Appropriate amount to spend for wedding/graduation gifts??

[LoriKay]

We are going to be invited to a graduation and a wedding for two of our neighbors sons. We are friendly with these people, i.e. watch over each others houses while on vacation, invited to holiday open houses, etc. but we don't run around with them. I'm unsure about what amount of cash would be appropriate for a high school graduation and what amount I should spend for a wedding gift. I'd appreciate any and all opinions. Thanks!

 

[100%Disney]

Tough question, it would depend on your budget also. I would say about $25 for each, if you look for sales you can get a beautiful wedding gift that's looks like you paid more than you did. As for the Grad. I would give him cash, I'm sure he will be going on some sort of graduation trip and will need cash.

 

[mtemm]

We usually give $100 for wedding, a bit more for a very close friend. But that is the norm where we are...that does vary a lot. If you are buying a gift check out their registry, then keep an eye on sales. You can get some good deals, especially w/additional coupons if they are registered at a dept. store.

graduation I think $25-50 would be okay. If you want to do a gift I know my mom monogramed a set of towles for a graduation gift for a friend's daughter...great if he is going off to college and will be living in a dorm. That and maybe a duffle bag or laundry bag would be a nice gift.

 

[jel0511]

Boy do I wish I didn't live in NJ right now. If I was in your situation, I'd give $100 for the graduation and $200 for the wedding, that's pretty much the going rate around here. I gave my neighbors son a $100 savings bond for his First Communion!! I need to move!!!

 

[cindala]

Originally posted by jel0511
Boy do I wish I didn't live in NJ right now. If I was in your situation, I'd give $100 for the graduation and $200 for the wedding, that's pretty much the going rate around here. I gave my neighbors son a $100 savings bond for his First Communion!! I need to move!!!

Boy, do I hear ya!!!! Things are really out of control in NJ! We have a wedding to attend in June, and it looks like both of my DD's will also be invited, so of course the gift has to be bigger.

 

[Kirby]

Wow, I'm glad I don't live where ya'll do. I'd go broke!

I give $10 for a high school graduation and $25 for college. As far as wedding gifts, I look to see where they are registered for the colors they have chosen and purchase a set of towels at Target in that color. Target has a brand that I like and have found to be very durable.

 

[TIdoublegaER]

I agree with 100%Disney. I think $25 for the graduation is just fine and maybe a little more on the wedding. At the going rates back east, I think I would be a hermit at $100 for a first communion and $200 for a wedding gift! I don't think I spent that much on my SISTER's wedding gift!!

 

[Betsyt82]

My standard is 25 for graduation, 50 for a wedding of not close friends, 100 for close friends and realitives. It is a nice standard that we have and most of our circle of friends do about the same.

 

[cindala]

Originally posted by Kirby
Wow, I'm glad I don't live where ya'll do. I'd go broke!

Wait till you here this! My real estate taxes are $8,000 a year, and my car insurance is just about $8,000 too! That could be a whole other thread!!

 

[Dopey Sharon]

Originally posted by jel0511
Boy do I wish I didn't live in NJ right now. If I was in your situation, I'd give $100 for the graduation and $200 for the wedding, that's pretty much the going rate around here. I gave my neighbors son a $100 savings bond for his First Communion!! I need to move!!!

You must be from North Jersey...here in South Jersey the going rate for graduation is about $25...weddings I usually give $100.

 

[jel0511]

Cindala -

I can beat your real estate taxes..... $11,000 here!!

I'm in Central Jersey, near Princeton.

 

[caitycaity]

we usually give $100 for a wedding (more for close friends/family) and $50 for graduation.

 

[CamColt]

I would do $25.00 for hs graduation and 100.00 for a wedding.

 

[ead79]

Around here I think most people give $25-$50 for a graduation (depending on budget and how well you know them). I am not sure the exact price of typical wedding gifts, but I would guess about $75 on average. As an upcoming bride myself, I would urge you to purchase something the bride and groom have registered for (if they have registered). It really saves the hassle of a lot of returns, and usually people register for stuff in all price ranges (I know my registry items start at about $2 and go to $250 will all sorts of stuff in between).

 

[Mskanga]

Originally posted by cindala
Wait till you here this! My real estate taxes are $8,000 a year, and my car insurance is just about $8,000 too! That could be a whole other thread!!

We lived in Northern NJ too and that's the reason why we moved 8 years ago. But geez, $8.000 a year in car insurance....how many cars do you have??

 

[Princess_Aurora]

Man, I wish I would've invited some of you guys to my graduation and wedding (both of which were just a few months apart). My family is extremly CHEAP! I think I would've been lucky if I got a combined total of $100 from my entire family. DH family on the other hand were much more generious but I think only his grandparents gave us $100.

What I would suggest is $25 for graduation (cash is a GREAT idea because HS graduates need all the cash they can get!) and $100 for a wedding is good...after all, it's a gift for two people so it should be worth twice as much...but that's only if you want to give them cash or a GC somewhere. You can always just pick something off their registry that fits within your budget.

 

[Mishetta]

We base our gift on the party. If it's a home party we'll give about $35, if it's at a restaurant or banquet hall, we give $50 for graduation.

For a wedding gift, the minimum would be $100 since we'd at least want to cover the price of our "dinners." Of course, we live in Michigan....if we lived in NY, then $100 would cover one person's dinner!

Some of these posts have me wondering what a wedding in New Jersey would cost!!

 

[ToyStory Fan]

Allow me to try and shed some light here on the NJ wedding gift $$ amounts...because in NY it's about the same. The way it works in our family/circle of friends it's usually $200 min. for a wedding. (not trying to sound snobby, but here's the reasoning) Some times the bride's parents are not the one's footing the bill for the wedding, so it would be somewhat inconsiderate to not even "cover your plate" for the wedding. Depends on the place too, usually Country Club weddings are all fluff and still very pricey. But if you've ever been to a wedding in the NY/NYC at a plce called Russo's on the Bay (you NY/NJ folks can back me on this one), you almost don't mind giving the "big" envelope, because that place is TOP SHELF as far as catering halls go. Having been in the wedding business (I was a stage manager/booking agent for a local wedding band) you get to know how much weddings go for, prime wedding season-spring and fall, it is not unusual for per person prices to be upwards of $125 (just for the catering hall). That means a $200 gift nets the couple a loss of $50 (not to mention the band, photographer, video, flowers and limos). So, in my head and the way "we" have been conditioned to think about is to at least cover your plate, and if a really good friend you can kick in a little extra. Graduation, probably $50. Believe me I'm not always happy about it, but hopefully that de-mystifies the difference in price in the gifts $$ in our area.

 

[disykat]

I think the idea of "covering your plate" is disgusting (yes, I did say "disgusting"! I'm talking about the idea of it, not those of you who do it.). I think if that's the case I'll just be staying home from fancy weddings if I don't feel like spending the money. Or gee, maybe if I can't attend the wedding I'll no longer give gifts to those people. If I'm not going, why pay the "entrance fee"?

I hate to think that gift giving is no longer about "giving" a gift to someone to show that you wish them well but rather about "payback" for the price of their party.

When we got married we planned something we could afford. We wanted our friends and family there and wouldn't have cared if they brought gifts or not. Surely this is how most brides and grooms feel?

 

[snoopy]

$50 for graduation, $100 for a wedding.

And I have to agree w/ disykat, I think the whole thing of "covering the plate" is so tacky. My SIL kept TRACK of that when she got married, and THIS IS NO LIE, wrote down in her wedding album who "covered their plate" and who didn't.

When I got married 16 years ago, wedding etiquette wasn't quite so snobby. I was just happy that people came out to spend our big day with us.