Anyone else with a reluctant child?

[LavenderPeach]

Alternate title to this thread: Where do you hide when your child is screaming during a ride?

I'm really excited to be getting our APs activated soon (probably in the middle of November) but I'm getting a little nervous about how DS3 will react to the rides. He has an extensive medical history that has made him very leary of new things since he never knows when someone is going to do something scary like poke him with a needle or something. I think he will like some of the rides like the Casey Jr. Train since he's ridden on a few little trains before but I'm not sure what he'll think of the rides that go inside like Pooh or IASW. I think he might really like these but what do I do if he screams his head off? Anyone ever had an experience like this? We will definitely be taking it very slow and obviously wouldn't put him on a ride that we know he won't like. And of course we don't want to annoy the other guests but we also want to expose him to some new experiences since he's had to be fairly isolated in the past because of his medical issues. Any thoughts, stories, suggestions, words of encouragement?

 

[avalon451]

Watch YouTube videos with him. They have them of ALL the rides, beginning to end. He can decide if it looks like something he would enjoy doing. In this way, my 5 y.o. decided that she would go on Peter Pan, Toad, Pinocchio, Winnie the Pooh, Splash Mountain, and even Big Thunder Mountain. And after much deliberation, she decided that she would do Pirates, as long as I told her when Davey Jones was coming up so she could shut her eyes for that part. She decided that she did not want to do Indy, Haunted Mansion or Space Mountain... among others. You get the idea. Give them the power and a little preview and they can talk about Disney Magic, and how it's not real, and Mickey would not let them get hurt at Disneyland.

It worked well for us.

 

[PinkBudgie]

Well, Auntie still needs to send him that Disnyland video for his birthday... I've been sick, but now that I'm better, I should be able to get to the post office soon. The You Tube idea is good because I'm sure the video I'm sending probably doesn't show much of the inside of the ride.

 

[TiggerNZ]

Hi there,

sorry to hear about your sons past medical issues, I hope he is doing OK now

I don't really have any words of advice, or wisdom, but wanted to let you know I kind of understand how you feel, my ds6 is very very nervous of new things, and whilst he is a huge Disney fan he does NOT like heights and can be very cagey about things. Even at home he is reluctant to climb up climbing frames, and ride his bike etc etc, this is just his personality though!

So I have some concerns over some of the rides too. I personally find that bribery works a treat in situations like this.....not great parenting I know but it works for him. I do things along the lines of when you've riden your bike 3 times in a circle you can have an icecream/sweet etc. if he's really being stubborn I remove something "if you don't ride your bike no Playstation for today" sounds terrible I know - but I don't know how else to get rhough to him at times.

Perhaps with your son, taking something comforting/familiar will help (a toy/teddy bear) or let him choose a new one when you get there and then use the bear/toy for the emotions "hold bears hand so he doesn't get scared" "If bear doesn't like it then we can give him a cuddle" I have also found that using an inanimate object to be able to be afraid works well for kids who can't always/don't want to explain how they feel.

I hope your trip goes well, and def think that starting with familiar rides will be good, and then you can build up to other ones over time. He may surprise you and love them all, but better cautious than sorry I guess!

Good luck with it all, and hope you all have a wonderful time, sounds like you deserve it.

Oh and maybe watch lots of movies, so that rather than focusing on the actual ride, you can spend the time looking for characters/hidden mickeys or something to remove his attention from whats going on - distraction

 

[NicksMommy]

My son also has the same fear we have been several times to Dl and WDW and he has had some hesitation to get on rides but once he see's them and I explain that they will stop eventually he is fine! I think just take your son and explain to him the rides and how much fun the other people are having on them and that nothing will happen to him and that he won't get hurt. Just let him warm up to the whole idea of riding... I hope when you guys do go you have lots of fun!!

 

[PinkBudgie]

So I have some concerns over some of the rides too. I personally find that bribery works a treat in situations like this.....not great parenting I know but it works for him. I do things along the lines of when you've riden your bike 3 times in a circle you can have an icecream/sweet etc. if he's really being stubborn I remove something "if you don't ride your bike no Playstation for today" sounds terrible I know - but I don't know how else to get rhough to him at times.

I don't think that's terrible at all. You are helping your child to try things he wouldn't otherwise. There is a boy in my Pre-K class who is very afraid of new things. We offer him stickers when he gives it a try even if he is still afraid. It has worked with him and after a while he doesn't need the stickers to do what ever it is, he used to it.

 

[abby]

We joke my dd8 is a ride wimp. My suggestion is take it slow, go on the mild kiddie rides first until your child is confortable. Offer other rides and let the child decide. My rule is I won't force a child on a ride (although I am tempted at times) Got dd on Grizzly RR and she hated it, (didn't help we were with a bunch of 13 year old girls who were screaming...) I won't force her to go back.
If there is a bad ride experience, go back to mild for awhile.

 

[Mugglemama]

you may want to just stick to the rides that don't go indoors. the carousel, casey jr, teacups (you might want to refrain from giving your cup a spin!), the go-coaster in toontown, the rockets in tomorrowland, the storybook canal boats, dumbo, etc.

the pooh ride doesn't have any scary-themed elements to it, the way pinocchio and snow white do. and peter pan doesn't, either, as well as buzz lightyear.

over at DCA, the bug's land rides are all outdoor rides. if he's 40" tall you could also try jumpin' jellyfish. the golden zephyr is outdoors and has no height requirement. there's the carousel there, too. and TSMM is very lighthearted and "happy" all the way through, and not overly dark. and monsters, inc. is very mellow and non-scary, too.

toontown is a good place to play and just explore. you could take him on the disneyland train, too! you could also do the jungle cruise, during the day (it's a little spooky at night), and take him up tarzan's treehouse.

there's really plenty to fill up your day, even with a little one who is reluctant.

hope you have a great time! i understand to a degree, because when my oldest was very young, she also had scary medical procedures, and for a long time afterward was afraid of a lot of things because of it.

 

[Krissy Marissy]

Sorry about your sons medical issues. I am sure that someone going through things like that at such a young age really sticks with them.

Take it slow and hopefully warm him up to the ones that go inside. Does he have a favorite disney movie that is also a dark ride? Like snow white or peter pan...monsters inc? Maybe that one should be his first dark indoor ride? I am not sure what I would do if my son or daughter reacted that way but it happens. Most people will hopefully understand since they themselves are parents.

 

[bumbershoot]

3 is a hard age. DS loved everything at 1, in his 1 year old way. Loved more at 2. Then the whole time he was 3 (which was our BIG year of going to DLR) he was difficult. Went on POTC *once*, and he loves that ride (and movie)!

Then we were there for his 4th birthday and it was night and day to his 3s.

So just this age tends to be difficult. Patience, switching out (one adult stays with him going on Casey 18 times in a row while the other adult goes on what they want for an hour or so), and starting with the lightest rides possible.

Peter Pan can be scary b/c you're dangling and there are pirates. Pooh un-nerved my son during the Heffalump stuff and the dream spooky voice. DS has only been on Alice *once*. Even at 4 he rejected it (at 3 we had to get out of line before we even got on the ride b/c he was putting up such a fuss).

However, a bug's land is great! Well, I don't know about It's Tough To Be A Bug b/c we haven't done it yet. But the rest is fun, bright, cheery, happy, and open. Very fun for DS.

 

[wannagoback]

DD3 likes Pooh the cartoon, kind of liked Pooh the ride, did not like Pooh the character. She didn't like that the ride was dark and loud, and did not like the big characters. We also went on the Roger Rabbit ride, and after that experience, I didn't take her on any more dark rides. Well, we went on Buzz Lightyear which she loved, I think the shooting aspect helped distract her.

I suppose the benefit of the dark rides is that they (at least the 2 we went on) were so loud that it would be difficult to hear a child unless they were really screaming.

You can, of course, try one or more of the dark rides, but there is so much to do that if you avoid the dark rides, you probably won't feel like you're missing anything. DD's absolute favorite was the Playhouse Disney Live show at DCA and if your son is familiar with those shows, I would definitely recommend it!

 

[CrazyDuck]

Maybe you should try a ride with an indoor queue. Maybe something like Roger Rabbits spin. That way if he loses it before you get to the loading area you can easily make your way out the exit!

 

[DizMe]

We began taking dd8 to DL when she was 4. She has been variously diagnosed with autism, Asperger's, auditory/visual processing disorder, etc., with no 2 testers in agreement. She does just fine 95% of the time, but has some real sensory issues which are somewhat unpredictable for us. What we think will scare her doesn't faze her in the least, while things we hadn't even considered send her off the deep end.

Things we've found that scared her:

*self-flushing toilets is the biggest culprit. This can be very difficult since they have gone to all or almost all self-flushing now. Hopefully your son does not have this fear, but it is fairly common. Maybe it's easier with a boy, though.

*fireworks! HUGE mistake trying to watch those!! She tried to crawl inside my sweatshirt (while I was wearing it) to get away. We took her on a dark ride (POTC) to escape. Notice that she tolerated the pirate cannons and flashes of light on the ride, but could not stand the fireworks. She did not like the cannons but she could cover her ears and close her eyes for those.

*lots of noise/crowds. She would chew on her sweatshirt until her whole sleeve was soaked. We bought her a rubber key chain and attached it to her zipper. This worked well; she chewed away on the rubber thing and her sweatshirt remained dry.

*sudden bursts of noise. The Mark Twain whistle, for instance, or a band suddenly starting up might give her a fright. This was usually easy to overcome though because there were so many interesting things to see.

What didn't bother her at all or only a little:

*scary rides. She loves the thrill of all of the 'mountain' rides and chose to ride in the very front of Splash every time (which I believe is no longer allowed). She liked the dark rides, wasn't bothered by the flashing lights and loud music in Space Mountain, was not afraid of the witches or yeti etc. I think the difference is that she sees those as pretend things, things that are real in the imagination. I can't explain why she wasn't afraid of Splash Mountain or ToT, though! It's still a mystery to me. This is a girl who can't tolerate the vacuum cleaner, LOL.

*costumed characters

*lack of routine

*lots of distractions

It's just hard to predict what might scare a kid. I personally was petrified of the Dumbo ride as a kid, but I loved the dark rides. I think the best thing is to play it by ear. If your ds really wants to go on a dark ride, go ahead. It won't be the end of the world if he screams, and you can then know for sure to avoid them Maybe start with one of the ones that doesn't have scary things inside, as mentioned by others, and see how it goes. You'll probably get a pretty good idea before long as to what he will like and what he might find frightening.

 

[disneydreamerbelle]

Watch YouTube videos with him. They have them of ALL the rides, beginning to end. He can decide if it looks like something he would enjoy doing. In this way, my 5 y.o. decided that she would go on Peter Pan, Toad, Pinocchio, Winnie the Pooh, Splash Mountain, and even Big Thunder Mountain. And after much deliberation, she decided that she would do Pirates, as long as I told her when Davey Jones was coming up so she could shut her eyes for that part. She decided that she did not want to do Indy, Haunted Mansion or Space Mountain... among others. You get the idea. Give them the power and a little preview and they can talk about Disney Magic, and how it's not real, and Mickey would not let them get hurt at Disneyland.

It worked well for us.

I second the You Tube videos. We did this with DS4 so he would know what to expect, and so we could judge his reactions and decide what he would be comfortable on. You can find almost every ride online and it makes a big difference!

 

[LavenderPeach]

Thanks for all the great suggestions everyone! And yes, DS is doing much better now medically. Two years ago it was really hard because he had a trach and was on a ventilator which made it very difficult to go anywhere and we also tried to keep him somewhat isolated because we needed to keep him well in order to eventually get him off the vent. He's had the trach out since last Feb. so we're finally free! Well, we're mostly free. He still requires a feeding tube but compared to what it was like carrying around all the equipment necessary for the vent, the feeding tube is a piece of cake. Don't get me started on DS's medical history or i'll never stop!

Anyway...... Pinkbudgie, we'll be anxiously awaiting the DVD from Auntie and in the meantime I'm going to try showing him some youtube videos. I was trying to show him one yesterday and he discovered that if you push the space bar the movie starts and stops so i think he was paying more attention to that than the actual movie.

I've also made a disney "textbook" with pictures of some of the characters (especially ones that have rides) so he will be more familiar with the stuff at DL. He doesn't really talk yet so he can't say much about what he's looking at but he can point to the different characters if I ask him where they are. I've tried showing him a couple of disney dvds but he wasn't that interested. He did watch part of cars a few weeks ago when he was having a test done at the hospital so that's a start.

I figure we'll start with the train rides (being a 3 year old boy he of course loves Thomas). And I think Bug's Land will be good too since it is all outside. Then maybe we can slowly introduce some of the other rides. And we live fairly close to DL so we'll be able to take it slow and not feel like we have to see everythng since we'll be coming back so much. I'm hoping that by the end of the year we will have made some progress and DS will start to see that there are other places to go besides doctor's appointments and therapy sessions and that it can be fun to see new things.

 

[LavenderPeach]

Hi there,

So I have some concerns over some of the rides too. I personally find that bribery works a treat in situations like this.....not great parenting I know but it works for him. I do things along the lines of when you've riden your bike 3 times in a circle you can have an icecream/sweet etc. if he's really being stubborn I remove something "if you don't ride your bike no Playstation for today" sounds terrible I know - but I don't know how else to get rhough to him at times.

I agree with PinkBudgie. This isn't bad parenting. In fact, in order to get DS to eat anything by mouth (as opposed to his feeding tube) we have to tell him he can't have the toy until he takes a bite. It works great and is what all the therapists do. I've also been told that it isn't bribery but it it's like earning wages. You have to do work first and then you get paid, just like in the real world. So see? You're just preparing him for being in the work force.

 

[lisah0711]

Glad to hear that your son is doing better. Bug's Land is a great choice but do not take him on It's Tough to be a Bug unless you have seen it first. There are lots of surprises, even "pokes," I have a 9 year old who happily rides Screamin', Splash, etc. but still doesn't like Bug because of a bad experience when he was three.

I am glad that you are the kind of parent to let him try things and not force him on something. I was shocked in August to hear a guy tell his 18 month old that he "had to be a man and face his fears!"

I am sure that you will have a great time as there is so much to see and do!

 

[PHXscuba]

Definitely prepare an anxious child. YouTube is great, plus there is an older Sing-Along Disneyland video you can probably find at the library or online. Helps them get the "feel" for Disneyland.
DS at 4.5 was coaxed onto most rides but didn't even make it into the elevator room at Haunted Mansion before he empatically stated he wanted to leave, so we didn't push it. I would find out where the "chicken exits" are and don't feel bad about using them.
DD was the same age when we took her the first time. She is better about surprises, but we goofed on ride order with her. Mr Toad had a really short line as we walked by, so we decided to do it first. BIG mistake. She bawled throught the line (which is a little dark) and howled through the ride. It took a while and several outside rides before she trusted us again. Later when she was more comfortable, she let us take her on other dark rides.
Everyone thinks Fantasyland is great to start kids at. I would qualify that to say the outside parts of Fantasyland. I guess I'd ride Dumbo, the teacups, etc. where your son can see what's going on before venturing in the dark. I personally like ToonTown better for this reason. Lots for younger children to SEE as well as do. And the Gadget Coaster makes a great first coaster for the kids to try out.
Good luck. I'm sure you're used to seeing the world through your son's eyes, and Disneyland can be a wonderful place to see that in a magical way.

PHXscuba

 

[01spirit750]

The youtube suggestion is good. I used a website, visions fantastic, which has all the ride videos. You have to register but it is free.

This helped my then 2.5 yo daughter understand the rides.

We did experience an issue. When my daughter rode the matterhorn the first few times, she didn't want to get off, she wanted to go again. She had a melt down and started screaming. We just talked to her calmly and explained we could get back in line. This didn't really help, as you understand most 2-3 year old kids can't understan reason or logic like this.

Chris

 

[tortugaverde]

I second the suggestion to NOT watch the Its tough to be a bug, show. We were lured in by my mother in law who said "it is a cute little show" and by a smilling unassuming CM who called my kids "little bugs". We happily entered a very cool cave, which impressed my kids... not to mention they were given cool bug glasses on the way in. I have lots of smilling, happy pictures in that cave
When we left, my kids were ripping the glasses off screaming in terror all of the way out of the neat bug cave... we walked right past the smilling CM who said "awww, poor little bug". Yeah. That ride should have a warning out front!
My kids were freaked out the rest of the day. My son lost it when the lights dimmed during the Aladin show and I had to take him out for a short while and then I could only watch while standing above the seating area while holding him. It took a few days for them to pull out of it.

Also, something that worked for my kids was to give them a play by play of what was going to happen. On the last day my kiddos even rode the HM, but I gave them a play by play during the entire ride of what was going to happen.

Good luck