Anyone have ungratefull family members

[hockey mom]

Sorry need to vent before I kill my sister. My story- In 97 our 2 families went to disney together- huge mistake. They had more money than us and spoiled their kids which we could not do. Raced from ride to show to tram even though we had a stroller in tow. Ordered her Dh around mercilessly. Fast forward to last year. We have gone back to Disney every year since and they have not. Finances changed. So they really wanted to take their kids back and I offered to pay for the rooms-SAP!!. They told their kids, but then had to cancel because of money. I am thinking that's it. Next year my neice says "We can't wiat to go to Disney". I say "when you going". She replies "In April with you" I ask my sister whats going on. She says we promised them this year for sure- you are still paying for the rooms right? What so you say with 3 kids staring at you. So now I have all the rooms paid for and everytime I try to offer my sister advice for cost cutting she laughs at me. Apparently her hubby got a huge bonus at work, but still didn't offer to kick in for any part of the rooms. I know my own fault and I should say something, but my kids are really looking forward to spending time with their cousins and for that reason alone I am keeping my mouth shut.

Anyone else deal with this from family members?

 

[GreenEyes0205]

That really stinks. But you are a fantastic Aunt!!! I had a situation with my sister also, but I wouldn't call her ungrateful.

For the past 2 years, we asked her if we can take my 2 nieces with us along with our kids. We offered to pay for everything each time, but she declined. She had a few reasons. First was that she wants her kids to expierence Disney World with her & her husband. Another reason was that they would be too far away in case something happens.


I take her kids quite often for weekends, so it's not a matter of trust, (but I did have to ask her). It just makes us really sad because we know that my nieces will never expierence Disney as children.

Anyway, I hope you have a great time with your kids & their cousins.

 

[CarolA]

Just don't pay for ANYTHING else!

I would tell your family that the rooms were your treat, but that is it. Do NOT put charging rights on their keys.

Also, make sure to plan some "Family" time. Make your own PS and stuff so that you don't have to listen to thier family dynamics all the time.

 

[hockey mom]

Thanks Greeneyes.

Will your sister ever be able to take her kids to Disney, because if not it is too bad she won't take you up on your generous offer.

 

[HauntedMansionGeek]

Originally posted by CarolA
Just don't pay for ANYTHING else!

I would tell your family that the rooms were your treat, but that is it. Do NOT put charging rights on their keys.

Also, make sure to plan some "Family" time. Make your own PS and stuff so that you don't have to listen to thier family dynamics all the time.

Wise WISE words of wisdom! (especially that part about making your own PS ressies so you don't have to listen to their family dynamics.......EXCELLENT advice!)


Either way, when we took cousins along with us the kids had a fantastic time...and I'd do that part again in a heartbeat.

Have fun!

 

[faithinkarma]

Those were indeed wise words of advice. Definitely plan something that requires a reservation and down payment that will give you a chance to get away without them for a while. Or several things

 

[bumcat]

I have a sister just like that. She thinks the world revolves around her.

 

[hockey mom]

CarolA and Hauntedmasiongeek- that is exactly what my DH said.

If he had it his way we would meet up for about an hour each day and that's it.

 

[GreenEyes0205]

Originally posted by hockey mom
Thanks Greeneyes.

Will your sister ever be able to take her kids to Disney, because if not it is too bad she won't take you up on your generous offer.

Well, they HATE crowds & they HATE lines. So I think Disney World is out of the question for them! I'll take crowds & lines anyday, than being home not on vacation. We vacation every summer with them at the Jersey shore & we have such a great time.

You have gotten great advice from others, especially about making your own PS's. How about telling her that you have made an itinerary for your own family & it wouldn't hurt your feelings if they don't want to follow it with you each day? I hope it all works out good for you all.

 

[hockey mom]

faithinkarma- I actually have 2 condos booked and could not get them in the same place so I think it worked out for the best. My sister and her family are at Silver lake, and my family plus my aunt and her 4 yr old plus DD's best friend are at Orange lake. Not to far but hopefully far enough. LOL

bumcat- I hear ya!

 

[Margie J]

This is awful when family takes advantage of you.

A few years ago two cousins wanted to take their kids to WDW. I reserved a two bedroom unit at OKW which also came with park passes at the time. They never paid a dime to me. Do you know that they didn't even bother to give me a call after they got there. I called them to make sure everything was alright. They never thanked me, never got me even a small momento from their trip. Oh but I got to see all the pictures of the whole gang plus the kids friends all having a good old time at OKW.

Nice huh?

 

[hockey mom]

Margie I hope you didn't speak to them for awhile. I cannot believe the gall of some people. On the flip side I just planned a whole trip for friends who wanted to go very cheaply so I used priceline and such and they brought me home Minnies Christmas house which was the only one I did not have. From one extreme to the next.

 

[Alicnwondrln]

carola is right

my sister pulls the same stuff all the time
i would tell her to pay for her own rooms
shes taking advantage and it sounds like she knows shes doing it

 

[Lewski709]

Originally posted by hockey mom
Ordered her Dh around mercilessly.

Apparently her hubby got a huge bonus at work, but still didn't offer to kick in for any part of the rooms.

First, let me address the ordering around of her DH. Every relationship works differently and my in laws think I boss DH around. It isn't like that, but that is how they view it. DH will stay and talk for hrs to anyone and I have to be the one who monitors time so we make it different places on time, especially around the holidays. We are on time becuase of me, everytime. I handle all the money (a choice both of us made) and I handle making all vacations plans (again, a choice both of us made).

The money and bonus thing is WRONG! If it bothers you, I wouldn't allow them to use you (and they are). If you volunteered to take the kids and pay for their rooms without the parents, that's different. I imagine the cousins see one another regularly. I would tell your sister after reviewing the budget you can't afford to pay for their rooms at Disney, you are sorry. BUT plan a different, closer, less time consuming trip to an amusement park. Like for me, Six Flags, Cedar Point and Kings Island are all between 2 and 5hrs away. Cheaper........way cheaper and all the cousins can still have a fantastic time together.

Just my 2 cents!

 

[hockey mom]

Unfortunately my kids do not get to spend much time with their cousins because we live a couple of hours apart and it is for their sake that I offered to do this and will live up to my end- but I know I am being used and it will never happen again.

What I meant in terms of ordering her DH around were the little things like-get my drink, walk the dogs, run here, run there and it never ends. On our last visit my neice was asking to go to some party and when my BIL started to object my sister put her hand up in his face and told him to stay out of it. No respect what so ever and that is something I don't want to witness for an entire week.

What is starting to bother me is she is mocking me for all the planning I have done and still am doing, laughing at me when I mention I have all our days planned out.

On the other hand my aunt and cousin will also be joining us. She is a single mom and needed a break so with 2 condos booked I invited her along. All she had to pay for were tickets, food and spending. She will not stop calling asking what contriution can she make because this doesn't feel right. I keep telling her all I want to see are the smiles on their faces, but in the end had to let her pay for gas in the rental car or she would not shut up. This I am looking forward to.

 

[Ilove8Trax]

Sadly there are many people out there like this. Ungrateful and even worse.

 

[luv2nascar]

the world is full of them
BIL & SIL are that way with my inlaws
they have a bunch of kids and feel pretty comfortable letting my inlaws pay for all of them and don't feel guilty at all
they lived with my inlaws for awhile and didn't pay rent, electric, phone or even offer to pay
inlaws bought all their diapers for at least 1 yr for their middle child
pay to have oldest sons hair cut because they wouldn't even take him
buy all the kids shoes & most of their clothes
bought their applicances and new carpet for their rental house
paid for part of the wedding (2nd for their son)
the list goes on and on but once BIL/SIL had fight with family & told FIL he didn't blame his wife if she never let my inlaws never see the kids again.
Oh I forgot inlaws are built in babysitters. They call all times of the day and evening for them to babysit.

 

[floridaminnie]

What is starting to bother me is she is mocking me for all the planning I have done and still am doing, laughing at me when I mention I have all our days planned out.

That's when you reply that these are your plans, but what does she plan on doing.

 

[Esmerelda]

Hockey mom....

I would keep the rooms and pay for them if you have already done so.....I would let the sister take care of everything else (ie: PS's, meals...tickets..etc) and I would tell her that upfront with another adult present (this point VERY important). There is no reason to take advantage of someone...even if you are or aren't related.

Whats the saying: fool me once...shame on you...fool me twice....shame on me....

don't be fooled twice...
Esmerelda

 

[kilee]

Ungrateful relatives-- I just posted a whole trip report about 10 days ago on the aftermath of a trip like this.......