any special things to seek out/ask for b-days & anniversaries?

What are you looking to get because of a celebration? WDW has birthday buttons at all the parks. They will get you a little attention and fussing.

If you really want something for a special occasion arrange and pay for it. Don't depend on Disney doing something for free. Yes it does happen but loads of folks celebrate all sorts of special occasions and they can't do it for everyone.
 
Sometimes if you tell the restaurant and server, they will bring out a cupcake with a candle and sing to you. If you plan far enough ahead, you can order a special cake for an extra fee.

Whether it is worth it is up to you. If you like getting the special attention and possible surprises, then go for it.
 












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