Anyone else has a DH who just doesn't 'get' WDW??

[tinkerrn]

Just got back from our honeymoon at WDW. We had a great time, however, was a slight disappointed. I spent 9 months planning this trip; had ADRs set up, carriage rides, mini wedding cakes, etc. Well, we ended up canacelling 7 of our ADRs. We went to MGM and rode RnRC x2, walked around WS a few times, did not go to Future world, went to MK for MNSSHP and CRT~stayed for a few hours. Did spend about 4 hours at AK, and went to TL for the afternoon. DH just doesn't get it at all!!!! He just wanted to 'relax', lie out at the pool or watch TV. I was up and ready to go by 7 am, he didn't get up until about 10 am every day. I just had so many 'dreams', but they weren't meant to be. Anyone elses spouse have a different idea on what vacation is?????
I told him that we either need seperate vacations or to take another couple with us next time!!!!! Any advise??? The best part of it is...he upgraded our tickets to APs!!??? Go figure huh??? He actually wants to go BACK!!!! How do I cope/deal???
We need to start a support group for those with NON-ADDICTED SPOUSES !!! Got a story to share??? Or any hints???

Amy

 

[kpk89]

Mine is not, thankfully. He doesn't really get my consuming obsession with all things Disney, but he appreciates the magic and follows my instructions while we're there.

It sounds like your dh (congratulations on your wedding, by the way!) did enjoy himself, enough so to buy AP's. Maybe this means that you'll go more often, so that you'll be able to blend your vacation style and his better, because you won't have the pressure of "it's a one time thing" making you want to do more and more. So go at off-peak times, when getting up and out early isn't such a priority, and enjoy! You probably had some pretty major fantasies about the Disney honeymoon, and I'm sorry those didn't turn out the way you'd hoped and planned. But the upside is, you'll be going back!

 

[Irishmommyof4]

Sorry it wasn't what you expected!
From someone who's been married 10 years now, this is the first of many times you'll go when you realize that there's much more to this person than you thought you knew- some will make you go and some will make you .
Either way, it's all a part of the journey of sharing your life. Your spouse isn't a killjoy- sounds like you guys just have two different ideas on what makes a vacation- his is to relax, yours is to go and do. Next time, make a loose schedule that works for both of you (1 morning of rides,the afternoon by the pool, etc).
Congrats on your marriage!

 

[pjew]

OMG!!! I am not the only one with a husband that "doesn't get WDW"!

I have been planning this trip for nearly a year - and he barely even mentions it - and we leave in less than 2 months. When i do bring it up - it is no big deal for him. He says that 'we've been there done that'. (twice before)
I say we've been there and done that also too many time in Vegas - but we still go (his choice). He is not supportive at all - with our disney trips - he just goes cause he fells like he has to. ARGHAGGGGA!!!!!

 

[Tay N Evie's Mom]

You've just discovered one of the many hidden secrets that you'll learn as a newlywed-you and your DH aren't vacation compatable. I had a similar experience on my honeymoon 13 years ago. DH and I went to Hawaii for 10 nights. I envisioned sitting by the pool drinking tropical drinks, romantic walks on the beach, playing in the waves, etc. I found out very quickly that DH is more of a sightseer and doesn't care to swim or be around the pool or beach. Out of 10 days I went to the pool twice for about an hour each and dipped my toes in the Pacific Ocean for about 5 seconds while DH stood on the beach with his shoes on. We did manage to visit every historical sight on Maui and Kaui and even spent 8 hours on the twisty road to Hana. For several years after I would ask him about going to a couples resort, the caribbean, or anyplace with sand and sun, but we ended up going to Phoenix on a golf vacation and Washington DC. Since we've had kids he's mellowed a little more and we've been on 3 DCL with 2 more booked and taken the kids to WDW/US several times. I can tell though that he's getting a little restless about continuing our yearly trip to WDW and I'm sure that he'll start vetoing future trips and want to go other places. Oh the joys of marriage. I still wouldn't trade him for anyone else in the world though (but I've already told him that I don't know where he's retiring, but I'm retiring to Florida so I can drive my golf cart to water aerobics three days a week ).

 

[LindaOwl1]

I know JUST how you feel!! After 21 years of marriage my DH just rolls his eyes at the whole WDW experience. My advise: take turns. Either do every other WDW vacation on the "relaxed" plan and every other one full out, or do one WDW vacation your way & then one vacation somewhere else his way.

 

[lovehoney]

It's all about balance and compromise. My DH is not really into WDW either, but he knows I love it. That's why we are going there to celebrate our 10th anniversary. He wants me to be happy. :

I am doing all of the planning. I've made sure to have some down time. We are staying at CBR so he can relax in hammocks, see the sand and water and have drinks at the cabana bar.

It does sound like your DH enjoyed the trip or he wouldn't have purchased the APs. You will probably just have to take it a slower pace. Just go back more often! :

Congrats on your marriage.

 

[JenniferW]

I know what you mean. I'm sorry it didn't work out the way you hoped.

What helped me is moderation and making it worthwhile, no pushing. We are the people who go to Orlando for a week/ten days and don't stay on site everytime and spend ALL our time at Disney. My hubby requires NASA, Universal, gardens, etc. I know he doesn't feel the way I do, but my enthusiam does lead him in the right direction. I try not to make him wake up super early since he would prefer sleeping in. We've been many times over the years, he gives me a trip for my bday when he can't figure out something and I always make over it like crazy!!! It sounds silly, but I make vacation worthwile always buying new clothes, looking extra good, being extra nice in other ways, etc.

Now we have a child and she loves it. My hubby loves taking pics so he is liking it more and more. I told him I could go with my parents and take our daughter since I didn't think he would want to go, but know he doesn't want to go without us. I won't say he is a believer in magic, but he is happy to go once a year without being too grumpy : )

I can also say that as a newlywed my hubby and I thought we knew each other since we had dated for 5 years but the first year of marriage held LOTS of surprises about each other, some good and some bad, it took us a while to adjust.

Jenn

 

[disneymama73]

When I met my DH, I never thought he would be crazy about WDW like me. I had already been there about 20 times, he had been to Epcot once as a kid. We honeymooned there, and that was it - he was hooked! We went on the DVC tour and 3 years later we purchased at VWL. Now 3 kids later, we go 1-3 times a year, and he is as crazy as I am! Funny thing is, we have had a rough marriage. But we are VERY compatible on vacation!

Since you got the AP's, you know you will go back. Maybe you could agree to do a day at the park (early!) and spend the next day at the pool. The name of the game is COOPERATION. I would love to get up at 7am and be at the parks at opening time, but with 3 kids, it just doesn't happen. And my kids are sleepers, so we let them sleep until they awaken on their own so we don't have 3 cranky monsters for the rest of the day. It's not the way *I* would like the trip to go, but this is what works for our family. We rarely get into a park before 11am which bugs the heck out of me. But I just think to myself, we're coming back - you're at Disney - just have fun and go with the flow!

I feel so bad that your honeymoon was not all that you expected. That is a horribly disappointing feeling. I hope your next trip is filled with all the magic you hope for!

 

[Brian Noble]

So, why is it always the husbands who get the bad rap?

DW and I are mostly compatible---we manage to be in sync most of the time. However, she is a beach person, and I am not. I burn, and if I'm going to just sit around, I'd rather sit around in A/C reading a book than in the heat with a sandy, slightly damp book. When we take our annual trip to the North Carolina beach, I sneak off some mornings to sightsee/fish/what-have-you, and may take a full day to zip up to Williamsburg if need be.

 

[DDADRLS]

I am a DH and I must admit that when my DW was planning our trip this last year (Feb. 2005) I absolutely thought that whe had went nuts. I did not get "it". This was just another vacation to a "theme park" in my non-educated. I "got it" when we stepped foot into the world and I immediately saw the magic in my DW's and DD4's eyes. The magic that is experienced at WDW is unbelievable. Believe me, coming from a DD that works his butt off it was well worth all of the money that was spent and planning that went into the trip. I cannot wait to go bact...Feb. 2006 here we come

 

[tinkerrn]

WOW!!!! Let me add that I love my husband dearly!! We just have very different ideas of what a vacation is!!! We have very different types of personalities also!! I am very OCD and have ADD, he is the mellow and easy going one. He has a very stressfull and demanding job at work also. His idea of a vacation is sleeping in late and relaxing; getting away from the hustle and bustle of work. He is a very hard worker and takes his job very seriously. An ex millitary man with the work ethic to match; actually his new nickname for me is 'drill sergeant'....which I have truly earned !! I know I have gone overboared when he stands at attention and yells out 'Yes, drill sergeant'. He is a wonderful man, and am very thankful he even wants to go to WDW at all! I appreciate everyones advise!!! Next time, I am going without expectations and try to relax. How does one relax in WDW??? Tried the 'drinks' at the pool....didn't work to well Again thanks...nice to know I am not alone!!!!

 

[tjevans]

Does a DW that doesn't get it count?

 

[babla]

My DH and I went to WDW once before we had children. I absolutely loved it, and my DH put up with it. I was disappointed that he didn't love it like I did. To him, a vacation should be a mix of relaxation and a bit of "educational" sightseeing.

After we had kids, though, we've gone back to WDW several times, and DH is getting better. He still doesn't love Disney, but he enjoys it more because the kids are having fun. He just adores spending time with the kids. We can't go "commando style," though. I have to plan time off for relaxing by the pool, and some educational day trips (Kenndey Space Center, Bible Museum, Discovery Cove etc.).

 

[scrump]

Congrats on the wedding and the APs!!!!

I've never been to WDW with DH - one of the reasons I didn't choose it as a honeymoon location was because I wasn't sure if he would "get it". I totally understand how you feel, you probably had envisioned enjoying different rides and restauratns with him, and he just wanted to watch TV. Personally, I think DH gets scared off about WDW because I usually go with a female friend and we always have such a BLAST, that DH has on occasion mentioned that he's scared I'd be disappointed if a trip with him wouldn't live up to the my expectations. In any event, sounds like you're going back soon, so maybe ease him into it? And what others have said about balance and compromise is very true, of course. Maybe take turns selecting vacation spots, it's what DH and I do.

 

[kilee]

My DH tolerates it. He likes to go, but only every couple of years. I usually planned about 2 trips a year, he goes, and he's fine. I plan and he follows along.
Last year after our MNSSHP he asked if we could have a Disney free year for 2005 . I agreed. By spring though I had the itch- do you know I booked 2 trips (1 in April and 1 in August) and they both fell apart in the 11th hour. I think the karma gods were looking down on him because I had promised no 2005 Disney trips.
Good news is we are going in January (I had to just get past 2005) and he's actually excited about it too. So, maybe the break was a good thing.

 

[phisigprincess]

I was really worried about that. FI and i went down in 2003 and he had never been there before. He had kind of a "we'll see about this place" attitude. Thankfully he loved it (not as much as me... but most non-DIS people usually don't) and we're going back next year. He even ok'd the Mickey Mouse plate set we're getting for Christmas! I had an ex-BF who HATED, actually hated, everything about Disney. My mom says that's how she knew that relationship wouldn't last!!!

 

[Ride Junkie]

My DH is very low-key and doesn't get enthused about too many things. But the funny thing is, he always wants to go to Disneyland! (We live in CA.) He doesn't show it as much, but he's as big a Disney freak as me. Right when the park opens, he grabs my hand & drags me from ride to ride! It's so funny. But over the years, we've learned to slow down & enjoy other things, like the shows and parades.

Next time you & DH go to WDW, maybe start at Epcot, where you can get a nice meal & alcoholic beverage and get the good times rolling!

 

[WDWLVR]

Sorry it didn't work out as you planned. My DH looked at me a little funny when I suggested 15 years ago that we honeymoon at Disney. However he fell in love with Disney on that trip and we've been going back ever since!

Hopefully on your next trip more of the pixie dust and magic will get to him.

 

[mushumadness]

Hiya

My dbf doesnt get it really either

He goes along with it, all the adrs and everything, as long as we go to universal and busch gardens hes fine with it. He does get the wole disney magic that I experiance but says he enjoys watching my face when we get there and the way I am like a little kid

he even says we can honeymoon there