Anyone feel guilty about....

[YukiPhnx]

I've been asking my parents for an electric hand mixer for years. They still think I'm joking, so I am still without one.....A whole electric mixing bowl would be even better!

 

[Aristomommy]

We have cut back the last two years, not for economical reasons, but for the reason that our kids were getting spoiled. I wanted them to appreciate a couple of nice gifts instead of twenty gifts that might still sit unopened for months to come. We also decided to give gifts that either helped local businesses or charities at DDs prompting. She wanted WWF gifts from family that asked for suggestions. Also our kids birthdays fall right before and after Christmas so we have a season of gift overload and then a giftless rest of the year.

Grandparents are giving us memberships to zoo, natural history museum and science center. Their big gifts are Nintendo Ds for DS and a udraw system for DD. There are some other nice gifts as well and then rest are family board games.

 

[Minnie]

I see plenty of people talking down about "I can't believe you much posters spend on their kids".... but I've never seen an "I can't believe a poster spends so little"..... Don't understand the double standards....

As I see so much of the - I don't spoil my kids, can't believe people spend that much - etc - ect - I think the above should be repeated.....

None of us is any better or worse of a parent by spending more / less on our children sheesh

Thread title - was "anyone feel guilty about" not I've nothing to feel guilty about because I don't spoil my kids

 

[shelly3girls]

Can I ask about that. I don't know how to do it without sounding judgemental. so I apologize. We never reward school performance unless its outstanding (above and beyond) I guess the way I grew up you were "expected" to do my absolute best.

I agree in that I always expect my kids to try their hardest and strive for their best. We do though reward for extraordinary effort. DD9 always struggled in school. She voluntarily spent the summer at reading camp and worked very hard. She still continues to work hard and has dramatically increased her grades. We definitely went overboard this Christmas for her in part as a reward for her hard work. We also took her out to a movie to celebrate her report card. Sometimes kids need to see us celebrate their accomlishments.

 

[dvcgirl]

Well, we're not parents, but we're Aunt and Uncle to a few pretty great little ones...and they're getting a ton of stuff...as they always do. Because we don't have little ones, we tend to spoil them a bit (as do their parents and grandparents)....the boys are getting netbooks (at ages 3 and 4 no less...) and our 5 year old niece is getting a DSi with a bunch of games....and that's just from us.

But...we're starting this year to teach our five year old niece (the boys are a bit too young yet)....to give. She has a savings account and will go with her Mom to take $50 of her own money out of her savings account. It's important that she gives some of "her" money. And we'll add about $450 to that. We've "adopted" a family anonymously from our community that is having a really rough time. They have two children, and we're providing all of the gifts for the kids. Others have donated the tree and food.

So, DH and I are taking our little niece shopping for the gifts for these children. She is one lucky little girl, and we're hoping that she'll feel the joy that we feel when we give to others. She knows that she's going shopping for "the kids" on Saturday with her Aunt and Uncle and she's very excited .

I know exactly how the OP feels....that feeling that sometimes some of us get "too much"....and there's no better way to treat that "ailment"...then by giving to others.

 

[daisyduck123]

Nope not feeling guilty at all.

DD16 has been here in Children's hospital for 6 weeks, and we don't see a release date in our future yet. Our lives have been turned upside-down. Both she & DS12 are getting whatever their hearts desire.

 

[southern_redhead]

Nope not feeling guilty at all.

DD16 has been here in Children's hospital for 6 weeks, and we don't see a release date in our future yet. Our lives have been turned upside-down. Both she & DS12 are getting whatever their hearts desire.

That must be very hard. I would do "whatever" for Christmas, too. Prayers for your daughter and your family!

 

[Minnie]

Nope not feeling guilty at all.

DD16 has been here in Children's hospital for 6 weeks, and we don't see a release date in our future yet. Our lives have been turned upside-down. Both she & DS12 are getting whatever their hearts desire.

Nothing in the world to put perspective on life like an illness. My thoughts and prayers are with you and yours

 

[LittleFlounder]

I love looking at my tree on Christmas Eve and seeing bikes and stuff...it looks like Christmas. A bunch of DVDs and PS3 games wrapped up just looks bla LOL

Yes, things that older kids and teens as for Christmas, like DVDs, video games and small electronics do look "blah" when wrapped and under the tree.... so in my family, anything that is small gets put in a bigger box and then wrapped! This is also to make them unrecognizable when under the tree... so you can't guess what they are! We even do this for the adults in the family. Unwrapping a gift is much more exciting when you have no idea what could be inside it!

 

[Mom2Ben02]

Nope not feeling guilty at all.

DD16 has been here in Children's hospital for 6 weeks, and we don't see a release date in our future yet. Our lives have been turned upside-down. Both she & DS12 are getting whatever their hearts desire.

As well they should.

YES, to me, Christmas is about family, and faith, and FOOD. When I think about the Christmases of my childhood, I DO remember all of that. I remember my Great Grandmother in the kitchen, the laughter, the WARMTH.

But - I also remember the Cabbage Patch kid under the tree. And, as a parent, I know what it took to get it there. My parents are FAR from rich, but I never felt poor.

My kids are getting a little bit spoiled - but my "spoiling" is another person's bare bones holiday. DS8 is getting a DSi, and a few movies, and a couple of the tiny lego sets. DD6 is getting a few AG outfits - one clearanced, one from a craft sale - along with a Lalaloopsy doll and a few movies. She got an American Girl for her bday in October, while DS did not get a big bday gift, so he will get a little more $$$ wise, but the same number of gifts.

 

[disneymomjcs]

Wow I feel guilty readying this


I remember growing up as a child one of four and the tree was piled high with gifts. It was the one time a year we rec'd lots of gifts. We struggled the rest of the year and birthdays were very small. Cake and a small gift.

I only have one DD13 at home. We have an older DS27 who is grown and lives on his own. So I always wind up getting tons of gifts for my daughter. She only gets about three gifts outside of us so I do make Christmas wonderful like I remember as a child.


She only asks for one or two things.

I love to get her clothes, lots of books, a game, hair stuff, dvd's, socks it is easy to shop for her. She is happy with whatever she gets.

 

[disneymomjcs]

Nope not feeling guilty at all.

DD16 has been here in Children's hospital for 6 weeks, and we don't see a release date in our future yet. Our lives have been turned upside-down. Both she & DS12 are getting whatever their hearts desire.

Our prayers are with you and your family.

May God watch over your family and many blessing to you and your daugther.

 

[justakrazymom]

I truly believe there is no right or wrong way to do Christmas.. you have to do what works for your family. We've changed what we do several times over the last 17 Christmas'. My kids know what Christmas is to us, why it's important, gifts or no gifts..

 

[Ephany]

This year, not so much. Previous years, yep. I was rolling in the guilt. It wasn't the money so much, it was she had so many presents that she was completely overwhelmed. I don't think she truly enjoyed most of them. So for her birthday we downsized to 3 presents. Of course after you add in the gifts from both sets of grandparents and the aunts and uncles, there's still a stack.

For Christmas from us she's getting a DSi to replace her dad's DSlite she's been using for the last few years, the udraw thingy for the wii, and a Land End's monogrammed tote. I kind of cheated on the tote and filled it with the AG outfits I'd bought over the last few years on clearance. I found a stockpile in the back of a closet; guess I hid it from her (and myself) too well. From Santa, she's getting Lanie's Camper. She still believes, and is convinced that Santa will find it especially as the Atlanta store took down the display a few months ago so she knows Mommy and Daddy can't buy it. The most expensive thing for her stocking is the Christmas Phineas & Ferb magazine, otherwise it's girly stuff and some candy.

I admit it's been hard not to get stuff that I know she'd love, just because it's on sale. I have grabbed some board games for later on in the year, but overall I'm much happier and at peace with myself this year than previous ones.

 

[Leshaface]

Nope not feeling guilty at all.

DD16 has been here in Children's hospital for 6 weeks, and we don't see a release date in our future yet. Our lives have been turned upside-down. Both she & DS12 are getting whatever their hearts desire.

Definitely puts things into perspective..

Thanks for sharing

 

[1littlepiggy]

Nope not feeling guilty at all.

DD16 has been here in Children's hospital for 6 weeks, and we don't see a release date in our future yet. Our lives have been turned upside-down. Both she & DS12 are getting whatever their hearts desire.

and prayers for your family!

 

[angierae]

I don't feel guilty at all. We are not a "get something all the time" kind of family - I could probably count on one hand the number of "things" my DD15 gets outside of birthdays/Christmas/etc from her stepdad and I. We are not the type to buy something fun every time we step into Target or whatever. I set a dollar amount that she's aware of, she gives us some suggestions and I buy some things I see that I think she'll enjoy, and I don't feel bad about it.

This year she asked her dad and her stepmom for a big gift, so she's only getting that plus little things from them, so she specifically did NOT ask for a big gift from us so she'd have more presents. But I won't go over my $ amount.

(And then her birthday is the 29th and she'll get cash for her birthday because egads, what's left to buy?! )

 

[WantToGoNow]

No guilt here. Probably spent more than I should have but my kids will have a good Christmas. My dh lost is job last March and is still unemployed. I went back to work in June to be able to buy groceries and extras. They have gotten very little this year and even their birthday's were cut way back. They have gotten no extra's all year - and they haven't complained. So I started buying a few things for each back in July out of each paycheck. They are getting a ton of gifts and the way I see it, it covers what they haven't gotten all year. My oldest dd only wants an iPod Touch - that thing is expensive but she will get it - and a couple of smaller things to go with it. I thought I had my shopping done except for a couple of "Santa" gifts. Then ds9 told me this am that he wants the Harry Potter Lego set - the one that costs about $130. He may or may not get that - but I really would like for him to have it. My dd26 took dd7 to Disney for her birthday (they get home today) and left him behind - he's done really good but I know his feelings were hurt - I may make her help buy the Legos. Dd7 only asked for Lotso from Toy Story 3 and a Video Girl - she's getting Lotso but not the Video Girl - I can't justify that much on a Barbie she would probably leave out in the yard (in the rain no less).

 

[gulf breeze]

My 8 year old DD said she was going to ask Santa for Ivy, the AG doll, and from us she wanted a pillow pet. Her reasoning....the doll is more money so she is saving us money by asking us for the pillow pet!!!! I get my kids new calenders every year and she was soooo excited when she put those packages under the tree! Yeah! New calenders I mean she is just as excited about those as she is about the doll. So, nope, I'm not feeling a bit guilty about what the girls are getting for Christmas!!!!

 

[IluvDonald!]

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