Appropriate amount to spend for wedding/graduation gifts??

[GEM]

I usually give around $25 for graduation, more for a close relative and I usually buy something off the register for a wedding. I usually end up spending around $100 on wedding gifts - although I spent more on my brother and sister. That seems to be a little above the norm around here.

When my husband and I got married a few years ago, the cash gifts we got were anywhere between $20 and $100, with most of them being around $50. We did get several gifts over $100, but only from close relatives - my grandmother, aunts, etc. $50 seemed to be the amount we got most often. We also got a lot of truly bizarre gifts, including a plastic orchid and a set of lime green throw pillows that didn't match a single thing in our home. This is a small town rural area in the south, so maybe that has something to do with it. We also had a lot of people at the wedding who didn't give a gift at all. It really didn't bother me. We invited them there to share our day, not for the gift.

By the way, my husband and I paid for every bit of the wedding, reception, and honeymoon ourselves. We had a morning wedding with a luncheon reception afterwards. That was kind of unusual, though. Around here, cake and punch receptions are still pretty much the norm.

 

[disykat]

ToyStoryFan, I'm probably one of the ones you felt attacked by. I truly am not trying to attack you, but the idea. You are certainly not the only person I have ever heard this from - so I know you are not alone in your feelings. That doesn't stop me from being offended by the notion. Please don't see it as a personal attack - I just have very different feelings about the issue.

I still find the idea of increasing the size of the gift because someone is throwing a pricier party offensive. I find the idea of speculating how much they are spending tacky. That doesn't mean I'm attacking you for feeling differently - I'm just trying to express a strong opinion.

 

[mtemm]

ToyStoryFan, I'm probably one of the ones you felt attacked by. I truly am not trying to attack you, but the idea. You are certainly not the only person I have ever heard this from - so I know you are not alone in your feelings. That doesn't stop me from being offended by the notion. Please don't see it as a personal attack - I just have very different feelings about the issue.

I think you misunderstood toystoryfan's post. Here she states that she does not feel attacked, and would not raise of lower her gift based on where the wedding was.

For those from the area I appreciate your backing, but I do not feel as if I am being attacked. I was simply trying to explain what some others considered an exorbitant gift, or the gesture of covering your plate.

I am not suggesting that I would raise or lower my gift based on where it was (catering hall or picnic)... that's what you wanted, or all you could afford fine, but as a guest I would NEVER lower my gift amount as a result of where your party was or wasn't.

 

[disykat]

You're right. Sorry, I read it fast and missed the "not".

 

[Kirby]

Wow, this thread is hilarious! This is the first time that I have heard of "covering the plate". Sit down dinners and dancing is becoming more the norm around here. In fact, I haven't been to a wedding in years that just had cake and punch at the reception.

I will be attending a wedding in Austin in May for my niece. She is going all out for this. The hotel that the reception is in offered her a discount of $160 a night for out of town guests. Guess where we won't be staying. It seems such a waste of money to spend that much on a wedding. But to each his own....

I have already told my son and daughter that one day when they decide to get married, if they choose to have a small wedding, we will glady pay for a very nice honeymoon. I would rather spend the money on a week's worth of enjoyment than for a couple of hours that you mostly won't remember without the pictures.

Oh, I forget who brought this up. I pay around $1500 for my homeowner's insurance and $1140 for my car insurance with full coverage for a year. Our property taxes run about $2500 a year but we live in the county so its a little less.

 

[ToyStory Fan]

Not a problem...I don't feel attacked at all. BTW though, I am a he not a she.

 

[mtemm]

BTW though, I am a he not a she.

Man, I knew I was going to get nailed for that! Sorry!