Are dh and I just old fashioned?

[Evil Genius]

One of the ladies I work with husband is going to Italy. He is leaving her home with two little kids (1 year and 4 years) She will be taking the boys on vacation on her own sometime this year. Today, the girl I work next to tells me that her husband just called and told her that he is leaving Friday to go visit his brother in Canada and he will be gone a week, if not longer. They have a 5 year old. When I asked her why she wasn't going with him, she told me that she will be going to visit her mother later in the summer. By herself.

Now dh and I vacation together. We like to be together. I went twice by myself (once when we were dating, the second time for 4 days 2 years ago.) We both hated it and I couldn't wait to get home.

So is vacationing seperately just something that people do these days??

 

[Beth76]

I suppose they like to go to different places. I actually don't like traveling with my DH he's kind of a pain to travel with. Shhhh... I have taken a trip before without my DH or children. A 3-night cruise with my girlfriends. I've taken my first son to Philly before without DH to visit my sister. And I'm going to Chicago by myself later this summer to visit girlfriends. I do travel with my husband too.

 

[LoraJ]

Depends on the couple.

I'm not married, but I live with my boyfriend. I go on trips to see my family or friends and he doesn't always come along. He sometimes can't take off rom work. And now he can't really leave town at all since his dad is very ill.

There's a couple at work who take a couple of family vacations together, and then they take seperate vacations too. He goes golfing in SC with his buddies, and she'll take her son to Disney or maybe down to Brazil to see relatives.

 

[ktink]

We always take a vacation together as a family but I've gone on a little getaway twice w/out DH. Once on a cruise w/ my friend and one other time to the bahamas w/ dh's mom. Once a year dh has a horseshow that I attend sometimes but it depends on the dd's missing school and how the horseshow falls. I must say we really don't like being apart and it makes it hard when you're used to being together all the time and then go a week w/out seeing each other.

 

[froglady]

DH has gone away without me for trips, but only because:

1. I couldn't travel (he had to travel abroad for business during both of my pregnancies)

2. He is going to be doing something that I and the children have no interest in, and with nothing for us to do. He rows competitively, so is often at venues which have little for non-participants. I HAVE joined him in places like Charleston, however. These are usually long weekend type trips with "the guys."

I have made short trips without him, also. But I doubt I would be taking a vacation trip to Italy on my own, nor would he even THINK about it.

 

[marybet]

I have gone to visit my sons, but I don't really call that a vacation. DH used to go to Colorado hunting for 2 weeks when he was married before but he has not done that since we've been married. We like to vacation together, we are going on our 4th cruise in Nov. Also taking the whole family to WDW in June. Going to Alaska next year. I would not have a problem with him going hunting or on a golfing trip as long as we also vacation together.

 

[clh2]

This wouldn't bother me in the least.

If it matters, DH and I have been married 16 years.

If my DH needs to go see someone in his family (say his brother in PA), if we went together, we would both need to burn vacation time, as well as the travel expense. Plus - if he goes out there by himself, he can just stay with his brother. If the family goes, we need to stay at a hotel, which is more expense.

If I was to take a week of vacation to visit his family, and another week to visit mine, there would be no available time to handle "sick kids," or a family vacation for something I really would like to do i.e. a Disney Cruise.

 

[ElizaB39]

My parents have been married 48 years and they have taken many separate vacations. My uncle who is a pastor and has counseled many couples, says that in his opinion, the best gift my parents gave each other was their space. They have different interests, thus the different vacays. Now, they are usually not LONG vacays, but right after my dad retired, he went on a month long fishing trip to Africa. Mom went to FL instead and I think she even visited the mouse!

Methinks someday, me and DH will be doing the same just because we like to do different things sometimes too.

ETA: Oh yeah, mom went on a trip to Europe to see cathedrals two years ago with a friend, and and my mom and three sisters are going on a 3 week European trip this summer. Dad has no interest in these types of trips.

 

[WDWLVR]

Well DH and I must be old fashioned and like it that way. We enjoy our vacations together. The only time we don't travel together is when one of us has to go away on business.

Before we were married I traveled on my own and enjoyed it, but since we have so much in common vacation wise (we both love Disney) I can't see traveling without him. Each couple should do what works for them.

 

[ktpool]

I do both every year. We take at least one family vacation, often another at Christmas time to visit family.

BUT...dh goes hunting or to conventions for a week at a time and I go every year on a annual girls trip...best friends only. I also travel for business, and since my best friend is in the same business, we often end up at the same meeting or convention, and it is like a mini-vacation! PS..I agree with the poster that it is kind of a pain to travel with dh sometimes

So, I have the best of both worlds, I guess!

 

[DVC Sadie]

We vacation together and separately. My dh humors me once a year by going to WDW for at least 10 days as long as I go to WDW solo the rest of the year. Sometimes he goes up to Maryland to visit his family and I stay home to take care of the dogs. We always go together on our big vacations such as skiing or going to Hawaii.

 

[MouseWorshipin]

We do a few together, but mostly do our own thing.

DH's idea of a fun break is to wait for some animal to walk or swim by so that he can kill it, gut it, and eat it. I prefer theme parks or historical homes.

My parents have been vacationing on their own since 1969, so it didn't seem odd to me for us to do it.

 

[wdwmom2]

DH and I always vacation together, it's just the way we like it. He has went to a Nascar race without me once or twice, but that was because his friend only had enough tickets for a few people. I don't think that I have ever went anywhere of any importance without DH. Unless you count stopping at a local restaurant after work to eat hotwings with my coworkers!!!!! I guess we just enjoy each other's company.

 

[kdibattista]

I LOVE vacationing with my DH but we do also take one weekend away seperate. The girls go to the shore (next weekend ) and the guys go golfing in the mountains (weekend after Memorial Day). DH did go to Myrtle Beach for a week with his friends but that was a once in a lifetime thing. I would never go for more then a weekend.

ETA: We have no children yet.

 

[arminnie]

So is vacationing separately just something that people do these days??

People have been doing it for decades. It just depends on the couple.

I have a friend whose husband goes on major hunting trips to Montana and Canada. He loves his trips, it's an important part of his life. She on the other hand loves to go to NY for theatre.

I could list a dozen couples who have been happily married for 40+ years that have taken separate vacations. If a two people truly have really different interests, I can see how it would make sense. That doesn't mean that they haven't taken a whole lot of vacations together too.

I think there are a number of people on this board who have spouses who are not crazy about going to WDW. It would be a shame if they never got to go see Mickey again.

 

[KarenAylwood]

My parents vacation separately- when I was younger my mom and I would go on vacation together twice a year (April- spring break, and the end of August- both to Disney). My dad owns a small company and is a workaholic so never feels like he can leave it. They go on weekend trips to Newport, RI or Deerfield or something like that but vacation for 1 week not very often. We went to Hawaii when I was a senior in high school and about every other year they spend 3 days to a week in Las Vegas together.

In September my mom and I are going to Disney together and she came to visit me at my new apt in VA in October of last year without him- he had too much work.

I think it's pretty normal to vacation separately. DBF won't want to be going to Disney nearly as much as I do (and being in medical school he doesn't get the vacation time my job affords me) so I can see myself going a lot w/ my mom and eventually my children.

 

[arminnie]

Well DH and I must be old fashioned and like it that way. We enjoy our vacations together.

I've had the privilege to meet Mary and her husband Mark. What a great couple!! I can't imagine one without the other - they are such a great team.

 

[ducklite]

DH and I love each other as much as could be, but LET ME BREATHE!

We both feel that way. We're married, not Siamese Twins.

We pursue interests together and seperately. He's not as much of a traveler as I am, and I travel with friends now and then.

Oh, did I mention that he's up in NJ 2-3 weeks a month while I'm here in FL--and up in NYC a couple times a month?

Do we miss each other? At times. But we are both busy, busy, busy with our lives and careers.

I don't think that a husband and wife need to be superglued to each other to be happy.

We do take at least one vacation a year for a week or so together to just relax and regroup.

Anne

 

[RadioNate]

we do both. DH and I have very different vacation styles. While on vacation I want to DO SOMETHING. Go Go Go. That's why I like WDW.

DH one the other hand would sleep until noon, sit around the room and read a book, lounge by the pool, then go out to dinner at night. To me that is boring. I'm not flying somewhere and renting a hotel room so I can do things the same things that I can do at home.

DS and I also make a trip a year to visit my family in Chicago. DH doesn't have the vacation time. Last year he went to his sister's HS graduation w/out DS and I, we just couldn't afford for the 3 of us to make the trip.

We also take at least 1 week long 'family vacation' and one weekend getaway for just the 2 of us each year.

DH usually does a boys trip to Vegas (I strongly dislike Vegas) as well as several work related trips and I try to take a trip with the girls or with my mom.

 

[chicagodisneyfan]

We are deeply in love, but one of the reasons I believe our marriage is so terrific is that we do not spend every moment together.

So yes, we vacation separately at times. Its fun!

I would not say you are old fashioned - but if you tried it, you might like it.