any one save more carefully because they know they wont receive an inheritance?

[momxx5]

We do not live any well-to-do area. At lot of families made thier money either in tobacco farming, or working for large companies and getting huge retirement buy-out pkgs with stocks.

I don't think I know of many grandparents that work around here. As a preschool teacher, I would say that 75% of the children were cared for by grandparents while their parents worked. Then the whole family would take long summer vacations to the beach.
Next door, they go to the beach the whole month of July....on grandparents expenses.
So my generation is saving huge amounts of childcare and vacation expenses.

More importantly I see the valuable relationships between an older generation and the children....that is priceless.
I often tell the parents how fortunate they are to have parents/grandparents so involved. A friendly reminder.
When we went to hospital to have baby #4 we paid a teenager (with her parents permission and school ok) $100 to watch the 3 boys for the day. She was awesome.

When DH's father was dying of advance lung cancer we lived in a different state....closer to extended family. We had only one vechicle at the time, so DH had to RENT a car to visit hospital daily for 2 weeks....meanwhile 3 cars where unsued in the driveway. Stepmom also stated....after grandpa died....that they was no will/trust, etc. to make things so much easier that everything would go to her. DH's dad was an attorney and accountant (masters of education in both)...it seems a bit odd for him not to have a will.
Oh well. She did offer to see us one of the cars at "book value, and not a penny more!".....gee, no thanks.

Back to the point.....we do not expect any inheritance at all. Given our families circumstances it would be highly unlikely to be any money. We know that and certainly do not expect anything.
That said, most people here are already counting the eggs in the basket assuming what they will inherit. I wish them all the best.

Like I said it is a very small community and families are big and extended. What would seem like a family reunion is really just Sunday night dinner. LOL!
Read the book The Bridge.....its about this area and explains a bit.

 

[luvthemouse71]

My parents may have some money that they'll give to their kids larer- but that doesn't figure into my planning.

Myself, I plan on saving to give myself a nice retirement, have enough to bury me, and then die broke. IMHO, assuming that someone will give you money when they die is tacky and arrogant.

 

[rewok]

My parents may have some money that they'll give to their kids larer- but that doesn't figure into my planning.

Myself, I plan on saving to give myself a nice retirement, have enough to bury me, and then die broke. IMHO, assuming that someone will give you money when they die is tacky and arrogant.

But you know, some of those people might not be just assuming, it might be openly discussed! As I stated, my own father put away the inheritance he got from his parents, and is preserving it for us (DSis & I)! Then there's the family lake cottage, and some big plot of forest land, that he sees as his legacy to us, and he'd want us to keep it. So I'm not really assuming anything, unless my parents run out of money first (unlikely as they are quite savvy), we'll get this. It's their own wish.

But I still save my own nest egg, because you never know!

 

[Disneybuckeye]

My MIL has nothing and with 7 kids and 20 some grandkids we do not want or nee anyhing from her estate. We are saving to take care of ourselves. I do have a seven figure trust fund (guaranteed)and 1/3 of a multi-million dollar estate (baring something really bizarre happening) that I will inherit when both of my parents pass. As both of my grandmothers lived well into their 90's I can't plan on that money for retirement so I don't.

 

[kaphil]

I'm hoping for enough for a Mickey ice cream bar...

 

[sk!mom]

Inheritance- hahahaha, what's that?

DH and I have needed to save more aggresively so that we could help our parents with end of life, long term care expenses.

 

[walkdmc]

There are so many uncertainties, even with inheritances that I think it's foolish to rely on them for income/retirement, etc. I have never seen one inheritance go smoothly, most wound up with lawyers and court dates, detracting from the inheritance.

 

[kkacar]

We could care less about inheritance. We frequently tell both our sets of parents to spend it all!

What we will miss when they are gone is all the fabulous time we spend with them. Earlier someone said that family dinners are like family reunions. Yep that's us. We do Wednesday night with half my family. Mom, step Dad, Bro-Sil-nephew x's 2, Aunt then me, hubs, and the Diva. So our regularly scheduled Wed. night dinner is normally 12 people and we rotate houses. We typically do Monday night at my Dad's and if all of us kids are there; a total of 5 then when you start counting boyfriends and husbands you will have at least 20 people and its just what we do. Sundays are for hubs family and he is the baby and if its a normal Sunday and everyone comes, it will be MIL, FIL, 3 BIL, 3 SIL, 2 nephews, 2 nephews plus their wives and 1 great nephew and 1 with a great niece of nephew on the way, 1 niece and husband with 2 great nieces. And usually Crazy Aunt Sherry (she's not really crazy-much-, but she is divorced and never had kids so she comes to her Sisters for everything, my MIL) and sometimes we compound that on Sunday and add my Mom and family along with one of my SIL's sets of parents.

Those are just normal for us. Just my diva's family birthday with be 50+ people. That is family, not friends from school. We have a family party and then she gets to have her "friend" party. And we have both because our families feelings would be hurt if they did not get to come.

We love all the family time. It's entirely more important to us than any monetary inheritance we might receive one day. And yes, my kid is the kid that is playing on the soccer field with a cheering section of 10-15 people. She knows she's loved and she is not getting anything more than what the hubs nephews and nieces got when they were smaller and we are right there when my nephews and nieces have something going on. And yes, I have to be careful that either my Mom, my Step Mom or my MIL do not go buy my daughters school supplies. They also take her shopping seasonally for a new outfit or 2 because the want to, not because we need them to. Those things make them happy, they like to spend time with her that way. And yes we will vacation with both sets of my parents and my hubs parents. But the whole family will vacation together. It's just something we do.

Hope that all made sense and we have retirement savings and we hope that all our parents spend every dime they have and have a good time doing it. It's their money and they should do whatever makes them happy.

kelli

 

[disykat]

I figure we could either inherit, or spend a bunch of our own money taking care of our parents - all depending on circumstances. Who knows?

In a perfect world, our parents would die "even." I would hope if I expected a large inheritance I would be think of some ways I could honor my parents with that money (scholarship funds, donations to causes they cared about, etc.) beyond simply using it to pay my expenses.

 

[torinsmom]

JB2K - We are not from here (central NC) but this is a smaller town. Everyone went to school with each other, or knows where they graduation from. Most people know the other's kinfolk, etc.

Grandparents are a central part of families. Everyone goes to Granny's from Christmas, Easter, Aunt Susie's 66th birthday, etc.

And most of the older generation purchased beach homes that have become family summer homes. So the parents & kids (families like mine) pack it up and go to the beach house for weeks at a time.

I am sometimes envious of the large extended families that some have. Like at my DD's dance recital....people where saving whole rows of 10-15 seats for grandmas, aunts, cousins, etc.

Our situation is def different than others's around here.
Again...its small town central NC USA.

Wow, must be a different type of town in central NC than the one I grew up in AND the one I now live in. Although I do know plenty of people who have family living closeby, only a few people I know have families with summer homes.

I doubt I will get any inheritance. My parents are not well-off, and may have long term care needs as well. My dad has not shared his will, even with my mom, so who knows? She may not get anything, and any money he has may go to the church. Anything my mom has would be split among the grandchildren if she had a will (this is what she says), but I am pretty sure she doesn't have one.

 

[crisi]

I'll tell you a few inheritence stories.

My husband's grandfather was pretty wealthy, and my father in law lived his life assuming that when his dad died, he'd get half (there were two children). Dad died, and the second wife got everything - and lived another twenty years. More than ten years ago she died, and my father in law got his inheritance. But instead of half, his step mother had split it up. Two sons, four grandchildren (including my husband), her two close nieces. A university got an endowment, charity got some money - and when the inheritance arrived, it was nice, but it wasn't the "I'll be set for life" he expected.

An acquittance of mine had a fairly wealthy mother. She gave them enough in gifts that they never really needed "serious" jobs. She bought them a house. When she died they'd be independently wealthy - so they thought. When she died, they discovered she'd given them almost everything she had already and the gravy train was done.

My parents will spend down everything they have, and we support my mother in law now - the only inheritance I'll get from her will be the cessation of checks her direction. My father in law married a woman only a few years younger than me (the one waiting on his inheritance), I hope there is money there to support her. We did, however, get that check from my husband's step grandmother......

 

[amyy]

I've seen a few very positive inheritance stories. I am not sure I know of one that went wrong. Granted I only know about the people close to me. I doubt I will have much to leave someone but I sure hope I can. Before I was married I told my close friend that if I died she needed to take her family of 6 on a month long African safari with my life insurance money

 

[Amy5000]

I've seen a few very positive inheritance stories.

When I took trusts and estates in law school my professor was always pulling out a Dear Ann or Dear Abbey clipping about some horrid will, probate, inheritance issue to introduce new topics. (His collection of these was impressive). But I remember on the last day of class he pulled out one of these Dear A clippings about a family where, when the matriarch, died five the siblings got together and deeded their share of the family homestead to the sixth sibling who had spent more than 20 years taking care of mom. It went on to talk about what they all did for each other. It was such a feel good piece.

 

[amyy]

When I took trusts and estates in law school my professor was always pulling out a Dear Ann or Dear Abbey clipping about some horrid will, probate, inheritance issue to introduce new topics. (His collection of these was impressive). But I remember on the last day of class he pulled out one of these Dear A clippings about a family where, when the matriarch, died five the siblings got together and deeded their share of the family homestead to the sixth sibling who had spent more than 20 years taking care of mom. It went on to talk about what they all did for each other. It was such a feel good piece.

It is nice to hear that good things happen to good people.

 

[DisMN]

We don't plan to inherit anything but you never really know. Sometimes there are friends or relatives who want to give their money to you and you had no idea! DHs uncle lived in a pop up camper on the old family farmland. Raised cows and never really owned much of anything. Ate what he grew and we just saw him as very much the hobo.

Turns out he was worth just under a million.........left it to his 4 siblings. What a shock that was!!

As far as saving more carefully that's a hard one to answer as we're nearing retirement but are still paying off massive debt from an old business venture. I guess yes, we're definitely not planning on inheriting anything from anyone and are doing what we can for ourselves and our future, not that we can do much. LOL

 

[Molliday]

I have no idea what I will, or will not inherit from my parents/in-laws, etc. I don't want to know. I shouldn't know, and it's certainly not something that I've ever pondered.

 

[angierae]

We will inherit a good chunk of money, but i'm certainly not COUNTING on it.

 

[mel&me]

I did not read all the posts, but I would in no way ever relie on money coming from anywhere. People need to do things for themselves, and not count on others to do it for them.

 

[Buckeye Princess]

We spend less and save more because of inheritance. I'll explain.

My husband has a VERY large amount of money in savings/investments/real estate due to the generosity, careful planning, and frugality of his parents, grandparents, and great grandparents. He actually just finished med school. During med school we had two children and I was able to fulfill my dream of being a stay at home mom because we lived off the interest and investment income. Granted we had a very tight budget, and will during residency too. I am so grateful that these amazing people worked so hard and did without to give us this opportunity. We are debt free (no school loans, mortgage etc) because of them. I would probably spend more freely if we earned the money, but they did this for us to give us a better life. That means a safe home, good schools, enjoyable family time, and healthy food. Not fancy cars, designer clothes, etc. I am grateful for the money, but I am even more grateful for the strong worth ethic and good financial planning they have taught my husband and I.

I want to provide the same for my children so we plan to maintain our current level of living when DH is out of residency and his income increases 4x. We should be able to stash away plenty to have a secure future not only for ourselves but for our children and grandchildren.

 

[ConnieB]

IMOH It is foolish not to save for your own family because of a presumed inheiritance to be given on another's death. Wills change, people live a long time and while one is living they are under no obligation to save their money for their heirs. Seems like a really bad plan to me.

Yep...and one devasting illness can wipe that inheritance off the table. Or with as many scammers as are targeting the elderly......one bad judgment.

Since neither my DH nor I have parents still alive, nope, we won't be getting anything, unless there is a long lost generous relative that we haven't met yet, lol. I don't give up hope for that, but we do realize that either we have to plan for our future, or else we better hope that our relationship with our kids stays as good as it is now.....since both my daughters claim that they want me to live with them and homeschool their children, maybe we won't have to worry, lol. Of course, considering that one plans to be in Hollywood and the other at WDW I'm not sure how I'm going to manage to homeschool both sets of grands....but hey, maybe I'll just keep the kids at MY house and let their parents visit and bring money. LOL

So, since you run your own business, perhaps it would be wise to bring the kids into the business as soon as they're old enough to file, sweept or make copies and build your own family business where the kids can continue on and support you!