Anyone else cutting back this Christmas?

[taymaesmom]

We are cutting back too but my girls are adults and we have 2 grandbabies now too but even them I'm not going to spoil as they are too young to even care yet!

When the grandbabies are bigger I plan on gifting more experiences than toys. I would prefer to buy them a family membership to the zoo or aquarium then buy toys that get forgotten, and then they have a year of fun as a family!

 

[isabellea]

My girls always get a total of 3 gifts from us. One from mom and dad, one from their sister (we pay) and the biggest one is from Santa. My parents contribute to their college fund so that's their main gift from them and I stopped a long time ago trying to stop my in-laws from buying too many gifts. We also give gifts to our parents and I only have one nephew so he gets something too but that's about it.

We also do stockings but we no longer get them Christmas morning. Instead we are now waiting on New Year.

 

[AlohaNow]

In a word, no. We've got DS's birthday, December graduation, then Christmas. It will be gift-a-palooza at our house!

 

[Pooh2]

I am well under way for grandkids (4 grandkids, age 3 and under).
I was thinking of going practical with snowsuits, boots and clothing.
But after I ordered a ton of clothing items, I ordered a ton of toys..
My UPS guy thought I may have gone overboard so a bit worried about what the daughter in laws may think...

 

[Bjkandma]

I have good intentions on cutting back. We will see!! Only buying for two granddaughters. One 14 and one 5. Five year old told me she would like 7 presents to open. Not sure what it will be, but I will have seven presents for her under my tree!!!

 

[luv2sewtjr]

Yes and no. There will likely be no Christmas gathering so I won’t buy a yankee swap gift. My siblings and I haven’t bought for each other in years. My kids are going to get a little more since I got a better job this year. The problem is that I have zero desire to shop and spend time in stores and the few times I have been in stores, it seems like inventory is low.

 

[pigletto]

We have quite a few people to buy for . We paired it down this year just because we are being more intentional with our spending and trying to budget better. However for the first time ever we’ve given a healthy budget to ourselves (DH and I) which I’m actually pleased about. We used to pretty much skip ourselves to spend more on the kids and extended family.
So we’ve paired down in some ways and added in others.

 

[MomToOne]

i want to ask when do you stop giving gifts to nieces and nephews? mine are 15,18,two at 21 and two at 27. i know its not alot of kids but does it or should it stop at some point??

My SILs family has a rule that at something like 25 kids stop getting gifts. But they have a huge extended family that gets together a lot - all aunts, uncles, cousins and now lots of first cousins once removed (aka cousin's kids). So there can be a lot of kids to buy for.

In our family, it's just my siblings and our kids who get together - and we are scattered, so even that only happens once or twice a year. Aunts and Uncles are all dead, and our cousins all far away - we email and see them every few years, but there's no gift swapping. And even though I have 4 siblings, we ended up with only 3 kids total (23, and 2-20 year olds) and 1 of those is mine. At this point, I have no plan to stop giving to my 2 nephews. But that may change once they start having kids - at that point, I might give just to their kids, esp once their careers take off and they are to the stage of just buying themselves what they want when they want it. Or not. I will figure it out when we get there One thing we did do is allow them to join the adult gag gift exchange we do every year at age 18 if they wanted - but they still get their regular gifts from all of us too. I think by having them in this exchange, it won't be as big a deal when they do get cut off. Honestly, we just all give the kids cash at this point so the gag gift exchange is the real focus of our get together. The kids all want and appreciate the cash, but it doesn't make for an exciting gift opening experience LOL

So in my opinion, it just all depends, part of it depending on how close you are to the kids, and how many you are buying for. I see no problem stopping at a certain age, but I think its easier if there is a stated rule among everyone like SILs family has if it is at an age like early-20s. If there isn't anything like that, then I'd at least take the ones who are about to be cutoff aside (or send a quick note) to explain you think they are self sufficient and mature enough to not need gifts anymore so they understand what's going on and not feel left out. I think most would take it just fine, as long as they know what exactly is happening.

 

[DisneyHardin]

I'm not planning to cut back on the gifts for family, but will most I am planning to suggest to DH that he and I not exchange gifts this year. We already stopped exchanging gifts with DH's family last year.

I'm a teacher, and if we don't go back to in-person school before Christmas, I won't buy gifts for my team mates and the office staff.

 

[2China2009]

I have a Christmas club account. There should be around $1000 in there mid Nov when it is time to transfer it. Always pay cash. I buy for my 2 kids and 6 nieces and nephews no more than $20/piece. I do spend more on my kids. Then it is just my parents. It will be all done online this year.

 

[crazylady]

I doubt it but we are already pretty streamlined. Our kids do a gift exchange with their cousins. We used to have an adult sibling and spouses gift exchange but a few years ago we exchanged that for a nice, kid-free dinner out together. We only buy for our kids, parents, each other and the two niece/nephew gifts.

 

[MrsPete]

When our children were small, we always did Christmas in a BIG WAY. Thing is, we decided before they were born we would give them MUCH less than we were able. We were pretty hard-nosed all year about buying things: we didn't pick up junky-junk every time we went to the store, we didn't over-buy clothes, and if the kids asked for something, we usually found a way for them to earn it. So once a year -- at Christmas -- we broke routine and gave loads of presents.

Now that they're adults, they've adopted more of a "minimalist lifestyle". They don't have shelves of paper books and DVDs -- oh, they have those things, but they're digital. They do enjoy board games. They enjoy nice clothes, but they aren't clothes horses. I do give them things for the kitchen or the house, and I very much like the idea of giving experiences. And they always get a stocking at my house -- I really shine in the stocking department.

As we approach retirement, my husband and are talking about "downsizing" our to-each-other Christmas. We no longer need a lot of new clothes, and we don't need junky-junk around the house, but we haven't hit upon the right idea for ourselves. We've talked about one big shared gift (maybe something upgraded in the house, maybe something new to share) + stockings from each other. We've also talked about the possibility of each of us planning a small trip (for any time during the new year) and "unveiling it" to the other on Christmas Day.

This year's easy: we're outfitting our house for our upcoming grandchild; that is, we're gifting each other a Pack-and-Play, a stroller, a high chair, and a stocked diaper drawer in the hall bathroom. We both want our house to be "an easy stop" for the new baby and his or her parents.

For subsequent grandchildren-Christmases, I'm considering that we might give Christmas presents that'll stay at our own house. That is, I'm considering every year adding 1-2 toys (and some books, always books) that'll stay at our house. I suspect my daughter would appreciate NOT filling up their house with more-more-more, and I anticipate the little one will be at our house on a regular basis.

I also really like the idea of giving a "membership" to a child as a gift. When our kids were younger, we used to alternate years between a zoo membership and a science museum membership. Both offered "reciprocal visits" to other locations, and we really got the money's worth out of them.

Another thing I'll do for our grandchildren -- though, for no particular reason, I see this as a birthday thing -- is magazines. I used to LOVE-LOVE-LOVE getting magazines in the mail as a child.

As for our extended family, we have streamlined things in the past years, and everyone's happy about it: I have lots of siblings, but we do a bring-a-gift /get-a-gift exchange, and everyone finds it easier than trying to buy for everyone. Some people buy for the kids, others don't. Our parents are all retired (and my parents particularly live in a small place), so we have fallen into the habit of giving them one small item (like a pair of nice socks or a Yeti cup) and several restaurant gift cards.

I'm a teacher, and when our new school opened (can it really have been 20 years?) we original teachers agreed: no gifts between teacher-friends, but the week before Christmas we bring food and share lunch all week.

 

[SnowBelleAlice]

My eldest is 20, after this Christmas he'll be lumped in with the adults for our gift exchange. I hope to take it easy this holiday season, should be simple, older daughter is 17, she wants expensive shoes for Christmas, baby sister is 3 months old, she won't want or need much. I'll need to keep myself in check for future Christmases for little Miss.

 

[SandyinMonterey]

Yes. My daughter's Christmas list is usually long (not crazy long) but this year she has probably less than a third on her list. We stopped exchanging gifts with co-workers and friends years ago, that just got out of control. I still exchange with my sister, mother and MIL...that's it. My husband and I will maybe exchange a small gift or two to have something under the tree because we would prefer to buy new living room sofa and chairs and update powder room instead. I also don't have much interest in holiday shopping this year. The few times I have been in the mall, so many stores have closed and those that are still open have very little inventory to choose from.

 

[leebee]

i want to ask when do you stop giving gifts to nieces and nephews? mine are 15,18,two at 21 and two at 27. i know its not alot of kids but does it or should it stop at some point??

My father had a very big family. They all agreed... "kids" get presents up until they are 18, after that they are adults. The extension of this was that kids didn't get invited to celebrations for weddings or anniversary parties or anything like until AFTER they were 18. I went to a lot of family weddings, but just to the church, because kids weren't invited to the receptions.

 

[ruadisneyfan2]

So this year my family is dialing Christmas back a bit. It just has gotten really out of control. It was 3 gifts to each of my kids from my ex and I when we were married, plus one from Santa.

Then when we divorced their dad started doing 3 gifts too, and then my parents liked the idea of three gifts (They are divorced-so 6 more gifts per child) plus ex's family and family friends and then my children bought each other 3 gifts too... I swear I had good intentions when we started. It clearly spiraled.

So as you can imagine this was a mountain of presents. Now I have very non greedy children who never get things just because but it is so overkill. So this year its 2 gifts from each person and one gift to each other. I was able to get my ex, both of my parents, and the kids on board so progress. Also with the two gifts one must be under $40. Still that is 10 gifts (counting Santa) for each of them before extended family comes into play... Sigh.

I am hoping next year I can talk my ex into 1 gift each per kid but even then I doubt either his parents or mine will love that idea. I swear I am trying to get this back into semi normal.

Talking to several friends we aren't the only ones parring down this year. Is anyone else cutting back this year?

We haven't started shopping for this Christmas yet but after reading your post how both sets of grandparents would not like the idea of throttling back on gifts I had to reply.
Since our children were babies, my parents would give them generally 1 decent sized gift but the majority of their real gift was $ invested in a custodial account. Every Christmas and birthday they put around $200 in the account. They did this for all 4 grandchildren and now with 2 great grandchildren, my brother's grandchildren. By NJ law, (varies in each state) a custodial account must be turned over to the "child" by age 21. The custodian, in our case my father, does not have to claim interest earnings as income. Most kids don't have enough income to need to file a return so it was a non-issue for us.
Our kids never knew this was happening. They would still get a nice gift from my parents, let's say something like a digital camera or electric car, depending on their age.

By the time my first born was ready for college, my dad told him he'd divide the balance in fourths and each year he'd contribute 1/4 of the account toward college rather than empty it the first semester. At the time it was around $16,000 so he gave him $4000 for his freshman year. Good thing because he only spent 1 semester at college.
By the time he turned 21, it grew back the $4000 that was pulled out and then some. It was almost $18,000. I was so afraid he'd blow it on stupid things and we had a good conversation about what a generous gift this is, etc. He paid off the $3000 in student loans he had, kept about $500 in his regular savings account, and invested the rest in 2 Vanguard accounts: an regular investment account and a Roth IRA. He is 23 now and is quite a saver and the mutual funds we chose together (which dh and I opened same one for ourselves at the same time) have done very well since we opened them. His savings are well over $30,000 and he loves the power of compounding interest and watching it grow.

I convinced him to please don't tell his younger brother who will turn 21 next spring. I really didn't want the idea of a big chunk of money coming his way to sway the good decisions he has made. He has worked hard to pay off his 5 yr car loan in just 1.5 years and he may not have been so motivated to do so if he knew. Because his account has had more good years in the market compared to his brother, his is over $21,000 now. My dad is so excited to give it to him and every time he sees me, he has to tell me the latest balance.

Anyway, sorry this is so long but depending on the age of your children this might be something to suggest to the grandparents. I see my coworkers spending hundreds on their grandbabies on BS stuff that will end up at the bottom of the toybox one day. Even when we try hard to not spoil our kids, they still have a lot so why intentionally shower them with so much? Didn't we all watch the original Willie Wonka and see how ugly spoiled kids are? "Daddy, Daddy, I want an oompa loompa and I want it NOW!"

Someday if/when I have grandchildren, I plan to do the same thing.

 

[JenBush]

My family isn’t cutting back, but we aren’t too crazy to begin with. Starting about 15 years ago, my dad’s side of the family all draw names on Thanksgiving so we each only buy gifts for one person with a $50-$75 limit. Then I buy a few extra smaller gifts for my siblings and parents as well as my grandparents on my mom’s side.

 

[QueenIsabella]

We haven't started shopping for this Christmas yet but after reading your post how both sets of grandparents would not like the idea of throttling back on gifts I had to reply.
Since our children were babies, my parents would give them generally 1 decent sized gift but the majority of their real gift was $ invested in a custodial account. Every Christmas and birthday they put around $200 in the account. They did this for all 4 grandchildren and now with 2 great grandchildren, my brother's grandchildren. By NJ law, (varies in each state) a custodial account must be turned over to the "child" by age 21. The custodian, in our case my father, does not have to claim interest earnings as income. Most kids don't have enough income to need to file a return so it was a non-issue for us.
Our kids never knew this was happening. They would still get a nice gift from my parents, let's say something like a digital camera or electric car, depending on their age.

By the time my first born was ready for college, my dad told him he'd divide the balance in fourths and each year he'd contribute 1/4 of the account toward college rather than empty it the first semester. At the time it was around $16,000 so he gave him $4000 for his freshman year. Good thing because he only spent 1 semester at college.
By the time he turned 21, it grew back the $4000 that was pulled out and then some. It was almost $18,000. I was so afraid he'd blow it on stupid things and we had a good conversation about what a generous gift this is, etc. He paid off the $3000 in student loans he had, kept about $500 in his regular savings account, and invested the rest in 2 Vanguard accounts: an regular investment account and a Roth IRA. He is 23 now and is quite a saver and the mutual funds we chose together (which dh and I opened same one for ourselves at the same time) have done very well since we opened them. His savings are well over $30,000 and he loves the power of compounding interest and watching it grow.

I convinced him to please don't tell his younger brother who will turn 21 next spring. I really didn't want the idea of a big chunk of money coming his way to sway the good decisions he has made. He has worked hard to pay off his 5 yr car loan in just 1.5 years and he may not have been so motivated to do so if he knew. Because his account has had more good years in the market compared to his brother, his is over $21,000 now. My dad is so excited to give it to him and every time he sees me, he has to tell me the latest balance.

Anyway, sorry this is so long but depending on the age of your children this might be something to suggest to the grandparents. I see my coworkers spending hundreds on their grandbabies on BS stuff that will end up at the bottom of the toybox one day. Even when we try hard to not spoil our kids, they still have a lot so why intentionally shower them with so much? Didn't we all watch the original Willie Wonka and see how ugly spoiled kids are? "Daddy, Daddy, I want an oompa loompa and I want it NOW!"

Someday if/when I have grandchildren, I plan to do the same thing.

We have a similar circumstance, but we handle it differently. My kids (youngest is 14) know that they have trusts coming from their grandmother. We talk about how it's their last gift from her, how it's a legacy, and how she would expect them to spend it wisely. We also talk about the value of compounding, using Mom's patented "set it and forget it" strategy--how they can make money sitting on their butt, just by leaving it alone. Grandma put a high value on education and travel, so those would be good things to use the money for (and in fact, my oldest, who is 25, has done this). DS14 is the only one who's actually interested in investing--he tracks individual stocks daily. They're all getting a small inheritance next year (4 figures), and I think we'll buy specific stock for him because he follows it. For the others, we'll just put it into their existing accounts. We haven't had any Veruca Salt moments.

When she was alive, my MIL liked to give money for birthdays and Christmas--way too much, IMHO, for young children (my then-4yo didn't NEED $500!). What we would do is put it in their savings accounts. They were allowed to spend whatever gift cards they had, but the Grandma money got saved. Then, when we were traveling on vacation, I would take out $50 per kid ($100 for Disney), and their vacation spending money would be their gift from Grandma. Grandma was happy, the kids were happy, and they were able to enjoy their gifts outside of Christmas, when they were already getting so much.

 

[Kauai4life]

We are definitely doing Christmas different this year, For the last eleven years we stopped doing Christmas presents and did a Disney trip instead. We have made so many lasting memories. This year we will be staying home and be giving to the local food bank and other charities so many people hurting. No one in our family needs more stuff.

 

[usnuzuloose]

No christmas here