Anyone else with a "young" kindergartner?

[Aidensmom]

My son started kindergarten on the 3rd, and just turned 5 on Thursday. He is by far the youngest child in his class according to his teacher, most in that situation hold their child back a year.

He is frustrated by the fact that a lot of the children know more than him, and I have been working with him every evening trying to help him to "catch up", but he told me on Friday that the other kids were "smarter" and it breaks my heart.

Anyone else in that situation? What do you do? I don't for one minute regret sending him to school now because I feel he is going at the time he should, but I don't want him to feel behind. On the plus side, his teacher told us Friday that he has better motor skills than most of the kids in his class, and that he is doing well at all they work on. I do have total confidence he can succeed, I was even younger when I started kindergarten and always was at the top of my class. I think it is just a confindence thing right now.

 

[janette]

Does your school offer a class between K & 1st? Our elementary had what they called D1 for kids that had finished K and weren't quite ready for 1st. It is perfect for many students.

Since he's already started I'd probably stick it out, if he continues to be very frustrated is there a good pre-K school in the area?

I think confidence is a very important factor in their academic performance. My girls are both the older ones in their classes. My oldest because of her birthday missing the cutoff and the younger has a summer birthday but has some learning issues so we opted to start her a little later.

If you leave him and he continues to struggle I wouldn't push him into 1st. Of all the grades to repeat I think K is the best.

 

[JoyG]

My guys were young last year when they started KG. Their birthday is August 22.

They did fine in KG in the public schools...they passed, but we are holding them back anyway. It's because they're switching from public school to private school and we found that they were NOT ready for the academic challenges of 1st grade in the private school they'll be going to.

So we're redoing Kindergarten. I don't feel to bad about it. I saw those desks in 1st grade and I know for sure my guys aren't ready to be sitting in desks all day with a pencil. They've got ants in their pants!

 

[beavismom]

Well, I was in a similar situation and my son was 4 for the first 2 months of kindergarten. I have had some issues over the years (he is entering 6th grade next week) due to the fact that he isn't as mature as some of the other kids in his class. There are times that that gap is glaring. With that said, I wouldn't go back and change my decision because he was ready for school after having preschool and pre-k. Your son will be fine and if you decide at the end of kindergarten that he isn't where you want him to be it is fairly common to have some kids repeat it. I doubt it will come to that though.

I think this is one of the toughest decisions I had to make as a parent and one that I still question once in a while.

 

[Aidensmom]

Does your school offer a class between K & 1st? Our elementary had what they called D1 for kids that had finished K and weren't quite ready for 1st. It is perfect for many students.

Since he's already started I'd probably stick it out, if he continues to be very frustrated is there a good pre-K school in the area?

I think confidence is a very important factor in their academic performance. My girls are both the older ones in their classes. My oldest because of her birthday missing the cutoff and the younger has a summer birthday but has some learning issues so we opted to start her a little later.

If you leave him and he continues to struggle I wouldn't push him into 1st. Of all the grades to repeat I think K is the best.

We don't have the in between class. And he already finished Pre-K.

If it comes down to at the end of the year that it is recommended that he repeat kindergarten, I would not hesitate to do so. I do think right now though that he has capabilities, just is having trouble with the confidence. He had a little trouble in Pre-k with the same thing because he was the youngest, and was able to overcome most things. I think though that because a lot of kids are close to a year older, there IS a difference in capabilities just because at that age a year is a big difference. I just want to find a way to make him more confident, because I am pretty sure he can do what is expected.

 

[Aidensmom]

Well, I was in a similar situation and my son was 4 for the first 2 months of kindergarten. I have had some issues over the years (he is entering 6th grade next week) due to the fact that he isn't as mature as some of the other kids in his class. There are times that that gap is glaring. With that said, I wouldn't go back and change my decision because he was ready for school after having preschool and pre-k. Your son will be fine and if you decide at the end of kindergarten that he isn't where you want him to be it is fairly common to have some kids repeat it. I doubt it will come to that though.

I think this is one of the toughest decisions I had to make as a parent and one that I still question once in a while.

Thank you for this post. This is a lot how I feel. I think I made the right decision, but I do sometimes question it.

 

[Cool-Beans]

When I sent DS #1 off to K, I was sure that he wasn't as mature as the others, maybe not as prepared to be out in the world as they were. Quickly found out that everyone feels that way when their first begins school. By the time #3 went off, I was like, "OK, here's the bus, have a nice day, see you when you get home!"

Aiden will thrive...you'll see. And if you feel he's not ready for 1st grade, he can always do K again!

I have that same feeling now that he's going to college. He's not a grown-up! Not as mature as the rest of them! I was just telling DH it is EXACTLY the same feeling I had when he was little. It never ends, that Mommy Thing.

 

[FroggyinArk]

from what i have heard,, in a few weeks he'll be teaching them new things..lol.. hes a smart kid, and he'll be ok,

 

[beavismom]

I just wanted to add that you shouldn't be afraid to point out to the teachers that your son is a "young" kindie either. There were times that I had to remind my son's teachers that he was a full year behind some of the other kids. Oh, and the motor skills thing is huge! That was one area that we really had to work on... he still has horrible handwriting, but his teachers claim is isn't as bad as some of the others.

 

[janette]

We don't have the in between class. And he already finished Pre-K.

If it comes down to at the end of the year that it is recommended that he repeat kindergarten, I would not hesitate to do so. I do think right now though that he has capabilities, just is having trouble with the confidence. He had a little trouble in Pre-k with the same thing because he was the youngest, and was able to overcome most things. I think though that because a lot of kids are close to a year older, there IS a difference in capabilities just because at that age a year is a big difference. I just want to find a way to make him more confident, because I am pretty sure he can do what is expected.

Sounds like a good plan.

 

[AngieBelle]

My sister started kindergarden at 4 and a half. Her birthday isn't until March!

She graduated college 2 years ago.

 

[aprilgail2]

My daughter was 4 the first 3 months of kindergarten and I was going to hold her back but she is very bright (not gifted!), there was and always will be some maturity issues but she is going to have to work it out. She is 6 now and going into second grade and it is a little less noticable now but still there. And to make it worse for her she is small, 37 pounds and under 4 feet tall-there is a kid that is 5 foot 3 and 109 pounds in her class so she seems even smaller in there!
Let him give it a shot, if you feel he is not ready in first grade you can hold him back for one more year.

 

[poohandwendy]

Awww, {{{HUGS}}} to you and Aiden. I have no doubt this is just the adjustment period for him. Like you say, it's a confidence thing and you know what, in a few weeks I will bet he blends right in and feels much more confident about it. And I would bet he is not the only one feeling that way right now, regardless of age or ability.

I think I would just continue to go over his work with him every night for a while to see that he is moving along smoothly. I wouldn't really worry about it too much until he is at least a month in and unless it becomes worse. This is a big adjustment for most kids and I bet it will get better once he gets into the routine of it all.

I hope he is feeling better about it soon!

 

[Aidensmom]

My daughter was 4 the first 3 months of kindergarten and I was going to hold her back but she is very bright (not gifted!), there was and always will be some maturity issues but she is going to have to work it out. She is 6 now and going into second grade and it is a little less noticable now but still there. And to make it worse for her she is small, 37 pounds and under 4 feet tall-there is a kid that is 5 foot 3 and 109 pounds in her class so she seems even smaller in there!
Let him give it a shot, if you feel he is not ready in first grade you can hold him back for one more year.

The difference in sizes is amazing! I am only 5'1" so he has my genes, plus he was premature, so Aiden is very small...40 inches tall and 36 lbs. There are kids in his class that are the size I was when I was in like 6th grade...about 70 lbs and over 4' tall!

 

[janey99]

DS was young. He is 7 now and entering third grade - he won't be 8 until the end of October.

If I had it to do all over again, I can't decide if I would have held him back. We moved to the US from abroad and we didn't realize that some people hold their kids back on purpose (for sports??!!), so not only is he younger than the alleged "average" kid in his year, he's almost 2 years younger than some other kids held back on purpose for no reason although they are the right age for the year ahead. (a whole other thread - should parents be allowed to game the system this way?)

He was fine in kg, but struggled a bit in first grade - reading did not come as easily to him, and he ended up in extra reading classes and extra writing classes to improve his fine motor skills. This made him sad because he was pulled out of regular classroom activities to do these, and he felt like he was missing things. Second grade was a little better, and he cycled out of special reading and math, and into a regular reading group. He is an only child, so he spends lots of time interacting with adults and is very verbal. We have also discovered he is very bright at science and math. His confidence is very good now.

Going into third grade, I think he is in good shape. My colleague's DH is a teacher and he has said they all catch up by third grade, and it seems true in our case. I have worked with him over the summer, to do math sheets and silent reading, so he didn't lose skills, and that seems to have helped too.

Finally, we always make sure teachers know his age - his second grade teacher asked him his age early in the year, and he told her, and she thought he must have some "issue" because he told her he was 6, but she didn't believe he could be 6, and therefore he must not know his own age! She also admitted that she had been thinking he might be delayed, but in the context of his true age, he was fine.

I guess the take away from my ramble is that you have to judge this issue in the context of your own child, and not be afraid to zig and zag to make it work for him or her.

Good luck,

Jane

 

[ICEMANPAD]

Our DS also started Kindergarten prior to his 5th birthday. He turned 5 in October. Now he is starting 2nd grade and will not be 7 until October. He is also small-40 lbs and 44 inches. He has had some maturity issues, but academically and socially he has thrived. He is in advanced math and reading and has lots of friends!! If he was held back due to his age, he would have been very, very bored.

 

[Rachie0507]

My DD was the youngest in her Kindergarten class last year. The cutoff in MA is Sept. 1st and her b-day is Aug. 26th. She is a bright kid so I wasn't worried, but she did actually have some maturity issues. I had to be aware of her motor skills--everything from jumping on one foot to holding a pencil properly. She also was a little sensitive to children who played rough. Her teacher and I talked about it many times through the year and always agreed that it was just the age difference. There were no other summer b-day kids in her class. But DD noticed that some of the other kids could do those things better than her. I reminded her that it was because they were almost a year older than her. By the end of the school year, she was the top reader for her class yet she was frustrated that everyone was losing teeth but her. That was her priority.

Her Kindergarten teacher told me we will always need to keep an eye out for the maturity issue, even though she will do fine with academics. We have actually decided to send her to a private school now and have found out that there are at least 3 other August birthdays in her new class.

 

[wdwobsessed]

As a mom of two boys I think it's always better to err on the side of caution when they are close to the cut off point for school. I have never talked to anyone who regretted making a child wait but have talked to people who regretted sending them too early. I also was the youngest in my class and I wish my mom had made me wait.

Anyway - My first son has a 12/28 birthday. At that time in Maryland they could go if they were 5 by 12/31. For me this was a no-brainer ... I kept him out another year ... best decision I ever made.

My 2nd son is a 7/8 birthday. Now they are starting to push back the KG entering date and the year he entered I think they had to be 5 by September 31st or maybe it was October 31st. I'm not sure.

I went back and forth back and forth over what to do and then I just went ahead and sent him.

I wish I had not.

I was hoping they would hold him back but they didn't and put him in 1st grade ... I didn't know I could request that he be held back.

So 1st grade almost swallowed him alive. I had to fight with him to go to school and he missed a lot.

This year we are having him repeat 1st grade. I know in my gut it is the best decision I ever made. It works out great because we just moved so no one will "know" that he is repeating.

Follow your gut ... regardless of b-day or when they are "supposed" to go. If he is unhappy that is a BIG red flag. Even my son liked KG for the most part.

WDWO

 

[my3kids]

All my children have been about the youngest in their classes. It has been fine.

 

[golfgal]

DS14 is young, July birthday, Sept 1st cutoff. It isn't so much that he is young as it is everyone else is old. When he started kindergarten he was young but not the youngest. We moved when he was going into 1st grade into a town where everyone held their kids back. Last year in 8th grade he had kids that were turning 15 in Dec/Jan/Feb in his class, getting driver's permits, the whole deal. He won't be getting that for another whole YEAR from now. You put him next to a kid that is about 2 years older and he is going to seem immature when he is probably at an average maturity level for a 14 year old boy.

Kids at this age have such a HUGE learning curve that he will pick things up fast. Being an oldest child makes a difference too. Often oldest children don't have as much base information as younger siblings because they aren't exposed to older siblings doing their homework. Our twins were counting to 100 by they time they were 3 because they heard us doing that with DS14. DS14 learned that in kindergarten because we didn't think to teach him that before school. He learned that in a matter of a couple days.

Hindsight, I wish we would have held him back. It wasn't so much an issue in elementary school, but middle school was horrible for him. We are hoping high school in our new town is good for him (so far so good but school hasn't started, just marching band practice).