Any non-AP parents out there??

[mercydisney]

I hate the fact that it is called attachment parenting. While I understand that to be the basis of most of their theories I think it is dangerous to use the word attachment as if that is the only way a child will attach to their parents. All children and parents are different and what works for one will not work for all.

I strongly agree with you. I have to DD's and they are both so different. If DD11 was never clingy, while DD6 would cry if I was not in the same room w/her. I breastfed DD11 for 6 months and DD6 was breastfed for a yr. If she had her way, she would still be breastfed.

I do what's best for my child not what my neighbors or friends dictates is popular at the time.

I also thought it was an Annual Pass question.

 

[graygables]

I morphed from non-AP to a modified AP...old age and fatigue did it to me!

My oldest 2 are 21 and 18. They slept in this really cool mid-80s carrier thing on the floor next to my bed for the first few weeks (I was quite ill after DD1, so needed to not go far to care for her), but after that was in a crib. She was bottle fed from the beginning, "pamper"ed, spanked (although she would say 'beaten' ), and mostly public schooled. 18yo I did try to nurse, but was alone in that, so it didn't last. She followed in her sister's footsteps.

My youngest 2 are 11 and 8. They were never supposed to be able to be born according to 3 doctors, so I'm afraid those fears/emotions stuck with me. Also, the current pressure to breastfeed was enormous, so we tried. 11yo was deathly allergic to my milk (talk about guilt!) and despite removing pretty much everything from my diet, we had to put her on special formula. She was in a cradle next to me until she slept through the night and then her crib. I did wear her a lot, but that was due to the colic and violent cramping she had...she just felt better being snuggled. She's been spanked a time or two, but DH is anti-spanking due to his childhood (alcoholic dad), so we opted for more "natural consequences" which has worked remarkably well for 11yo. I did cloth diaper her b/c she has psoriasis and it was a medical necessity.

8yo has been where I totally caved to most of the AP thing. She could absolutely NOT sleep without being rocked, cuddled, held. NOT at all. We tried everything. She could scream for HOURS without sleeping. I finally learned to "feel" when she was ready to lay down and I would put her in her crib. If I took her a minute too soon, she'd bolt awake and I'd have to start it all over again. With a DH and 3 other children in the house, screaming was NOT an option, so cuddle and rock I did. I nursed her as much as I could, but quite honestly didn't give it as much effort as I probably could have. I pumped on a schedule and fed on demand, supplementing as necessary until my supply tapered off. I did cloth diaper her out of economic necessity, plus I already had all the supplies. She does get the rear-tap more frequently than her older sister, but it's b/c she's bipolar and needs that little nudge to snap her out of a meltdown at times. After the crib, she did not sleep through the night in her own bed until about a month ago (she could sleep on the couch, though ). Now, if DH is out of town, she still can't, she sleeps with me. I think if she weren't such a needy child, I would not have done as much AP with her, but it's been the only way to keep any of our sanity.

We do homeschool the younger 2, but that is less about AP and more about educational needs and the fact that I used to be a PS teacher.

As far as immunizations go, older 2 were fully immunized, younger 2 were until DD3 (then 4yo) contracted pertussis (despite being vaccinated) and DD4 (then 2) had to have a rapidly-growing cyst surgically removed from her thigh caused by a botched immunization attempt all in the same year. DD3 was in the midst of an autism dx which made the whole vaccine thing come up and after a long talk with our ped, he agreed that it might be better to only keep up with the tetanus vaccine in light of the problems both girls had.

I guess my take on parenting philosophy is that you shouldn't really have one. Each child is different and will have different needs for everything from sleep to discipline. Also, as Oprah says, "When you know better, you do better."

 

[tweedlemom]

Cribs, formula, immunizations, circumcisions, RARE spanking and public school here!

 

[nextidiot]

Co-sleeping: for us, never--we rolled over on the cat way too many times to ever risk it with a baby.

 

[madge]

There are a few AP parenting threads going on here and I was wondering if there were any others out there who did not adopt this philosophy?

Oh - and he has been both circumcised (sp?) and immunized.
I'm just curious if there is anyone on these boards who has a philosophy similar to mine.

I do!

My youngest spent a lot of time in a Baby Bjorn, out of necessity. It was easier to carry her that way when she was a baby while I was busy with my other two children. She saw WDW from that Bjorn when she was 8 months old That same child wandered into our room and climbed into bed with us for a while - she's 5 now, and it happens a lot less than it used to. She slept in her crib as a baby, though. She didn't start trying to sleep with us until she was 3. My boys were circ'ed and they've all had their shots. Even though I adamently opposed the chicken pox shot, the school required it, and my DD got the CP from the shot I'm still irritated about that one.

 

[KiKi Mouse]

I don't follow a "type" of parenting. I just do what feels right and works for my girls. People get so wrapped up in "following" the newest/ latest/ trendiest advice that they are more worried about keeping up with the new mother down the street than what works best for their baby! Healthwise, I've done what is healthiest for my daughters. They were/ are breastfed, they have their immunizations, and regular doctor's appointments. The way you care for your children is a very personal affair. No book, no doctor is going to be able to tell you exactly what is best for your individual child. And it should not be a competion of which style is better than the other. Each child, each family, each parenting style is different from the rest. As long as a child is loved, supported, and kept safe from harm....then your parenting style works.

You do have to do what works best for your family.
DD#1 was breastfed exclusively. DD#2 needs to be supplemented as I have low breastmilk. Both slept in the bed as babies and DD#2 comes to bed to nurse when she wakes. Both were carried a lot and worn a bit. Neither are immunized because my friend has a vaccine damaged child and it scares the cr*p out of me. There is also a little girl in my daughter's school that is suspected to ber vaccine damaged. My stance on vaccines is to do your research and make a decision from there. I chose not to vaccinate but that was my choice.

 

[klineyqueen]

I can't cosleep. I can barely sleep with my DH...I seriously need lots of room.

When we were on our last Disney trip the kids could not sleep together. The 18 month old would NOT leave her 4 year old brother alone!!!

My DH and I took turns sleeping with each kid, I loved getting to be with them. But at home, they have their own bed and DH and I share a bed.

I do not spank or hit my kids. I did not use the sling with my kids, but they did (and still do) get lots of hugs, cuddles, and being held whenever they wanted to be held.

I did immunize my kids.

I think you need to do what works best for you and your kids. Being a parent is challenging no matter what method or mixture of methods you use. We all just need to support each other!

 

[Jen_in_NH]

Hi there!

Can I sign up too?

I'm not sure what I'd describe my style as, other than my own. My son is 3 months old now, and things are still changing. I'd planned on breastfeeding him, but between problems with him latching on, pain, and low supply, that didn't work. I tried pumping for a while, but when I went back to work, that went out the window (I'm a firefighter, so anything that has to be done on a schedule doesn't work.....) He slept in our room in a pack and play for about 8 weeks, but now is in his own room in his crib. He was circumcised, to avoid the "why don't I look like Daddy" questions...... He's carried quite a bit, sometimes with a front pack, but he doesn't really care for the carrier. He is a cloth diaper kid - more so the dog won't eat the dirty diapers Immunizations - so far, but I'm still considering the chicken pox and hep A.

I don't know what that makes me, but he's a happy, healthy kid, so I guess what we're doing works!

Jen

 

[NotUrsula]

Just FTR, the Sears', who coined the term, never put a preference re: circumcision or immunizations into the theory. If that has been added, it has been added by someone other than the originators of the term "Attachment Parenting".

Also, the "attachment" in this reference is more physical than emotional, IMO. I never interpreted Sear's theory to imply that parents who follow more of a scientific child rearing model to be emotionally detached from their babies, but there definitely is more of a physical distancing in that school of thought, and more of an emphasis on independence on the part of the child from a very early age.

The original "scientific" child-rearing model was published in 1894 by L. Emmett Holt. It was entitled "The Care and Feeding of Children", and it is out of copyright, so you can read it for free via Project Gutenberg. http://www.gutenberg.org/etext/15484
Naturally, Holt's original advice has been condemned as extreme, but it shows the other end of the spectrum. And the whole "style" question *is* a spectrum, and has been ever since the Victorians popularized the idea that one could actually think about how one's children were being raised and attempt to influence their development by means of altering your interactions with them.

 

[Tikicampers]

This is such a good thread. I am going to be a first time Mommy in January and am trying to decide what style of parent I should be. Attachment parenting doesn't seem to suit my personality. Are there any books or web sites that describe the different methods of parenting?
Thanks!

There is no way for you to decide ahead of time how you will parent your kids. It just comes to you. So far, I am not even parenting DD exactly as I did DS. We did co-sleeping with DS, but are not with DD. She is just a different child, and if I tried to do everything for her the same as I did with DS, I would not be meeting her needs. I have nursed both my babies, pumping after going back to work, and I do use a sling for DD (didn't for DS).
If I have a style, it's Figure It Out As You Go. I have a degree in Early Childhood Education, and DH is a nurse, so we feel like we have some good information to start with, and then we just go with what feels right. If you feel the need to read up, I wouldn't look at parenting books, but books about the stages of childhood development. One book I would recommend to all new parents is Einstein Never Used Flashcards (or maybe Einstein Didn't Use Flashcards, sorry my brain's gone).
I read some of the AP thread, and many of them said they didn't start out to be AP either, they just turned out that way.

 

[snocrossmechanic]

OK. Here goes. I read most of the posts and I assume that most of you, if not all, are mothers to the children we are talking about. I would like to give my "father" perspective on the subject. First off I am a first time parent with a wonderful son all of 18 months old.

I see there are some clear descriptions of "AP" parenting and "non-AP" parenting and I was surprised to learn I am both and neither at the same time. My son has all his shots, was circ., slept in his own crib from day 1 yet it was located in our bedroom for a year, and was breastfed for over 10 months. We use/used a front chest type carrier, a stroller, and a backpack for him depending on what we are doing. We also "toss him on our hip" and carry him if needed. Almost always if he comes to me and requests to be picked up I pick him up. I feed him organic food when possible. He drinks milk from a local farm that is organic also. We use florinated bottled water too and dont drink from the tap even though it is perfectly fine.

As for schools we are choosing our church's Catholic school and have selected his middle and high schools accordingly. We have started investing for him (I happen to work in the financial industry) and are building accounts to fund his education hopefully including college.

We dont' spank or take away items. Out "time outs" consist of sitting with him and reading or talking. We do disipline him by getting down to his eye level and talking about what happened. He may not understand the words but he does understand the meaning.

Our friends make fun of us for the way we do things somethimes. They joke with us about the organic foods or the strict schedule we keep him on (even at Disney). We just realize that is what we do and what they choose to do is different. All the kids play and interact together well.

NOW the why.....We do what we do because we are able to. My thought is to give my children the best opportunities I can offer them. I don't think that is spoiling either. If I feel organic foods are better and I can afford them with little or no difficulty then why not. If I would like my children to go to a private school rather than public (and I see/feel a value in that) then I think they should. I just look at each thing and try to figure out what is best. I want my children to have respect for one another, self control, behave well, and be productive members of society. They can't do that unless my wife and I do it first and show them the way.

Everyday I get to wake up and see my son smile at me as we start our day. He is my reason for being here and my focus in life. I can't imagine putting a tag on the type of parent I am or the style of parenting I use. I love him no matter what and I will put every effort forth to give him, and future children, the best I can. I am in this for the long haul and I don't feel the choices about circ., co-sleeping, spanking, or what school they go to make any difference if the parents are not well grounded and live thier lives the way they would like to see thier children become. His smile lights up my morning and that is what I am looking forward to in the next 8 hours or so.

Good luck to all of you with your kids. Whatever type of parent you are I am sure your kids will grow up to be just great.

Cheers.

 

[jenandkam]

Wow - great replies!

I will agree with most of you, I have no defined style. The list I put in the OP are things I have done over the last 4.5 years based on influences from my own upbringing and things that I found worked for me.

I in no way meant to imply that non-AP parents don't carry their kids or spend physical time with them. I can't get enough of holding and hugging DS. I just agree with the poster that said that perhaps not every whim of a child should be acted on. Again -- just my opinion.

DS was not sleeping through the night at 9 mos. His Pediatrician suggested that I let him cry it out and I did. Hardest 2 nights of my life!!! Her logic made sense to me: "Jen, if you woke up at 2 in the morning every night and ate a club sandwich, you would continue to wake up at 2 in the mornning every night and want a club sandwich". Needless to say - after 9 mos I needed some sleep!!!

If I had given birth to a daughter, she would have been given hormone-free milk. Healthy living is definitely not an AP parent exclusive!

I have no problem when mothers BF their kids past 1 yo. As a matter of fact, I have gotten angry the 2 times I have heard people make snide remarks about mothers (completely covered) BF their kids at the playground. Now, I knew a woman who BF her daughter until she was 6 (until her milk finally dried up) and then the daughter "just latches on twice a day for the bonding". I think that is borderline abuse, but maybe that's just me!!

I'm glad to see that I am not alone in a more old-school parenting style. Again, I think that for the most part all parents try to do the best they can for their kids and that's really what's important. It's just good to know you're not alone!

 

[brymolmom]

Hi - I'll jump on the non-AP parent list.

I only BF'd due to horrible pressure for the first couple weeks/few days of my kids birth - and I wish I hadn't. Unfortunately, the BF'ing has left a cloud of unhappiness during my kids first days of life.

Don't forget this one - I happily go to 'adult only' events and host some of them myself (my kids go to bed at 8:00 - so we have adults over in the evenings after they're in bed). I play volleyball and golf and scrapbook by myself and go out with DH and friends sometimes. I feel that we need to show our kids how to be adults and not only how to be parents and that I can only be the best parent I can be if I don't soley parent and not be any of the other things that I am. I don't mind when people choose to only do kid friendly events (although I think it's kind of mean to those kid-less friends that they have - or had before they had kids). However, when people get angry when their kids aren't invited....or just bring them anyway - knowing that it is supposed to be adult-only...that bothers me.

 

[BuzzandAriel'smom]

I was pro- breastfeeding, until dd was in the hospital for 13 days when she was born because she wouldn't eat and she was 4 lbs. So she never really took to the breast. I tried feeding her and pumped for 6 weeks and then made my life alot easier and switched to formula. DS ate non stop for 5 weeks. I would feed him 13 times a day for 30 minutes each time. Not fun. With formula we went down to 8 times a day.

We are against co-sleeping in our home. My kids don't sleep anywhere but their own beds. We had a bassinet and used it for a few weeks until the baby started sleeping for 3 hrs at a time and then it was easier and quieter to have them sleep in their own rooms.

I never used a sling. I am hot-natured and would rather push a stroller. Dd was not a cuddly baby and the one time I put her in the snuggli she cried the whole time.

We did not have DS circumsized. I felt it was unnecessary after researcing it. Plus with our DD having so many struggles after she was born I just couldn't bare to have an elective surgery on my son.

I am not a spanker. In my experience it doesn't teach them anything. We do time-outs and take away toys.

We let our kids cry it out and they are GREAT sleepers! 12 hrs a night still at 3 and 5 yrs old!

Kids have always been immunized on time.

We send our kids to Christian pre-school and public grade school. I am a Sunday school teacher and I went to public school. I will teach my kids my belief system along with their church family.

All that said, I have no problems with anyone else's parenting styles and would never say anything unless they asked my advice because it wasn't working. I think you have to be real about what works for you and not what some book says.

 

[Wickedmom75]

4 kids, DD12 started out nursing until about 4 months old , then I got pregnant and she weaned herself, she slept with me and hubby (never really thought about it, and hubby is a snuggle freak) about a month before DD11 was born , I worked with her on sleeping in her crib, tried to ferberizer her but after 2 nights I couldn't deal anymore, I didn't pick her up but I slept in the same room with her for about a week.

When DD11 was born I said no sleeping with us, until she got colic and reflux, she was still bf but the only way to sleep was in a chair with me sitting up, she got better at about 6 months and self weaned at 10 1/2 months.

DS9 Started the night out in his bassinet but when he woke at midnight he came in to bed with us, eventually moved to his crib in another room but always came back in bed with us when it was time to nurse, Weaned at 1 year but he still would crawl out of his crib at about 2 am and get into bed with us until he was about 2 (which is funny now cause the boy runs the other way when you try to get a cuddle in)

DS6 the baby, BF till he was 18 months and then I weaned him!!! Slept with us or in his bassinette by our bed for the 1st three months, then ended up in our bed until he was a year old, after that he would crawl into bed with me when hubby's alarm would go off at 4 in the morning, he stopped that on his own when he was 3 but he is a snuggler like his dad , he will come sit in my lap when we are watching tv or wedge himself between me and the back of the chair when I am on the computer.

They all at one time or another had a bottle of formula or breastmilk. Both boys were Circumcised , knew both sides of the debate and just did it. We "wore" all of them to varying degrees , I loved having my sling ( it made it much easier to sleep sitting up with DD11 I didn't have to worry about dropping her) and it was great for when I had to breastfeed in public.

All have been vaccinated and we are getting the girls the HPV shots.They all walked early (much to my horror)
And yes they do get spanked , they know that whatever they have done is Baaaaaaaaaaaad if they are getting a spanking, it is a last resort.

They seem well adjusted , DS9 has aspergers but I totally see it in his father and grandmother so I don't know if shots had anything to do with it.

You can tell yourself all you want to do or not to do when it comes to having children , but in reality you will do what you feel best is for your child, and what is good for some may not be for you and vice versa.

 

[kileybeth]

Hi All you great parents!!

Nothing to add, well. . . . .not much for me anyway!

can't really sign up for the ap listing or this one as over the past 25 years we've tried a little bit of everything (amazing what you will do when sleep deprived) with our 6 kids!

one thing I notice is that parenting styles come and parenting styles go, cloth diapers this year, pampers next year, solid foods early, solid foods later, BF for 3 months or 3years, to immunize or not. Is one way better/right, who knows!

Here is what I do know.

No two children will ever be parented the same no matter how hard you try and nor should they be. Some like it hot, some like it cold.

The best thing I have ever done in parenting my children is be "on the same page" with their Dad when it came to making any parenting decision. (not always easy but defintely always a good thing in retrospect). Also maintaining my relationship with my spouse as the most important one gave my kids a sense of security in our family that focusing always on their needs first never could have. (my opinion, no flames needed).

Lastly, unconditional love is a very hard thing to live up to and yet when truly given there is no greater reward than your childs love and respect for you.

and since some of you may not have run into me on other post, a peak at my family!

DH47
me, DW44
DS25, married DIL25, DGS5 ~ newest favorite vacation? Disney!
DS20, single college student abroad this year working with street children, orphanages, and teaching English as 2nd language in Cambodia
DS15, highschool freshman this fall, Dad has homeschooled his older brothers through graduation and will again. best description? gamer!
DD12, 7th grade, my huge helper at home!
DS4.5, my most shocking suprise in life. my most flamboyant personality
DD2, (given up being suprised at this point) preemie (31 weeker) finally off all her moniters, meds, and on the growth chart for the first time ever!!!(3rd percentile for weight and height)

can we all spell D-O-N-E? and not sure if breast or bottle, crib, cradle, crying or my arms made one differnt from the others but they are all quite normal happy healthy children.

maybe we need a new catagory????!!! DSP (Disney Selective Parent)

 

[AmyBWV99]

I think if you go into anything with certain expectations of how things 'have' to be you're setting yourself up for disaster, which is why i never wrote a birth plan either b/c it was nothing near what we expected and i'd have been severly dissapointed if I had built it up too much.

I think we went into parenting relaxed and played it by ear and have a well behaved adjusted 2 year old to this point. I never thought i'd have a C-section or a baby in the NICU for 2.5 weeks and was on the fence about BF. Well i did BF for 2.5 months but DS was a very big baby (10lbs 15oz at birth) and i wasn't really able to supply him enough so formula supplements it was, he was eating baby food around 4 months, altho still on formula till around 15 months as well.

He slept in our room in his own bed for 12 months then was in his crib and back in our room around 15 months for a month due to some brain surgery he had and we wanted him closer than across the hall to monitor some of his healing.

We had a Baby Bjorn but he was big and killed my back to wear him long but he has always been held alot but he's perfectly content to play alone as well. He's cried it out a few times b/c well i'm not going to stop my shower b/c he's mad he's not in the bathroom tearing it apart, and i have yet to hear of a kid dying from being mad.

He's had all his shots that he's on target for to this point.

He goes to preschool 3 mornings a week and it's been awesome for him.

We're expecting again and while i doubt that this next baby will be as mellow as DS #1 we'll go into it just the same; feel the kid out and see what works best for us as a family. We have friends who have babies of a similar age to ours and some have chosen a very different route of strict schedules, no shots and diets but that doesn't work for us; it's irritating tho w/the holier than thou attitude is projected onto the way things work for us. Like we're abusing our son if he's up past 8pm or not on an all organic diet.

 

[Amirah95]

DH and I are not into cloth diapering (no way) and co-sleeping but I'm going to try out the babywearing when we're out of the house for breastfeeding purposes (DH asked me to try BF this time around). I didn't know that breastfeeding was a part of any "parenting". I thought it was a way to feed your baby if you didn't want to use formula *shrugs*. Sad that I'm just learning what AP is after having a DD for 12 years. She is very attached to me and we never co-slept and I never wore her and I didn't breastfeed her...what are cloth diapers again? I am also a working mom so I'll have to pump milk and I don't have free time to tend to my children as if I were home full-time. I guess that makes me non-AP.

 

[mom2aredhead]

Both of my children had all their shots- and it's a good thing, because it's actually a law in NYC that the children have all their shots to enter school, to not immunize is considered neglect. And as my pediatrician always says "the benefits far outweigh the risks"
I have never spanked, but I would consider doing so if my child ran into the street, or some other very dangerous thing.

The good news is that my boys are now 14 and 9- they are both very loving and very close to my DH and me, both are healthy and very intelligent. My 14 year old is attending an exclusive Catholic high school on a full scholarship.
So is being a non-AP parent bad? I hardly think so.

Hi Mary - I'm in SI too - I don't really like the fact that the DOE decides about vaccinations, but I would do almost all of them even if not required (Although I'm still not sold on the Chicken Pox one) Is your son is going to the school that starts with an "F"? If so, Kudos on the scholarship!

I read so many books before having my DS last year and realized what the others are saying is true. When they come out, you will know the best thing to do for him/her. I think having a book like "What to Expect the First Year" is great when you are trying to figure out if they are sick or not, how to give them their first bath, stuff like that, but in terms of how to parent, it will just come to you.

Advice from my Mom - Books are not the be all end all of advice - There were books about child rearing when she was raising us, and they included some pretty ridiculous things - mixing raw eggs into things for protein and whisky on teething gums are a few that come to mind. As times change, so do the books. Moms have great intuition, and we all figure it out!

I only BF'd due to horrible pressure for the first couple weeks/few days of my kids birth - and I wish I hadn't. Unfortunately, the BF'ing has left a cloud of unhappiness during my kids first days of life.

Sounds like me. I had pressure from friends, from myself because of what I was reading, and believe it or not, from my husband of all people - he even dragged me to a BF seminar at Babies R Us while I was pregnant! Of course when the La Leche woman leading the seminar referred to breast milk as "liquid gold" and formula as "artificial baby liquid" I felt like I had to BF or I would be setting my son up for a lifetime of being the stupid kid with the never ending ear infections. We (my newborn son and I) were miserable those first few weeks - when I took him for one of his first check-ups at the pediatrician I actually broke down and cried. SHe told me that regardless of what I end up feeding him, I was not doing anyone any good as miserable as I was. I think I just needed someone else to tell me it was OK to give up. We were both so much happier after that!

So, count me in on the non-AP list - We're a bassinet/crib sleeping-formula feeding-bouncy seat using-happy healthy family here!

 

[disneymom3]

I don't follow a "type" of parenting. I just do what feels right and works for my girls. People get so wrapped up in "following" the newest/ latest/ trendiest advice that they are more worried about keeping up with the new mother down the street than what works best for their baby! Healthwise, I've done what is healthiest for my daughters. They were/ are breastfed, they have their immunizations, and regular doctor's appointments. The way you care for your children is a very personal affair. No book, no doctor is going to be able to tell you exactly what is best for your individual child. And it should not be a competion of which style is better than the other. Each child, each family, each parenting style is different from the rest. As long as a child is loved, supported, and kept safe from harm....then your parenting style works.

Once again, I too say this is a great post. The thing is that my parenting style changed depending on the baby I was parenting. I think that is what being parents is all about--meeting your kids where they are and doing what is best for them. Now, by that I don't mean that I bow to my kids' every wish-in fact I am sure they wish I would do that A LOT more! What I am saying though is that for instance, DD was very very social even as an infant. When I brought her into the store I would bring her carrier in and set it in the cart so she could look around. If I had had her in a Baby Bjorn she would have been screaming. DS on the other hand, had several hospitalizations and hated strangers with a passion the likes of which I have never seen. To save my sanity--and to prevent people from thinking I was torturing the baby--I always always had him in the Bjorn. We had a sling for him too, but there was something about that he did not like and he would get all panicky when you even started to put him in it.

DD did not sleep in our bed or even in our room, though I do wish I had let her sleep with us some of the time for the first few months. Both of my boys did and overall they were much less fussy kids than she was. However, they all had their own rooms right away too. Sometimes the boys were with us, sometimes they were in their cribs. This lasted for about 4 months of on and off and then off to their own rooms they went. Once in a great while if they are really scared or not feeling well, they sleep on a pad on the floor next to my side of the bed.

Boys are both circ'd--one out of medical necessity, but honestly we would have done it anyway. DS2 even had to be re-circ'd because the ped screwed it up. Had it fixed by our favorite pediatric urologist in the world and never felt a moment's guilt.

All are immunized except for Chicken pox which the boys have had and DD is being tested for the titer next week. DD will get the HPV one when the time comes and I will simply tell her that it prevents a form of cancer.

All have been spanked for willfull disobedience. (That is a Dr Dobson thing. I don't agree with everything he says by any means, but I do follow that.) For my kids that means the two oldest were spanked 3 times and the youngest 6 times. They are now too old to spank IMO at 11, 7 and 5. Never ever were they spanked in anger. The reaction is much more along the lines of "Well, that is totally unacceptable."

All kids cried it out at some point. My children all had the notion as babies that they were supposed to wake and eat every two hours for months upon months. Oh, I take that back. The youngest slept practically through the night the first night home from the hospital. I don't think he ever cried it out. And even the two who did were not left alone for long.

But OTOH, we homeschool.