Are Northern Girls Really Different from Southern Girls?

[Jenvenza]

I was born and raised in Southeast Texas - which is really pretty different from what a lot of people consider the "South". I have also lived in Greensboro, NC for a couple of years and I that was definitely a more Southern place.

That being said - the way Southerner's are described - I don't find myself to be that way at all. I am a friendly person when I get to knwo you - but I am not going to go out of my way to talk to you just because we made eye contact. I think people base their views of people from the North and from the South on streotypes, when we don't all fit that mold.

I would think she wants to tranfer because she misses her friends and not because people in the South are so different. Maybe she is just homesick?

 

[C.Ann]

I have found people in the south to be much more friendly; very open; extremely helpful; not easily "rattled" (that whole laid-back "don't sweat the small stuff" way of life); and far less materialistic.. (And this is coming from a gal raised and lived in the north all my life..)

Personally I would love to live in the south.. Look up "rat race" in the dictionary, and you will find the northern states.. LOL.. People are very transient here - tend not to get involved very much with their neighbors (and appear to have no interest in doing so) - very focused on keeping up with the Jones' - and being "married" to their jobs..

Of course there are exceptions - in both cases - but given my 'druthers, I would take the lifestyle of a southerner over a northerner any day of the week..

 

[The Mystery Machine]

My family from Michigan thinks that we are "hillbillies" since we live in Missouri.

Now we might be rednecks....but HILLBILLIES?

 

[KyraS]

Oh my gosh whoever was talking about just riding taking in the scenery described my mother and my husband to a "T!"

I HATE IT! I want to be there already, LOL! I flew for the first time this year and was AMAZED that I could be in San Francisco in 4 hours! I LOVED IT!!!!!!!

 

[daisax]

I do know that throughout the South, people are generally more friendly and open and honest.

Don't confuse "friendly and open" with honest. We Northerners may be standoffish with total strangers, but it doesn't make us dishonest.



When I lived in Spain I remember being told ahead of time not to expect to be invited to people's houses. They simply don't entertain people at home -- you meet at a bar. You have to be veryveryveryvery close to come to someone's home, and as Americans, we needed to be wary of extending invitations to even new friends because they'd be seen as crazy.

And recently on a different board we were discussing visiting Eastern Europe, and someone said how smiling and grinning in public is the equivalent of looking like a mental patient -- you don't smile at other people unless you're simple or have some ulterior motive, so they are instinctively distrustful of a smiling face. To us it comes off as cold and stern, but our social bubbliness comes off to them like lunacy.

It's good to be aware of regional norms, because otherwise you can jump to a lot of conclusions about someone's sincerity/intentions.

 

[Angelhalo]

Take that back!!!!!!! That is a myth! We were just down with ya'll and I was amazed by all of you speed demons!!

LOL I live in the south and I agree! I don't understand the slow thing....I haven't encountered any of these moseying, speech impeded, driving under the speed limit, slow working people that everyone seems to associate with the south. I have lived up north, I have lived in Miami, I have lived in the south....and I haven't noticed any speed differences ain any of these tasks in any of the places I have lived. My mom was born and raised in the south and I dare the most fit person around to try to keep up with her. I think the "slow pace of life" thing is an old stereotype.

 

[SC Minnie]

It really depends on which areas of the South you are referring to. Anything near a major city is going to be completely different than the smaller more rural towns. I am the only born and raised southerner on my street. I don't know of any other people 'from around here' that even go to my church. They all moved here from different areas of the country.

 

[hentob]

Don't confuse "friendly and open" with honest. We Northerners may be standoffish with total strangers, but it doesn't make us dishonest.
.

I honestly find it dishonest to look at someone, smile sweetly and then say “Why, bless your heart”

How fake! I would rather someone just tell me off

 

[Angelhalo]

What is "shopping shopping"? How does it differ from "shopping"?


Question for the Southern ladies. I drove down south with my DH some time ago, and we stopped at a Mickey D's for lunch. The woman at the counter had a pronounced drawl and I thought it was just awesome. I mentioned it to DH and he said that I shouldn't be talking about it and that it wasn't polite.

If you have a southern accent, would you be offended by someone saying how neat it is to hear your accent? I thought DH was being really weird.

If you are saying its neat I don't think its bad at all. My accent isn't that strong but my mom's is. The only thing that bothers her is when out of staters assume she is some dimwitted yokel just because she has a southern accent. A southern accent has NOTHING to do with intelligence people!!

 

[John Smith1]

I grew up in NY and moved to Georgia about 10 years ago. I found a NY girlfriend because it's what I am used to and it's what I like. Southern has it's plusses but I had a hard time relating to them.

Different? As night and day.

 

[Ilovemylife]

In a word, yes.

I find the people in the upper Midwest to be much more open, honest, welcoming and friendly than those in the South.

Plus, being a "Mama's boy" isn't a good thing here.

If I was launched into a totally different world than the one I was used to (and I have been) I would want to leave ASAP.

 

[Angelhalo]

I grew up in NY and moved to Georgia about 10 years ago. I found a NY girlfriend because it's what I am used to and it's what I like. Southern has it's plusses but I had a hard time relating to them.

Different? As night and day.

Its so funny because I am a southerner yet my two best friends in the world are from PA, and Brooklyn. My friend in Brooklyn and I are so similar (not in looks) her mom calls us twins.

 

[LukenDC]

I find that Southerners have a strong regional identity that tends to make non-Southerners feel like outsiders and unwelcome.

 

[Angelhalo]

I find that Southerners have a strong regional identity that tends to make non-Southerners feel like outsiders and unwelcome.

Maybe for some...however in our church the southerners are outnumbered by people from up north and they are always talking about how happy they are that they moved here, how friendly everyone is etc etc. So I don't think one can make a blanket statement. Some will feel welcome, some won't. I know if I picked up and moved to CA, I'd feel off at first, but I truly believe that life is what you make of it. Wherever you go, if you put the effort into making friends, you will find them. If you're determined to stamp everyone as "different" and determined to feel unwelcomed, then that is how you will feel.

 

[chrisw127]

I live about an hour north of Bloomfield Hills, and YEP, it sure does get cold. So, how cold does it get in North Carolina during the winter? What is the average low temperature?

Well, today it is in the 50s, although it started out in the high 20s. Winter is really all over the place. Here in the middle of the state, we sometimes get a little snow (lasts a day or two) or nothing at all. Last year we were in shorts at Thanksgiving. This year, it was cold (okay, 50s).

Summer really gets you though. I actually think it is more humid and hot than Tallahassee, FL in the summer. The only place that I've been that was worse was Honduras.

 

[pooh4evr]

Dh's family is from southern Missouri (rual farming area) -I am from St Louis area- 2 very different places only 3 hours apart- anyway everytime we are there I "learn" something new-- Example= when should we go the "Grandmother' " house for dinner/supper- well about dark 30 (WTH is dark 30?!) well 30 minutes after dark-- and then when we go somewhere in town where is it -across town (everything is across town) BTW so far I have REFUSED to eat the hog jowl and black eyed peas on New Yrs Day no gonna happen!

 

[John Smith1]

Its so funny because I am a southerner yet my two best friends in the world are from PA, and Brooklyn. My friend in Brooklyn and I are so similar (not in looks) her mom calls us twins.

Then you're MY kind of girl!

 

[Angelhalo]

Then you're MY kind of girl!

 

[NotUrsula]

Um, could this be in any way related to religion, perhaps? That's the elephant in the room in this conversation. People in the South (and especially in the Carolinas, I've found) tend to wear their religion on their sleeves, while your average Yankee most emphathetically does not.

In certain parts of the South where the Southern Baptist denomination comprises the majority of the population, life tends to revolve around "Church". No homework or band practice on Wednesdays. No liquor at weddings. But most of all, among Protestants, a consuming interest in where one goes to Church. This has to be answered with a place, because saying that you don't go is an opening to be invited to the inquirer's own Church. It's a social minefield for an outsider, especially one who is Catholic or Jewish.

Also, all that storied "friendliness and warmth" often masks a deep distrust of outsiders. We are taught to be polite for the sake of politeness, and we sometimes overdo it in a way that seems very syrupy and fake to those from elsewhere. Southern people also tend to be more aware of the markers of socio-economic status than those from elsewhere in the country, and women, especially, will tend to unconsciously pry a bit to try to place you. That can come off as very shallow if you are not used to it. (Let's be honest, it can also BE very shallow. Some women are schooled to be very concerned with the social status of those they associate with, and women in the South who think this way tend to be rather more transparent about it than those elsewhere.)

I hope that she can articulate exactly what it is that seems "off" to her. She really should ask her new friends for help with dealing with the cultural differences.

 

[Angelhalo]

Um, could this be in any way related to religion, perhaps? That's the elephant in the room in this conversation. People in the South (and especially in the Carolinas, I've found) tend to wear their religion on their sleeves, while your average Yankee most emphathetically does not.

In certain parts of the South where the Southern Baptist denomination comprises the majority of the population, life tends to revolve around "Church". No homework or band practice on Wednesdays. No liquor at weddings. But most of all, among Protestants, a consuming interest in where one goes to Church. This has to be answered with a place, because saying that you don't go is an opening to be invited to the inquirer's own Church. It's a social minefield for an outsider, especially one who is Catholic or Jewish.

Also, all that storied "friendliness and warmth" often masks a deep distrust of outsiders. We are taught to be polite for the sake of politeness, and we sometimes overdo it in a way that seems very syrupy and fake to those from elsewhere. Southern people also tend to be more aware of the markers of socio-economic status than those from elsewhere in the country, and women, especially, will tend to unconsciously pry a bit to try to place you. That can come off as very shallow if you are not used to it. (Let's be honest, it can also BE very shallow. Some women are schooled to be very concerned with the social status of those they associate with, and women in the South who think this way tend to be rather more transparent about it than those elsewhere.)

I hope that she can articulate exactly what it is that seems "off" to her. She really should ask her new friends for help with dealing with the cultural differences.

Hmmmm I can honestly say I've never seen any of this