Anyone feel guilty about....

[Chelley00]

We do something similar to someone above

Thing you want
Thing you need
Thing you wear
Thing you read

With 4 kids, spending and gifts could get out of control, so we limit presents to the above. It also makes my shopping so much easier and helps keep me from going overboard. The kids also get from grandparents and uncles, so they are most definatley not deprived.

 

[BoogasMom]

Thanks for all of the responses....I love hearing what other families do for Christmas!!!

 

[acename]

Our kids each get 3 gifts because Baby Jesus got 3 gifts. They know this and it makes it A LOT easier. Now, youngest DD is getting an American Girl doll and a bunch of clothes (that I bought on Cyber Monday) and it's all in one box as one "gift." But her other 2 gifts are just a Pillow Pet and a "Dolly and Me" outfit. Last year, my step-kids' mom wasn't living here (we have custody of the kids) and she sent a TON of "crap" for the kids. They didn't play with half the crap they got. I thought it was ridiculous that Mom couldn't afford to fly out here to see her kids but she could afford to send them a bunch of crap they didn't need. But I digress....

Kids are NOT getting toys this year (unless you count the AG doll and clothes as "toys"). Youngest is almost 9, oldest is 16. Two middle kids are getting laptops. Oldest is getting new iPhone. Those are their "big" gifts.

We also get them new PJs (in addition to the 3 gifts) that they open on Christmas Eve. I've always done this with my kids and my step-kids got kinda excited that they got to open a gift on Christmas Eve until they realized it was just PJs. But actually, they all like getting their new PJs now!

We're trying to start the three gift tradition. I got some funny looks when told some family members about it though. My kids just have so much stuff. They have a lot of people in their lives that seem to buy for them all year round. So many of the toys around here don't get played with. I'd rather get three gifts that I know they'll love and play with than a tree full of crap that just sits around.

So my kids are getting 3 gifts from mom and dad, a big gift and stocking from santa and a present from one another. Plus the million things they get from aunts, uncles and grandparents and everyone in between. I swear I could open a toysrus around here.

edited to add: not that I'm not grateful for all the wonderful people that love them and want to spoil them, I just hate all the clutter.

 

[DCLbrideSept2009]

When my kids were younger and still getting "toys" for Christmas, every year before Christmas, we would CLEAN OUT their rooms and they HAD to get rid of stuff or nothing new came into the house. Did this before birthdays too.

 

[lovesmurfs]

I'm in the minority and starting to feel guilty -- I'm afraid I overspent a bit -- no thanks to the Budget Board which tells me all of the deals!!! I love Christmas and shopping. I'm afraid I get their stuff until it feels "right".

We don't buy much throughout the year except for school stuff and clothes. They (DS16 and DD11) are not getting everything on their lists, but it's a pretty big blow-out every year. DS's not getting his paintball gun, but I think I'm going to offer it for his birthday next month, instead of the bike he needs.

DH's family was very, very low key in terms of gifts (there were 4 kids on a small church pastor's salary), and mine went the other way. The only time I really feel guilty is when DH's mother spends Christmas with us.

 

[jmpellet]

I am feeling a bit guilty this year as I think (don't want to tally) I spent a boatload. Oldest DS10 is getting the DSi XL, DD9 getting the iPod Touch 8GB, and youngest DD6.5 is getting a nano. Noth girls are getting docks with alarm clock and Chamilia bracelets. Charms are coming from grandparents. DS is getting a bunch of DS, WII, and XBox games. I bought 2 Coach purses from DH (outlet and $170 total). DH "bought" a tattoo for $200. The list goes on

 

[bas71873]

I don't feel guilty, but I admit I went WAY overboard this year. I started shopping WAY too early and when I went through my Cmas closet yesterday....sheesh! So, I pulled a few things and dropped them in the Toys for Tots box at DD's dance school last night, and put another stack to the side which I'll either save for birthday gifts when she's invited to parties or use them to fill her Easter basket

 

[Alexander]

No guilt here. Our kids are spoiled beyond words, but it is what it is. My family has always done Christmas huge, and I guess I'm just continuing that tradition.

 

[E-P-C-O-T]

I got the worst gifts for Christmas during my childhood!! One year I got a set of encyclopedias and dominoes . The next year I got a shirt and socks and it wasn't because money was an issue, because, that same year my sister got a 3 story dollhouse with dolls, barbie's corvette and a whole bunch of little ponies!! So, before I had DD, I spoiled my nieces and nephews getting them the best toys, PSPs and a WII. My DD is getting over 20 gifts this year just from us, including a Playhouse, Mega blocks, a plasma car, a Radio Flyer tricycle, aTinkerbell plush, 1 toddler Snowwhite, 1 toddler Belle, a Tangled vanity set, a Baby Alive with a highchair and a rocking chair and I'm not done shopping!!! Flame away, because, I plan to spoil her rotten!! As a matter of fact, I'm off to Amazon now to see what else I am getting her...

 

[kirstenb1]

I don't buy a large amount at Christmas. I buy stuff for them throughout the year--they're both a little spoiled. Birthdays, I go bigger on. Probably because I just have the one child to buy for then, instead of adding in everyone else I buy for at Christmas.

 

[QVCshopper]

No guilt here. My DD6 is getting an AG doll, 2 outfits for the doll, and 1 matching PJ for her (plus stocking stuffers and 1 book).

My DS4 is getting Dinosaur Train toys and a dinosaur big belly bank (plus stocking stuffers and 1 book). That's it.

Now, they do get things here and there throughout the year, and I think this is plenty for them. Honestly, I'm coming at or below other years b/c I didn't spend as much on my in-laws due to lack of wanting anything.

 

[njmom47]

Yup...the older they get, the smaller yet more expensive the gifts get!
We've gotten them a laptop, xbox 360, ipods for Christmas, but when they were little it was easy to get more things and not spend a ton of money. I do spend on them throughout the year as well.
This year will be a little tougher as my middle dd had $700 worth of car repairs (this is one week after we bought the car, tag/registration/tax, then she backed into someone's car in the school parking lot, and has a kitten that needs to be neutered). I just feel like saying to her "Merry Chrismas" but I know she'll be upset. I have very few gifts but am working OT this week so I'll just have to shop last minute...ugh!

 

[YukiPhnx]

Wow....to the parents that buy their kids stuff they write on a list: I WANT TO BE IN YOUR FAMILY!!

My family NEVER did lists. We would never dare do that to our parents. Of course, it was because we didn't have a lot of money, but we were always happy with what we got.

I know for sure my parents never had the problem of "feeling guilty for buying too much". We would often get one gift each. Oh ya, we didn't believe in Santa, so there were no extra gifts.

I just gotta say, your kids are really lucky to have y'all as parents. I hope I can give my kids what they want when I have them!

 

[IsisPrincess]

I don't feel guilty at all. I got my kids just about everything on their list. I don't buy for them year round they may just get 1 gift for their b-days. They do a super good job in school and they should be rewarded.

 

[eliza61]

how much stuff Santa is bringing your kids? Have you bought way too many things for them??? Just curious what other people's feelings are on this subject.

While they by no means get everything on their lists, my kids get quite a few presents for Christmas. But, I look at it this way....they are really good kids (not perfect, but just really good) and we don't buy presents for them throughout the year except for their birthdays (and even then we don't buy a bunch of stuff for them). We have been fortunate enough over the years to be able to pay cash for everything and have not incurred any credit card debt in doing so.

I LOVE Christmas and seeing the looks on their faces on Christmas morning is worth it to me!

I don't feel guilty but I do feel that Christmas around my parts is getting way to commercial. It really does feel like it's no longer a "special" day. We are trying to wean off of buying more "Stuff" and having more experiences

 

[eliza61]

I don't feel guilty at all. I got my kids just about everything on their list. I don't buy for them year round they may just get 1 gift for their b-days. They do a super good job in school and they should be rewarded.

Can I ask about that. I don't know how to do it without sounding judgemental. so I apologize. We never reward school performance unless its outstanding (above and beyond) I guess the way I grew up you were "expected" to do my absolute best. Sure my parents were very supportive and always told me how proud I was if I came home with good grades but no way could I have said "can I get an Ipad for doing well in school" My mom would have laughed and said "girlie, that's what I expect you to bring home". I am the same way. I expect my kids to get grades that reflect their very best. Now one of my sons is an asperger kid so he's not a straight A kid, but I still expect great effort for him.

I just am amazed when parents say they are buying cars and stuff when their kids graduate from h.s. I always ask "isn't that what you expected them to do". When I was growing up graduating from H.S. was what you did if you didn't want your mom and dad to murder you.

 

[CarlisleMom]

I don't feel guilty. I save all year. Look for good deals. And spend until the money is gone.

I look at it this way. It took us 5 years of tying to get pregnant. Was blessed with DD9 and have no other kids. I'll spoil her as much as I can with out going into debt.

 

[QVCshopper]

I see plenty of people talking down about "I can't believe you much posters spend on their kids".... but I've never seen an "I can't believe a poster spends so little"..... Don't understand the double standards....

A friend of mine gets her kids things like a small alarm clock, raggie ann doll, and allen wrench for XMas. That's it. And yes, I do wonder how/why she spends so little on their presents. I don't think she's into material goods/clothing at all, and XMas is all about the religious aspect to her. But still... .

Oh, and I wonder how people don't buy their kids stuff throughout the year. Good for them; mine always get a few bucks out of me every now and then. Not always (I'm doing the no-buy month after all), but if I have a $12 coupon to Build a Bear, then my DD gets a new bear. And Five Below has to be their fav store, so I try to avoid that one at all costs...

 

[Ember]

Growing up I would get one gift from Santa, one or two from my mom and a few from my grandparents - not a lot of gifts, but everything was special and I never felt deprived. Then I had to choose one of my gifts to take to the children's hospital and give to a child who was sick when we went to voluntter at the Christmas party.

If I ever have children, I will do the same thing. We're not religious, but Christmas has never been about gifts in my family.

 

[IsisPrincess]

Can I ask about that. I don't know how to do it without sounding judgemental. so I apologize. We never reward school performance unless its outstanding (above and beyond) I guess the way I grew up you were "expected" to do my absolute best. Sure my parents were very supportive and always told me how proud I was if I came home with good grades but no way could I have said "can I get an Ipad for doing well in school" My mom would have laughed and said "girlie, that's what I expect you to bring home". I am the same way. I expect my kids to get grades that reflect their very best. Now one of my sons is an asperger kid so he's not a straight A kid, but I still expect great effort for him.

I just am amazed when parents say they are buying cars and stuff when their kids graduate from h.s. I always ask "isn't that what you expected them to do". When I was growing up graduating from H.S. was what you did if you didn't want your mom and dad to murder you.

No apology needed. My daughter has been a high honor roll student since 1st grade. She works very very hard and takes pride in every thing she does. She doesn't expect to be rewarded at all. All she wants is me to be there for her and support her in the things that she does.

Throughout the year my kids don't get any extras, only things that they need due to my financial position. This year I started planning way ahead of time to be able to get the things that they have been asking for for years that I was never able to afford.

They appreciate everything that is given to them. Some Christmas' I was only able to provide 1-2 gifts. I don't feel guilty about that but I wanted this year to be one of the best.

SN: My daughter will not be getting a car for graduation She will have to buy that for herself with her own money.