Anyone here with a dingbat teenager?

[Rafiki Rafiki Rafiki]

I just want to feel not to alone.

How in the world do you change their behaviors? No amount of grounding helps.

 

[1Prince2Princesses]

My son is 13.

He used to laugh at being grounded. I switched it up a bit and backed up the time I expect him to be in bed for the duration of the groundation. That's working for now.

You gotta hit 'em where it hurts the most.

 

[Curly Q]

I think you may have to just "ride it out". Good luck

 

[LindaM]

You hope and pray that everything you taught them over the years really takes effect, and then hold your breathe until the dingbat in them has left the building.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Welllll....I approach it from a "dog training" perspective.

Start off small....then work up to bigger things. Remember to "treat them" when they do something right.

So....seriously, just use baby steps.

 

[Sir Ron]

the terms dingbat and teenager are interchangeable.

 

[ducklite]

Pick your battles, don't sweat the small stuff, and remember "this too shall pass."

I think there's this thing in the teenage brain that shuts down common sense until they get into their 20's. My son is 21 and just now refinding the common sense he lost nine years ago...

It gets better, I promise.

Anne

 

[MidgeD79]

I have survived 3 teenagers. My ds will be 13 on 8/7. So far so good except a little attitude which I can handle. The "hit him where it hurts" idea is the best! I think girls are much more difficult than boys.

 

[Rafiki Rafiki Rafiki]

My teenager brings the terms dingbat to a whole new level.

She never really listens to what is being told to her.

She uses little or no common sense when approaching every single thing in life despite the fact that all her other family members (older AND younger) seem to get it.

She has no motivation to accomplish anything in school or in life.

She has one year left before college.

HEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!

 

[stargrazer]

I suggest running away.

You, not her.

 

[Rock'n Robin]

My oldest DD is 15. I feel your pain. I know she is a good kid but she acts like such a ditz sometimes. We just have to ride it out and hope they make good decisions.
Save the grounding for serious stuff. Our first line of punishment is taking the cell phone! You'd think we cut off her arm when that happens!
Robin M.

 

[Tybug]

Oh yes, I have one. She's 19 now and may possibly be showing signs of it letting up a bit(I'm starting to see hints). I'm not holding my breath though... I often wonder how she makes it through the day!

Now my near 15 yo son... no ding bat qualities as of yet.

Give me 5 boys to 1 girl any day of the week!!!!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

She has no motivation to accomplish anything in school or in life.

She has one year left before college.

HEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!

How about a job? Does she work?

 

[ter-moo]

Oh Rafiki! I'll help you not feel alone!

After living through my two sons being delightful teenagers and rarely having any trouble at all with them, my daughter is DRIVING ME CRAZY!!!!

She is 14, and I swear she completely lost her brain as soon as she got b*o*o*b*s. (I have a feeling that word might get *'d out...) She used to be a straight-A student, sweet and quiet, very compassionate. NOW her most frequent utterance is "HUH???", her grades have dropped, her friends are equally clueless-looking/disinterested, and she seems to hate me half the time.

My only solution has been to try to enjoy the teen years--teenagers really are funny when you look at it. Read the comic "Zits," dig up your own diaries from when you were that age, call your parents a lot...

Last, realize that you did YOUR job. Ultimately your daughter is responsible/accountable now for her own decisions. It's hard to let go and not feel it's all your fault, but IT'S NOT.

 

[minnieandme]

You hope and pray that everything you taught them over the years really takes effect, and then hold your breathe until the dingbat in them has left the building.

the terms dingbat and teenager are interchangeable.

Pick your battles, don't sweat the small stuff, and remember "this too shall pass."

I think there's this thing in the teenage brain that shuts down common sense until they get into their 20's. My son is 21 and just now refinding the common sense he lost nine years ago...

It gets better, I promise.

Anne

Oh so true.

 

[Magickndm]

Another mom of a sixteen year old daughter here. While I know I shouldn't complain since she hasn't ever gotten into serious trouble (yet), her teenage attitude is driving me nuts. One moment she's fine, next she mad or crying.
I feel like I'm going through adolescence all over again, this second time being MUCH harder.

 

[Camicar]

The key to effective discipline, IMO, is to find a discipline that works for that particular child.

My dd hates to be out of the loop by being sent to her room. So that works for us. She also hates to be charged money for "forgetting" to do a chore properly, so that's the punishment when she 'forgets' once again to clean the bathroom vanity properly. When that doesn't seem to work, then cleaning the toilet with a toothbrush does.

We've found that the key is to find what they really hate and impose that as the consequence for their behavior.

 

[mamacatnv]

In our house we refer to it as teenage Jello Brain

 

[SwedishMeatball]

The key to effective discipline, IMO, is to find a discipline that works for that particular child.

Yep, my soon to be 18 year old daughter can cop quite the attitude. All I have to say is "One more word and you can hand over your cell phone" and you'd think I'd stabbed her with a knife, but it works. I've only had to follow through a handful of times and only once took the car keys. The other day we were in the kitchen and she started whining about something. Her little brother was sitting at the table eating a snack and said, "I can go get her phone if you want". Awwww isn't he helpful. My daughter glared at him and I think her tongue was bleeding from biting it, but she knew better than to comment.

 

[Dismom+two]

I thought ALL teenagers were dingbats?? News to me!!