We just relocated to St Louis this spring. It does seem expensive to us, but we came from Dallas, which is a very low cost of living area. It's all relative. Our new house here is almost twice as expensive as our old house outside of Dallas, while only being about 200 sf bigger (plus an unfinished basement), and the new house isn't as nice when it comes to the quality of the building (e.g., squared entrances instead of arches, no rounded corners on the walls, smaller baseboards, etc.).
My husband's job is on the west side of the city, so we moved to the western part of St Louis county, which people call West County (took me a while to figure that one out). He has a commute of about 35 minutes into work because he has to take a lot of roads with stop lights, but it's not too bad. The closer you get to the city, the older the houses will be. You can find nice, updated houses that are really, really nice, but they come at a price.
We do like living here. It's gorgeous with lots of trees and hills. People spend a lot of time outdoors, and there are a lot of great trails, parks, and other ways to help you spend time outside. There are a lot of great museums, a wonderful zoo, and tons of other great things for kids, too. We're really enjoying the summer because it's so much cooler than what we're used to, but that's because we're used to extremely hot summers where it doesn't cool down at night.