Apologies to the lady in purple--and a small rant!

[minkydog]

I took my DD13 and 3 of her dearest friends to see POTC2 today. They had a ball and I may be nominated for Mother of the Year As we were leaving the theater, they were in high spirits and carelessly brushed past a woman my age near the exit. I heard the lady huff and turned around to see that she was mad. Not just mad, livid. She was just about spitting, so I immediately spoke to the girls and they stopped running. I apologized to the lady for them having hit her(and it was my intention to have them apologize too--I was behind them.) She said, " Some kids don't know how to behave." I apologized again and agreed they had been thoughtless. She wasn't having any of that--"Some parents need to do a better job of disciplining their kids" and she stomped off.

When I caught up with the girls I guess they could see my stunned face and I told them that the lady in purple was pretty upset because they had just about run over her. I suggested(read: required!) that they follow her and apologize. They girls caught up with her in the ladies room and very nicely offered three apologies. At first the woman just sneered at them and went "hmmph!" So they tried again--keep in mind this woman was taller than all 3 girls and out-weighed them by about 150lb. She was rather intimidating, but they did their best to apologize. Finally she took their apology with a terse "okay" and marched out. All three girls were nearly in tears. It was a sad ending to an otherwise perfectly fun day.

Now here's the vent: When 3 young girls do wrong and take responsibility, I think that an adult should be gracious about it and accept the apology without a lot of drama. They didn't knock her down and steal her purse! She wasn't hurt, except her feelings. These girls are all 13yo. They aren't gang members, they're Girl Scouts, swimmers, singers, and church members. They made an error in judgement not a mafia hit. Don't you think an adult could "show them how it's done" rather than grind them down and push their noses in it?

 

[Tazicket]

Good grief!! I wonder if something else had already happened to her to make her upset before the girls bumped her. I'm shocked at what she said to you and even more shocked at her reaction to getting the apologies from the girls. What a jerk.

 

[ducklite]

Although she had the right to be annoyed, it sounds like she was a nutcase. Seems like a good lesson to the girls on how to graciously accept an apology versus acting like a witch with a capital B.

Anne

 

[ZipaDeeDooDah]

If you ask me, the purple people eater lady is the one who needs to be taught some manners and lessons in behavior.

 

[WDWfan36]

I think the lady in purple has some problems. I mean they did say sorry.

 

[irishbosoxfan]

You would think that wouldn't you In todays day and age when not enough kids have parents to drill manners,courtesy and respect into them to have an adult blow off an apology from a child is rididculous
It sets the tone of "why bother if it isn't appreciated" and makes the child not feel like it is the proper thing to do
If it had been me I would have accepted her apology and maybe added "just be more careful in the future" to let her know the apology was appreciated but the act which caused the apology was not

 

[minkydog]

Thank you! I feel better. I was beginning to wonder if I just had a screw loose or if this is the way people just are these days. I had to shore up the girls after this incident and let them know that I was proud of their attempts to apologize and I thought this lady didn't handle her end very well. You know what they said "It's okay. She's probably having a bad time in her life."

It's a weird day when 13yo's have more sense of compassion than an adult.

 

[eclectics]

If you ask me, the purple people eater lady is the one who needs to be taught some manners and lessons in behavior.

Some people are just never placated. If they don't accept your apology graciously the first time, chances are, they never will. Best to just move on and let it go. The girls were very nice to try to make ammends to the purple people eater.

 

[SDFgirl]

OOOOOOHHHH! This makes me mad! Sure, the girls made a mistake, but for this lady to be so huffy burns me up.

I am a teacher, and I tell my students that everyone makes mistakes (Even me! They love that.) The most important thing, I tell them, is how you act AFTER your mistake. Did the girls take responsibility? (YES). Did they make amends? (YES). Did they learn from their mistake? (I'M SURE!).

A true apology should always be accepted. Hugs to you and your daughter.

 

[TheDisneyTraveler06]

This lady was quite rude. Yourself and the 3 girls appologized numerous times. That should be enough. Like you said- It's not like they were trying to steal her purse! Some people, like the lady in purple, need to be taught some manners! How rude!

 

[cardaway]

It's entirely possbile the woman was already upset when your children brushed her. Many theaters showing POTC have been full of kids that have ruined the movie for others.

She really should have accepted the apology, that is just weird, so it's also possible she is just a butthead.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

I think that one true apology from the girls was plenty. The lady needed some lessons on manners--not you or the girls. They were kids with too much enthusiasm, were called on it, and made ammends. What more can a person ask fo?. They seem like the type to learn their lesson, too. Sorry their day was marred, but they did learn a couple important lessons.

 

[tmt martins]

If that would have been my Dd and a few of her friends and the Nice OLE Lady made one cry after repeatedly saying sorry in the bathroom.

She would have ended up with a twrilly top hair do to go with that tornado additude.

 

[LindsayDunn228]

It's a weird day when 13yo's have more sense of compassion than an adult.

Playing Devil's Advocate, didn't you tell them to go apologize?

 

[lucyanna girl]

As a mother who often takes DD and her friends to the movies and other places, I think it is the purple grumpy lady who needs to learn some manners. Hugs to you and the girls.

Penny

 

[KozmicLee]

Some people are better at being indignant than they are at being gracious. It's the Purple Lady's loss, the girls did their best and are to be commended.

 

[teacherforhi]

Playing Devil's Advocate, didn't you tell them to go apologize?

Actually, I was thinking this. The OP apologized first and then had to tell the girls to follow the woman and apologize. It isn't as if they bumped into her and immediately apologized.

 

[Daxx]

The girls apologized and did the right thing by following the woman to make their apologies heard.

Thank goodness I wasn't there b/c I would've been tempted to say to the woman in purple "Now it's your turn to show them how an adult graciously accepts the apology" just to embarrass the crap out of her for her childish response to their apology.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

Actually, I was thinking this. The OP apologized first and then had to tell the girls to follow the woman and apologize. It isn't as if they bumped into her and immediately apologized.

I assumed that it was a matter of the girls being a bit clueless, in a hurry, bouncing around as girls (and boys) their age sometimes do. They probably weren't really aware that they bumped her (maybe knew they did it on one level, but just not thinking about it until it was brought to their attention).

I've been bumped into by others plenty of times and I've never made a big deal about it. The most I've ever said to anyone, adult or child was, "excuse me", sometimes in a bit of a frustrated voice as if they should be saying the excuse me.

And hopefully the girls will be more aware next time and will be more careful and when they aren't, will offer an apology right away. They are learning, but the woman (hardly a lady) should have been more gracious.

 

[minkydog]

I assumed that it was a matter of the girls being a bit clueless, in a hurry, bouncing around as girls (and boys) their age sometimes do. They probably weren't really aware that they bumped her (maybe knew they did it on one level, but just not thinking about it until it was brought to their attention).

I've been bumped into by others plenty of times and I've never made a big deal about it. The most I've ever said to anyone, adult or child was, "excuse me", sometimes in a bit of a frustrated voice as if they should be saying the excuse me.

And hopefully the girls will be more aware next time and will be more careful and when they aren't, will offer an apology right away. They are learning, but the woman (hardly a lady) should have been more gracious.

This is exactly it. They are a bit clueless, as are most kids at 13. They didn't realize they had pushed the lady and were genuinely sorry when I pointed it out. I *did* prompt the girls to apologize because I wanted to make the point that just because you didn't mean to hurt someone doesn't absolve you of responsibility for your actions. I guess what surprised me most was their sympathy for the lady("she must be having a bad time right now") in the face of the cold reception they got. I think many adults would have been tempted to escalate the matter at that point. Instead, the girls were justifiably ashamed of themselves--they got the point. Too bad this lady couldn't have used her power for good, to show them how a gracious "winner" acts.