Any other DISers trying to concieve? Reread OP for the QOTD!

[ImarriedGrumpy]

I've taken two HPT's and got two BFN's. And I think I'm starting to get pms crampy too. I'm more upset about it this month than I was last month. A lot more, actually. So many bad things have happened recently with my uncle dying and finding out that my aunt's cancer is in stage 4 and has spread throughout her body, I just desperately wanted something good to happen.

I hear ya - I know this doesn't compare to losing a relative or dealing with cancer, but our 3 month old kitten died during his routine vet appointment on Wednesday, and now I'm feeling like it just HAS to be a BFP this month or I'm going to melt down. I can't handle grieving one more thing right now. Give me something to celebrate!!!!

I'm only on CD9, and I don't usually O until CD20-29 (crazy irregular cycle - GRRR!), but boy, DH better be ready this month!

 

[ashjohnson80]

Oh, and I forgot to mention, (sorry I have to vent to someone), that since the holidays are coming my MIL is of course, acting crazy again.

Here's a little background. Last year she wanted to celebrate Christmas on the 23rd, at night, that is when I always celebrate with my family and I had already made plans to bring food or whatever. DH calls his sister and brother and asked them if they could do it on another night and they said sure, whenever. When MIL finds out, she cancels Christmas all together. Then we get this phone call on the morning of Christmas Eve of her telling my DH what a dispicable person I am, and how she's going to call my mom and tell her what kind of person I really am, and just all of these nasty things. We didn't speak for 5 months.

So I was the one who apologized and have been kissing butt ever since. So now she's like Christmas is going to be on the 23rd at 5 pm (the same time as my family's thing AGAIN). I told her about my aunt and how bad the cancer is, and how she'll be traveling from another state to come to it. She says, "Well you'll probably get to see her on Thanksgiving". Real considerate. So either I get cursed out on Christmas morning again or I have to miss spending what could be the last Christmas with someone I love.

I must be PMS'ing b/c I cannot stop crying right now.

 

[FlyingBelle]

Ashjohnson80 - I am SO SORRY for what you're going through. I hope that your DH is your rock right now - if not, find a time to calmly explain how much you need him. The holidays can be so incredibly stressful - we've started to just ease out of some family activities throughout the year to keep the stress levels down. Of course the family isn't happy about it, but DH "gets it".


I'm going in for my IUI in 12 hours... I would be more excited, but they're dropping bombs on us this week at work. They did another reorg on Friday afternoon (fortunately I survived yet another round of lay-offs - I NEED this insurance to cover my infertility treatments!). But my boss is leaving on a 10 day vacation tomorrow and her boss just dropped a HUGE project on us that needs to be completed by Friday. I was hoping to coast through this week and keep everything under control. I want those little follies to have fun & STICK!!!

 

[skuttle]

Oh Ash, I'm so sorry. I broke down last night after AF arrived. I was actually reading this thread...one minute I was happy for everyone who recently received a BFP, and then the next minute I was crying my eyes out! I don't have all of the other things you do on top of the BFN, so I can't imagine how emotional you must be.

Imarriedgrumpy...Good luck this month!

Flyingbelle...good luck with your tests. And also at work! We seem to super busy, too. It must be everyone trying to get things done before the holidays arrive. We usually slow down a good bit around the holidays, so I'm looking forward to that!

Well, CD2 for me. I actually remembered to do my temp this morning. Once AF is over, I plan on sticking to the BD every other day schedule for sure! I think I O'd late last month since AF didn't arrive until CD31. If so, then we missed it. I'm feeling better today about the BFN. Ready to get AF over with so we can start trying again!!

I'm dreading Saturday. We're doing Thanksgiving on Saturday with my family. Right now, two of my cousins are pregnant. One due in January with twins and the other due in late January with her third. I know it's going to make me so sad seeing them. If one person asks me "When are y'all having another", I think I'll either breakdown in tears, or be really *****y towards them!

 

[FlyingBelle]

I'm dreading Saturday. We're doing Thanksgiving on Saturday with my family. Right now, two of my cousins are pregnant. One due in January with twins and the other due in late January with her third. I know it's going to make me so sad seeing them. If one person asks me "When are y'all having another", I think I'll either breakdown in tears, or be really *****y towards them!

OH boy... yep - it's that just the MOST fun - seeing everyone ooh and aaah over a pregnany woman when there's nothing you'd want more?

We were at a party over Labor Day - just a week or 2 after my m/c - when one of DH's cousins just couldn't stop asking how soon we'll start trying to have a baby - and how it's the greatest thing in the world, and don't we just wqnt to have one now and what's wrong with us for not having a baby already, blah, blah, blah. I just kept drinking my wine and trying to ignore him (yep - it was a male cousin that kept digging it in)

 

[DisneyDreamer8]

Ash-I'm so sorry you are having such a rough time right now. Hang in there hun...things will get better. The holidays will be over before you know it and things will calm down. Come here and vent all you want. I think we each have done that at some point

 

[kellyf2626]

Skuttle....sorry about AF showing up.

So, tomorrow I am going to see my OB. I made the appointment to go in and just chat about my cycles, etc... I am hoping she will at least do some preliminary bloodwork. We shall see....

I am now counting down until O. I think I O late - considering my cycles are 32-33 days. So, I will start testing with OPK's around CD 10, but am not expecting until around CD 18ish.

Have a good night everyone....keep smiling....

 

[SDFgirl]

Skuttle....sorry about AF showing up.

So, tomorrow I am going to see my OB. I made the appointment to go in and just chat about my cycles, etc... I am hoping she will at least do some preliminary bloodwork. We shall see....

I am now counting down until O. I think I O late - considering my cycles are 32-33 days. So, I will start testing with OPK's around CD 10, but am not expecting until around CD 18ish.

Have a good night everyone....keep smiling....

Good luck at the OB today!

I have a question for all you experts out there.

AF was supposed to arrive yesterday, and I am pretty regular. My cycles have always run between 25 and 27 days and yesterday was cd 27.

I took a hpt yesterday night, 13 dpo, and it was negative. Is there a glimmer of hope for me? Or would a positive pregnancy test should have shown up by 13 dpo?

I know I'm obsessing, and AF is probably on her way this very minute...

 

[skuttle]

Good Luck SDFGirl! My past two cycles have started a day later than normal...just enough to get my hopes up. HOpefully you have a different outcome!

So I woke up again this morning and did my temp. I have the little pink on from Walmart. I thought it saved the temp. I took it this morning and went back to sleep. When I turned it back on, I had no temp. I thought if I turned it on and held the button down, it recalled the last temp. That's what I did yesterday and it worked. I"m so bummed! Maybe I'll start writing it down.

These past two months with no BFP have been really hard on me. I stopped BCP in June, but honestly haven't *really* started trying unitl the past two months, so no reason, I guess, for me to be so sad each month. The sadness usually lasts a day or two and then I'm ready to get back to work. I tried to talk to DH last night about it all, and he seems to think that because I was so sad, that I'm not happy with just having him and DS. That's not it at all. He says he's not sad because he's thankful for our family and knows it'll happen when it happens and there's no reason to be sad. I tried my best to explain, but I still don't think he gets it. I guess I had this "ideal" time in my head to have another child, and each month I get further and further from that. I was hoping for a summer baby since DH is a teacher, and now that's gone. I didn't really want kids more than 3-4 years apart, and now I'm creeping up on that (DS just turned 3). I think that's why it makes me so sad. I'm an only child and I don't want that for DS. I don't know...I'm rambling. See...told ya I didn't do a good job trying to explain it to DH last night! Of course, he's always optimistic and I"m not, so that doesn't help things!

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Thanks again girls - I'm getting pretty excited!! I woke up this am & took another test - that makes 3 positives for the last 3 mornings....I think hubby finally believes it's positive now!! LOL I think he was unsure the last 2 days because the lines weren't very dark - today's was the darkest by far.

I went out this evening & got a baby name book to start browsing thru & a pregnancy book to read up on. I'm looking forward to telling my parents on Turkey Day next week. It'll be nice to not have to hide it around them after that. Still trying to think of a fun way to tell them...

Skuttle - so sorry to hear that AF showed!!! Good luck next month BD'g!! Looks like we'll be at WDW shortly after you in January. I was on the fence about our trip being preggo, but I think it'll be great to get one last trip with just the 2 of us - we'll just have to relax more & go commando less.

It looks like quite a few gals from this board will be at WDW in January - we'll be there 1/17 - 1/27 - anyone else??

Congrulations.

We should be at Disney sometime in January, but we have not booked yet.

And on those pregnancy tests--the coolest one I used had lights but I forget who makes it. When it is + a blue light turns on to illuminate the positive. I joked about getting my "blue light special". Hubby cringed at how much I spent on Pregnancy tests. I spent lots o' money.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

How are my other four & five monthers (Minnesota!, DMickey to name a few)? Have you felt any flutters? How is Carla doing - has she posted lately? And Becky?

Good luck to you all, pregnancy is the freakiest (and most amazing) thing I've been through (and I'm not even halfway done!)

I'm wondering as well.

I do think becky had to cancel her internet service though. I remember her mentioning they had to tighten things up due to her hypermesis and not being able to work.

Wondering how Carla is doing, anybody?

 

[mickeyboat]

OH boy... yep - it's that just the MOST fun - seeing everyone ooh and aaah over a pregnany woman when there's nothing you'd want more?

People really don't understand how tough it is to see other pregnant people when you are having touble getting PG, or have just suffered a loss. It's not like you wear a t-shirt, so no one is being insensitive on purpose, but it hurts so much.

I had an ectopic PG in August, 2006. I didn't tell many people. In September we went to my nephew's Firs Communion Party, and I saw my other SIL there. She handed me two pregnancy tests and said, "here, you can have these, I won't be needing them anymore."

I almost passed out, and it took all I had to tell her congratulations, and high tail it out of there. I would have been due two weeks after she was.

Sometimes when I see her little boy, who is 9 now, I think about how I should have a child that age, too.

Denae

 

[exwdwcm]

Good luck at the OB today!

I have a question for all you experts out there.

AF was supposed to arrive yesterday, and I am pretty regular. My cycles have always run between 25 and 27 days and yesterday was cd 27.

I took a hpt yesterday night, 13 dpo, and it was negative. Is there a glimmer of hope for me? Or would a positive pregnancy test should have shown up by 13 dpo?

I know I'm obsessing, and AF is probably on her way this very minute...

my RE doesn't like me testing until 14DPO. so it could still be too early. i've heard of others testing on 14DPO and getting a negative, but then testing again like on 17DPO and finally getting a positive. so you never know. until AF comes, don't count it out. good luck!

Ash- sorry about the family drama, what a pain. last thing you need to deal with, huh?

oh and the ever present pregnant women......and the constant questions....people just don't think. i don't think they mean to be rude or insensitive....they don't realize fertility isn't a given. they have no clue the physical, financial and emotional drain it is going through treatment or TTC. Things fly out of their mouth and they don't realize how it impacts you. i found a site that had some great combacks to help you out.......
http://prayingforbaby.blogspot.com/2005_12_01_prayingforbaby_archive.html

"just relax and it will happen"......well if i were any more relaxed, i'd be dead.
.....did 'relaxing' get you anywhere in life or was it taking action that made the difference?
.....this isn't a vacation!
.....all the fertility drugs i am on won't let me relax

"when are you starting a family?"......we already are a family.
.......well when the fertility treatment actually starts working.

some of these usually will shut them up quickly.


Michelle
CD 23, 11 DPO, test on Friday 11/17
Third IUI w/ follistim in nov
lap in oct
IUI/clomid in aug/spet
4 mos clomid march-june

 

[helenabear]

Hi y'all, been a bit busy lately so I know I am behind here.

Ash, sorry about the family situation. We have a not so good relationship with my in-laws. It's to the point where they are hurting my DH's feelings a lot. They not only dislike me, but they don't bother to even talk to my DH. Didn't even call him when his grandma died. We're spending TG with them, and I am not looking forward to it.

Skuttle, so sorry about AF... temping is good idea to find out when you think you ovulate, so I hope that works!!!

I hadn't heard of the one that lights up! I think we used EPT or Clear Blue Easy, I can never remember, but it does say "Pregnant" and I love that! Makes it much easier to read than the stupid lines.

I haven't heard from Carla since that stupid IVF thread... I don't even know if she has been online or not... but I did try to send her an e-mail through the system a few days ago.

Hopefully Becky can check in soon!

SDF, I would wait a few more days just in case. I had a friend who had breakthrough bleeding and tested negative... went drinking... bleeding stopped the next day and the third day or so after the bleeding had started she tested again and it was positive. So sometimes it can take a while. I don't think I even tested until about 16DPO myself

I too know all about that fun everyone getting pregnant thing. One of my friends knew we were trying and just announced it to the world. Then asked if I could watch her baby after it was born since I had nothing else to do (I don't work).
The other close friend understood that it took me a few moments. She totally understood. She knows I was never more supportive of her though after the initial pain. She had felt it enough herself. Sadly she lost her baby at about 8 weeks... the fetus had stopped growing at roughly 5 or so and they had to do a D&C since her body was obviously not "doing it naturally" My heart broke for her too... it was rough telling her I was pregnant, but she, again knows that I am supporting her and praying for her. They were just given the "go ahead to try again" So my fingers are crossed.

My point is that some people don't think before they speak or act. They seemingly have no idea how painful it can be to go through it. I know I felt like a failure. I had given up totally since we had been at it about 10 months. Every time someone got pregnant it stung and not many got it. Yes, relaxing can help... my doc even told me as much too. But it isn't always the answer for everyone. Some do need more help! I think some just don't think outside of their own lives and how different every person and every body can be.

I think the ones who get pregnant easily and quickly just don't understand the pain and emotional drain (or financial for all those who need additional "help").

There's my long ramble for the day

And I will keep my fingers crossed for more BFP's here. My heart really does go out to you all!

 

[arizonacolbys]

Hi girls!! Just wanted to check-in with everyone! Not much is new here - finally made my 1st doctor's appointment yesterday - they won't see me until 10 weeks!! So, I won't be there until 12/18 which is right around 10 weeks for me. It stinks to have to wait that long, but will be exciting when I do get to go since they'll do an ultrasound then & everything. Hubby is coming with me since they're doing the ultrasound - not sure what else to expect at that first appointment though. Do they usually keep your DH in the room for all the poking & prodding, or only for the ultrasound? LOL Just really not sure what to expect at this point!!

I've been feeling pretty good - just VERY tired in the evenings - I've been taking lots of naps!! Looking forward to telling my family on Turkey Day next week & a couple of my close girlfriends when they're in town next week for the holiday as well. I think we're still waiting until Christmas Day to tell my in-laws - I only see them once a week or so, so it's easier to hide from them right now & then surprise them at Christmas. Looks like we should have our first ultrasound pic to give them then, too!!

How soon does everyone usually tell their employer??

 

[Jen_in_NH]

HI everybody!

Kelly - Good luckwith your OB. Hopefully they'll do the bloodwork just to check things out.

SDFgirl - until AF shows, you won't know one way or the other. I didn't get a + until 15dpo, although that was the only test I took, so I don't know if I would have got anything earlier.

Ash -

FLyingBelle - how did the IUI go? Everything OK?

Skuttle - sorry about AF. She just doesn't realize where she's not welcome...


I always hated all of the comments people used to make about "when are you two having kids" etc. I just finally started telling them "When all of the fertility meds start working" Most were embarrased enough to let the subject drop. It never seems to stop stinging though. Until you can't get pregnant, I don't think you can appreciate what it feels like.

I haven't seen Carla or Nicole around in weeks. Actually, not since that IVF thread. If you guys are around, tell us you're OK!!!!!

BFP's for everyone!

Jen

 

[Jen_in_NH]

Hi girls!! Just wanted to check-in with everyone! Not much is new here - finally made my 1st doctor's appointment yesterday - they won't see me until 10 weeks!! So, I won't be there until 12/18 which is right around 10 weeks for me. It stinks to have to wait that long, but will be exciting when I do get to go since they'll do an ultrasound then & everything. Hubby is coming with me since they're doing the ultrasound - not sure what else to expect at that first appointment though. Do they usually keep your DH in the room for all the poking & prodding, or only for the ultrasound? LOL Just really not sure what to expect at this point!!

I've been feeling pretty good - just VERY tired in the evenings - I've been taking lots of naps!! Looking forward to telling my family on Turkey Day next week & a couple of my close girlfriends when they're in town next week for the holiday as well. I think we're still waiting until Christmas Day to tell my in-laws - I only see them once a week or so, so it's easier to hide from them right now & then surprise them at Christmas. Looks like we should have our first ultrasound pic to give them then, too!!

How soon does everyone usually tell their employer??

My DH stayed for everything, Pap inculded But he'd been with he for most of the infertility workup, so it was nothing he hadn't seen before.... At my first appointment, it was a lot of history stuff, a physical, and blood work. No u/s for us until 12 weeks (only to make sure my dates were right), and then another one coming up at 18 weeks to check the baby out.

Tired has been about my only symptom too. I have some odd food cravings, but no real morning sickness to speak of. I'm starting to notice that I'm cold all the time too, but the weather is chilly and damp around here now.

I have told my boss, but I haven't let the town know officially yet. I need to soon, but I want to wait until we hire the new fire chief to sit down and plan it out with them.

Jen

 

[helenabear]

Emily, my doc does things in two groups as well. The first real appt I went to was just about my history and going over how the whole "thing" works there. They also did the urine sample for proteins and some blood work to check for certain viruses (HIV included).
My doctor said she will not be needing to do a Pap for me since I just had one at the end of June. No need to do it until after the baby is born, so I should get out of that part. They will only do it if it has been over 6 months since your last... and they assume they'll do the anual pap when it is "due"
That said, my first ultrasound was done transvag, so my husband got to see all that. He asked how it felt to be jabbed with that thing. In all honesty it didn't feel like it went in far, but according to him it did
I am assuming this next ultrasound of mine will not be done that way, so it won't be a huge deal. But my husband would stick around for anything that I wanted him to. In all honesty since things were not so good for us in the beginning, I think he's good with most of it.
Keep in mind, I had a horrible start (bleeding and clotting that finally ended after three weeks) and I had 3 Betas, a RhoGAM shot and the emergency ultrasound done w/in about a 1.5 week time span. So my DH heard and saw a lot and was good with it

As for telling your employer, I told mine when I needed the test Okay seriously since I don't work, I can tell you only what my friends at work did when they got pregnant. Most of them didn't say anything until well into the 2nd trimester. Usually they were about 4-5 months pregnant at that time. I don't think anyone said anything much ealier and definitely not any later.

Jen, I noticed that about Nicole too... I looked and Carla didn't even come online since that thread. Forgot to look at Nicole
Oh and I got lucky, people stopped asking me when we were having kids. After being married 6 years and me not working 1.5 the questions stopped a long time ago

 

[FlyingBelle]

IUI is done! This was our 3rd one - what is the saying...3rd time is the charm?

A different nurse did it this time - she actually let DH push the plunger in (once he put his coffee down ).

There was a little mix-up on Thursday, though - the other nurse was telling me what meds to take over the weekend and what day to do what... she told us to on Friday and then abstain, but provide a "sample" on Sunday and then abstain until the IUI. Didn't make much sense to me, and I questioned her on it, but did as told. Turns out we should have on Sunday too. I really, REALLY hope that doesn't screw us up. DH's count was great today, but I also woke up with cramps this morning - indicating that I was starting to ovulate. I don't know how long it takes those eggs to drop - I started cramping about 4am and the IUI was at 8:30am.
To those who were asking if DH sticks around for all the poking & proding - the first time DH did for an internal u/s - all I got out of him when the tech left the room was "nice view". Sweet, isn't he?

 

[arizonacolbys]

Thanks Jen & Elaine!!!

I'm sure my hubby will be fine with being there for all the tests & everything, I was just curious. I'm sure he'll witness SO much more throughout the pregnancy leading up to the delivery, that the first appointment will be nothing!

I don't think we'll have to do a pap - I also just had one in June. I was told when I called in that about 2 weeks before my appointment at 10 weeks in December that a nurse from the office would call me & do an "interview" over the phone. They'll go over all the medical history stuff then to get it out of the way before I come into the office. Then at the appointment I was told they'd do my first ultrasound & answer any questions I have.

I'm still on the fence on whether I'll tell my boss just before Christmas, or after I come back in January - I'll be between 13-14 weeks at that time. Since I have a coworker due in March, I feel like I should tell him sooner rather than later. Thanks again for all the advice!!