Have you considered Raleigh? I live in NW Raleigh and LOVE it. I've lived in Raleigh for the past 22 years, and have basically grown up here. I went to middle, high school and college here. Raleigh tends to be a bit more affordable than Cary, and def less restrictions on what you can/can't have. Some of the covenants in Cary are pretty strict..including # of pets you can own and how long you can keep your garage door open. (I'm not kidding).
Schools are part of Wake County, so you do have the flux of changing schools from traditional to year round, but I think that will settle down shortly (so I hope). My DD has been in year round for past 3 yrs and it works well for us.
Neigborhoods in NW Raleigh are very nice and range in age from very new to about 25 or so years old. Older homes have a bit more land than the newer ones. I didn't catch if you were from up North, but if you are you will fit right in as a lot of people are from up North living down here.
A great place to look for homes is the York Simpson Underwood website. Look for homes in the Brier Creek, Sycamore Creek, Leesville, Baileywick Elem areas. Those are all surrounded by great neighborhoods that vary in price range.