Are “good manners” a thing of the past?

[Boopuff]

Reading posts about the boorish behavior in the parks got me thinking, do people still teach their children manners? Or has it gone away with the dinosaurs? My years working in schools, I’ve seen a dramatic decline in basic manners. It just seems sad that children are disrespectful, rude (not all) maybe I’m just old and cranky!

 

[luvnwdwgal]

Good manners have gone just like morals. Parents are too busy working to teach their kids right from wrong. Not saying this is in every case, but certainly the majority it seems.

 

[runwad]

Yep sadly, they've gone the way of the dinosaurs

 

[CdnCarrie]

I usually find it’s the boomers that are the rudest and most entitled age group.
I guess it varies on your experiences and outlook.

 

[john7994]

There doesn't seem to be a societal incentive to behave with civility and honor these days - regardless of the origins or who you care to blame. Ever notice, the amazed reactions and "viral" nature of when someone does the "right" thing - its the exception not the rule. Cynical, but there we are. I don't think it means most people are behaving badly, but it does seem most aren't going out of their way to make an effort to help one another either.

 

[Jimmy Mouse]

I own a retail store and I deal with a lot of young customers. 2008 till about 5 years ago I did notice a lack of manners with the younger kids. Over the last few years I have also noticed that the high school kids that come into my store are polite about 90% of the time. I think it's better now that it was. The only problem I see is some people are making it harder to be polite. Last year at WDW as we walked into a store, I let my wife and kids in and 2 ladies in their mid 30's were right behind my family so as a gentleman I held the door for them. One of them snapped at me saying " I don't need no man holding the door for me" So I stepped inside the store and let the door close behind me. I didn't comment back because that would have just furthered their agenda. I did laugh a little bit lol.

 

[fab1976]

Would the bad manners being seen really be the kids at the parks though? Or the adults? I’m not sure we see a lot of rude behaving kids, more the adults who are.

 

[dreamer17555]

I see many adults misbehaving a lot more than I see kids. There are some serious entitlement going on with adults at the Disney park and I think it’s stems from so much the trips are costing- people are going in frustrated and assuming that their every whim should be catered to. Add on all the nickel and dime-ing that’s happening and people are just loosing it. I don’t think it’s OK at all but I understand where it’s coming from.

ETA- as for the younger generation being rude I will say generation Z will not tolerate things that previous generations have tolerated. They will totally call out bad behavior. Some people might see that being disrespectful but I think that’s fair. They shouldn’t be treated badly just because they’re younger.

 

[dreamer17555]

Also I think it depends on what you mean by good manners. Please and thank you have been ingrained in my kids since they were itty-bitty they do it without even thinking. They also are much more likely to notice when a cast member customer service rep is having a bad day and try and cheer them up. My eldest might be the one of the rare ones that writes out thank you cards.

On the flipside she has no problem saying hey mom that wasn’t appropriate or pointing out social injustice. Honestly she’s taught me to be a better person. I’m more aware of social issues because of her generation.

 

[CdnCarrie]

Good manners have gone just like morals. Parents are too busy working to teach their kids right from wrong. Not saying this is in every case, but certainly the majority it seems.

Are you seriously implying that the younger generation have less morals ? Wow. What a huge horrible blanket statement.
I can’t say what I really want to respond without serious points.
And blaming working parents?!
My kids have manners and morals and I work full time. Always have.

 

[Travel60]

Kids see their parents/politicians/business leaders/entertainment/sports figures behaving badly and behave accordingly. There is seemingly no accountability...no one cares what others think.

I was taught that RIGHTS go hand in hand with RESPONSIBILITIES. For every right there is a corresponding responsibility. (Examples...the right to free speech comes with the responsibility to speak the truth; the right to vote comes with the responsibility to understand the issues). Today, too many people seem to focus on their rights but don't want the responsibilities.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I usually find it’s the boomers that are the rudest and most entitled age group.
I guess it varies on your experiences and outlook.

Are you seriously implying that the younger generation have less morals ? Wow. What a huge horrible blanket statement.
I can’t say what I really want to respond without serious points.
And blaming working parents?!
My kids have manners and morals and I work full time. Always have.

Pot, meet kettle.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I think that people of all ages have become increasingly self-centered and less willing to give of themselves. Thankfully I still see a lot of stories of selflessness, and try to practice it myself when I can. It is a tough nut to crack though, especially where we have so much divisiveness today in our society. It’s a sad state of affairs, really. BTW it really doesn’t take much - a smile, a little bit of patience, helping someone in a small sense, can go a long way.

 

[Grand Koalafornian]

I think that the pandemic has had a huge effect on how people behave. Maybe people just forgot their manners after being isolated for so long. Or maybe they are so tired of being cooped up that they kind of go crazy. I see this more on the road than in person, though.

I only know a handful of kids anymore, but all of them are being taught basic manners like please and thank you. They are also being taught to speak up when someone is hurts them or something isn't right for them, which might be seen as rude in the past.

Finally, in my previous job (workers' comp) there were three things that helped me predict how likely someone was to be rude: 1) being between 50 and 65 years old was a minor predictor (maybe 20% more likely to be rude to me). 2) Making a lot of money was a slightly better predictor (maybe 40%). 3) The biggest predictor of rudeness (about 70%) was being toward the top of the totem pole in their organization, but not actually at the top. They were mostly major power-trippers. One once yelled at me for 20+ minutes for sending him a check that I was legally obligated to send him - and I sent the letter explaining that with the check - because he didn't ask for it. It's tax-free money, man, just enjoy it?

I think that a lot of the people who are able to afford WDW these days are more likely to be in that upper end of the ladder. They are used to getting their way, they are paying a lot, and on vacation, they answer to no one. It's a recipe for their worst behavior. Disney is pricing out a lot of the people who can't afford to be rude in their daily lives, so the ones with worse manners end up there in larger concentrations. If 1% of the people you run into are rude, it might not make much of a difference in your day. If it's 5%, that might be all you remember because they are louder and likely to be more in your face than the people quietly enjoying their day.

Wow, this was much longer than I planned. If you made it this far, congrats! I might be procrastinating on schoolwork right now.

 

[MillauFr]

I work for a city transportation agency. The younger residents are generally polite. It is the older retirement aged residents that demonstrate extreme levels of entitlement and bad manners. If I had a dollar for every homeowner who told me that the renters' opinion shouldn't matter, I would be rich.

 

[VandVsmama]

Every generation has said this for pretty much forever.

 

[superme80]

I just think as a society we have become rude in general.

 

[C&Jx2]

Another issue is that it's very subjective.

 

[Christine]

From my perspective, it's not generational. I see it across all age brackets but I'll agree with some that it seems more prevalent at the older ages. But I guess I'm not talking "manners" really because these same people could say "please" and "thank you" all over the place, but immediately turn into screamers if they have perceived something has not gone their way. There's a difference so not sure what the OP was talking about. Just out and about on my daily errands I find many people to be self-centered and rude, uncaring, and all about themselves. Granted, there are a few great people I run into and that gives me hope. I don't know what has spurred the change in behavior. It hasn't happened suddenly. I often put it down to the generic "social media." I feel like it got it's roots many, many years ago with people behaving badly in public on reality TV (usually rich types) and then the great unwashed average people who watch these shows, think it's cool somehow. It has spread like wildfire really. Then all the viral videos of Kens and Karens and people getting attention for that has just made some people think it's the norm I guess. But again, I don't think it's kids so much as adults.

And just for the record, I was always a full-time working parent. Raised two children who are now adults and they know all their manners. I wasn't too busy working to parent. My mom, in the 1960s, held 3 jobs and was divorced and I was in someone's care all the time and, yes, those people along with my mother and later my stepfather (who also worked) taught me manners and decency. So, what a ridiculous statement. I'm sure there are some parents who work full-time and those that have parents who sit on the couch and eat bon bons all day who have failed to raise their kids correctly.

 

[slo]

Ugghhh…..yes yes and yes

I‘ve been with all ages of kids for a long time.
I used to manage teenagers in retail for 25 years
I’ve coached my DD18’s softball teams for 11 years
I manage a chiropractor’s office where people bring their children in (all ages)

The difference in kids manners from the past to today is shockingly so bad. I can get on my pulpit about this, but I don’t have the time. So many parents need to understand they are doing their kids no favors by allowing this behavior - take charge and raise your kids to have manners, be polite, be respectful of people‘s feelings and property and that everything is not all about them. They may not like you for it when they are young, but they will be grateful for it when they are older.