Are men always wrong?

[mtblujeans]

....I suggest you have a SERIOUS talk with her tonight and nip this in the bud before it gets to be a habit.

I know you didn't ask for marital advice, but no one, no one, should yell at their spouse unreasonably like a spoiled child. You need to tell her to stop.

Be prepared....she's not going to like that! No one has probably told her that before!

If you sit her down and (talk to her the way I talk to my teens) help her reason the sitatuation out....1.What happened to the car? 2.What would leaving my work today solve about this situation? 3.Why did you need the hood opened? 4.Wouldn't it make more sense to make an appt. for Saturday so neither one of us have to miss work? 5.It would have been less stressful for me if you had not yelled at me about this since I had no control over the situation. 6.As long as we remain calm, we can work this out together!

By the way, I am not kidding on this one. Some people have never been trained to think things through and get to an end result.

ETA: We were posting at the same time....

 

[luvmydogs]

I'm not one to think that men are 'always' wrong, or that just because a woman's angry she should be called a 'B', but I do find that sometimes my dh and I just come from totally different perpectives on many issues--it's like our brains are wired to think differently, and it's difficult at times to see each other's feelings and reactions as valid. It can be frustrating, and takes a lot of work to come to mutual understandings at times--sometimes we each have to admit we're just being buttheads. We've been together nearly 20 years, and we are still a work in progress.

That said, and with only knowing your side of this story; I do believe your wife was very out of line. I know in the past you've posted about some of the issues that you have with your wife, and I'm not at all being critical or judgemental, but do wonder if you think that these things that tend to come about are just symptoms of a deeper issue. Just concerned food for thought--definitely not trying to analyze you, your wife or your marriage.

Wish you the best.

 

[Bob Slydell]

Oh no - I've learned that lesson already. She'll just

A.Ignore me
B.Say she had a bad day, headache, and stay all pissy.
C.Assume I want a divorce

Sounds like you're pretty well screwed then. Might as well get used to it.

 

[AllyandJack]

I've been lost and called DH in a tizzy. I'm not yelling at him...I'm just yelling.

I've also not been able to open the hood of my car and needed washer fluid! I didn't call DH. I got some bottled water and kept pulling over to clean my windshield (it was winter after a storm and the windshield kept getting filthy). I waited for him to come home from work and he made it all better.

She needs to be more self-sufficient. Granted, there are some things I need DH to do, but unless it's an emergency, it waits until he's home from work. It's going to get to the point where your blood pressure goes up whenever you see her number on the caller ID. That's no way to feel about your wife.

Good luck.

 

[boomhauer]

She needs to be more self-sufficient. Granted, there are some things I need DH to do, but unless it's an emergency, it waits until he's home from work. It's going to get to the point where your blood pressure goes up whenever you see her number on the caller ID. That's no way to feel about your wife.

I certainly won't tell her that. She's already mad at me because I wouldn't take her car on my lunch break to get it inspected. She goes into work at noontime on Tuesdays, so I asked her why she couldn't just do it on the way to work. Generally, I don't take a lunch break and didn't really have the time to do it today. That was my first mistake.

 

[Christine]

I've been lost and called DH in a tizzy. I'm not yelling at him...I'm just yelling.

I have also done this--been lost, got on the phone with WHOEVER I could get in touch with and said "OMG, I don't know where I am, what do I do????" Like you said--a tizzy.

I think something different is going on here. If she's anything like my boss' wife, she isn't calling up in a panic. My boss' wife calls him and says: I'm lost, I don't know where I am, and you BETTER get me out of here. My boss will say "Honey, I am one hour away from you--what do you want me to do? She will then start screaming that it's "all his fault" and I hear expletives! (My boss is an abuser of the speaker phone unfortunately). So I've heard the tone and it's not at all nice. She truly blames her husband for whatever has befallen her at the moment. Weird.

 

[sleepyone]

My boss has been married to this woman for 20 years and she has never stopped the yelling at him. It has totally driven him over the edge. I suggest you have a SERIOUS talk with her tonight and nip this in the bud before it gets to be a habit.

I know you didn't ask for marital advice, but no one, no one, should yell at their spouse unreasonably like a spoiled child. You need to tell her to stop.

ITA! Things that we each did in the beginning of our marriage has become our habit.

 

[Quackmore]

Men like me are lucky that anyone puts up with our baloney. We only act tough because we're insecure and not too bright...

 

[MICKEY88]

She had to put windshield washer fluid in her car.

well in that case, you should have dropped everything immediately...NOT !!!

if she reacts that way over such a trivial matter, I suggest leaving the country if you ever do anything seriously wrong..

 

[shep]

Tell her...'Would you prefer I left my phone on & got fired?'
She needs to realize your situation..
I am usually the one yelling at my wife for not picking up..

 

[onecoolmama]

Oh no - My wife has done that to me before too.

Wait, I have done this. But I dont get upset, I just tell him where I am and get him on the computer to get me directions to where I need to go. One time I freaked out becasue I was in a really bad neighborhood.

 

[sleepyone]

Be prepared....she's not going to like that! No one has probably told her that before!

If you sit her down and (talk to her the way I talk to my teens) help her reason the sitatuation out....1.What happened to the car? 2.What would leaving my work today solve about this situation? 3.Why did you need the hood opened? 4.Wouldn't it make more sense to make an appt. for Saturday so neither one of us have to miss work? 5.It would have been less stressful for me if you had not yelled at me about this since I had no control over the situation. 6.As long as we remain calm, we can work this out together!

By the way, I am not kidding on this one. Some people have never been trained to think things through and get to an end result.

ETA: We were posting at the same time....

That's a great point. I never understood why people feet the need for yelling.

 

[boomhauer]

The longer I sit here with no apology from her, the more hopeless I feel.

 

[onecoolmama]

Sounds like you're pretty well screwed then. Might as well get used to it.

This about sums it up!

 

[momof3disneyholics]

I think that you are really letting her run over you. You are suppose to be her partner, not her slave. Does she yell at you when her son is around too? If she does, that does not set a good example. Did she think about asking her mother for help instead of you? She does need to realize that you are working, not just goofing around. (well, except for when you're on the Dis )
I can't understand why she treats you like this and blames everything on you.

 

[boomhauer]

Did she think about asking her mother for help instead of you? She does need to realize that you are working, not just goofing around. (well, except for when you're on the Dis )
I can't understand why she treats you like this and blames everything on you.

Yeah, she called her mother and flipped out on her as well. I talked to her mother already. She basically treats both of us like dirt when things like this happen.

 

[Quackmore]

I'm a sad, weak and pitiful little man.

Women scare me, and I respond in the only way my tiny brain can think of, by acting like an obnoxious and immature child.

 

[Planogirl]

I would never let anyone treat me like this. I'm sorry that she needed windshield wiper fluid in her car right that minute but geesh!

I feel for you and wish you all the best.

 

[Ava83]

Sorry you are dealing with this.

And no men are not wrong ALL of the time.

 

[onecoolmama]

Im showing my DH this thread! He thought I was an HM!