

LOVEDISNEYLAND: Go with your gut this one. If you are seeing red flags now, there is a reason for it. I'd stay friendly but keep it at work.

 

[pearlieq]

I like my boss genuinely as a person. I respect the heck out her and enjoy her company. I would very much enjoy being friends with her AFTER I leave her employ.

However, as her employee, certain boundaries need to be maintained for a functional workplace. I can't let personal feelings get involved with my work, and I wouldn't take the risk of a falling out affecting my work environment.

Be friendly, enjoy each other's company during work/work functions, but don't cross the line until you no longer report to them.

 

[LOVEDISNEYLAND]

Thank you to all for such thoughtful responses. I think I've made my mind up that maintaining some boundries is a much better idea.