Anyone ever adopt internationally?

[Kim&Chris]

So far, I've had two (possibly three) devastating miscarriages and numerous operations to see why I simply can't carry a baby.

Now that I'm 40, it's probably time to say "ok, we're simply not meant to have our own baby".

With that being said, we're now moving towards adoption. It would wipe us out financially to adopt an American child (not to mention the possible years of waiting, and the possiblity of birthmothers changing their minds). I recently contacted Catholic Charities of Philadelphia, and was told that they are no longer taking applications based on the fact that there are simply not that many women putting their infants up for adoption these days.

Friends of ours just applied to HOLT International to adopt from China!!! They were told it could take approximately a year or so, and they'd have a beautiful little baby girl to call their own! We are seriously thinking of doing the same within the next few weeks

Have any of you had any experience with international adoptions that you wouldn't mind sharing with me? It's been a horrible year, full of disappointments, and I'd love to hear something (anything!) encouraging. At the same time, I'd also like to hear honest opinions as well.

 

[DisneyDmbNut]

I have a very good friend whos story mirrors yours...she now has 2 wonderfull children from Russia..3 and 1..if you would like..I will give her your email...maybe she can help you or just swap stories.

 

[JESW]

I am so sorry for your losses.

I have not adopted but my SIL adopted her son from Korea through Holt and had a good experience. She and her then-DH went over to pick him up - he's 4 now. And a good friend adopted her daughter from Korea, also through the Holt program. She and her DH traveled to get her and now she volunteers to be with families at the airport when their children arrive.

Good luck to you with whatever you choose!!

Jill

 

[CEDmom]

I'm really sorry for your losses. DH and I adopted DD from China through Holt. We traveled in June 2000 and DD was just 10 months old at the time. I would definitely recommend Holt. They've had a presence in Asia since the 1950's and make the whole process pretty easy. It took us 18 months from the start of the process to having DD placed in my arms. About 1/2 that time was literally waiting for our referral. Like most women who are pregnant the last few weeks were the hardest. The rest of the time went fairly quickly. It's hard to remember our life before DD. She's our joy and the greatest gift we've ever received. Good luck with your decision. Feel free to PM me if I can be of more help.

Happy Thanksgiving.

 

[wdwnutze]

My bil and sil adopted internationally. They adopted their son(now 17) when he was only a few months old. They went to New York to pick him up. They adopted their daughter(now 12 1/2) from Peru. They had to go and stay in Peru for an extended time. Needless to say, they are thrilled with their kids. Good luck with you decision.

 

[RUDisney]

We adopted our kids from Russia 2 years ago. We'll be having a little boy, Yuri, stay with us this Christmas. If you're interested in adopting a 6yo boy who is beautiful and very nice (we've met him before) we live outside of Scranton, so there isn't much distance between you and I.

I'll be happy to let you know our story and to give you contact information for World Links, the organization that we used. PM me so we can talk.

If you want someone younger, Russian adoptions start at 6 months since the government allows Russian citizens to adopt the children for the first 6 months that they are on the registry. Our adoption took only 7 months from start to finish. Tatiana has placed alot of children in the West Chester area.

 

[KingsFanInRI]

I have two friends who recently adopted their second child from China. I'm not sure if they went through Holt, but I remember it being a rather long, arduous process. The two girls are just the greatest and I know they don't regret a minute of the time spent to get them because of the lifetime of joy they will receive and the love they are able to both give and receive.
I'm very sorry to hear of your losses, but I hope that if you decide to take this route that you find all the joy in the world in doing so. Not to mention giving some less privileged children a new lease on life.

 

[loisg1]

DH and I adopted our DDs now 12 and 14 at just a few months of age from Colombia. My sister has two children, one from Colombia (6 yo) and the other from Guatemala (4 yo). There is a group called the Latin American Parents Association (LAPA) which has a group in NJ. It's a group of parents who help each other through the process and what to expect at various point during the process. If you would consider Latin America as a choice, they would be a great stepping stone as they can provide you with a listing of countries and orphanages that are available and are obviously safe.

Please feel free to pm me. Adoption is a wonderful experience.

Lois

 

[wuv tigger]

Kim & Chris,

I am also sorry for your loss. We also lost 3 children, two by ectopic pregnancies which almost took my wife's life. It took us a lot of time to work through choosing adoption as a good choice instead of a "second best" choice, but now we have 2 beautiful daughters!!!

We did both of ours domestically, so don't give up if that is what you want. The 1st took 18 mos start to finish and the 2nd 9 mos. Our experience was that international was significantly more expensive, but has a more certain time frame. Both of our girls are bi-racial, so that sped up our waiting time a little.

We have friends who have adopted in China (2 girls) and Belarus (1 boy). All went well and I can provide you with information if you want some. They were all about a year old when adopted vs. 26 days old for when we brought our girls home. Our state has a 25 day waiting period for parental rights to be terminated.

Uncle Sam will help you out with a $10k tax credit if your income is under like $175k (check). I will not pay income tax for two years because of this. My company also helped me out with $2k and legal fees through our legal plan. This makes it more affordable.

It can be done, but you need to stay encouraged and get a support team to help you. Please PM me if you have any other questions or need encouragement.

David

 

[PigletsPal]

My friend just came back from China in Sept where she picked up her twin daughters that was 11 months old. It took them about a year and then in June they were told of the twins but with the SARES scare they were put on hold for a few months. They had to stay over there for about 2+ wks. In just the couple of months they have grown by leaps and bonds.

Good Luck

 

[luvmarypoppins]

I would also recommend the Holt Agency. My cousins live in NJ and their two beautiful children, a boy and girl are from Korea. They are just thrilled and delighted to be parents. They too went through many invitros, dealing with lying birthmothers etc. It was heartbreaking to watch them go through this but the wait was well worth it. They are blessed as parents and their children are blessed as well. It is a long process. Lots of paperwork etc.

Other friends of ours adopted from russia. They dealt with an agency that had slightly older children and their relatives adopted a group of 3 siblings.

There are so many agencies out there. Make sure you deal with a reputable place and get lots of references from other happy parents. Best wishes to you both.

 

[Kim&Chris]

To all my wonderful DIS friends.........

Thanks to all of you who were kind enough to send information and words of encouragement. We now have some great "leads" and are looking forward to building our family (finally!). We know there will be challenges to face, but after the past few years, I think we can handle just about anything.

I hope all of you have a wonderful holiday. I feel so thankful to be part of these DIS boards

 

[Kim in TN]

Hi Kim and Chris
My DH and I are in the process of adopting internationally, from Kazakhstan. We hope to travel in Jan or Feb.

If you have any questions feel free to email me
marcusplus4@charter.net

Good luck in your decision and the process ahead.

See photo below

Kim

 

[septbride2002]

Friends of mine adopted from Guatemala and the experience went really well. Also you may want to watch "Adoption Stories" on the Discovery Health Network if receive it. There is some great stories on that show.

DH and I, for all we know, are perfectly able to have our own children but are considering adoption for our first child. I have always wanted to adopt and feel that there are so many children out in the world that need parents - why should I have my "own" when they need me. They need to have parents of their "own."

Here is the lawyer my friends went through here in St. Louis

http://www.r-rivera.com/

http://www.childrenoftheworldnet.com/

~Amanda

 

[slimplaw]

My sister and her husband left for China this morning to pick up their baby. They will return on Dec. 10. They are adopting through Gladney. It has been about 1 year since they turned in their dossier(sp?). We are anxiously awaiting their return with 11 month old Leanne.

 

[Mishetta]

Hi Kim&Chris,

Although I have never adopted, our good friends have. They adopted through Bethany Christian Services & they now have 2 beautiful little young ladies from China. It was a very positive experience for them except for the wait time of aprox. 1 year. Their daughters were both aprox 8 months old when they went to China to claim them. They are now 6 & 3 y/o. Each adoption cost them $25,000, that also includes their trip over to China.

Good luck to you!

 

[Dan Murphy]

What wonderful reading this thread was.

My very best to you, Kim&Chris, in your pursuit of adoption, and so sorry to read of your recent tough times and losses.

I really know nothing of international adoption and the process, nor of the adoption process today, but just passing on that as adoptive parents, the rewards could not be more. As many know here on the DIS, we adopted both our children as babies, 26 and 23 years ago. Both are great.

My very best to you both, and enjoy your day tomorrow, we do have much to be thankful for.

 

[wuv tigger]

Yes, Dan we do have alot to be thankful for tomorrow & every day.

We will be celebrating our dd1's birthday & her "gotcha day" - the day that she was placed in our arms while we are in the World in Jan. 04.