Anyone else wonder about Thank you cards?

[Jeafl]

I completely disagree with Doc Rafiki. I am JUST AS BUSY as anyone else and if I can take the time to shop for a gift, wrap it, buy a card and sit at a shower/wedding for hours, surely they can write a 2 sentence thank you note. I agree with whomever said it was entitlement mentality.

 

[jrmasm]

I am JUST AS BUSY as anyone else and if I can take the time to shop for a gift, wrap it, buy a card and sit at a shower/wedding for hours, surely they can write a 2 sentence thank you note.

Who has the entitlement mentality????

Look kids, 99% of the time when I buy a gift, it is because I want to. As result not matter how busy my schedule is, the gift is not a burden. I do it because I want to! If I get a T.Y. note or a phone call or a face to face thank you so be it. If not, big deal! There are much more important things to get outraged about!

 

[ead79]

I think that writing thank you notes is unfortunately a social grace that is going out the window these days. I was raised to send thank you notes for all gifts (except Christmas gifts for some reason--I think because most people give and receive gifts from each other then), and I think it's the least I can do considering someone gave me a gift. It's just my humble opinion, but I think it's proper etiquette to always send a handwritten thank you note.

 

[suzannen]

There is absolutely no excuse for not sending thank you notes. It's called common courtesy, manners and showing respect. It's something I believe we could use more of in today's society. My kids are expected to write them (with help from me for the younger one.)

I had one aunt (age 80) who was so disgusted by this issue that one year she quit giving birthday money to her nephews/nieces (and their kids) who never sent thank you notes. When they had the nerve to call and say "we never got our birthday check," she replied "that's interesting, I never got a birthday check thank you." Needless to say, they all send notes now.

 

[Evil Princess]

Personally, I'm graduating high school this sunday. I have received a few cards and checks in the mail, and I intend on sending Thank You notes to all of them, but AFTER my graduation is over. I keep getting them at different times, and I'm saving them all in my room for the day after graduation. I'd rather write them out at once and not forget anyone. It's a crazy time right now in my life.

 

[peg2001]

We send thank you notes and are teaching our young DDs to do the same. They draw a picture on the card and we write the words until they are old enough to print. Each year, we make them do a little more.

However, I wish we could have thank you notes abolished. I would gladly give up RECEIVING them if it relieved me of having to SEND them. A warm thank you in person or via phone call would then suffice.

Peggy

 

[Sweethappiness]

I don't see any excuse why people can't send thank you cards.
After having a baby shower, having a baby in March, Having a bridal shower in May and now I am getting married July 12. I still have found time to write thank you cards.
But that is my 2 cents.

 

[Mad4Mickey]

Oh my I had no idea I would start this by posting It is like the pool hopping thing LOL . I would like to clear something up, I was just venting and wanted to see if anyone else felt the same . I am not upset nor do I think I am self absorbed. I understand that people who are getting married are busy and have many other things they need to do . I think that if you have the time to run around scanning everything you want us to buy you have the time to at least smile at me in the hall at work and say " hey I really liked the ______ it is just what we needed". It is rude that is just my 2 cents, kinda like I think you should tip Mousekeeping LOL but that is for another thread ....'

ITS MY BIRTHDAY wahahahaaaaa

 

[Pin Wizard]

Thank-you notes should definitely be sent. DS attended a couple birthday parties in the past two months. Neither of them sent a thank-you! No matter what...if someone spends the time and money for an occasion, a note needs to be sent. Jeez...I sent thank-you's after we got back from our honeymoon. And when I was in the hospital recuperating after my c-section, I wrote out thanks-you's for all the baby gifts.

 

[Kirby]

Mad4Mickey, never thought you were upset about it but I agree with you that it is rude. I don't get upset when I don't receive thank you notes either. Just thought that I would state my opinion. Its a common courtesy that is slowing dying.

 

[DocRafiki]

I think you all need to get over your self-righteous selves. You should be ashamed that you even remember who did and did not send you a thank you note. I can't remember a single thank-you note I've ever gotten. But I do remember many many care packages that I've sent out to friends who were away from home or going through a hard time. I get my enjoyment from the thrill of the hunt of finding something that fits their personality and needs, putting the packages together, and imagining how fun it is to receive a package in the mail. Usually the person will just mention a short thanks the next time we talk or e-mail. If they never mentioned it, then I would be worried that it was lost in the mail. Otherwise, I don't do it for the glory of the attention that I'll get from them in the form of a thank-you letter. Honestly, if you're going to get pissy when I don't jump through the etiquette hoops, I do NOT want your gift. It takes all the fun out of receiving a gift or package. I don't see how it's an entitlement mentality when I also don't care whether or not a person sends me a gift. You all feel ENTITLED to a thank-you note. I've had three graduations, and never did I expect any gifts. And no I don't even remember who did or did not send me one. I do remember who came to the ceremonies, and that's the reason I send out the invitations-- so I can share the event with my friends. When it all becomes a chore and a guilt trip, it's not worth it.

 

[Kirby]

Doc Rafiki - So, I guess that you are telling us that you don't send out thank you notes to people who give you gifts. Or if you do, how do you decide who expects one and who doesn't, so that you don't send one to the person who expects it. Or maybe you just send their gift back.

Geez, give us a break. You are lumping all of us into one category. I love to give gifts and don't "expect" thank you notes. But it is, as I have stated before, a common courtesy to do so. You don't have to actually "write" a note, a phone call will do, e-mailing or even thanking the giver in person. It doesn't matter which. I think that was the original issue, that no thanks was given at all. You even say yourself that if no thanks were given for a mailed package you would think that it was lost in the mail. So some sort of acknowledgement must be expected by you.

Don't mean to give you a hard time, but felt that a response was needed. We all have different opinions which makes life interesting. But you don't have to start labeling us as "self-righteous" and "pissy". From the tone of your last post, this could also apply to you.

 

[Sweethappiness]

Kirby- I agree!

 

[TerriP]

Originally posted by DocRafiki
When it all becomes a chore and a guilt trip, it's not worth it.

I think you've just hit it on the head, DR. This is the big difference here....I don't consider it a chore to thank someone...I consider it common courtesy and something I want to do.

If you don't want to do it, for goodness sakes, DON'T. But you don't have to belittle people who disagree with you or resort to name calling.

 

[Jeafl]

Great post, Kirby!

I don't find it a chore at all to send thank you notes. I enjoy expressing my appreciation to someone who went out of their way to be kind to me.

 

[CathyCanada]

Doc, I'm not sure it is your place to tell people they should be ashamed of themselves simply because you disagree with their feelings. SAYING you disagree is one thing, but I think that was a little harsh, and yeah, unnecessary.

Just my 2 cents as a civilian.
CC

 

[Fire14]

I had my wedding shower thank you notes mailed 2 days after shower. Wedding thank yous went out as we got gift or after wedding. All were sent within a week of wedding except for the few gifts that stragled in after a few months anf those thank yous were sent shorty after receiving gift.


In same respect why can't ppl take 2 secs and check a box and put rsvp in envelope and drop inmailbox. I paid the postage.

 

[Tinkbell]

Originally posted by DocRafiki
I don't expect a thank-you card. I think it's a bit self-absorbed to get upset over it.

Actually, I think it's self-absorbed to not send a thank-you card. You just have to consider the thank-you notes as part of the package. If they had enough time to plan a wedding, they have enough time for a quick thank-you.

 

[EdiePA]

and wrote over 30 thank you notes for his graduation gifts. In my house, you don't get to use the gift or spend the money until you write the thank you.

In a spirit of co-operation, though, I did address the envelopes.

DS#1 sent out thank yous along with a photo of his missions team for everyone who sponsored his trip. All this with nary a reminder from Mom.

Some common courtesies must be taught.

Edie

 

[Mad4Mickey]

I had no idea this post I started would surface again . So I want to thank those of you who supported what I thought
I also want to thank those who didnt support what I thought, it shows that we are free to think whatever ,whenever
BUT I still think Thank You's in person or in a card should be expected . Or hey a phone call , smoke signal.....something........

Thanks again for the support
Mishell