Appropriate Punishment?

[buzzlady]

DS12 must check in with me every hour. If he doesn't check in with me he is grounded 1 day for every hour that he didn't check in. Fair?

 

[Amberle3]

I would think it would depend on the circumstances. Checking in every hour during a movie would be a little disruptive, for instance.

Does he have a cell phone to use? Otherwise he'll have to make sure he's by a phone every hour.

I was brought up (by my mother) to be very considerate with regards to where I was etc. I'd call her after school if I wasn't going straight home or to her office. I had to let her know where I was going and who I would be with, and how long I would be. If I was going to be any later than that (for whatever reason) I had to call and let her know.

Hmm, actually I still do all those things! Whether its with my mom or my fiance! Guess I've just incorporated it as courtesy.

I would think that every hour might be a little much. What about every 2 hours? Gives him a little more freedom but still the responsibilty, without him feeling like he's chained to a phone or being watched long distance.

 

[buzzlady]

Sorry, this is for when he is outside in the neighborhood with his friends. My thinking is that I don't want him going off anywhere too far so that if in an emergency I had to leave the house I would be able to find him. He doesn't have a phone because he's not responsible enough.

 

[Chicago526]

I too think once an hour is a bit too much. Once every two or three hours would be better. Teens need to feel some sense of freedom and responsibility.

 

[Microcell]

Originally posted by buzzlady
Sorry, this is for when he is outside in the neighborhood with his friends. My thinking is that I don't want him going off anywhere too far so that if in an emergency I had to leave the house I would be able to find him. He doesn't have a phone because he's not responsible enough.

I think if you can't trust him to stay where he says he will be then you are being more than fair. It may teach him responsibility to call in.

Of course I always tell my DD that I am strict so that when she does not want to do something the others want her to do ( ie smoking or drinking) that they will not be surprised that I would be too harsh in punishment for her to dare be doing something wrong.
I obviously fall in the overly harsh category, but I figure DH and I are her moral compass until she can figure out her own.

 

[NMAmy]

I had a rule like this as well until I got DD a cell phone. If I couldn't see her from our house, she'd better check in and let me know where she was going. And if she did not do that, she had to come in immediately for the rest of the day.

We lived in an area with townhouses--all the kids played together and the neighbors all sit outside. So when I called her for dinner or to come in, I'd have several neighbors helping me holler and telling me what area of the yard she was in!

 

[oogieboogie]

1 hour = 1 day grounding?

Sounds a bit much for me. How bout every 2 hours and the grounding would be 1 day without video games/computer/tv or 1/2 day full grounding.

 

[mommytutu]

I think it depends on what activities are going on in the neighborhood. If it's a safe neighborhood (no suspicious characters or busy streets) and he's a responsible kid out playing football in the neighbor's yard, you could probably cut him some slack, but you are the mom and you make the rules and you enforce the rules, so do what you're comfortable with and be consistant.

I fall into the strict catagory. My mom has said many times she feels sorry for my kids (especially ds) and my parents give me a hard time because of some of the discipline I hand out. One of my favorite "disciplines" is extra homework or chores. Instead of taking video games (his most prized possession) away I'll just find something else to fill his time with and lots of worksheets fill it up nicely and he benefits from it.

 

[Toby'sFriend]

It would drive me nuts to have the phone ring every hour.

I also invested in a cell phone for my older kids. It is the best $10 a month we spend.

 

[Chicago526]

How about giving him a pager? You can page him to call you (and ramdomly at that, it'll keep him on his toes!) if you need to reach him, without bother him OR you on an hourly basis. Don't give him the pager number, and he then can't give it out to anyone else.

 

[rbuzzotta]

I think it is somewhat reasonabble............. my DD (13) needs to check in with us (she has a cell phone) when she is out with her friends..............we tell her a time to call back and if she doesn't........then she gets grounded. She must be where she says she is too.............if not............she's grounded.

Needless to say, she was grounded for the first few weeks of the summer..............it is getting better and she is becoming more responsible. It worked for us!!!

 

[aprilgail2]

Every hour and he doesn't have a cell phone?? I think that is a bit much. I would see every two hours or so....but every hour and him not having a cell phone is to much.