Appropriate gift for Sun afternoon wedding?

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[jrmasm]

I find it suspect that with all the information being the same, the type of wedding (i.e. backyard or formal black tie) seems to make a huge difference in how much money they recommend spending. Apparently people who have receptions in their backyards are not as worthy as formal black tie people

Isn't that disgusting?

No way I'm giving a gift of $200 or more to a non relative. Heck I doubt I'd give that much to most of my relatives.

 

[Anthony1971]

Gifts differ everywhere..
Here in the Northeast weddings are expensive and so are the gifts.. this is especially true in the NY central NJ and central CT areas or what is considered the tri state area
The average gift at a wedding is 200.00 yes some give less and some give more..
so I would plan on giving at least that
if they are close 250-300
very close 400-500
if we do not atend a wedding here we send between 100-300 mostly 100-150but 300 for a close person in between get an amount in between etc...

as far as the cost yes Sunday is the cheapest in general 15-25 a head less then a Sturday night- but still at most places on LI a Saturday night is 80 to start with an open top shelf bar at the reasonable places and up--less if a buffet and also a discount for # of people...that is food only-- lets not forget the DJ easly 1500 and up flowers on the tables and many other things

 

[3BoysRDisneyFreaks]

I don't feel like I should have to pay for the brides expensive tates. I think that is just crazy. I can't imagine spending that much as a wedding gift. Just crazy.

 

[SaraJayne]

Gifts differ everywhere..
Here in the Northeast weddings are expensive and so are the gifts.. this is especially true in the NY central NJ and central CT areas or what is considered the tri state area
The average gift at a wedding is 200.00 yes some give less and some give more..
so I would plan on giving at least that
if they are close 250-300
very close 400-500
if we do not atend a wedding here we send between 100-300 mostly 100-150but 300 for a close person in between get an amount in between etc...

as far as the cost yes Sunday is the cheapest in general 15-25 a head less then a Sturday night- but still at most places on LI a Saturday night is 80 to start with an open top shelf bar at the reasonable places and up--less if a buffet and also a discount for # of people...that is food only-- lets not forget the DJ easly 1500 and up flowers on the tables and many other things

Aaaannnnddd, that is all part of having a wedding.

Guests are not expected to pay for what the bride wants. The couple (or most likely Mommy and Daddy) can pony up the money for what the bride wants. I had never in my life heard the concept of "cover your plate" as a gift. If the bride wants lobster and caviar for her wedding, she can pay for it, as the HOSTESS.

If it's soooo expensive to have a wedding on LI (like we hear all the time on the board) go somewhere else.

 

[JennCa]

I don't think I could afford to go to wedding then!

I gave my brother $1000 for his wedding, but my cousin I only gave $50. I think it depends on many other factors besides the "going rate."

I find it tacky that you get invited to go to a wedding and then it is expected to spend a certain amount.

By the way, when I was married in 1995 I received about one third gifts from my registry, one third cash (all from family members) and the rest stuff I didn't even register for. I would have said that my average gift was around $30 value.

Jenn

 

[amylynne01]

If you think what you can afford and what you personally feel is appropriate for you to give is the criteria to use, then do that.

This.

I don't feel like I should have to pay for the brides expensive tates. I think that is just crazy. I can't imagine spending that much as a wedding gift. Just crazy.

And this.

I will spend what I feel comfortable spending on a gift for someone else. My gift should not change because it's Sunday afternoon or Tuesday morning or it's in the park or in the courthouse or at the beach.

I refuse to fall into the "cover your plate" gift if the bride and groom choose to have an expensive meal. What if I can't afford to cover my plate if they chose a $100 per plate meal? Not my problem since the couple invited me to be a part of their special day, meaning they foot the bill. If I invited some family over for a party, I pay for the meal and the entertainment.

 

[Anthony1971]

Aaaannnnddd, that is all part of having a wedding.

Guests are not expected to pay for what the bride wants. The couple (or most likely Mommy and Daddy) can pony up the money for what the bride wants. I had never in my life heard the concept of "cover your plate" as a gift. If the bride wants lobster and caviar for her wedding, she can pay for it, as the HOSTESS.

If it's soooo expensive to have a wedding on LI (like we hear all the time on the board) go somewhere else.

That price is not for Lobster and Caviar it is for chicken and fish...

As I said in the first line things differ everywhere in the tri-state area this is what everyone does...
I could rip apart the traditions in your area but I underestand that is how things are done where you are just as you need to understand this how things are her.....
I did not expect anyting for my wedding except for people to come if they gave me a gift gerat if they could not give anything fine a card with best wished is great but they all did as I listed that is what we do here and this thread is about that not about what you do.

 

[Sora777]

recently married on long island...If its you and your husband attending, minimum I would give is $200. that being said, we received gifts ranging from $200 to $1000 from friends/family (not including our parents)

 

[Anthony1971]

To further expand
NO ONE is saying this what people have to do but this is what is done in the NY area.

 

[Ava]

I recently found myself wondering the same thing. I came across this site. I hope it helps. www.theweddingenvelope.com

OMG, that is the best idea for a website. I've been invited to a co-worker's wedding on LI & have been trying to decide how much we should give, as I've never been to a wedding in this area before. Thank you for posting!

ETA: I think the calculator has a few kinks still to work out. I just did a calculation for another wedding we've been invited to, also in NY, in Nov & it told me we should give $30! I'd never give so little for a wedding gift.

 

[secretpantssam]

I just got engaged and have been looking into wedding prices. Though Sundays do offer a lower rates, it's not every venue and it's only about $10 a head. So I wouldn't go too much lower than a Saturday night wedding gift.

 

[secretpantssam]

I was fearing that calculator but it actually says I overpaid at my friend's wedding a month ago. Don't I look like the big spender!

 

[okeydokey]

Man, remind me to decline any invite to a wedding on LI. It's a shame too, to not attend a wedding of someone you care about because you can't afford to pay for your meal.

 

[SaraJayne]

Man, remind me to decline any invite to a wedding on LI. It's a shame too, to not attend a wedding of someone you care about because you can't afford to pay for your meal.

Every time I read threads like this, I'm so GLAD I don't know anyone on LI.

 

[Anthony1971]

Man, remind me to decline any invite to a wedding on LI. It's a shame too, to not attend a wedding of someone you care about because you can't afford to pay for your meal.

I would hope that no one gets married expecting evryone who comes to give $$$. I would hope that you would go to a wedding and were invited to a wedding for you being there not for a gift....

I had my wedding on LI and it is the NY area in general as LI is no more expensive..In fact I had on LI because it was cheaper then other places we were looking at

 

[rantnnravin]

It's not as if those of us who live/marry on LI are opening the cards and saying: "What cheapskates, they didn't even pay for their meal." It is simply a guideline that those of us attending weddings use to gauge an approximate amount for a gift. As the trend has shifted towards couples paying for their own weddings, it's become the norm to try to help the couple start off with a little nest egg and not be in debt - or have their savings depleted - for their celebration. It's just how we do things.

 

[Shleedogg]

how does the date and time of a wedding change the type of gift you provide?

Price per head. Generally your gift should cover the cost of you attending. Weddings are cheaper on a Sun afternoon than on say, a Saturday night. In our area, prices are cheaper. $100 is usually what we give. On LI? Things definitely cost more there. Not knowing what the going rate is there, I would venture a guess at at least $200.

 

[mjkacmom]

Wait, were you serious??

I don't think I've ever in my entire life given more than $100 as a wedding gift (and that was for my sisters).

That amount of money is ridiculous for a wedding gift.

It may be rediculous where you live, but I assure you, this is the norm here. I gave my sister $500.

 

[mjkacmom]

IBy the way, when I was married in 1995 I received about one third gifts from my registry, one third cash (all from family members) and the rest stuff I didn't even register for. I would have said that my average gift was around $30 value.

Jenn

I got married in 1995, too. The only actual gifts I received were from DH's family from MA - the rest was cash, $200 was the average. My grandmother gave me $1000, my parents, sister, and IL's gave $500.