Anyone have a child with selective mutism?

[sally howard]

My son was a late talker. He understood what we said but was unable to verbalize back. We all became frustrated. By 3 he was talking at home but not in any social situation.
He was so verbal at home. But would not speak at pre-school, church...
After a bunch of research we discovered the diagnosis of selective mutism. The child will and can speak when they want to. He never uttered a word through kindergarten. Doing sight words was a nightmare. He speaks now and is currently at a cub scout camp out. Knowledge and prayer go a long way.
When he sang a duet at church last spring there were few dry eyes.

 

[Aidensmom]

It's hard, but I would like to say there is a very good chance things will get better.

I was that way when I was a child, before there was an official diagnosis for it. I have anxiety disorder as an adult, I am very 'talkative' here online, but in real life I am very shy. I got sent to speech therapy in 1st grade because people thought I was unable to talk. With understanding and support, I was able to get through it. Though I am still "quiet" now, I am able to hide my anxiety well. I have to laugh whenever someone calls me "outgoing" because I definately am not that way naturally.

 

[JenDaveBrendan]

I have questioned this diagnosis regarding my son. My son (5 yrs.old) is very shy...... however people keep telling me he is fine and just "shy". I worry though.... it is sad and frustrating to see your child go through this.....
My son is very loud/outgoing at home and with people he knows, however with other children in school or at the park, etc, he hardly talks. I have seen him many times have children talk to him and he just turns away and ignores them. I ask him why, and he tells me he doesn't talk to them because "I don't know them" and "I don't want to talk to them". I have talked to his kindergarten teacher about how he is doing socially, and his teacher says he is on the quiet side, but doing fine and not to worry. But I can't help but worry!! I don't even know how to help him break out of this "shyness".
I was very, very shy as a child and I hope that he outgrows this, but I have been wondering about selective mutism.... but some make me feel crazy for even thinking this..... I really don't even know what to do about it.
I have come across a message board on www.parentcenter.com - if you go under message boards there is a section on shyness and anxity. There are posters that talk about selective mutism.
The best of luck..
Jen

 

[pfishgirl]

It's hard, but I would like to say there is a very good chance things will get better.

I was that way when I was a child, before there was an official diagnosis for it. I have anxiety disorder as an adult, I am very 'talkative' here online, but in real life I am very shy. I got sent to speech therapy in 1st grade because people thought I was unable to talk. With understanding and support, I was able to get through it. Though I am still "quiet" now, I am able to hide my anxiety well. I have to laugh whenever someone calls me "outgoing" because I definately am not that way naturally.

 

[HugsForEeyore]

I babysit for a girl (now 11) who had selective mutism. When she was in pre-school, she just would not talk to other kids. Would not say a word at school ever. At home, she talked all the time! She did have speech issues making her hard to understand, but it was more than that - she just did not want to talk to the other kids, and had no desire to, either! She also was born with a heart defect, so we all figured she was more socially immature than her schoolmates, but would catch up. And she did outgrow it, as by 1st grade she started talking to peers at school, and now has many friends.

But it also was recently discovered she has a rare chromosome disorder (called velo-cardio-facial syndrome) which involves all sorts of learning disabilities and odd behaviors, so it now made sense why she had the selective mutism and all her other learning problems. But she gets lots of extra help nowadays and is doing well.

 

[pw2pp]

My son was always that way and I worried about him for years.
He is now 15 years old and is doing just fine (is talkative, has a great sense of humor, and is very well-liked).
I was the same way as a child.... he takes after me for sure.

I am glad to hear that your son is doing better now.
Good luck to him with Cub Scouts. Encourage him to stick with it, because once he moves up to Boy Scouts that is when the REAL fun begins...... my son has been.......
Backpacking in the Mountains, done a "polar bear" campout, done a "survival" campout, camped on the Battlefield at Gettysburg, spent a week on a Sailboat, camped on Manitou Island, and next summer they are going to Alaska.

 

[aprilgail2]

My daughter went to preschool for 2 years with a girl like that....she didn't speak one word the first year of preschool, her parents put her into therapy the second year of preschool and she said afew word that year but after a full year of therapy afew times a week when she went into kindergarten you would think she never had that problem at all...the kid participates in class, yells and plays on the playground...it was SO nice to see the change in her, I am glad they intervened early and got the child help...she is a really sweet kid!

 

[sally howard]

My son is doing so much better. In order for the school to help. Example letting jim pick up the sight word called out and giving it to the teacher verses saying it. You have to have the diagnosis. We went to Emory University in Atlanta for 4 sessions. Heck, I was teaching the psychologist. And for $40.00 a session.
He now will answer in class and Sunday school.
Still alittle shy. For the parents trying to understand Sm. This is beyond shyness. It is a sort of social anxiety. We educated everyone who had contact with him.

 

[Caradana]

Sally, I would look into getting an IEP for your son. Call the child study team in your school district, and have him evaluated for free. My mother teaches kids what what they call EM in NJ (elective mutism) and progress accelerates with the right therapies and the right school environment. Please do not just hope things will go away - a little proactivity early will go a long way later. All the best for you and your son.

 

[sally howard]

Caradana,
He had an IEP last two years. We have all decided he no lomger needs it. We did do all the early intervention. I guess my point of this thread is to get the word out on SM. Too many of these kids fall through the crack. Once were labeled autistic or delayed.
He is 80% o.k. now.

 

[Jynohn]

My son was finally diagnosed with selective mutism when he was in first grade. He would not say a single word to anyone outside of the immediate family, even people he had known his whole life. At home, however, he was like a different kid. It was like he had to get out all of those words he had bottled up all day and I couldn't get him to STOP talking!

I had talked to my pediatrician about it several times and was always told he was "just shy" and would grow out of it. It wasn't a real problem until he started school. That's when I started bringing him to therapists to see if they could help him. The words "selective mutism" were never mentioned to me. I found out about it myself accidentally when I say a piece on it on 20/20. I started crying as I watched that show, because I just KNEW that was what my son had and it was such a relief to finally have a name for it. I started researching it right away and found a wonderful psychiatrist in our area who specializes in anxiety disorders.

The doctor recommended Paxil for my son, which I was dead set against at first because I hated the thought of medicating him. I decided to give it a try though and within a month my son was talking in school! He only stayed on the medication for a few months and I'm happy to say he's now a happy, social kid with lots of friends and no signs of his previous anxiety disorder. In fact, I have to laugh to myself at parent conferences when the teacher tells me she sometimes has to remind him not to speak out in class

It's important to realize that selective mutism and other anxiety disorders are rarely a result of trauma the child has suffered. I know that I worried myself sick that he had undergone some trauma that I didn't know about, and his doctor reassured me that it was just the way he was, there didn't have to be a reason for it. All I know now is that my son is happy and healthy and I couldn't be more grateful

PM any time if you need to talk.