Are we spoiling our kids?

[Lisavince3]

My DH and I grew up in households that weren't exactly poor, but neither of our families had extra money to go on fancy family vacations. In my family, for our vacations we would go camping or would drive 17 hours to stay with relatives in Texas. As kids, we thought that was fun, but I was always slightly envious of the kids who had been to WDW or who had flown in an airplane! Our kids have very different vacation experiences. We travel often and typically use our DVC points to stay in 1-2 bedroom villas in WDW. However, this year, we used all of our points to go on the Dream. We did a short pre-cruise stay in Orlando, staying off-site for the first time, and in a typical hotel room. We walked in the room and my kids faces dropped. We told them that that was what a normal hotel room looked like. My 8 yo DD walked with my 5 yo DD towards the bathroom and I heard her whisper, "Come on, there has to be a secret room in here somewhere." It was funny, but part of me felt a little bit bad. I feel so fortunate to take my family on these magical trips, but at the same time it worries me that my kids seem to think it's normal to stay in the best rooms at the best resorts, to take awesome cruises, etc. and I'm hoping that we aren't creating problems in the long run. Please don't think that I'm complaining, I love DVC and the experiences we've had, but I was just wondering if anyone else has had similar feelings? Thanks

 

[dansamy]

I know I'm spoiling my kids. But I also know they're pretty good kids & our vacations are the majority of our discretionary income expenditures. I want to make memories with them, not just buy them "stuff".

 

[Pirate Granny]

We were all about making memories with our girls, and now our grandchildren..I went on vaca with my family and it was the memories not the rooms that i remember. HOWEVER, with that said, my oldest granddaughter was looking for the upstairs rooms when we stayed at OKW last year in a 2 bedroom and not the GV from the year before.:

 

[DisneyRegulars]

I've wondered about the whole are we spoiling are son thing too. My son is only 3 and still thinks all hotel rooms are cool though. As he grows up I'm hoping to make it clear to him that vacations are how we choose to spend our extra money. We don't go out to eat, we don't go to movies, we don't go shopping for fun, we don't drive fancy cars. We live a pretty simple lifestyle during most of the year, but we do that because we save a ton each month for our vacations.

I think it's probably natural for your kids to be disappointed in a regular room if they had never seen one before. It's if they pitched a fit and cried and cried and then you switched to a Deluxe resort to appease them that you have spoiled kids.

 

[jennylyn_b]

I've wondered about the whole are we spoiling are son thing too. My son is only 3 and still thinks all hotel rooms are cool though. As he grows up I'm hoping to make it clear to him that vacations are how we choose to spend our extra money. We don't go out to eat, we don't go to movies, we don't go shopping for fun, we don't drive fancy cars. We live a pretty simple lifestyle during most of the year, but we do that because we save a ton each month for our vacations.

I think it's probably natural for your kids to be disappointed in a regular room if they had never seen one before. It's if they pitched a fit and cried and cried and then you switched to a Deluxe resort to appease them that you have spoiled kids.

I have to agree 100000% with this. We are dvc and its our extra money outlet. We don't do movies or eat out often etc. We use our dvc instead and go to Disney twice a year. Yes our dd is spoiled at two yrs old by dvc but we don't see that as bad. There is a difference, to us , between spoiled and bratty.

 

[jennyjinx3]

We do not own DVC, but have gone once a year for the past three, and this year are going twice. I agree with the PP that our kids are very lucky, but we too do not spend money on eating out, excessive clothes, or other "things" we or the kids do not need.

Our goals are saving money for vacations and paying off our mortgage. The kids don't understand this yet but they will as soon as they grasp it all.

Making memories is not spoiling them. Hope it was ok for me to chime in here.

 

[Chuck S]

If you're truly concerned, I'd simply bank points for a year, or rent them out to someone (you may even be able to barter them to someone that provides services to your family for things like hair care or doctor visits , if you know them well).

Then you could take a more traditional family vacation that year of camping, or visiting relatives, or just driving cross country to see the natural beauty. I think every kid should experience an old fashioned road trip at some point in their childhood where it isn't solely about the destination, but the adventure.

I grew up near Disneyland, and was able to go quite a lot as a child, but the cross country driving vacations, stopping at those hokey tourist traps, are still fond memories. But I would be tempted to wait until the kids are old enough to not be imprisoned in a car seat.

 

[drusba]

Spoiling is a greatly over-rated as a concern. I grew up lower middle class at best with 9 brothers and sisters in a small three bedroom townhome. Vacations were something done every other year on the cheap. We have officially spoiled all three of ours (daughters), who started going to WDW young and well before DVC (to such places as Poly, GF and BC) and with DVC a 2BR at BWV became the norm. The oldest, who has two kids, is now the chief operating officer of a national company. The second is a patent lawyer in a large national firm and recently married, and the youngest is handicapped and still at home with us but does as much as she can on her own.

 

[DizBub]

We were one of those families that spoiled our kids by going to WDW once every year. In fact our oldest turned 5 on our first trip in 1975. We stayed at Fort Wilderness for years. It wasn't until 1986 that we actually rented a room on site and that was a Wilderness Cabin.

We always went in the winter months and it was usually too cold to swim and back then there were no pools at FW, I think we made it to River Country only once. We always took a summer vacation somewhere out West too so it wasn't just Disney.

We managed to do this on one modest income because I was lucky enough to be a stay at home mom. The kids all knew that they were just lucky to be there and that there was no money for "extras" so they didn't constantly ding us for stuff. WDW was the only time our 3 DDs ever got along for an extended period of time. We all have so many wonderful memories and now we are fortunate enough to be making more memories with our grandkids in much better accomodations.

If that's spoiling them, sign me up!!!

 

[Mouseaholic!!!]

Disney is OK for pretend. How about expanding their knowledge and adventure to include State and National Parks! Grand Canyon, the Tetons, majestic Redwoods or El Capitan!!! Not to mention the wildlife.

We did a quick weekend to Skyline Drive late fall. We saw more deer than we could count and then we saw a black flash. On the other side of the 3' stone wall a young mama black bear shuffled her three cubs up a tree..turned toward us, stood up and stared at us. NOTHING at WDW matches that for excitement.

Buy them each binoculars and let their imaginations fly free!

Oh yes, we ended our weekend at Thomas Jefferson's magnificent Monticello.


Sure, spoil them at Disney then help them to explore the World. You will never regret it.

 

[Deb & Bill]

Disney is OK for pretend. How about expanding their knowledge and adventure to include State and National Parks! Grand Canyon, the Tetons, majestic Redwoods or El Capitan!!! Not to mention the wildlife.

We did a quick weekend to Skyline Drive late fall. We saw more deer than we could count and then we saw a black flash. On the other side of the 3' stone wall a young mama black bear shuffled her three cubs up a tree..turned toward us, stood up and stared at us. NOTHING at WDW matches that for excitement.

Buy them each binoculars and let their imaginations fly free!

Oh yes, we ended our weekend at Thomas Jefferson's magnificent Monticello.


Sure, spoil them at Disney then help them to explore the World. You will never regret it.

We vacationed with our son when he was one to three years old in Yellowstone, Glacier National Park and Victoria, BC before we ever went to WDW. We've been back to Yellowstone a few more time, Glacier a few more time (and our son did Glacier for a day with his friend when he was in Montana). Since we left Montana, we've done the Grand Canyon, Petrified Forest, Painted Desert, Carlsbad Caverns, Marco Island, DL and WDW. He has gone on way more vacations to way more places in his 19 years than I did in 19 yrs.

But being a family of three with two good incomes makes it easier to vacation than a family of six with one good income.

 

[patsal]

It really depends on your children. I have one who is grateful for everything that she has been given and one who questions everything and takes as much as he can. DD is now welcome to join us whenever she can and DS may enjoy his new position as CEO of hard knocks. I grew up lower middle class and worked for everything I have. I saw what I didn't want and figured out how to insure that I insulated myself from those things as best as anyone can. It is really all on each of your children's personalities. Some feel grateful and are aware, some are greedy and oblivious, and some just don't think any further than the moment and remain clueless.

 

[BEASLYBOO]

Is it spoiling or is just the product of living in a different time!

As an only child from a a middle income family, living in Florida, we vacationed once a year, 2 weeks out of Florida in the summer. We went with or visited family, either in Canada, France, Spain, Maine.... We camped too! Timeshares got such a bad rap in those days, they weren't a consideration for us. We went to Disney generally once a year when friend/family visited and that was just for the day! We headed out early and came back late, all worn out!

Some people can't fathom the reason as to why I would buy a "Florida" timeshare! We use it for long week-ends, 3-4 days get away's and we still vacation outside of Florida!

However, DVC/the resorts is the standard by which my son measures every other stay! He was 2 when I bought, at 16 now, every few months when withdrawal sets in, he asks when are we going to Disney? If we book cabins, other timeshares, hotels, I always hear the same thing, "It's not as nice as ....."

I've done the same for my son as my parents did for me, traveled both here & abroad to show him how others live! France, England, Spain, the US & Canadaand we camp too and love it! Is it spoiling him, no I don't think so, t's just a different time

 

[lodge]

Those Disney movies have great lessons to be learned. Our kids and I talk while Princess and the Frog is on.

Tiana's work ethic is fantastic, she does not have to rely on marrying a "prince" to be happy. The kids did not receive the puppy as Ladi had, and share their "gumbo" with others. Hopefully they will pursue their dreams, as Tiana did as well (and be gracious and elegant in the process).

No, we don't live in the fantasyland of Disney, but it's an opportunity to teach, and we take it!!

 

[rutgers1]

I actually think about this question a lot. There are some kids who never get to visit Disney, and yet we visit so often that it really isn't quite the same big deal anymore.

I sometimes wonder if I am setting my kids up for disappointment later in life if they can't afford the same things. In the end, though, I don't think I am because of the following:

1) I often point out that we don't just go anywhere/everywhere we want and that we have to save in order to go on these vacations.

2) I don't say "yes" to everything they want. They might go to Disney a lot, but there are a lot of things that their friends get that they do not get.

3) I am a good model of someone who works very hard. I don't make a ton of money, but I work very hard at my full time job, and I have a part time job that allows me to pay for "extras" like vacations. My kids see firsthand that money for Disney vacations does not grow on trees.

4) I teach them to find value and entertainment in little things that don't cost a lot of money. Yes, going to Disney is a big part of our life, but so is watching television together on Sunday nights (The whole house stops and we get together to watch Once Upon a Time).

5) We are involved in the community. My wife and I are teachers, and we also are part of a youth mentor program. The kids get involved in that, too. I think this shows them that caring about others helps one lead a life that matters.

6) I don't plan on selling my DVC membership anytime soon. In other words, they will be going to Disney for as long as they want to go....and they will be able to use my points when they have wives/kids. So it isn't like there will be a cut-off point when they will no longer be able to enjoy Disney.

7) I really think Disney has a lot of great messages for kids who are growing up. I think there is great value in the sense of play and adventure you get while on the Disney property. I always point out how Disney goes "above and beyond" for their guests, and I hope that these lessons carry over into their adult lives when they enter the business world.

But with all that said, I do sometimes wonder if I am spoiling my kids.

 

[jekjones1558]

This is a very good question. I reflect often on how lucky I feel to have grown up in a home with one steady, lower middle income. We did not have luxuries. We NEVER and I mean NEVER ate out. Take out Chinese food was a huge treat reserved for days my mom was in the hospital having a baby or surgery. To this day I consider eating out a real treat. A new pair of socks makes my day. I pinch myself when I think that we have DVC. Our next generation will never enjoy many simple pleasures in the same way I do. I worry that in giving them so much I am cheating them in the long run.

 

[tb1972]

Our family typically goes on vacation twice a year. Usually once to WDW and once to visit DH's parents in AZ. While in AZ, we'll take trips to the mountains, Grand Canyon, etc. We try to make sure they understand their good fortune. Some of their friends have never been to WDW. I think they understand we work hard to give them the vacations & save for their college funds.

I don't feel guilty about making memories as others have said. Kids grow up so quickly so we try to enjoy each stage. I remember when DD was 4 and ate at Cinderella's castle for the first time. That memory of her excitement and the magic is one I won't forget. Now DD is 10 and loves the water parks and roller coasters! Disney grows with us & has provided years of wonderful vacations with more to come.

 

[Mouseaholic!!!]

We vacationed with our son when he was one to three years old in Yellowstone, Glacier National Park and Victoria, BC before we ever went to WDW. We've been back to Yellowstone a few more time, Glacier a few more time (and our son did Glacier for a day with his friend when he was in Montana). Since we left Montana, we've done the Grand Canyon, Petrified Forest, Painted Desert, Carlsbad Caverns, Marco Island, DL and WDW. He has gone on way more vacations to way more places in his 19 years than I did in 19 yrs.

But being a family of three with two good incomes makes it easier to vacation than a family of six with one good income.

That's GREAT! Your child is so lucky.

Imagine the difference, standing in front of your class describing Hubbard Glacier (face 300 ft high and 65 feet wide----26 miles up into the snow covered mountains) vs. A description of Toy Story Mania.

Now don't get me wrong, i hop up and down like the best 9 year old waiting to ride TSM, just love it. But there is soooooooo much out there that Is fascinating. A good balance will benefit your children for life. Diversified travel will spark a curiosity in children which lasts a lifetime.

Nobody loved Disney as much as I did as a child - life's goal was to know every line to every Disney song one year...then I went to NASA SPACE CAMP!!!!!! Remember the first time you went swimming with the stingrays on a Caribbean cruise? ..........probably sparked my interest in what became Marine Biology!!!!! .....and yes, have been diving with my true love MICKEY!!

My parents worked very hard for a stingyiddle class life. I can never thank them enough for my childhood....even the stay-cation summers. The Smithsonian was only 45 minutes away.

 

[BEASLYBOO]

But I guess truth be told,if we're spoiling them, then we're spoiling ourselves, because we're along for the wonderful ride!

 

[arthur06]

DW asks me this question on a regular basis and I never worry that I am spoiling my boys. It's important to me that we vacation outside of our home, in a manner that we can afford. DVC allows us Disney when the kids are young. When they are older, who knows, maybe we sell???

We mix in other vacations, long weekends and day activities during the year as well.

We just booked a trip for this fall and used the rest of this years and next years points. So, our next trip will be something completely different.

I agree with all the PP's that say that diversifying your vacations is a key tho.