Are average children

[DMRick]

You just described why we gave the OK for our son (now in his 30's) to be put in the g & t programs. And while I love him dearly (and he knows a lot more than I do), and he did ok in school and college, believe me, he was not what I would consider gifted. He was ahead of many others in his class at the time and they thought he would be bored..but mostly I think the teachers just really liked him, and so he got to go on some neat trips and do special projects

But in his school system, there are all sorts of different classes and activities that are available to only the "Gifted and Talented" kids. When the school recommended that my son be tested, we only did it because he wanted to get into a robotics program and that was one of the options available to the gifted kids. Several other parents I talked to felt the same way - they only bothered with the testing so their kids could go on the extra field trips and be pulled out for the neat classes and demonstrations. They didn't care about the actual test results. The parents who weren't interested in the extra classes and trips didn't bother with the testing. Very few parents wanted the tests because they thought their kids were actually geniuses; they just thought they would enjoy or benefit from the extra opportunities available to those classified as gifted.

Once the kids hit the older grades, the gifted program pretty much fades away because there's no point in it. By middle school and high school there are honors classes available and between those and things like Math Club and Robotics (which are open to all students whose grades are high enough) most kids don't need the special services any longer.

 

[Pooh Crew]

I think an important distinction to make is this: Being in the "gifted program" at school does not necessarily mean one's child is truly gifted.

I totally agree. Matter of fact, in our school, it seems that any child with a behavior issue gets thrown into the gifted/talented program. I'm thinking if little Johnny is so smart, why can he figure out how to sit still and be quiet in class.

My kids are all straight A students, but there is no way I'd let them even be tested for that program because I don't want them surrounded by that kind of influence. Fwiw, neither dh nor I were in gifted programs, but he skipped a grade and I graduated summa cum laude in accounting.

And just for the record, I think the name "gifted and talented" implies that other kids are ungifted and untalented. Maybe that, along with a misguided sense of self-importance, is what leaves such a bad taste in many people's mouths. But I could be wrong.

 

[DaisyD]

The average child certainly is a rare species on the DIS. LOL I have never seen so many claim their kid is above average, needs to be in higher levels, are gifted, and so on. I've never seen another board filled with as many gifted children. That and snowflakes.

 

[DMRick]

ROFLMFHAO

I'm going to show that I'm not gifted..or even that smart. I don't know what the MFH in the above stand for.

 

[DMRick]

Your hubby's IQ is in the teens?

My husband's IQ is in the teens and he has an MBA.
IQ means diddly as far as success in life. Hard work and finding what you want to do are more important.

 

[Basil of Baker St]

When a parent has a child that suffers from other kids cruelty, and see adults acting the same way, it raises the hair on the parents neck. This sort of behavior is taught. Seeing statement like, maybe your kids should be taught a sense of humor, IMHO is just pure ignorance. How about we teach people not to be cruel and respect another on occasion? Just sayin....

Yes people are cruel in life, its reality. That doesnt give permission to keep being cruel. If this was a race issue, this thread would have been deleted. Its okay to be cruel to a family with a gifted child though....

And of all places, A Disney Board.... The Irony

Please start with yourself. Your posts have been incredibly disrespectful.

And by the way, when children get teased their parents should absolutely tell them to buck up and deal with it. To not take it to heart. To brush it off and not even give it a second thought. If we teach them to get upset about every little thing another kid says to them, aren't we doing them a huge disservice?

 

[DaisyD]

I'm going to show that I'm not gifted..or even that smart. I don't know what the MFH in the above stand for.

I'm thinking MF is pretty obvious but I'll take a stab at the H. Huge? Humongous? Hmm idk.

 

[Magpie]

She is in the Middle Year International Baccalaureate Program. She was in a Charter School with an aggressive curriculum before. She took the state exam 1 year early, and she missed 1 question (Grant it, it was Arizona, not a bastion of education but still).

She's constantly is told, "youre gifted, you shouldnt have any problems" with a sneer. The kids tease her because she has good grades. Brainiac, You think youre so smart. etc... No, it isnt the kids in the MYIB program that tease her. Its always kids on an average curriculum. I use the word average because its the thread title btw. Not because I think that our education system is average

She plays piano, guitar, is a wonderful artist (had her pencil art described as text book quality by the Art Teacher for what that is worth), and has no plans to go to college. She wants to go to Cal Arts and do computer graphic design/animation (yes, my girl is a geek too). She was on the computer at 18 months old, using the mouse and keyboard for educational programs targeting 6 year olds, and she taught herself to read. This isnt just a parent EPeening a child who gets A's.

The ribbing she got when she was younger has made her even more shy then she already is. She even tries not to do so well so they wouldnt tease her. She felt if her grades suffered, some of the other kids wouldnt tease her. She was wrong of course, they just said

I thought you were gifted! HAHAHAHA they seem to celebrate when she doesnt succeed as they think she should because "She's Gifted". Honestly, I have come to despise that word.

When a parent has a child that suffers from other kids cruelty, and see adults acting the same way, it raises the hair on the parents neck. This sort of behavior is taught. Seeing statement like, maybe your kids should be taught a sense of humor, IMHO is just pure ignorance. How about we teach people not to be cruel and respect another on occasion? Just sayin....

Yes people are cruel in life, its reality. That doesnt give permission to keep being cruel. If this was a race issue, this thread would have been deleted. Its okay to be cruel to a family with a gifted child though....

And of all places, A Disney Board.... The Irony

This is where I think congregated gifted classes come in. Having a whole class full of - if not peers, at least kids in the same boat! - really helps insulate children from that kind of harassment.

I'm sorry you and your daughter are having such a hard time! Remind her that lots of people have a rough time in grade school, and university will be a LOT better.

One thing that helped my dd was teaching her to rather aggressively LIKE the people around her. It's a form of self-defense, as people have a very hard time being mean to someone who thinks (or at least gives the impression she thinks) that they're the neatest, coolest, most wonderful people in the world. I told my daughter, "School is not where you let it all hang out. It's not a place to be yourself. It's all a big social game, and you've got to learn the rules if you're going to survive."

 

[DMRick]

I'm thinking MF is pretty obvious but I'll take a stab at the H. Huge? Humongous? Hmm idk.

I would have gotten the MF part, if she was talking about someone else (you wouldn't say that about yourself, would you?)..then add the H, and I don't know what it means.

 

[Magpie]

Your hubby's IQ is in the teens?

I'm hoping she means the teens, plus a hundred!

 

[LisaR]

I think an important distinction to make is this: Being in the "gifted program" at school does not necessarily mean one's child is truly gifted. Many very bright kids are in gifted programs all over the country. Nothing wrong with that-they need the challenge.

All four of my kids were in the gifted program at their school. I know from living with and raising my children that only one is truly gifted, one is super smart, and the other two are very bright.

In any case, I am glad they all had the opportunity to be challenged in school when they needed it. Our schools have since cut out the gifted program.

This is VERY true! I was trying to figure out how to say it, but you said it better.

I am grateful for the gifted classes, and frankly I don't care if they want to call them "Advanced classes" or "Blue classes" or "Penguin classes". And I don't care if some of the kids in them are high achievers or work harder or have parents who drill them with flash cards.

You just described why we gave the OK for our son (now in his 30's) to be put in the g & t programs. And while I love him dearly (and he knows a lot more than I do), and he did ok in school and college, believe me, he was not what I would consider gifted. He was ahead of many others in his class at the time and they thought he would be bored..but mostly I think the teachers just really liked him, and so he got to go on some neat trips and do special projects

I think these are all excellent points and all three responses show parents that are doing what is best for their kids yet understanding that their kid isn't the smartest on the planet or a shoe-in for Harvard.

I also think gifted programs are a forced necessity in our school systems today and I am glad most schools offer them.

From reading other threads here on the Dis, your responses are not the norm. Gifted has a very different meaning to some of the parents on this forum.

 

[mickeyboat]

This is where I think congregated gifted classes come in. Having a whole class full of - if not peers, at least kids in the same boat! - really helps insulate children from that kind of harassment.

I'm sorry you and your daughter are having such a hard time! Remind her that lots of people have a rough time in grade school, and university will be a LOT better.

One thing that helped my dd was teaching her to rather aggressively LIKE the people around her. It's a form of self-defense, as people have a very hard time being mean to someone who thinks (or at least gives the impression she thinks) that they're the neatest, coolest, most wonderful people in the world. I told my daughter, "School is not where you let it all hang out. It's not a place to be yourself. It's all a big social game, and you've got to learn the rules if you're going to survive."

I have to disagree. I think having a whole class of kids in the same boat opens them up to more harassment. How is your daughter going to learn the rules to survive the social game if she is insulated from the rest of the school? Getting special treatment, trips, experiments, etc. leads to jealousy which leads to more harassment. I am starting to think pull out gifted programs do more harm than good for those gifted children.

 

[Basil of Baker St]

I have to disagree. I think having a whole class of kids in the same boat opens them up to more harassment. How is your daughter going to learn the rules to survive the social game if she is insulated from the rest of the school? Getting special treatment, trips, experiments, etc. leads to jealousy which leads to more harassment. I am starting to think pull out gifted programs do more harm than good for those gifted children.

I don't know - would you get rid of athletic programs b/c some kids are going to be jealous that they didn't make the team? Think about it - the team gets to travel to other schools and compete, they get school-wide recognition and special treatment - pep rallies, etc.

Kids are talented at different things - the kids who can excel at academics should have the opportunity to challenge themselves with a tougher curriculum. Being in a gifted program doesn't mean that they are in a bubble.

 

[dngnb8]

Please start with yourself. Your posts have been incredibly disrespectful.

Yes I have been. I have been disrespectful to people disrespecting and getting upset that I have pointed out their disrespect. This is a hypocrisy I can live with. Funny you only point out my disrespect

And by the way, when children get teased their parents should absolutely tell them to buck up and deal with it. To not take it to heart. To brush it off and not even give it a second thought.

What makes you think I dont? Your making some pretty broad presumptions about me because you dont like my pushing back. If you have some proof youre willing to share about these statements, I would be happy to offer an apology.

If we teach them to get upset about every little thing another kid says to them, aren't we doing them a huge disservice?

So youre now reporting on what I teach my child, in how to deal with these people? And what facts do you have to back this up other then making me out to be a villain for pointing out others cruelty? If so, again, I will be the first to apologize for my posts.

Something youre missing in youre evaluation above. Parents also stand up for their kids and attempt to bring information to the forefront so people see how their behavior may effect others. Maybe I should jump to a few conclusions about you and suggest you try it, or would that be disrespectful of me?

 

[christymarie]

I'm not usually over on this section but this thread caught my attention and I've been reading through all the posts. It seems like there are more and more people, not only on the Dis boards but also in "real" life who are talking more and more about their "gifted" children and about their children needing "special" attention. LOL, it's becoming a bit of a plague.

I have children who are both gifted (in the technical sense) and special needs (fully documented with diagnosis from top specialists in several teaching hospitals) and WE make the necessary changes. We do not go around demanding that everyone around us change. That is completely self centered and selfish and it teaching my children that life revolves around them, a very dangerous thing to teach them. If my child's needs means that we are unable to go to a specific restaurant we just don't go there, if it means that we can't stay at a hotel that has no elevators, we just don't stay there and if it means that we don't eat at a restaurant that serves a food they can't contact we just don't eat there. We make the changes.

Maybe having a "gifted" child makes you feel special, but from my perspective you may want to be careful what you wish for.

 

[eliza61]

The DIS is located in Lake Wobegone, you know - where all the women are strong, the men are handsome, and the children are above average.

I always say the dis is like the Emerald city.

No one is every in debt
No one's child ever misbehaves.
No one's child is below being a genius.

Who knew?

 

[dngnb8]

I'm not usually over on this section but this thread caught my attention and I've been reading through all the posts. It seems like there are more and more people, not only on the Dis boards but also in "real" life who are talking more and more about their "gifted" children and about their children needing "special" attention. LOL, it's becoming a bit of a plague.

Im not asking for "special" attention. Had you substituted a race, religion, even gender in the place of gifted, this thread would have probably been deleted.

Why is this class of people different?

 

[Robinrs]

The issue isnt the kid, its you IMHO. You admit you have no clue what they do, yet you seem to have this bitterness. This bitterness is from lack of information. What makes it worse is you choose to remain uninformed and defend the bitterness though lack of information. Youre choosing ignorance. Have you ever attended a Gifted Child Seminar? Probably not, and frankly, I didnt either until my child exhibited talents. It was an epiphany. I like you made uninformed judgments of my child holding on to the pervading misconceptions about gifted kids. I felt guilt for treating these kids with negative vibes through ignorance. I felt guilty as a parent for being harsh on my daughter, when it wasnt something she could readily control without counseling and training.

Having a child who is teased and has to deal with satirical comments at the age of 5, 8, 10 and even today at 14 does make me sensitive. You see, this sort of "satire" isnt reserved for forum threads. And its the adults to teach their children how to treat others. The funny thing is, its adults essentially being mean to kids, and teaching their kids to do the same

The only bitterness I've found on this thread has been in your posts.

You're obviously upset about the plight of your child well, HANG ON. Yours may be her "giftedness", other parents have other issues to deal with.

Now is the time to make it clear to her and YOURSELF that NO, life is NOT easy and everyone will not like you or appease you. Make life wonderful for your child in your world and remind her that she is never to find happiness from the rest of the world.

My mother was amazing in that fact, if I told you what I went thru you'd faint. It's all a matter of how she told me WHO to believe in. I live off that till this day and it's your turn to teach her, too.

Ignorant people will be in your history, you will be her constant. Don't get mad, get to work.

 

[SaraJayne]

Proud Mom of two awesomely average kids!

No labels here!

 

[wvjules]

ok, I gotta admit...my daugher is gifted at being average. I have a GABA child. lol