Anybody else have a sibling who "ruined everything?"

[missypie]

After reading the sentimental threads about happy childhood memories, I realize that I don't have a lot of happy childhood memories, even though my parents never fought, we weren't poverty stricken, we always took vacations and got a lot of Christmas presents, etc. ...I remember all of those things, but none of them seem like really HAPPY memories.

When I think about it, it may have been the high level of tension in my house. I had one sibling, a sister 3 years older, who was always rebelious, got bad grades, fought with my mom, experimented with drugs, complained about, or made fun of, everything. I think I may be remembering correctly that all those times that were supposed to be happy really weren't, because my sister was always on hand to create stress. (Of course, I could be blaming her unnecessarily, too.)

Anybody else have a sibling or other family member that just seemed to ruin their family life?

 

[Disney Doll]

I don't, but my DH ha a sister who is just a nut. If you listen to him and his other 2 sisters talk about this 3rd one, she sounds as if she was a real doozy!!! I don't think they think they had an unhappy childhood, but this one sibling definitiely made an impact.

She is a twin with my nice DSIL, and DMIL forced them to do everything together. Sionce the other SIL wasn't so well-liked, due to her behaviors, my nice DSIL didn't get invited to a lot of places, and when she did, she always had the pain SIL dragging along.

Even now, she is manipulative, self-centered, self-absorbed, & attention-seeking. When there is something going on in the family where she is not the focus, she does something that makes her get attention. When DH and I were getting married, she had elective knee surgery one monthbefore our wqedding, so she was walking down the aisle as a bridesmaid on crutches. When my DFIL was goig in for heart surgery, she called my DMIL the night before to tell her that she was having headaches and the doctor was going to do a CT Scan on the same day as DFIL's surgery to find out if she had a brain tumor. We are planning a surprise anniversary party for DSIL(her twin) and hubby, and this other one suddenly needs shoulder surgery 3 weeks before the party(on a shoulder injury that she's apparently had since January!), so that she'll be here for the party with her arm in a sling.

I could go on and on...suicide threats, saying she was abused as a child(not true!) etc. She's just a classic nut.

 

[Pin Wizard]

My oldest sister was the rebellious type...what do you expect from a Leo? Throw in being the oldest. But we got along okay.

Actually, it was my parents that seemed to "ruin" everything in my book. They didn't look at us as individual kids. Not me any way. Any time my sisters messed up on something, I automatically wasn't allowed to do it. Thanks, sises!! Then there was the age thing. My sisters were a certain age before they were allowed to get their ears pierced. I had to be that age. They were 15 when they were allowed to start dating, I had to be 15. That one REALLY hurt! I really think that one changed a lot in my life.

 

[DisneyAddict_M]

Originally posted by missypie
Anybody else have a sibling or other family member that just seemed to ruin their family life?

I WAS that sibling!

 

[missypie]

I guess it all gives me pause as a parent. My parents sacrificed a lot to take us on vacation every year. Yet, I don't remember the vacations as being fun. In hindsight, they would have been a lot better off saving the vacation money for a down payment on a house (they rented until I was 20 years old). As a mature adult, I can appreciate their gestures, but vacations, presents, even a very stable family life, weren't enough to generate fond memories. How scary is that, especially for folks who scrimp and save all year so they can take their kids to WDW?

 

[snoopy]

Hey Pin Wizard, I resent that Leo comment!

(btw, I saw someone walking around the World last week who I thought MIGHT be you -- she looked A LOT like your pic.....but she had a little girl and no boys and since I didn't think you were due to be at the World I figured it wasn't you. It wasn't, was it? )

I have 8 siblings, we all had our days of ruining stuff, but no one really stood out as the black sheep. DH's family is another story. For them, it was the one sister who was always in some sort of trouble. Sadly, the parents refused to recognize the problem early on (they were too embarrassed that someone at their church or in their social circle would find out that the girl had serious problems). She went on to a life of crime and drugs and jail, and died at 38 in the back of a van of a heroin overdose. She left behind 3 young boys. She still is not discussed among my inlaws, only DH and I talk about her. Of course, the vicious cycle has continued, now its DH's niece who is the one who isn't talked about. She gets beat up by her boyfriend pretty regularly, yet no one wants to confront this guy, or her. The latest news is she is pregnant with this guy's baby. I mentioned to her mother, DH's sister, that perhaps she should consider counseling since she is bringing another life into this world and its not just her that will be beat up, and the mother got mad at me for bringing it up. This is a dysfunctional family, sadly. Luckily, DH pretty much walked away from all that when he married me.

 

[Pin Wizard]

Originally posted by snoopy
Hey Pin Wizard, I resent that Leo comment!

(btw, I saw someone walking around the World last week who I thought MIGHT be you -- she looked A LOT like your pic.....but she had a little girl and no boys and since I didn't think you were due to be at the World I figured it wasn't you. It wasn't, was it? )

LOL! Well, that explains a LOT! I always see you as the feisty type that I don't see eye to eye with. Now I know...it's because you're a Leo! LOLOL! Just kidding. My sister always had good fights with us.

Someone else that looks like me? No, it wasn't me!! Don't know when I'll go back to WDW. Probably when I use that Universal vacation I won!! It has to be in the next year I think.

 

[onecoolmama]

I ended up in the hospital more than a few times from mine.

 

[clutter]

Well, my family life was part Missypies's and part pin wizards!

Unlike Missypies sister, though, my life was run by my totally, completly well-behaved oldest sistser. I mean, she made Goodie Two Shoes look like a trouble maker. She definately kept us in line more than my parents ever did. Anyway, our high level of tension was over being well-bahaved.

Like Pin Wizard, I was the third girl, and was never allowed to be myself. If my sister's liked or disliked something, I was supposed to go along to make my mother's life easier. Funny, I was thinking about this this morning. I'd dropped my dd off at her ballet camp, and to this day, I still wish I could have had ballet lessons, but because my sisters did and didn't like them, I wasn't allowed to.

 

[missypie]

Clutter, my teeth are crooked because my sister's experience with braces was a fiasco and my parents just couldn't "go through it again."

Sure makes me worry what I'M doing wrong that my kids will never forget!

 

[KatelynnsAuntie]

My brother. OMG the stories I could tell.

He has lived a life of drugs and crime since he was 12 and is now 34. Been in and out of jail and federal prison and is a convicted felon.

He has made my parents' lives (and my life) a living hell for the past 22 years.

He has an 8 year old daughter (Katelynn) who he has seen once in the past three years. Hasn't contributed a dime toward her upbringing in probably 6 years.

That is just the condensed version. To talk about it anymore would get me too upset.

 

[Pin Wizard]

Originally posted by clutter
Well, my family life was part Missypies's and part pin wizards!

Like Pin Wizard, I was the third girl, and was never allowed to be myself.

That's a GREAT way to put it! You made me think...I guess we had one thing each for the most part that was just ours. My oldest sister was into Modern Dance and did that in high school. I was into the gymnastics and cheerleading thing, but my middle sister did......nothing! Hmmm...can't remember her being involved in anything at all. Not sports, not yearbook, nothing. Hmmm.

 

[DisneyAddict_M]

That's interesting about the 3rd girl stuff. I was the 3rd girl in my family and because of that I went out of my way to be myself. My sisters were never involved in any activities. I was. But I was a middle child (I have a younger brother) and often felt invisible. I still do at times.

 

[Pin Wizard]

Originally posted by missypie
Clutter, my teeth are crooked because my sister's experience with braces was a fiasco and my parents just couldn't "go through it again."

My oldest sister had braces. The rest of us didn't. My middle sister went to a parochial high school...cost extra money. The oldest and I didn't. I didn't get anything special! LOL! LOL!

 

[Pin Wizard]

Originally posted by KatelynnsAuntie
My brother. OMG the stories I could tell.

He has an 8 year old daughter (Katelynn) who he has seen once in the past three years. Hasn't contributed a dime toward her upbringing in probably 6 years.

That is just the condensed version. To talk about it anymore would get me too upset.

Hugs for you!!! And for Katelynn!!!