Anyone here with a dingbat teenager?

[HSMndLKfan92]

Dingbat?! Me?! noway.
I'm a good kid.

In all honesty though, my parents rarely have to ground me.

 

[DMRick]

It stops about 40, when their kids become teens, and they get to see what it's like. I gotta love it! I just wish I didn't worry so much about her too..it's not fair, I already did the worrying when her mom was her age.

 

[MoniqueU]

My oldest is 14 and a half, he had a rough period through JR high but seems to be snapping to lately. His grades have come up, his attitude is better and I really enjoy being with him actually. I can just tell he is going to be an awesome person when he grows up and I think I am prepared for the next few years.

My 2 girls, well thats a whole other story. My oldest just started developing I guess you could call it and she is driving me whacko. She and her younger sister are on the phone every 5 minutes, the phone wont quit ringing and they keep taking my phone upstairs and leaving it where I can't hear it beep when I page it. THe emotional roller coaster the oldest one has been on has me going

 

[justapixel]

My oldest is 20. Ahhhh.....sweet relief. He's sweet again!

I have one 10 though...uh oh......

 

[Cool-Beans]

I made all my kids promise me, the whole time they were growing up, that they would not be obnoxious teenagers. Ask any of them. Even when they'd talk about what they wanted to be when they grew up, we'd discuss it and I'd end with "not an obnoxious teenager, though, right?" Oh, no, Mommy, I won't be an obnoxious teenager.

Liars.

 

[Tiffer]

Don't have one, but was one.

They will outgrow it. Hang in there.

 

[luv2nascar]

Oh I thought it was only because mine is blond. I didn't realize its the whole teenage population. When oh when will this fog lift

 

[Aimee K]

I just realized reading this that I will be in teenage girl years for the next 13 years!
My oldest is 13 and my youngest is 6.

 

[TinkerbellMama]

I just want to feel not to alone.

How in the world do you change their behaviors? No amount of grounding helps.

Punishment isn't the answer. Seriously; it doesn't work. In the short term, some kids are averse enough to the punishment to do what you want, but it doesn't teach them to behave because they understand how to think things through. It only teaches them to avoid the punishment (or being caught) by following a very narrowly prescribed script (e.g., Don't leave your dirty socks on the floor!), and then you have to make up a billion punishments to fit a billion different transgressions. Not good. Other kids, like your own, are not going to be affected by the punishment in even the most superficial of ways, because their brains are still developing and their judgment is not yet developed. Sometimes a kid really DOESN'T know why he's not doing what he's supposed to. That doesn't excuse the behavior, of course, but there are better ways to work with teens than punishing them. I could offer you a few ideas for non-punitive parenting of teenagers, but I'm afraid I can't suggest any punishments that will REALLY work. None of them will.