We are usually a mid-day break family, so we tend to be out later at night (usually back at the hotel by 10-11, so not too crazy!). We have been a half dozen times in the past 10 years. In that time, we have seen MSEP and Spectro many times, usually as we are walking through Frontierland.
We have done the dessert party once in order to see Wishes all the way through, which was nice. The rest of the time, we try and catch it as we ride Splash or Thunder Mts- and that suits us perfectly. (We have also see the 4th of July fireworks from the sunroom at Tonys, which was a neat experience
)
This past summer is the first (and quite possibly only) time we have seen Fantasmic in that time. We did the dinner package, but I still felt like a canned sardine sitting in that theater. It was just not magical for us, and thats ok. At least we can say we experienced it.
The one thing we DO make a priority every trip is Illuminations. I wont say it is anything more special than the others, and we dont stake out a seat for hours in advance. We make a 7:15-7:30 dinner reservation at Rose and Crown and ask to be seated on the patio. We like eating dinner there, and we love the view of the show there as well. Plus, once the show is over, we are typically finishing dessert, so that gives the crowds time to disperse. (Also, we typically stay at BWV, so the short walk home is an advantage over the bus!)
Bottom line, you have to do what you feel is right for you and your family.
