Yeah, at her age I certainly didn't blame her for refusing to go through it all a third time.
Thanks for the good thoughts for my mom, I appreciate it. Yes, lots to come to terms with, it's hard but I keep reminding myself it's part of life and everyone goes through it. Sorry about your mom, too, and now you have your dad to worry about. I know it's so hard. I'm an only as well, and really wish I had a sibling right now to help with all the stuff for the nursing home, etc. Like today I went to the funeral home to upgrade her pre-paid funeral she and dad did about 10 years ago. Her money needs to be spent on stuff for her, so I upgraded the casket. Gosh, that was hard to sit there looking at photos of caskets and planning for her funeral. But I knew the more I could get done now, the better it would be in the long run. Even paid for the flowers already. I do want to ask her what colors she wants though, as I really have no idea. And cleaning out her apartment pretty much on my own as DH is a farmer and this is harvest time, he's working long hours so can't help right now. So hard.