I'm proud >>>hiccup<<<< to say that my old kolledge buddies and I successfully completed the Epcot World Beer Tour on more than one occasion. I'm retired from the activity now, but >>>sigh<<<< (cue Springsteen's "Glory Days" here).
It is not for the faint-hearted or the weak-livered. And before attempting it, you must swear by the beer tour code:
1) DO NOT DISRESPECT THE MOUSE.
Of course, beer tours may only be attempted if you have a designated driver or other arranged transportation. Outright drunkenness is a no-no. Believe it or not, however, if done properly the beer tour can be completed without more than slight buzzification. The key is planning and a strict adherence to a timetable.
Always do a beer tour with at least one companion who is also drinking. It's always good to have a companion to commisserate with when the going gets tough -- and at some point in the day your ultimate goal is probably going to seem impossible. I don't think I'd try to complete a beer tour except on days when EPCOT is open late for Illuminations. You need a full 10 hours at least to complete the tour properly and without endangering your health.
There is no shame in bailing out. The Beer Tour is a worthy odyssey for some, but for others, the ultimate price will not be worth the reward.
Another tip. Some kids collect autographs. Some people like to learn how to say "thank you" in the language of each country. Learn how to say "beer" instead. You'll never remember most of them the next morning, but the exercise keeps blood flowing to your brain for that day at least.
The World Showcase opens at 11:00. Prior to that time, Beer Tour Candidates must be as close to Mexico as possible. The only proper way to conduct a beer tour is clockwise, to make sure you end up in the Rose and Crown, which is essentially beer tour nirvana. All beers must be consumed completely to qualify, but always opt for the small size. To do otherwise is folly.
11:01 a.m. In Mexico, have a Dos Equis and build up a food base with a starchy burrito or something similar. Go inside and have a picture taken with one of those monstrous sombreros. It won't be the silliest thing you do all day.
11:30 a.m. Norway is a favorite of most Beer Tour explorers, because of the crisp, dry, exceptional taste of a cold Ringnes. Sip one in the courtyard after a ride on the Maelstrom. If your conscience permits, flirt with one of the Norwegian girls. It's still early, and your eyes are clear.
12:15 a.m. Next stop -- China. I think many underestimate the taste of a cold Tsing Tao. Not bad at all.
1:00 p.m. There's also beer in Africa. No offense to the fine craftsmen of African beer, but the selections tend to be a bit syrupy and sweet for my palate. That being said, it's still "cheers" and down the hatch.
1:45 p.m. Then on to holy ground for a beer drinker: Germany. By this time, it's lunch, and another good opportunity to layer some food onto those hops. Go inside and watch the oompa-band, have a bratwurst and a cold Becks. Bonus points if you opt for the dark version.
2:15 p.m. OK, that's five beers in a couple of hours. You're definitely feeling it, so it's time for a break. Walk or hop on one of the lake boats back to the entrance to World Showcase, and take advantage of some of the other attractions. The Living Seas is a nice respite, as is the relaxing boat ride in The Land. Just don't do the Test Track or anything stomach-jiggling.
4:15 p.m. Back to the task at hand. Get back to Italy. Here's where many beer tour afficionados get tripped up. Certain times during the year, they don't offer beers in the outside kiosks, and you have to order them from Alfredo's, the sit-down restaurant. If the park is crowded you may be hopelessly snagged unless you have planned ahead and arranged for priority seating for your party. Go in, order some bread and appetizers (I recommend the fried calamari) along with your Peroni or Moretti, and then politely decline when it's time to order entrees. Scoot out of there, congratulate yourself on your ingenuity and for reaching the mid-point of your tour, and head for . . .
5:00 p.m: The United States. Sam Adams. Maybe get out of the sun and enjoy a cool interlude in the American Experience. But as all-American as I am, I live here, so I tend to keep moving, preferring instead to get back to the mysteries of the Orient.
5:30 p.m. Japan: the proper way to drink a beer here is to go into the bar upstairs that overlooks the lake. I recommend Asahi Dry. If you like sushi, there are plenty of great appetizers to choose from, and rice does a nice job replenishing your food base. Also, if you haven't already started by this point, I would definitely recommend drinking plenty of water between beers. After all, alcohol serves as a diuretic, and you can fend off late-afternoon tiredness and dehydration by staying well lubricated from a pure water standpoint.
6:30 p.m. There is also Morroccan beer available --- as I recall it isn't all that great, but it's not terrible either. At this point many will be craving a real dinner: If Marakkesh isn't crowded, I recommend heading in for dinner and checking out the belly-dancers. It's likely one of them will notice your vaguely glassy eyeballs and coax you out onto the dance floor with her to try to belly dance. Amazingly, with all that liquid in your stomach, you'll do an admirable job.
8:00 p.m. -- time is running short, and you're in the home stretch. Zip through the line at the bakery in France -- if you want dessert, fine, but don't forget to order a Kronenbourg -- not a bad product for a country of wine-snobs.
8:30 p.m. To save time, take your beer in France with you because you've got a walk ahead of you. Stroll through England without stopping. No matter how enticing the Rose and Crown is, save it for last. Go to Canada and grab a Molsen from the kiosk, then head back to the Rose and Crown.
9:15 p.m. Everyone is pressed around the lake watching Illuminations, so you've got a straight shot to the comfortable brass railing at the Rose and Crown. Depending on your state of mind, you can go easy with a half-pint of Harp. But if you're still feeling plucky, end it with a flourish -- a pint of a true black and tan -- Guinness and Bass.
There you have it. 12 beers in just over 10 hours. This necessarily means you're likely to be legally intoxicated at the conclusion of your Tour. Generally speaking, however, given normal weight and other considerations, your liver processes alcohol at the rate of one beer per hour, so if you've handled yourself properly, drank lots of water between beers, and eaten some meals, you shouldn't really be more than a bit tipsy.
For those with lower body weight or tolerance for alcohol, another way to complete the tour is with a partner -- buy a beer in each country and split it.
Finally, I must reiterate that this activity shouldn't be attempted by those who get sullen, angry, or depressed when they're drinking. Disney has made alcohol available in EPCOT for those who enjoy it, and I can think of no better argument against the Beer Tour experience than to point at a bad drunk being a jerk in a family vacation destination like Disney. As I said, there's no harm in calling a halt to your Tour if and when it becomes necessary. For this reason, I think it's good to have someone in your party who is not drinking, to be able to monitor and assess the condition of everyone else.
In conclusion, I am well aware that there are many who would question the motives and logic of Beer Tour adventurers, and ask "why?" And I can only respond with . . . . well, I would explain, but I'm late for happy hour.
It is not for the faint-hearted or the weak-livered. And before attempting it, you must swear by the beer tour code:
1) DO NOT DISRESPECT THE MOUSE.
Of course, beer tours may only be attempted if you have a designated driver or other arranged transportation. Outright drunkenness is a no-no. Believe it or not, however, if done properly the beer tour can be completed without more than slight buzzification. The key is planning and a strict adherence to a timetable.
Always do a beer tour with at least one companion who is also drinking. It's always good to have a companion to commisserate with when the going gets tough -- and at some point in the day your ultimate goal is probably going to seem impossible. I don't think I'd try to complete a beer tour except on days when EPCOT is open late for Illuminations. You need a full 10 hours at least to complete the tour properly and without endangering your health.
There is no shame in bailing out. The Beer Tour is a worthy odyssey for some, but for others, the ultimate price will not be worth the reward.
Another tip. Some kids collect autographs. Some people like to learn how to say "thank you" in the language of each country. Learn how to say "beer" instead. You'll never remember most of them the next morning, but the exercise keeps blood flowing to your brain for that day at least.
The World Showcase opens at 11:00. Prior to that time, Beer Tour Candidates must be as close to Mexico as possible. The only proper way to conduct a beer tour is clockwise, to make sure you end up in the Rose and Crown, which is essentially beer tour nirvana. All beers must be consumed completely to qualify, but always opt for the small size. To do otherwise is folly.
11:01 a.m. In Mexico, have a Dos Equis and build up a food base with a starchy burrito or something similar. Go inside and have a picture taken with one of those monstrous sombreros. It won't be the silliest thing you do all day.
11:30 a.m. Norway is a favorite of most Beer Tour explorers, because of the crisp, dry, exceptional taste of a cold Ringnes. Sip one in the courtyard after a ride on the Maelstrom. If your conscience permits, flirt with one of the Norwegian girls. It's still early, and your eyes are clear.
12:15 a.m. Next stop -- China. I think many underestimate the taste of a cold Tsing Tao. Not bad at all.
1:00 p.m. There's also beer in Africa. No offense to the fine craftsmen of African beer, but the selections tend to be a bit syrupy and sweet for my palate. That being said, it's still "cheers" and down the hatch.
1:45 p.m. Then on to holy ground for a beer drinker: Germany. By this time, it's lunch, and another good opportunity to layer some food onto those hops. Go inside and watch the oompa-band, have a bratwurst and a cold Becks. Bonus points if you opt for the dark version.
2:15 p.m. OK, that's five beers in a couple of hours. You're definitely feeling it, so it's time for a break. Walk or hop on one of the lake boats back to the entrance to World Showcase, and take advantage of some of the other attractions. The Living Seas is a nice respite, as is the relaxing boat ride in The Land. Just don't do the Test Track or anything stomach-jiggling.
4:15 p.m. Back to the task at hand. Get back to Italy. Here's where many beer tour afficionados get tripped up. Certain times during the year, they don't offer beers in the outside kiosks, and you have to order them from Alfredo's, the sit-down restaurant. If the park is crowded you may be hopelessly snagged unless you have planned ahead and arranged for priority seating for your party. Go in, order some bread and appetizers (I recommend the fried calamari) along with your Peroni or Moretti, and then politely decline when it's time to order entrees. Scoot out of there, congratulate yourself on your ingenuity and for reaching the mid-point of your tour, and head for . . .
5:00 p.m: The United States. Sam Adams. Maybe get out of the sun and enjoy a cool interlude in the American Experience. But as all-American as I am, I live here, so I tend to keep moving, preferring instead to get back to the mysteries of the Orient.
5:30 p.m. Japan: the proper way to drink a beer here is to go into the bar upstairs that overlooks the lake. I recommend Asahi Dry. If you like sushi, there are plenty of great appetizers to choose from, and rice does a nice job replenishing your food base. Also, if you haven't already started by this point, I would definitely recommend drinking plenty of water between beers. After all, alcohol serves as a diuretic, and you can fend off late-afternoon tiredness and dehydration by staying well lubricated from a pure water standpoint.
6:30 p.m. There is also Morroccan beer available --- as I recall it isn't all that great, but it's not terrible either. At this point many will be craving a real dinner: If Marakkesh isn't crowded, I recommend heading in for dinner and checking out the belly-dancers. It's likely one of them will notice your vaguely glassy eyeballs and coax you out onto the dance floor with her to try to belly dance. Amazingly, with all that liquid in your stomach, you'll do an admirable job.
8:00 p.m. -- time is running short, and you're in the home stretch. Zip through the line at the bakery in France -- if you want dessert, fine, but don't forget to order a Kronenbourg -- not a bad product for a country of wine-snobs.
8:30 p.m. To save time, take your beer in France with you because you've got a walk ahead of you. Stroll through England without stopping. No matter how enticing the Rose and Crown is, save it for last. Go to Canada and grab a Molsen from the kiosk, then head back to the Rose and Crown.
9:15 p.m. Everyone is pressed around the lake watching Illuminations, so you've got a straight shot to the comfortable brass railing at the Rose and Crown. Depending on your state of mind, you can go easy with a half-pint of Harp. But if you're still feeling plucky, end it with a flourish -- a pint of a true black and tan -- Guinness and Bass.
There you have it. 12 beers in just over 10 hours. This necessarily means you're likely to be legally intoxicated at the conclusion of your Tour. Generally speaking, however, given normal weight and other considerations, your liver processes alcohol at the rate of one beer per hour, so if you've handled yourself properly, drank lots of water between beers, and eaten some meals, you shouldn't really be more than a bit tipsy.
For those with lower body weight or tolerance for alcohol, another way to complete the tour is with a partner -- buy a beer in each country and split it.
Finally, I must reiterate that this activity shouldn't be attempted by those who get sullen, angry, or depressed when they're drinking. Disney has made alcohol available in EPCOT for those who enjoy it, and I can think of no better argument against the Beer Tour experience than to point at a bad drunk being a jerk in a family vacation destination like Disney. As I said, there's no harm in calling a halt to your Tour if and when it becomes necessary. For this reason, I think it's good to have someone in your party who is not drinking, to be able to monitor and assess the condition of everyone else.
In conclusion, I am well aware that there are many who would question the motives and logic of Beer Tour adventurers, and ask "why?" And I can only respond with . . . . well, I would explain, but I'm late for happy hour.
Well Done rejobako....Well Done. 
I'm touched that you would consider my post worthy of saving. I'd be honored to party with other Beer Tour competitors -- looks like we'd be heading to EPCOT from opposite directions, though -- we're on the Gulf coast just south of Sarasota. 
I think we will stick to the "sharing" plan as I don't think I will make it all on my own. 
